Dance of the Moons
by RyuuNoOkaasan
Summary: A collection, added to irregularly, of one-shots for Obi and Ilena from "The Missing Princess" series. I want a place to put muse thoughts and ideas that don't fit in the story line that are still fun or heart pulling reads. If you are enjoying my novels about Obi, you might like to come visit here occasionally.
1. Moon Rising

(K+) _This is the intro. Please move along to the next chapter. It's really good, I promise!_

 **Moon Rising**

 _Book 1: Obi's (Back) Story. Chapter 13 part 2_

He thought about her position, about the fact that Zen would likely not want to give her up. There was one more question to ask tonight. "Miss Ilena, what do you think of Master and Mistress?"

"Mmm?" Ilena asked sleepily. She thought for a moment. Then she softly said, "I love them. And, I am glad they love Obi. ...I have always loved and supported Zen. As he has grown, my surety of that has grown with him as well. To stand at his back, and at the side of Obi - these have always and only ever been my goals. As for Mistress Shirayuki, it has been like watching a brilliant red sun rise over the horizon, ever so slowly approaching the sun that has stood in my blue sky for the longest time, and finding great joy in the approaching and in their dance in the sky. What will it continue to look like? ... It is like I am a pool upon the darkened land. **When I look into the sky I see the moon I love to gaze upon that is Wellesley brightly reflecting the light of the two suns, and I am glad I am able to see that light. I also wish I could rise up from the earth and be a moon, too. ...To dance with the moon I love within the light of the suns. ...That is my dream**." Ilena's voice had been growing quieter, her words coming slower, and now her breathing turned into the soft steady breathing of the sleeping.

Obi held her hand for a long time. Then he picked it up and kissed the back of it gently. Putting it back down, he released it and moved the chair and himself to their proper places. She had supported Zen as Second Prince since he was born because she was the First Princess, and because she loved him as she loved all who she chose - including himself, who had been chosen so many years ago. She had begun to watch over Shirayuki when Zen chose her, the same as she had watched over both Zen and Obi, and she had come to love her as well. _How is it in your dream you are the least of the lights? Do you not know you are a sun as well? ...And if_ _I am a moon_ _, how can a sun dance with a moon?_

-o-o-o-

 _Book 1: Obi's (Back) Story. Chapter 22 part 5_

Obi smiled. "I told you so. Just because Ilena's Family is full of light, that doesn't mean it doesn't have a dark side, too." His smile dropped and he looked at Foster with a common bond. "You can't live through what **we've** all lived through and not have one." Foster nodded agreement. **Obi all of a sudden realized - that is why Mother is a moon, not a sun. She has a dark side, too. A part of him relaxed, having understood that. He wondered briefly if it was as dark as the bright side was ever so bright.**

-o-o-o-

 _Book 2: Princess of Three Countries. Chapter 16_

"I will ask it again. It is my understanding that the **Queen of Night** has personally selected each member of this **House**. Is that correct?"

All three of the Lieutenants nodded. "Haah. I have just recently corrected her on this point. The Messenger made his error out of a lack of understanding because she has protected him by keeping him too long in the darkness, away from her light. Even though all of you chose the darkness of yourselves, you chose to follow her because of her light. You honor him because he tries to reflect her light to you, but he can no longer do that for he has of himself forgotten it. When he has learned it again, he will be able to return, if she allows it. However I don't believe it's right of her to protect those she loves by removing her light from them, and have scolded her for it." Every eye was on him. He scanned the room. **He was right. They were also starving.**

" **For too long, the moon that is Ilena has kept it's dark side to you.** From now on, her name is not Queen of Night, but Queen of Knight. When she has recovered sufficiently to run the roofs again, I'll bring her to you so you may again see her light for yourselves, and she will repent for her error." The room buzzed with electricity in the same way the safe house had when he had said he would bring her to see them. He turned and looked at the remaining Lieutenant, not knowing his eyes had become the eyes of Father.

That man was staring at him, his mouth opened slightly in surprise. Obi thought he saw the beginnings of tears, then the man shook his head, coming to himself. _Even in this place, she can do this_ , he thought to himself, not at all surprised. She had surely only ever shown extreme strength to these Children of hers, yet they were still her Children just as surely.

"I will submit," the Lieutenant finally said, "but I will hold you to that promise." His eyes were fierce.

Obi nodded. "I'll properly scold her again, so that she may understand the pain of all of her Children. Her love and pride in the House has not faded, and she will be glad that my report may be that it still stands strong."

-o-o-o-

 _Book 2: Princess of Three Countries. Chapter 23_

Ilena looked at him and into him. A faint smile played about her lips and her eyes lit with pride for just a moment. "Very well," she said. " **I, Queen of Knight, yield to the Queen's Consort. ...But now you've made me want you very badly, Obi.** "

He grinned a pointed grin at her. "Good." He rose to his feet. "I'm going to go get assassinated."

Ilena nodded, her eyes hungry again. "Make sure you go by the library after you're done. Princess Shirayuki won't remember to come back for lunch either, since they'll hit you both at the same time."

"Got it," he said, and walked away from her. **It was going to be interesting, dancing with this moon, but that suited him too.** He really did hate being bored, and the castle wasn't boring any more, not since Ilena had come.

-o-o-o-

 _Book 3: Regent of Wilant. Chapter 5_

When he was in a position of strength, he asked her calmly, "What is it, Ilena?"

...

Ilena showed some concern in her eyes though she kept her face calm. "Obi, there is a thing I think you do not know. **I do not show the House the new moon of the Queen, and they cannot abide the full moon of Mother.** "

Obi looked at her quizzically. "Because they are the House of the Queen of Knight, I thought that was the face you showed to them?"

Ilena shook her head. " **The new moon is shown to those outside the House of the Queen, but not to those inside.** "

"What do you show to those inside?" It certainly made sense that she would show the harsher side to those who would be the competitors or even enemies of the House.

" **They see the half moon...the Steward.** " Her face was somber. " **Even as Obi is viewed by those of the night as being both fierce and friendly, the House needs this face from Ilena. The Steward is both cold and compassionate. Only in this way can I keep order in the House.** "

-o-o-o-

 _Book 3: Regent of Wilant. Chapter 29_

Obi ended with, _Please take care of my heart, that I not be lost, lest the war be lost_.

Ilena sat up and added. _Please take care of my special someone,_ _ **that the countries not be lost to chaos and the Blood Moon.**_

-o-o-o-

 _Book 4: Lord of Tarc. Chapter 14_

Obi strode through the market, his guards behind him, and his aura was powerful and dark. **He'd not seen the suns in a month and had just drunk of the moon.** In the clans of the Tarc that was an expression for one who no longer had the capacity to reason rationally, but Obi was cold and sober. It was his anger that had been lit in that cold space - that cold anger he had been building up, stoking slowly, with every pain from the Lord of Tarc that had been sent his way adding to it. Tonight was the time to let it burn, but not burn wildly. It would burn carefully controlled until it could be unleashed with precision. There was no room for error in his words and actions tonight, and it would not happen. Not now. **He had been with the moon and she had still been his.** There was no hesitation in him, only strength and resolve.

* * *

 _This series of one-shots for Obi and Ilena, from_ _The Missing Princess_ _series,_ _will be the only place you'll see "Dark Obi", most likely, though he peeks out here and there in the books. I have a lot of Dark Obi (and Dark Ilena too) in my head and need, want, desire a place to put it...so it doesn't go in the books. That's who Dark Obi and Dark Ilena are, after all - the New Moon faces they share, though they don't often show their New Moons at the same time. Not everything here will be dark, though. (I don't think so anyway. The moons constantly turn, after all.)_

 _The stories will be dribbled out over time as the muse hits me._

 _It is likely to be that many will be rated M for either sexual themes or violence._


	2. Little Death (Obi's Scar)

(T)

 **Little Death**

"Hey, Mister Obi, will you spar with me again?" the fresh-faced green kid looked hopeful. He was fresh-faced, he was green, but his eyes carried the same look Obi knew his own had held when he was first on the streets, and he carried himself the same as well. Wary, tense, on-edge, desperate.

"Sure, kid."

-o-o-o-

 _Damn._ The green ones didn't always make it. Now he was laying in the corner the alley floor and the wall of the building made, holding his stomach, his face a mask of pain...already dead. Something wasn't quite right, though.

Carefully, Obi pulled the arms away from the belly of the green kid. No blood. That's what the problem was. No blood anywhere, but a look on the dead kid's face that said a knife had been used to scramble his insides - from the outside.

"Who'd you find, Obi?" One of his regular meets, or Obi would have already had a knife to his throat for coming into the alley that quiet.

"Kid who wouldn't leave me alone." A hand comes down on his shoulder as the other leans over to take a look and move him out of the way a bit for the light to shine down. "He actually had promise."

"I've seen that before."

Obi looked up in surprise. "Where?"

The look on the other's face was grim. "That's the Little Death. He either took too much, or couldn't get more."

Obi stood up, his stomach turning. The look on the other man's face looked about the same. "He didn't need it," Obi said. "He was working on his own strength."

A shake of the head. "Don't know, man. But that's what it looks like."

-o-o-o-

 _Barely scraped up enough on that last job to buy a meal and all I get is swill to drink again._ A light touch on his elbow and he freezes in order to not kill. There's no killing intent attached to those fingers.

" _'scuse me?"_ A timid whisper. _Female? Here?_

Obi looked over and ...down...his arm. The face was full of fear, but the eyes full of determination. ... _And young._ He sighed to himself. The girl was lucky. Obi was approchable by these types - he wasn't going to eat them...or worse - and she'd made it this far. He raised an eyebrow at her, then quickly scanned the room without looking at it. Yeah, she'd already drawn the attention of too many. He scooped her up and set her in his lap and stuck the other half of his roll in her mouth. " _I won't hurt you. Sit still and do what I say, or someone else will,"_ he whispered back. She nodded trustingly. He was surprised. " _Talk._ "

She took the roll in her hand, bit the bite he'd shoved in her mouth, chewed, swallowed, nearly choked. He handed over his mug and she cautiously swallowed just a mouthful to clear her throat. She already knew the swill wasn't to be chugged. She was from the city streets, then, just not the night. He kept eating, waiting for her to get her words together. The room was mostly settling back down, though a few eyes said they'd wait and see what happened when the conversation was done.

"My brother...he said Mister Obi'd been helping him get stronger. That's you, right?" She was trying hard to be brave but he could feel the shivers through the fingers he had clamped firmly on her thin shoulder, feel the fluttering heartbeat against his forearm where it crossed her small back over her heart. Her feet were crossed tightly at the ankle between his legs to keep her balance on his one knee. Her volume had only gone up slightly, still just quiet enough for him to hear. Wasn't too hard since her mouth was just below his ear height as he leaned over the table.

He nodded and kept eating. One always kept eating when there was food in front of you. Never knew when you'd have to leave it suddenly to save your neck. "I haven't seen him in a month. He always comes at least once a week to bring me what he's earned and to make sure I'm still doing okay. I couldn't stand waiting any more." Tears threatened. Obi pushed the roll back towards her mouth. She obediently distracted herself with another bite.

 _She's hungry, not starving. She's getting fed, even if the brother isn't bringing money. That's good. There's a place I can take her back to._ He shoved the last bite of food in his mouth, chugged the swill - because _he_ could. "Right, then. Let's go see, shall we?" he said it loud enough to let the room know she was still his, for now. Those waiting to see what would happen next...most of them let it go. A few eyes followed them out as Obi led the girl by the hand out of the room. Her other hand kept tight hold of the roll, taking another bite as soon as they were out the door. _Not starving, but has before._ It was almost an unthought addition to his analysis of this oddly brave one. He took a few twists and turns as they went to lose the few who'd followed them out, then asked where 'home' was.

Silence.

Obi tipped his head. "I'll get you there. You tell the story on the way. They'll jump you on the way if I don't come with. You won't see me again."

Her head shook at the last one. "I want you to find him for me."

"Okay, you'll see me again, then. Where're we going?"

Reaching up on tiptoe for his ear. He gave a little snort of humor, then bent down so she could whisper the address in his ear. He nodded and got them going, the standard weaving, bravadiccio, don't-follow-me traverse of the nightwalker.

It was the typical siblings-on-the-street story. Parents dead, not wealthy enough to leave much behind for them. No family to speak of. Tossed out of the house. Older brother's responsible and gets the younger sister a decent job as a housemaid, then heads to the streets to get stronger so he can take care of her. Life with parents wasn't easy, life without them isn't either. Life without the older brother, difficult. Obi looked at her soberly. He was pretty sure he didn't want to answer her, and that he already had it. "Describe him." She did. Yeah, he didn't want to answer her.

He detoured their feet to a small patch of city green with a tree. Hard answers were always best given in the comfort of soft green. Crouching down to her level, he held both hands, now that the second wasn't holding the roll anymore because her stomach was. "I did help him. He was doing well, getting stronger. I lost sight of him about that month ago also. Two weeks ago, I found him. I'm sorry, but he's not coming home." He was as gentle as possible in his tone, but on the street you didn't sugar coat death. It happened too often. But, just as when he'd found the boy, something still wasn't sitting right, and it was starting to irritate him. "Did he tell you where or what he was doing next, the last time you saw him?"

She fought the tears to answer him, trying to remember. "He - he said he'd been offered a job with a house and he was going to see if it was worth it and that he'd come back as soon as he could. He thought maybe two weeks this time."

Obi looked at her, then gave a brief nod. His head was filling in a lot of details he didn't like and she likely didn't know. ...Like that should have been 'House' with a capitol 'H'. It obviously hadn't been worth it. If he'd died trying to get to his sister... Obi would think about it later. The tears were spilling over. Obi took her in his arms and let her get his shoulder soaking wet. He'd learned to do that before he was on the street, from another girl who was like this one. Strong until the world pulled the one stake of strength out from under her. So far, Obi was still alive, though, so that one still had her stake. At least, Obi hoped she knew she did. She was still his stake, his reason for living, like this one had been the green kid's reason for living. He probably wouldn't have died.

That's what was sitting wrong. The kid had a reason to live, had been working on his own strength, and both had been stolen from him. Obi went cold hard. He didn't like taking on other people's problems, it got him into trouble, but this was more vendetta. A House was stealing the lives of new kids on the street. As a freelancer, that just wasn't right. Houses that stole the freedom of freelancers needed to be taught a lesson.

-o-o-o-

"Damnit, I told you to refuse to take it if it was offered!" Obi growled at the kid shivering in his arms.

"C-couldn't. Laced the dinner drinks. No smell or flavor." The phrases came out in between wracks of pain. "It'll be worth it. If you get in. Take them down." Obi had sent out the word quiet to all freelancers and this young one had been willing to get in and find out what was going on behind the closed doors of the House. The House wasn't recruiting known faces, old faces. Obi listened carefully to all the intel this one could give him, knowing he was dying in his arms for this.

The House of the Green Dragon (street name). It had plenty of strength of its own inside, but wanted to move, expand, something. It was using the Little Death to make youngsters stay, already had their own addicted to it. When they sent the younger ones out on jobs, they took them off it a day first, then they had to come back or die the second day...or third day... They weren't afraid to abuse the kids, or the drug. If necessary, they'd give everyone maximum dose if the rest of the nightwalkers came after them. Maximum dose was certain death, but also meant they didn't feel pain. They could fight and fight and fight...until their heads were separated from their bodies, or enough limbs cut off they couldn't walk or swing a blade. Massacre was the only outcome of a maximum dose fight - on both side.

-o-o-o-

This was the night. Lots of planning. Lots of voluteers. Freelancers going after a House was hard, only when vendetta and absolute need required it. Hardest part was getting doctors to come help. Essential for this fight. A few Houses had offered their doctors and blades. They had their own vendettas so were willing. That had been a blessing, though often that was two-sided. One of them was actually a surgeon. They might win with enough medical aid on this side. No one on this side was willing to use the Little Death at maximum. Some were already on it, wealthy enough in their skills to afford it daily, but they weren't stupid enough to waste their lives on it.

The signal is given and Obi ghosts forward along with the rest of the line. Up the wall and over. Like most fights, there isn't much thought involved. Just clear head for clear eyes to see the smallest movements and interpret everything quickly as to threat level and let the body do its job defending itself and taking out the target. He's using a knife tonight, not just the throwing daggers. Each dagger thrown takes a life. In an eye and into the brain. Slice the artery at the neck to a spray of blood so the deaths come quick, the blade not wasted. Letting them live with a wound is the same as not having hit them at all.

When it's a vendetta against a House, the whole House is taken down. No one lives. You don't see the sex, the age, you just kill whatever comes against you. It's hard if you think about it, so you don't. You just kill. It's a job. Normally nothing personal, but this time, it is something personal. There's an orphan girl who's still crying herself to sleep at night. There's two boys who had a lot of potential to not stay on the street, that looked up to you, who are sleeping the long death because of _this_ House. There's too much _this_ House will do if left living that it shouldn't be allowed to do. And the death of _this_ House will make all the rest think more than twice about following in their footsteps. It's future security, too, not just past vendetta. This is how the street keeps itself in check. The street polices itself - when it can.

 _Oof!_ That was a rough blow - backhanded. He'd run out of throwing blades and was now in hand-to-hand. If they couldn't win against this house tonight, it would rule the night using the Little Death openly instead of in hiding. It would move up to being one of the Higher Houses - one of the feared Houses the freelancers and most of the rest of the nightwalker Houses couldn't affect. Only another High House could take it down after that. Obi wasn't sure there were enough to care if they moved into this area as a High House. They had to take it down tonight, and that lent strength and power to his attacks, that determination. Then a blow made him mad and the College anger got let loose and he lost his ability to see, think, reason, and everything else except to become the blade. Everything went down before him, even if it took three, five, six blows. He'd remember it later. He never forgot, his reasoning mind just took a vacation.

It wasn't until he took a thunderous blow to his chest that shook him to the bones in his feet that he came back. He staggered back. Just in time, two others lept under the raised blade in front of him with his death engraved on it and the man crumpled instead, two knives from two directions - one in his heart, the other having sliced the throat completely open. He was being grabbed from behind and dragged away, towards the outer wall of the House's compound. He tried to shake off the hands, but they held firm and a hoarse voice said, "You've been targeted. There's an ally who's your enemy. Get out." He was dropped outside a side door.

"Wait!" he grabbed the arm before the man could get away from him. "How's the battle?"

"That was the last one. We're done. Get out." Arm is snatched away and he's gone.

Obi stumbled into the woods to slump down next to a tree. He couldn't believe it. His enemy, here? This was a freelancer battle. Yeah, there were Houses involved, but he'd been sure to make extra sure _that_ House wasn't involved. He sat at the foot of the tree, going back through the fight from the beginning. What faces had been around him? Who had he fought _with_ not _against_? Then the last man, just now...what little blood wasn't draining out of the wound on his chest drained out of his head and went to his feet and he was up and moving.

He'd been fighting against that last one with two others. There'd been a signal and they'd pulled back just as that blow came at him. He'd been relying on them to block it so his killing blow could get through - and they hadn't. The two who had taken that man out hadn't been the same two who'd been helping him to begin with. They'd come running to his rescue from farther away.

"Hey, Obi, should you be moving? That looks awful. Are you okay?" It was one of the women freelancers he fought with on occasional jobs. Lack of blood kept her name from coming to mind.

"Yeah. We defeated them, got the job done, right?" He knew his signature grin was on his lips, but it wasn't in his eyes. His eyes were death still. It look a long time for that look - the College rage - to leave his face any more, since it took a lot to get it to come up to the surface. He was secretly proud he'd finally managed to get it under his control to this extent. No other College probably had. He hated the name - and it was coming for him, had been behind this wound, and was going to make sure it had done its job. He was gone, headed for safety, for hiding. If the Little Death had been the blade behind his current little death, College was behind the long death coming for him. That one he wanted to escape at all costs, even if it meant he received the long death from this little death he was carrying on his chest. He couldn't afford that though...he had to live...he stumbled, recognized the tail he had, but not the who. He could guess, though. Maybe if they thought he had received the long death already, they'd leave him alone. He went ahead and let the stumble turn into a fall, and held deathly still.

The tail was breathing hard. Had been fighting hard with all the rest of them, likely. He stood there and watched a bit, then turned and walked off. Obi sighed in relief to himself, waited until the natural noises in the woods started up again, then hunted for his usual preferred hiding place. He'd have to stay hidden. The tail would bring back the College Obi didn't want to see - his oldest brother who wanted him dead. He'd come to take his head...or fix him up just so he could beat him inches from death...over and over and over again...or just kill him later when it suited him. It didn't matter. He wasn't going to ever be in the hands of, or in the family line of, College again. He wriggled painfully on his belly, his chest searing, his sight fading with the fade that said he'd lost too much blood, until he was under a thicket bush.

Obi hugged his chest, laying on his back instead of his belly, hoping it would keep just enough blood in his body to stay alive. He had to stay alive. The warm arms that wrapped around him whenever he was hiding in the bushes to escape the beatings still needed him, like he needed them. How he wished that just this once, he could really feel those arms again, holding him, letting him know that he would be okay, that he could face one more day again. He'd tell her...he'd tell her...

-o-o-o-

His chest burning brought him pain, though not awareness. He was being handled, but there was no noise, and he couldn't move anyway. It didn't feel like hands of death, but there was urgency. He slipped away. There wan't anything to do anyway.

Arms were around him, holding him tightly. Her warmth. Faintly, her voice, breaking with tears. "Wellesley. Live. Live for me. Please." _Don't cry. I'll live. I'll live for you. Always._

-o-o-o-

Birds were chirping, some small creature scuttling through leaves and undergrowth. His breath came in short gasps. He took a larger breath. Pain! _Gah. Short gasps it is_. But that let him know that the arms around him were still there. He reached a careful slow hand up to touch his chest, but there wasn't a body there, just his own. His fingers gently brushed the 'arms' holding him. It was bandaging. His chest wound was bandanged. He was sure his heart had been scratched by the blade it suddenly hurt so. Hot tears dripped down his face. It may only be a bandage, but there's only one person in the entire world who knows how to find him when he hides like this. She is still holding him. She is still protecting him from the House College, while he is still leaving her behind to live there - in hell, in her own Little Death.

What had he promised her? What had she asked? ' _Live. Live for me,'_ and he'd promised, ' _I'll live for you. Always.'_ He groaned. Why? Why did she still want him to live? He'd left her in hell. She should hate him. If he was going to keep his promise, he couldn't stay here in the north any more. His brother had found him this time, had known it was him. As long as he thought his little brother was dead, here in the north, he could live. He'd have to go south. Soon...soon he might have the strength and ability to go and get her...maybe... His heart hurt again. His fear of his brother always tried to drown out his desire to get her. If she was still alive, really still alive, his brother was keeping her alive, wasn't killing her...she'd be okay, until Obi could come and -

No. It didn't work that way. She always came for him. She'd come and wrapped her arms around him and left a bandaged wound behind, not staying with him. It wasn't time. She'd come get him, like always, and he would't go with her until he was strong enough. They both knew it. It wasn't time yet.

Obi listened carefully, then painfully wriggled his way out of his hiding place and began a long, slow, painful treck south. He'd go to the capital - to Wistal. He knew nightrunning. That city was certainly big enough for another nightrunner to hide in, find plenty of work in. He'd always wanted to be a cabin boy and sail the sea, too, just enough to understand how the ships worked and watch the water go by from up high. By the time he made it, he'd be healed sufficiently to work, too. It would take honest work and begging to get there, but he'd done plenty of that, too, in his time already. He could charm farmwives just as easily as ladies of lords. He'd learned that as part of his ability to survive. His charming smile was as automatic and learned as his ability to defend himself without realizing he'd done it. It all had to be. It all had to erase how automatic the anger was. The anger was no longer the first thing that came out...it was the last.

But as he walked, he left his heart behind. He didn't want to be this far from her. He really didn't. He wanted to run back to her, have her in his arms again. ...It was many days before he was willing to let the arms she had left behind be changed. They were the only thing keeping him going - that bandaging - her surrogate arms. She was his Little Death. As long as he didn't have her, he was dead, no matter what mask he wore. It was very painful, the withdrawal of knowing she'd been with him again, even for that brief time he'd been unaware of the world. But he didn't die. He lived. He lived for her. She'd come back to make sure he did, and he'd promised.

* * *

 _So it's for stories like this that I made this collection/story/thread. I want to get these stories within the story told also. I'll probably put out a few Izana-Ilena and maybe a Kiki-Mitsuhide here sometime down the road as well. And there's a Ryuu-Ilena that needs to be told, too, though that's way down the road since you guys don't have enough background for it yet. If I run out of ideas, I'll be nice and give the Shirayuki-Zen fans a few, too...maybe. (Oh, I'm an awful tease. Shame on me.)_

 _At JadeKazanari: If I answer that, will you make your excuses and fade away, or pop another bowl of popcorn? ;-) I knew you were going to ask that question as I put chap 1 together. I've been teasing you a while now. If you ask real nice, I'll tell you...everything...but you have to stick with me. (Sorry.)_

 _[Hmm...I seem to be a little like the waning crescent today...a little too S. It made the mood right to write this chap though.]_


	3. Ravens Wings

(M)

 **Raven's Wings**

 _"Obi. Obi."_ Quiet, desperate pleading. His eyes open.

She shifts, moves, _whimpers_. He rolls over, his warm back leaving her warm back, to look over his shoulder. She is reaching, her fingers curling, like a kitten seeking it's mother's belly. His desire stirs and clouds appear on their horizon, her reaching hands conjuring them. He rolls more until his bare chest is against her smooth back, eliciting a _light gasp_ , and his arms gently enfold her.

A _intake of breath_ as his hand brushes down her chest to her belly. The hand attached to the arm under her lightly rubs her breast and shoulder where it can reach and as he rubs a circle around her belly with his free hand she moans again and begins to breathe through her mouth in small gasps. He pulls her closer and kisses her shoulder and his hand seeks wet warm folds and she _moans_ , begging with her body that is already awake, desirous, _wanting_ , though her mind is likely still sleeping, lost, dreaming.

He pleases himself, pleasing the light needs of her body, carressing, teasing, eliciting more of the _moans_ until they turn into _groans_ of pleasure. The storm clouds have rolled closer to her steep cliffs of their shore, making the waves of his sea begin to rise higher and his own heart _thumps_ harder in anticipation. He knows she is aware now, but focused on what his hands and fingers are doing to her own body. Her breathing he knows so well tells him that she is caught in his talons, his prey, and her heart beats are rapid, easy to feel where his arm has her trapped to his chest. She answers to his initial quiet demands and he is pleased, but it isn't enough.

She lays limp, and he rises on his elbow and the first of the rain comes from the storm as he nips at her ear. She shudders with an intake of breath. He moves to taste her neck, to nibble, and her breaths come fast again. He can tell she is supressing a moan and it makes him want to hear it. He moves down her neck to the join with the shoulder, digging his tongue in until she is gasping. It isn't enough...the electricity is building and needs release. He moves to her shoulder and _bites_ \- never enough to break the skin - _lightning_ \- and she cries out a light gasping cry that ends with another light _moan - distant thunder_. Her heart is beating more rapidly now, her anticipation building again, and her body moves against his, demanding more attention.

His hand, resting on her belly, pulls her closer to him and she moans again. The storm is making the sea waves begin to swell against the rocky cliff, but he withholds, wanting it to be more. It's just the beginning of the storm. It isn't enough. He pulls and she _mewl's_. He bites, nips, and _pulls_ and the kitten mewls, _begs_. He does not relent until the waves crashing on the craigs splash high enough to darken the entire surface wetly and the dark storm rages, then he takes her and her cries are the thunder to his lightning. His darkness throbs and thrums and _takes_ her. His claws _rake_ (never to leave marks), and she _accepts - takes - moves_ obediently to his demands. His waves crash, her cliff withstands, until the storm abates, lessens, disperses.

He trails his fingers on her body, her smooth skin. Her shudders and a few remaining moans escape her, the length between getting longer, the thunder from the storm growing more distant, until she captures his hand, bringing it to her mouth to lightly _kiss each finger_ , _the palm_.

He wraps his raven wings around her, enveloping her and she turns into his chest, burrowing, seeking, taking _comfort_ in his darkness. He holds this precious, special, unafraid person - _his!_ Gods, he loves this woman who seeks, begs, _demands_ for his darkness. As they both slip back into sleep, only the constant surge of the sea on the cliff face left in motion, he is content, safe, _unafraid - willingly captured._

* * *

 _Author's Notes: This occurs late in_ _Book 2: Princess of Three Countries_ _, after Obi and Ilena are allowed to claim each other. You can put it wherever you want after that. It happens often. This should be as explicit as it gets, for reference._

 _...If you've ever wondered what kind of bird Obi is compared to the raptors of the Wisterias...now you know._

 _The point at the end is that Obi has been so afraid of his own darkness for so long that to have her accept it, not be afraid of it, and desire it with the proper restraints for the both of them, and have the strength to withstand it, frees him. (A bit of a nod to_ _From Far Away_ _. I think Obi and Izark are very similar. Obi's the extrovert of the pair, though. Hmm...might do a one-shot crossover, actually. That'd be fun.)_

 _Ah, I traded orders of chapters and posted the story of Obi's scar as chapter 2 instead of this one, after I wrote it. So if you were here when this was chap 2, go back and read the new chap 2. It isn't smut. It's grit._


	4. Angels Wings

(T)

 **Angel's Wings**

Ilena

She's wandering the gardens again. Can't remember what drew her here, why she came... _when_ she came. When she realizes it, she also realizes _where_ she's staring. With a start, she looks guiltily around, then turns and walks away. Even if _he's_ not here, she won't give it, or him, away. The place calls to her, though. This isn't the first time. She's only free to walk under the sky for a short while, but there isn't anything _there_ for her. Only empty arms that swing by her sides as she walks. She looks for, listens for, anyone who is crying. Her arms can still hold someone...even though the empty ache won't leave, it will work for a tiny bit of time...be a distraction.

-o-o-o-

Dull, aching pain. Darkness. She shivers, whimpers. ...A hand covers hers with warmth. "You're not alone." Suddenly she's aware, her heart is hammering in her chest, her breathing hard and ragged, like she's been running. "Ah, sorry. That was too abrupt. I'll try something else next time." Wellesley...no Obi.

"Please." It's hard to get the word out around the fear. Once she's breathed a few more times and calmed down, "Thank you." He moves back to the other bed. She's left with empty arms again, but she can't ask to have them filled. He pushed himself to just do that much...because he understands. For now, it's enough. It has to be. Tears follow her back into sleep, but she keeps them silent, keeps them from changing her breathing. She knows he listens to the breaths she takes. He interrupted the regular, reoccurring dream early. She's grateful. _Bittersweet_.

-o-o-o-

Empty garden thicket. Darkness. Stuffy, closed in darkness. Her breathing comes in gasps, except she can't breathe. That wakes her up, the body demanding real air. It always does. The nightmares are brief, except the ones that include the beating (but those are rare), because of the claustrophobic requirement for air.

Odd. Tonight, it's still hard to breathe. There's a strange weight on her chest. Ilena reaches up and feels, then holds still in shock. It's an _arm_. The only smell in the room, other than her, is Obi. _Obi's_ holding her? _In_ _her_ bed? He's rousing, her change in breathing and her touch has likely done it.

She pretends to settle back into sleep, the initial movement disguised by a mere shifting again of the arm. He slips back into sleep, or he wakes up and holds still, hoping she really is still sleeping, she can't tell. He's as good as her at this game. Eventually she gives up and really is back to sleep - sooner than she would have been. It was hard to lay still, though. He was _sooo_ close. It helped that she was held down by _his_ arm.

-o-o-o-

Cool air across her face. The smell of outside, drink, and Obi. Her arms ache again. He's so close, yet so far. He only comes in her room from outside when he's been to town (drink) or riding (horse). She doesn't need to be jealous tonight. When it's 'horse' she is. "Welcome back."

"Thanks."

Would that be opposite most women? "When you drink, do you let other women hold you?"

He freezes, half-way to the settee, still next to her bed. "Nooo...?" She giggles in relief. His sudden caution, bordering on fear, mixed with complete surprise and trepidation has told her all she needed to know. "Whhyy-y?" He's recovering at the giggle, thinking she's teasing now, maybe.

"I was just thinking...I'm probably odd. I get jealous when you come in from riding Ferier, but am relieved when it's just drink. It's backwards, don't you think?"

He stays still, thinking. When he moves quietly on towards the settee, she _knows_ he's figured it out. "Yeah, I guess it would be, for most women." His voice is light...too light. Her empty arms ache. She holds herself, again. It's too obvious when she holds the pillow, and she's not allowed to call for Rio anymore, not since _he's_ taken up residence in _her_ settee. Maybe she'll call anyway... _next time_.

-o-o-o-

Dull, aching pain. Darkness. She shivers, whimpers. ...There is movement next to her and quiet arms take her and hold her, waiting for her to come up to reality without forcing it. A kiss follows, on her forehead. Breath, warm, on her face. Smells of Obi, rather than the sick room - which were the same as the smells in the coffin box. She takes deep breaths to trade out the smells - the one in her memory and the one in reality. She wishes he would hum. Her hand comes up to take his shirt...oh, no shirt, then to feel his heartbeat, palm on chest, the scar a faint ripple under her skin. He pets her hair, sleepily and gives another kiss.

She loves being awakened in his comforting arms when she's had her nightmare, and she slips back to sleep...only to be awakened again some number of hours later. It's his turn now to have his nightmare. Her arm slips gently around his shoulder to hold him close to her. "I'm here." She holds him close. He burrows into her shoulder and his arm pulls her closer, holding her tightly, as if he's missed her for many years. She understands. She's been waiting just as many for him to be here, too - for _full_ arms.

-o-o-o-

Obi

Dark. Chill, hard pavement. Thin blankets didn't help much as northern winters set in. He'd have to earn a thick one, or a place in a House for at least the winter - not. He'd take a thin blanket over that. Wishing he could have real warmth, only the warmth of memories was available. At least he had those. Most didn't. He knew that. He'd been lucky to have earned...been given...that gift. Not _earned_. He had no idea _why_ that gift was his. It just was. He used it this night, like so many other nights since he'd been 'free'. He mentally wrapped those warm arms around him, felt the presence of _her_ , buried his head into his knees, imagining it was _her_ shoulders, once again. Sleep came...eventually.

-o-o-o-

Dark. Running. Leaping. Killing. _Damn...it's this dream again._ They'd all be the same, but this one...already held the anticipation of the fear of the end. That always told him it was _this_ dream. It was the only battle of its kind he'd left afraid. He fought it, trying to rise up out of it, even managing to get a sound out, rather like, 'grgh'.

"Obi, Obi it's okay. I'm here. You're not alone." Soothingly said, just loud enough to cut into the dream.

He grabbed the anchor. It was enough to pull him up faster. He took a shuddering breath, then another, skimming past the part where he gets slammed in the chest with a sword that rocked him to the core. Jumping scenes past everything until he's under the bush. He pauses there. ' _Wellesley. Live. Live for me. Please.'_ He jumps scenes, not wanting to remember the next part, because the voices were the same. The past one from the dream, the current one that anchored him. He leaves the dream, knowing he was bandaged. He can feel the familiar unfamiliar bed under him, the wall pressing against the back of his hand where it's flug out.

"Are you okay, Obi?" His new 'partner's' voice is concerned, gentle - coming from the bed on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, thanks." He tries to make it not too sour. This is the one support he won't make fun of or reject, won't deny her either. They both lived in hell together, even if he doesn't trust her she does understand. He takes a deep breath, twice, to get his heart calmed down. "Thanks," he says again, one more time softly. This time...it's for what happened before.

"Always," she answers, meaning it. She understands. Living in darkness, living in hell, was so much easier when there was someone to share it with. She might even know exactly what he was really thanking her for. The sour returns. She reads his mind all the time, after all. They keep each other company for a while. He's not sure which one gave up first to slip back into sleep before the other. Maybe they went together. They don't talk about it the next day, or ever.

-o-o-o-

Run. Jump. Fall in a ground-eating landing, roll, run. Breathe. Searching... _for what_? A wall - running up the wall and over. Fighting. Terror looms, but this time, the sword isn't headed for _his_ chest, but for _hers_. His muscles tense and there is faint movement under ...in? on? his arms that pulls him up enough to consider he might be dreaming again. Enough to smell a scent that doesn't go with the scene. Enough to feel a tickle on his nose. Which pulls him up enough to feel the rising and falling of his arm, and the warmth under his arm, that lifts his arm and makes it fall. He listens to the dark...not the dream. Soft sleeping breaths. Safe, living. Still with him. _Her_. He drifts off again...but the ache of the lack of arms around him goes with him, as does the warmth in his arms. _Bittersweet_.

-o-o-o-

Dark. Running. Leaping. Killing. _Damn...not again. Not again!_ He wrenches himself up and out of the nightmare that still to this day haunts him. But now he's disoriented. Where is he? Ears first when it's dark. Don't move or make a sound or change your breathing...if you remember what your breathing pattern was. _Listen_ first to stay alive. Soft breaths, regular, sleeping breaths behind him. Nothing else.

 _Feel_ second. Soft pillows, square. On a soft surface, but not a bed. Couch or settee. Then, he's in the castle. _A_ castle anyway. Did Master let him spend the night this time? So many nights coming up from this nightmare means lonely silence and sleeplessness for the rest of the night...only staying put because he can remember at the end there were surrogate arms around him and _she'd_ been there.

 _She_. No, he remembers now. This is _her_ settee, though she's given it to him, because she understands. It's one of his first nights in it, so he's disoriented, forgotten, lost. But her breaths remind him...he's found, remembered, wanted ( _confused_ ). He falls asleep again, lulled by soft breaths, but still wishing for the warmth of arms he's not allowed to ask for...not yet.

-o-o-o-

Dark. Running. Leaping. Killing. _Damn..._ -

A warm arm slips around his shoulders, splitting his awareness between the dream and reality. It tightens briefly. "I'm here." Murmured, mostly still asleep words. He burrows his head into warm shoulders, his own arm pulling her close. Warmth. Angel arms, really here, really warm, really his. Always. Forever. He wants to weep in relief, but slips into sleep instead, never really awake to begin with.

* * *

-O_O-

 _If Obi ever had a major dream he wanted to have fulfilled by Ilena, this would be it, though if he'd been asked he would have claimed it was a minor, or at best a medium, dream. Almost all the other dreams she fulfilled for him were truly minor or medium ones. This one though..._

 _Hmm...you think Ilena, too? *wink*_


	5. Dane's Story

(M - abuse content, not overly graphic I hope)

 **DANE'S STORY  
** **(Unabridged)**

 _God's this hurts! Why did I do it? Why didn't I listen to my brother? Let him help me?_ The litany is too cliché, but it hurts so bad that only the truth bubbles to the surface. The truth of the guilt, the despair, the heartache, the pain of the darkness he's fallen into. Every night now, for the last two weeks, months, or millennia, he's had to live this pain. A pain he never would have known was possible.

Dane of Wexford, second son to the Earl Malkin of Wexford, had lived a life of privilege, sheltered by a warm mother who had died of weakness, a southern flower unable to live in the cold of the north, though her husband had tried his hardest to shelter her. His father was stern but loving, gentle when necessary, but confused about how to raise up boys by himself. He'd fallen into despair himself after Dane's mother's death, often wandering at night around the grounds of the earldom, going missing until dawn. The steward had been driven to near-despair himself until a day came that the Earl had come home, sat in his office for the rest of the night, then calmly, humbly, begun working again. The steward had been so relieved that he'd been soft in getting the Earl back into the full effort of running the Earldom again until the Earl was strong once again. Earl Malkin had been a lot more gentle after that, too - on himself, the staff, and the boys.

That was okay, but Dane still was lacking in direction. Hurting that his mother was gone while he was still too young to have a mother missing from his life. Hurting that his older brother seemed to be able to just get on with his life, taking up the duties his father couldn't handle while the older Malkin grieved, then staying under his tutelage as the heir. Dane had been left with too much time on his hands and not anywhere near enough attention for a bright son with plenty of energy and emotions he didn't know how to deal with. Earl Malkin had given him into the hands of the same tutors the heir, Tairn, had had, and the marshal had spent many hours of each day getting Dane trained in swordsmanship and self-defense, both to give him an outlet for his pain and frustration, and to tire him out enough to focus on his studies. Again, a typical second son, in a typical noble family. Cliché.

Somehow, all of that led to Dane drifting, cliché style again (though no one really understands why it's so), to companions that weren't friends, who would rather use him for his position and assumed wealth, but who filled that need for companionship nonetheless. With the teenage irritation that wants to lash out at everything around them because of the internal lashing they are giving themselves for their own inadequacies and insecurities, Dane joined in with them on their raids, bullying, and destructive behaviors (self and otherwise). It helped that Tairn started taking more of an interest in him when he noticed it, and that his father tried to give him constructive requirements, but he was like a moth drawn to flame. They'd come back and entice him and he'd again go running with them.

Dane did learn how to live the streets then. How to hide in the shadows, how to walk as if he wasn't predator when he was observing his prey, how to be the friendly face that was the distraction for the others to do the deed of the day, never giving away he was accomplice. He learned to recognize the obvious nightwalkers and how to stay away from them, or communicate with them so he was left alone, but he didn't delve too deeply into that part. He did start getting worried when some of his companions did, though. He spent even less time with them then, not wanting to drag his family name down with them. He did respect his father after all, and didn't want to cause too much trouble for his brother. That was the one requirement of a second son he _should_ be able to do, after all.

All he could figure was that had made them mad. Angry that he wouldn't continue to walk the darker path with them. After all, this was so much pain and darkness, only someone angry could want it to happen to someone they knew from childhood, right? As today's pain released him and the tears followed, the rest of the cliché thoughts came with them. _What sorrow and disgrace have I brought upon my father and brother? How can I ever face them again? I hope they don't give into any demands. I'm not worth it. I'm so, so sorry. God, please don't let this disgrace the family, or even worse, take the Earlship from Father. He's worked so hard and all the servants and landholders adore him and work hard for him. If I have to take the full price, please let me. Don't make them pay for this._

Dane hated the nights almost as much as the days. There wasn't pain anymore - at least not the pain of the body. As a matter of fact, he could spar with the other young men and not feel the blows that would prove to be hard enough to raise welts and deep bruises later. The other young men seemed to revel in the amount of a beating they could take and weren't afraid to dish it out. Dane preferred to increase his strength against them by seeing if he could actually defend himself against the stronger blows, and he was getting better at _preventing_ the blows from meeting their mark, and then hitting harder back as if the blow had made it so they'd leave him alone.

He was allowed to practice, move about the courtyard outside the barrack-like quarters they were housed in, but he wasn't allowed to go on raids. They didn't want to lose him, the bait, the hostage. He heard about the raids when everyone got back, though. Bragging was the favorite past time as always. It was _frustrating_ that life was the dark side of _cliché_ and that he was stuck in it - an endless hell he couldn't get out of. He already knew he'd die if he tried to escape. Not because they would come hunting, though they would, but because they'd stand over him and laugh as he died of the pain of withdrawal from the Little Death they laced his food or drink with.

The first thing they'd let him see after they'd given it to him the first time, when he'd lived through the little death himself the first time to know just how painful and terrible it was, was what happened when you didn't take it. The other one had been a kid who wasn't strong enough, was the runt of the pack. He'd done something to warrant punishment, in their eyes, and they withheld both food and drink, for two days. Each succeeding day, the boy's pain had increased until he'd finally died of an overdose of pain. Dane was already on one day of refusing to eat or drink by then. He'd decided at that time, he'd wait it out and see. Stay on the drug for now.

He knew they were negotiating with his father for who knows what, and that his father would eventually pay, being that kind of man. He hated himself for it, but he didn't want his father to go through for him what he'd gone through over his mother. It would be better to go home and be on house arrest than to put his father through that grief again. Or even to be banished. He'd been 'promised' once his father paid, he'd be weaned off the drug and let go home. He had the niggling suspicion that was a lie also. Either they weren't going to let him go really...or it wasn't possible. It was continue to take the drug or die. That one thought, he didn't want to think. Not yet. But the during the pain payment phase... sometimes he wished...almost wished...

Today, they'd been given the drug, as usual, in the pre-dawn meal, but Dane had been segregated, out into a garden shed to sleep the little death and the pain payment. He almost didn't care, but he did hope it was because his release was being negotiated. Sometimes it happened because someone who believed in law was coming to inspect the grounds or visit with the Head of the House, or another Head of a House was coming to negotiate and the Head of this one didn't want his 'prize' known. When he was in the shed, he was locked in so that he couldn't escape if he got up early. He'd tried the first time, just to see if he could. The lock was pickable - he'd learned that skill thinking that was at least one useful tool of the nightwalkers. Doing it was unwise he learned that first time and he'd promptly given up and gone back to sleeping, which the drug demanded anyway.

As he entered the lucid phase today, which usually didn't last long, he heard and smelled new things. Screams and smoke, crackling and heat. He looked around. Flames were breaking through the wall of the shed closest to the house and the room was very hot. Dane quickly sat up and looked at the door. It was awfully close to those flames coming his way, but he was over there quickly, pulling out the lockpick tools and working feverishly at the lock. He didn't have much time - because of the short lucid phase, not the fire, though it would be a race which one would overtake him first. He tried very hard to ignore the sounds of the fire crackling as it ate the wall, ignore the rising heat that was turning his exposed skin red and soaking the rest of him in sweat. Already he wasn't feeling as much pain as he could have been, though that effect was at the peak after the real sleep phase.

He managed to get the door lock unpicked and blistered his hand on the knob as he pulled the door open. He stumbled out, coughing the smoke out of his lungs, staying low and turned away from the main house. He was almost to the back pond and trees when he was suddenly grabbed from behind and his forward motion accelerated.

"Run!" It was urgently whispered. He'd have fought except for that word. He ran. There was an explosion about the distance of the main house, then an other one from the distance of the barracks. There was one other sound that it took a while to get a hold of in his brain. By the time he and the person with him were outside the back wall of the compound, he finally realized what it was. Silence. The fires were noisy, but there were no sounds of people. None. He kept his own personal sounds just as silent. It was the silence of the predator hunting the prey.

It was not hard to guess that he counted as prey today. This was a raid, and it had come to the House he'd been taken by, and they were nearly gone, if not gone, already. His heart despaired. He might be alive, someone might be helping him escape, but he had no idea how he was going to survive after two days from today. It was going to be a short life to be rescued into. Maybe he could at least apologize to his family during it. That would be sufficient. He ran.

The running continued until the person with him stopped, slipping them under a bush, then pulling him with until they were well hidden. He could finally turn his head to see his helper as they rested. His adrenaline had kept him awake this long, but he didn't know for how much longer he could fight the sleep requirement of the Little Death. When he looked, he stopped and stared. He was looking into dark tawny eyes and a face that was as cold and hard as he'd ever seen. He'd been rescued by death herself and his brain couldn't understand it. "You may as well kill me now. I'm headed for the sleep phase of the Little Death. I don't know how much I'm on. You'll kill me now, the Little Death will kill me in two days. Either way it's the same."

"No, it's not." Dane was surprised at her answer. "When you come to, you'll tell them the Missus found you and you'll keep your mouth shut otherwise. Answer only what you have to, short and honest, except for who you are and where you came from. That's the only answer you'll give for that. Understand? Repeat it back to me." She was urgent.

Dane swallowed, the surprise blocking his throat. "The - the Missus found me."

She nodded. "Sleep." She closed his eyes with her hand and he took a deep breath, then two more, each slower than the last and the drug claimed his body and mind again. One didn't disobey the Queen of Night, even if you were in the depths of despair. Dane had been rescued from one night House and taken by the worst one. He wasn't going home...ever.

-o-o-o-

It was evening when Dane woke up. He was in the bottom of a moving wagon. He clenched his hands and felt bandaging wrapped around them. They didn't hurt, but a burn of the sort he'd gotten, even if blistered, wouldn't hurt now that the Little Death's effect of cutting the pain had kicked in. He'd have to be careful to not exacerbate the wounds. It felt like his face was also poulticed and wrapped where the flame had gotten too close to him there also. He was wedged in, other warm bodies around him. He carefully opened his eyes to slits, then gave up and just opened them. He was taken by a night House. It wouldn't fool them that he was awake.

The wagon had medium high sides and was covered over the top with a flat cloth. Everyone inside the dark space was silent. Many were bandaged to some degree, but not all. It was dark enough he couldn't see details, but he could see that much. At the far end were people sitting up, keep watch with their ears, weapons in hand. Dane wasn't sure if that was to keep people like him silent or for external protection. Eyes were on him, here and there. His breathing had changed after all when he woke up, but he stayed quiet and most settled. Most ignored him after that, but there were a few who looked at him curiously.

He lay there until restless, then he cautiously sat up, keeping quiet. That drew eyes again, but only briefly. Eventually the feel of the road changed from hard surface to lane as the wagon turned. Dane rested his chest against his raised knees, letting his burned hands rest in front of him loosely, and closed his eyes. He didn't know anything, really, but he'd heard the scary stories nightwalkers told themselves as entertainment, after all that always followed the bragging. The things that scared normal people made nightwalkers laugh and scoff. The things that scared nightwalkers would make normal people faint. Dane wasn't fond of either, really, and now he was headed for one of the latter.

The stories went that if you saw the Queen of Night, death was yours within a day. If she talked to you, your soul was her's when death did take you. If she took you, you were never seen again. The rumors varied from she ate you to she used you for her magic rituals to she took you to hell alive. Dane had no idea how many in this wagon were hers and how many were like him, taken by her, but he couldn't believe that anything good was going to come of it. He'd make a run for it, if he could, since he wanted to use his last two days of life to get to his father and tell him he was sorry, then lose himself in the woods near his home to die away from his father so he wouldn't have to watch it. He didn't want to waste it in the Queen's Hell.

The wagon finally came to a halt. There were the sounds of men talking, then it lurched again, this time only going a short distance before stopping again. The wagon shifted and creaked as the men driving it got down off the seat outside. The men at the far end near the gate shifted, getting ready. Dane heard the latches being undone and shifted himself. Before he could go anywhere, an arm snaked around his neck. It was loose enough to not be all that threatening, but it was firmly not going anywhere, which was more threatening. He held still. He was being held by death Herself, her firm breasts against his back making that very obvious. Her arm was all lean muscle, and he knew instinctively it would snap his neck before he so much as tensed.

As the noise of men climbing out of the wagon picked up, quietly she said in his ear. "You need to live. Don't run. Your Dad will wait. If you run, I can't keep you alive. I've promised him and your brother. You'll get back there. Be patient."

Dane very slowly turned his head to look at her, her black hair brushing his cheek as he moved. His eyes were wide. When they looked into her tawny ones, he saw compassion and truth. It was completely counter to the hard face that said nothing. Dane blinked and swallowed carefully, then gave a bare nod. It wasn't her words so much. It was that she knew who he was. The House he had come from had kept him secret, wanting what his title and name had to offer, but the Witch knew him, had personally helped him escape. She slowly released him and watched him. He consciously relaxed and watched her. She rose, lithe and smooth and moved past him to leap out of the back of the wagon.

"Hey, move it!" another man was waving him out and scowling at him. Dane rose, still stunned, and made his way to the back of the wagon and hopped out. He was shoved towards the house and fell in line to follow the other men and the woman into the house, winding up in a dining room where he quietly took a seat between other men. He ate that meal as if in a dream, his head spinning. Wondering why no one cared or asked him what he was doing there. Wondered at how 'normal' this hell was so far. When food had been shoved down his mouth then shoved by his throat down to his stomach until he couldn't force any more down, he finally worked up the courage to look around.

The tables were set up like a barracks (yet again) and men were in various stages of finishing up eating, like Dane. Also like Dane and those with him in the wagon, a good portion of them were sporting bandaged wounds. There were three times or more as many people at the tables than had been with him in the wagon. At least twice as many as had been in the House he had been in before. He swallowed. There was no way that House would have survived the numbers. The men ate in silence and the cold ruthlessness coming off them sent chills up his spine.

There was a scraping of a chair to Dane's right and he turned and looked that way, without looking - in the nightwalker's way, subconsciously using it in this place. A large, burly man had stood. He was facing the rest of the men and it looked like his table might be a head table. He was carefully looking up and down the tables at each of his men, studying them. Dane swallowed and reached for his cup, though he just put his hand around it, looking at it. There was the sound of the firm clops of boots on the stone floor, getting louder. Dane tried not to sweat too much, but he couldn't stop the shivers. His breath increased and his heart beat faster. He'd not heard at all that the Master of Hell would be where the Queen was. Though...his heart fell...it only stood to reason. The footsteps stopped in front of him and his posture fell with his heart. There was no escaping it.

"And you are?"

Dane swallowed and cleared his throat. "The Missus found me."

"Look at me." It was a rather calm order. Dane raised his head and looked up into the eyes of the man standing on the opposite side of the table, not even seeing the man sitting across from him. He was judged for a long moment, as if the man standing there was memorizing Dane's face. His dark eyes were like the Queen's but darker, his face harder, but full of more chaos and pride. "Ilena," the man roared, though it sounded more like his normal parade ground voice than an angry bellow, "I don't want him. Why'd you bring him?"

"He's for the household. He can fight well enough to protect the house and I need someone to replace Manny...unless you really want to saddle your own horse, My Lord." It was simultaneously respectful and mocking, though very calmly stated.

The Lord of the house scowled. "They were all supposed to die," he growled.

"He's not of that House. He was a prisoner."

A raised eyebrow looked back at Dane. He swallowed and nodded. "What'd they want with you?"

"Extortion."

"Were they getting it?"

"No, or they did and didn't tell me. I wasn't leaving alive either way."

"Why not?" the suspicion darkened the dark face further.

"They put me on the Little Death." He couldn't keep the pain out of his voice.

The Lord scoffed and turned away, lifting a hand in dismissal. "He's yours," the Lord called up to the Queen, Ilena he'd called her. The firm footsteps faded as the man returned to the head of the room and walked out, followed by two guards. When enough time had passed that the Lord would not hear what happened in the hall, Miss Ilena stood. She also had been at the head table, but it looked like no one else had been. Dane noticed that every head turned to look at her, and every back had relaxed. That surprised him. Not that they were all afraid of the Lord, but that they weren't anything more than wary of Miss Ilena.

Dane stared at her. She was barely older than he was, now that he could see her properly. Maybe by five years, but that was all. Her cold, hard face was unchanged and her arms were folded as she scanned the room. "Good job," she said. "The goals were accomplished and you've all lived to see another day. Thank you." Her eyes sought and found a man in the crowd. "Petrus, see Dane learns the ropes. He's on a reverse schedule from us. Make sure Doc knows and that he doesn't know his dose. Once he's on a day schedule he's to be seen in the stables by the Earl at least three times, four if we can manage it." She stared at Petrus until she heard an answer.

"Yes, Missus Ilena."

Missus Ilena nodded. "Once you've taken him to get checked out, bring him up to my office for tonight. He's not sleeping for a while, since he just woke up. He can keep me company while I work the books."

"Yes, Missus Ilena."

Ilena turned away from the table and walked through the same door the Head of the House had. Chairs scraped and men rose, collecting dishes and carrying them to the door closer to Dane. He assumed it was the kitchen. A younger man showed up, dishes in hand, in front of Dane. "Petrus," the man nodded at him.

"Dane," he answered with a nod.

"Collect those up. We wash our own, last meal. Follow me and you'll get it quick." Dane obediently stood and picked up his dishes. Men were already coming out of the kitchen, wet dishrags in hand. Dane followed, but he watched as those men headed for one table each and began to wipe them down. Other men came behind them and set the chairs upside down on the cleaned tables. As he was to enter the kitchen, they paused for two more carrying brooms. He was having troubles, but he kept quiet. Just by watching he was understanding what to do, at least. "Is it assigned, or just who gets done first with washing dishes?" he did ask.

"The latter," came the short answer. "Other chores's worse to them. We all take somethin'. If somethin' gets missed we get the scolding, so we's trades around the worst of 'em."

There weren't any servants in the kitchen when they reached the sinks. "Are there _any_ servants?" he finally had to ask.

"A few. The cook. Her secretary. Such like. She's House Steward." Petrus was terse, but seemed friendly enough. "And Doc." Petrus shook his now clean dishes of excess water and moved to dry them. Dane followed him, picking up a towel that had just been set down. He followed Petrus to put the dishes in their proper location.

The tour of the house was just as terse. "Don't go here," as they turned away from the stairs and didn't go up, but it got a wave. "Don't mess with the servants or she'll kill you," a wave down the hall the opposite direction from the kitchen and dining hall. "Come outside," as they walked out the back door to the manor gardens. They walked a bit until he could see all the outbuildings. A finger pointed, starting up at the front where the stables were set to the side of the manor house. "Stables. Gardener's place. Where we all sleep. You'll join us in about a week, I'd think." There was a pause, then the finger trembled as it turned to point to the last building, a narrow rectangular one story with no windows, about three times the size of the gardener's house, so not too big. "Don't ever let yer'self get in that one. If the Earl comes at you angry enough to beat you, you end up in there. Some don't come out alive."

Petrus's hand snapped down and he turned away from the buildings and headed back into the house. "It's not a bad place to work for, other than that, if you like being part of a strong House."

Dane was going through all of the earls he knew in his head. "Am I allowed to ask which House this is?" he finally asked. He didn't recognize it from the back of the house, nor the Earl himself.

Petrus threw him a glance. "Farmor. Earl College. You'd know him as Thunder Fist."

Dane blanched. Almost all of the bragging of his fellows at the other House had been about how they'd been doing a better job than the Thunder Fist House at the night raids and how the Head liked to stand back and let all the other Houses do the hard work. Even still, they had been said with nervous glances sometimes, as if there had been things seen done by this House, and always someone ended up by saying that it was all true, but there wasn't a single man of Thunder Fist House that had fear in them. Dane knew. He'd seen just enough of it now. There was only one thing these men feared. Lord College - Thunder Fist himself. There was likely only one person they respected. Missus Ilena. She stood between him and them. Dane took a deep breath. He was probably really in Hell, and only the Queen could save him from it. He fervently hoped she'd been telling him the truth in the wagon.

-o-o-o-

"Come." The firm female voice came from behind the closed door. Dane eyed the scarred, hardened man who was guarding the door with a little trepidation, then gingerly reached for the door handle and let himself in. Petrus had left him here at this lower floor door after his inspection and questioning by the House surgeon. Said person had told him to come back at the normal time he would usually get his dose of the Little Death, had given Petrus something to drink, then shooed them off. It was the first time Dane had seen a basement level to a manor house and it looked more like an open hospital room than a simple doctor's office. He'd been quiet about it, but he'd noticed Petrus wasn't afraid of that room like he was of the building outside.

Dane closed the door behind him, then turned to face Missus Ilena. He bowed, not sure how far into the room to venture. She leaned back in her chair behind her desk, where she was indeed doing the standard accounting books for any manor home and lorded holding. She held onto her pen with the fingertips of both hands as she inspected him. She finally said, "Contrary to rumors, I don't bite." When he didn't move she pointed to the space in front of her desk with the pen. He obediently moved to that place. She might only be slightly older than him, but her presence spoke to weight of years and experience as if she were maintaining her youth by occult means, as rumor spoke to. Just because she didn't bite didn't mean worse wouldn't happen. Obedience was prudent - just as prudent as caution and wariness.

Missus Ilena opened her mouth, paused, tipped her head to listen, then said, "When Doctor Elliot gets your schedule turned around properly, you'll begin working as stable hand in the stables. I figure you can handle that one well enough given your background." Dane nodded slightly. "It will be your responsibility to muck out the stalls, but you'll have help. If you don't, rat them out. Keep the horses fed, too, of course. Lord College likes them curried to a shine before leaving. He doesn't care if there's a bit of dirt on everyone else's saddle, though you shouldn't let them rot before their time, but his has to be shiny enough to reflect the light. I highly recommend - "

The door burst open and Dane jumped, though Missus Ilena remained calm. She rose and bowed. Dane immediately turned and bowed as well, not even looking at the person who had come through the door. It was obvious. "How may I be of service?" Missus Ilena said calmly.

"Why are you late, and why is _he_ here with you?"

"I am giving him his instructions for his position, so he knows what he is to do." This time she was very respectful in her speech.

"At the time to sleep?" the Earl was not calming well.

"That house had the men on a reverse schedule, if I recall. I pulled him out just at the lucid phase and he slept all the way here. I will be sending him to be with Doctor Elliot next. Doctor Elliot has said it will take a week to get his schedule reversed to ours, though I expect him to be able to be to work within four days for at least a portion of the - day." The final word was cut off and choked out.

Dane stared at the two of them. Earl College had moved very quickly and had Missus Ilena's throat in the grip of his massive hand and had her raised up until she was barely tiptoe on the ground so they were eye to eye. Dane was panicking internally, but Missus Ilena's eyes were calmly staring into Earl College's eyes and her face was the neutral of all servants. Slowly Earl College's eyes returned from the rage that was in them. He set Missus Ilena down on her feet and released her. His eyes narrowed. "Get to bed, as soon as you're done. I don't need you waking late, and I don't want to be up any later than I have to tonight." He stepped back from her.

Missus Ilena bowed. "Yes, Lord College." When she rose her face had not changed and she was calm as she looked into her lord's eyes again. He scowled then turned and swept out of the room, slamming the door behind him. For some reason, all Dane could see in his head was the overly jealous husband commanding his wife. He stared at her, his eyes wide. Surely that couldn't be the relationship in this House, could it? Where she had been held about the neck was turning red, the thumb and fingerprints becoming very evident. She calmly set her pen down on her book. "We'll finish this on the walk downstairs." She looked back up at him and very quietly said. "Come tomorrow right after dinner clean up." Dane nodded once. She turned and led him out of the room.

The guard followed them as they walked to the stairs that led down to the hospital wing. "I would recommend, Dane, that you spend any free time you have about the stables currying his horse or polishing his saddle and tack." Dane blinked. She had picked up exactly where she had left off. "If we aren't to breakfast by the time you need to take your dose, go get it. Chef will be there early enough, but you shouldn't miss any more than tomorrow's breakfast. He'll need to see your face there and at dinner at a minimum until you're a regular and you learn his patterns."

Dane didn't want to become a 'regular'. Not one little bit. It must have shown. She glanced at him and mouthed, 'tomorrow'. He tried to relax. Other men were surviving here. He might also...maybe. He nervously ran a hand through his straight brown hair, gripping it briefly at the scalp. It was getting hard to contain the terror he felt.

-o-o-o-

Dane was sure to be perfectly obedient to Missus Ilena's words to him. He did have to go to breakfast early, but he stayed long enough that the Earl saw him leave the kitchen after he was done eating and headed to the lower level. He'd seen that Missus Ilena spoke to the Earl quietly as the Earl's eyes followed Dane as he left the room. He'd swallowed hard, hoping he'd done right. That it was better to be seen and his actions questioned than to just not be present. He'd watched Missus Ilena and the guard both drink whatever liquid it was Doctor Elliot was giving everyone, it seemed, then watched as they'd walked out. Missus Ilena had left two final instructions. His was, "When you go to sleep in the morning think very hard about your mother." Doctor Elliot's had been, "Start training him." Both orders had been very odd.

Dane was awake now, done with his payment to the Little Death. He'd been given his own dose of the liquid, which tasted like water, this morning. He was sure he'd felt someone holding his hand during the pain payment phase, and it had been somewhat comforting that the Doctor had been present when he'd been lucid, but he didn't think it had been the Doctor that had been holding his hand. There wasn't much time between the two, and the room had been empty of other people, but it wasn't him. The fingers had been more slender. He wanted to say it had been Missus Ilena, but that didn't seem reasonable either, at least as far as her reputation in the underworld went.

Of course, Dane thought as he sat to eat his dinner with the rest of the House, that reputation and what he was learning about her at this place was different in perspective. Not much different in final form, but... He didn't taste the food. Just ate. His terror had been helped some by talking to Doctor Elliot into the night until Doctor Elliot went to bed, telling him to stay put...or die. It hadn't had any malice in it. It didn't need to. Thayne had finally dozed for part of the night, it being rather boring to be alone. According to the doctor, Mistress Ilena did protect everyone else; so did the Little Death. Doctor Elliot had explained why it was used - to allow the Earl to know what everyone's dreams held so that he wouldn't punish them in even more horrible ways. He'd reiterated what Ilena's orders were this morning, too, to think hard about his mother before falling asleep. He wasn't dead, so if the Earl had been present during his sleep-talking phase, he'd said the right things, maybe. He hoped so...not that he knew what the right and wrong things to talk about were, nor could he control his dreams, as far as he knew.

He finished eating, knew the Earl had been looking at him off and on during the meal, washed his dishes with the rest of them, took the opportunity to set chairs on tables, since he wasn't up in the day to help with chores yet and he felt he should get started right away with at least something, then headed to Missus Ilena's office. This time he walked up to the place in front of her desk and bowed and waited for her. She finished writing her number then said quietly, "In the morning let your fear of the Earl follow you into sleep. Anything you focus on as you fall asleep will protect you, if you focus on it with all you are worth, and then let it fill your dreams. Your fear of the Earl and your mother should be the two you alternate through each night until they are all you dream about."

She went back to writing, but said, "Please trust me, Dane. This next little bit will be just as frightening, but you have to stay here until you're clear of the Little Death. This is the only place -" The door slammed open again. Dane jumped again, but into attention this time as if still receiving orders, or rather, waiting for them since she was ignoring him. There was a heavy pause, then the room moved again, very fast. Dane was breathless, then he turned to see what it was that had happened.

The Earl and Missus Ilena were facing off. The Earl had his angry eyes on Dane, his fingers curled on one hand, a fist on the other. Missus Ilena was between them, staring down the Earl. "Again, Ilena! Again he is in here! Explain yourself!"

"We have done nothing."

"You are plotting against me again! You always bring in new people only to have them disappear again. When is my demise coming?"

"It isn't, Lord College. I am not plotting. I am training." Her voice was steady and calm. Dane had no idea how. He was terrified for real this time. This time _he_ was the target. "How can I have competent staff to support you and the Earldom if I don't train them properly?"

"Why do they keep disappearing then?"

"How many times will you take your men out to fight for you, Lord College? How many more staff must I replace with your fighting men? You know that if I don't balance it the Queen will send her men to search the house. I apologize he isn't sufficient for you. I will replace him with another who is, if I can find one, when we next go out, but I need him for now in the stables. I'm having troubles finding any. We are beginning to run out of possible additions to the fighters from Wilant." The curled hand clenched. Lord College's jaw clenched along with it and a vein throbbed in his temple. Ilena calmly stood and waited. Dane held very still, barely breathing.

Very slowly the Earl regained control of himself. "Ilena if I find him in here one more time, you will both be punished." It was very cold.

"Doctor Elliot says he sleep talks at ten thirty in the morning."

The Earl glared one more time at Dane, the swiftly turned away and stormed out of the office. "Be on time tonight!" he ordered Missus Ilena.

She bowed to the retreating back, "Yes, Lord College."

When she was sure the Earl was gone, she turned to face Dane. He stared at her. Her calm was unfathomable. It was like she was an immovable cliff face against the storm of wrath the Earl presented. "Dane, the terror and fear will continue to build. I won't be able to see you again for a while, not until he is content we are not plotting against him. That terror will be your shield until then. I will come to you before you break. I promise. I will also be your shield until I can free you of this place, but you mustn't reveal that. You must never call for me, awake or asleep. Only ever call for your Mother." Her eyes were overpowering him and he could only see them. "Call only for your Mother, Dane." He nodded obediently. "I'm sorry you have to stay, but only Doctor Elliot knows how to wean a person off the Little Death. I promised to send you home alive. Bear with it. I will help you."

Dane bowed to her. "I promised myself that if I could have a second chance, the opportunity to return to my home, that I would do whatever it took. I am very afraid of this place, but if it means I can return home," he took a deep breath, "I will do it."

Missus Ilena smiled at him - a small smile to be sure - and it felt like the sun broke through the clouds and pierced his eyes and heart. He would have never imagined that the cold, stone face that she presented could ever be graced with a smile filled with such kindness. "That is good, Dane. Let it be your anchor in this terrible storm that must be passed through. You've asked for it, it will happen. Now walk through it, though acting is so much more hard than promising. ...And then keep the rest of your promises to yourself that you made at that time as well." Dane blinked and nodded. "Petrus will continue to help you. Go to him with your questions or if you need anything."

She walked back to her desk. "Go to the barracks tonight. Listen well to what is said. Learn from them what you need to be dreaming about in order to survive. Ingrain it well into your thoughts as you drift off to sleep. Return to the main house for breakfast. If the Earl comes to the barracks, hide from his eyes until he leaves and quickly return to the basement in case he comes to check on you here after that, though he will come to see me first, so you will have time to get back if you go straightaway. Don't feign sleep. He knows you're supposed to be awake. Let him see the truth," she looked into his eyes soberly, "all of it, but don't say it. That one time I won't be able to protect you by being present. I will only be able to protect you by being absent. He will do more damage if he doesn't make contact, but don't let him hit you full force. Lean away from it just enough for them to be glancing blows. He no longer knows the difference." She paused. "If he has heard enough from me, perhaps he will only yell. I will hope for that. Or that he will be tired enough he won't bother to come tonight but will wait until tomorrow to hear what you have to say. ...I have done the best I can. Please also do your best." She waved him off.

Dane swallowed hard. His feet didn't want to move. He took a long slow breath, then forced his feet to carry him away from the protection he'd had until now. He wasn't sure how he made it to the barracks, but he tucked himself into a dark corner behind a table and wrapped in a blanket that had been sitting on top of it, hiding even his head. There he shivered and listened to the extra slow breathing of men in the little death state - that of seeming as if already dead, the breathing coming very slowly, with long pauses in between. He'd never been awake when the others were in this state, being in it himself. It was eerie. It made his terror greater, but also lulled him into a state of being detached from his nearly overwhelming emotions.

The only things he really held onto were his orders from Missus Ilena and the thought he'd had when he'd made himself or whatever gods might exist that promise. If he could be freed from the hell of another man's choosing, he'd walk through the hell of returning home that he'd made for himself. His heart sobbed. He'd had no idea what hell that was. Now that he was living it, it was the most difficult thing he'd ever had to do. He held on to the hope of seeing his father and brother again, deep in his soul. He believed Missus Ilena. She'd already taken twice abuse for him and offered to take more. He would get out... someday.

-o-o-o-

The pain of that night was something he never forgot. He let it feed his nightmares, knowing they would save him in that place. He never forgot any of Missus Ilena's orders, holding to them strictly. Life became routine, eventually, from a deranged point of view. Eventually his Little Death rotation became the same as everyone else's and he was able to move to the barracks. Even the night pains decreased in duration and severity. After that night, if ever he caught the displeased eye of the Earl, Missus Ilena was in between them, defending him. He noticed she did it for anyone that caught that eye. She took all of his wrath on herself, deflecting it most of the time, occasionally receiving a physical punishment before her calm calmed the beast inside the Earl. She was always harsh, but fair, in her 'scoldings' of the men, unless one forgot his place, which was rare.

Dane finally understood, fully, her place. The other men had explained that she was on the drug as well and the Earl listened more closely to her words than any other person's - every night. His insistence she be in bed by a certain time was so he could go to bed himself after he heard her sleep talk. He only occasionally entered the barracks. It surprised and dismayed Dane she was on the Little Death as well. That she had to go through the pain of the payment phase, but if it was also keeping her alive, he could only be grateful for that.

Then came the day he entered the medical basement and Doctor Elliot handed him his dose for the night. "This is your last." Dane froze and stared at Doctor Elliot. "Tomorrow the Earl will take the men on a minor raid. You will sneak on the last wagon after the Earl is on his horse and headed out to the front of the house. The men know and will help you. When it's the right time, they'll get you out of the wagon. You'll have to walk from the North Road to your home, but go straight there and greet your father immediately."

Dane couldn't take the dose. Tears were choking his throat, and threatened to spill. "But...but, she promised...," he said faintly around the lump.

"Take the dose," the Doctor looked impatient.

Dane swallowed, then lifted the cup to his lips, draining it obediently. He handed the cup to the Doctor who turned and walked away. Dane turned sadly around to go to the barracks and froze again. Ilena was standing behind him. She opened her arms and he ran to her and held her. She wrapped warm arms around his shoulders, holding his head to her shoulder and slipping her fingers into his hair at the nape of his neck. Dane sobbed. His grief and guilt from the time he'd been in the other House. His fear and terror of being in this house, always afraid for his life...and for hers. He didn't want to leave her here, but he knew that was selfish. The other men relied on her just as much...maybe more. They didn't have other places to go, like he did.

"How long will you be here?" he asked, bereft.

"Until it is time for the Earl to die," she said softly. "He will decide that himself." Dane shook. That could be a very long time. "You were very strong, and have a lot of courage. Use it to continue moving forward. I'm proud of you. You have come this far. You still need to face your family. Do it honestly, then keep doing your best."

He nodded into her shoulder. "If - if there is anything I can ever do to repay you..." He wanted to free her but knew he couldn't.

"When I send for you, come without question. When it is time for Thunder Fist to fall, I will need you and the things you heard at that other House. Help me take him down at that time."

Dane had just heard the answer. He _could_ help free her. He felt a fierceness inside. "I'll do it," he said firmly. "And I'll do more, whatever you need."

He heard the smile in her voice, "I'll remember that, Dane."

He released her slowly and looked at her, wanting to see the smile that went with that sound. Her smile was genuine and lit her face and eyes. It was full of pride in him and happiness for his sake. He swallowed around tears again. The only description his heart could offer was, 'Mother'. He had finally found the one he had lost, in this place that could only be called 'hell'. He dashed the tears from his eyes, wanting to see her clearly. "Will I see you again, Mother?"

Her smile widened, brightening her face even more. "I will hope so, Dane. Your father and brother are also special to me. I would like to come and see the three of you together, at peace again, for myself. Plus," her face took on a calculating look, "they owe me."

Dane looked at her in surprise, then slowly a smile came to his own lips. "Yes, I suppose if they do, you should come and collect. I'll look forward to it, then."

Ilena stared at him, drinking in his own happy smile until she turned away and pulled on his hand. "Get back to the barracks before you fall asleep. Be safe, be well." She released his hand as he passed her.

He looked at her one last time, then left the room as she went to get her own dose for the night. He would never forget her. He was hers, the Queen of Night, who found lost souls and restored them and was worthy of being protected by the rumors to the contrary; she who's real name was Mother.

-o-o-o-

Dane continued to protect her. He never told anyone what Lord's house she was in; only told his father and brother that Ilena had found him, helped him heal, and sent him home to repent and walk the proper path from then on. When she had the rare opportunity to visit, he treated her as gently as he would his own mother, having now found one again. He was also always obedient, and very willingly helped her in all he could. When the rumor came she had been injured in the landslide, his heart quailed. He didn't want to loose her, his Mother, again. When the word came that she'd died of the Little Death, he couldn't believe it, refused to, but he felt as lonely as if he had lost her again, his own mother. He could only hold on to the hope the same as he had before when he had been in that House with her, that this was a temporary darkness. This was the opportunity every Child of Mother had hoped for, after all. That she would finally be free of the place she freed them from, had protected them in. They waited for days and weeks with their collective breath held.

He was frustrated with the man named Obi, then surprised by him, then given a glimmer of hope by him. He pressed on that glimmer, desperate to know for a surety that _his_ Mother was still alive, still available to him in some way. And in the process, he learned that this man he didn't even know understood exactly how he felt. Dane watched Obi closely during the short time he was with him, feeling the same protective concern Obi had for the Children of Mother that was in Mother herself, seeing the same worry in his eyes every time Mother was mentioned. It was Dane's greatest relief to finally hear Mother was alive, his pain to hear of her injury and that she might not walk again. He lived to hear each word Obi brought back with him on her progress.

It was another of the Children brought to Falcon's Hollow that explained just who Obi was. Dane spent the rest of that day and into the night reliving his own nightmares again from that House, in awe that Obi had come out of it as a child and still turned into Father. He worried for Mother, though, that Obi might be his brother all over again, that she would have to once again be a shield for those around her. Then Dane was called up to go with Obi and another child, Thayne, to the castle to serve the Regent. He couldn't believe it. All the way to the castle he couldn't believe it. All through the walk to his room. He'd had to hold himself while he waited for Obi to change so they could go meet the Regent. ...The Regent! Him? Dane? It wasn't reality any more. Was it heaven to balance the hell, or was it a different hell? The walk to the Regent's office was the longest walk he'd ever taken, except the one to the basement of Farmor the night he knew he was going to be beaten by the Earl. Was he going to get a similar punishment in the end?

To have Obi teased and tease back right at the Regent's door said it was going to be very different. Dane's brain immediately had to rearrange. Tairn already being in the room was a blessing as well. He welcomed Dane and Dane returned the acknowledgement. It looked like Tairn was well and in reasonable spirits, though relieved to see him. The piles on the desks looked daunting. Then he looked into the blue eyes of the white haired Regent and the light emanating from him was as overwhelming as the light from Mother. He barely knew he'd answered the Regent's welcome and words of gratitude. The banter in the room had continued - light hearted and that of long-time comfortable companions.

By the time Dane was next to his brother again, he knew. He'd come to heaven. Mother was free. It was still hard to not get to see her until the day Obi brought her in her wheelchair, and then to only receive a single smile, but he drank his fill of her and the life she had in her now. Gone was the stony face, the cold demeanor. She was angry, worried, dismayed, concerned, full of life, and he knew, under it all was still the smile that would light any heart or room. He waited patiently and eventually that patience was rewarded. A hug. Tears. The smile that lit his world. Life was finally full of good things. He continued to work hard for her, for himself. That was all he needed. Mother was free.

* * *

 _*This is the full, unabridged, story of Dane and Ilena. It illustrates what life was like in Farmor with Marcovik College and what the real major dream of all her Children that came out of Farmor was. The stories of Mother's Children taken to Falcon's Hollow were abridged because all of them protected her in them, not revealing what her role fully was in that place. Only Obi's unabridged version gives these stories, because he lived them himself. He also never shared them with anyone else, only the abridged ones. Not even Zen. They would have torn him apart, and Obi knew it. Obi himself had troubles with them as it was. Ilena had to hold him and comfort him while he read them and he only ever did once. - A bit like Shirayuki reading Zen's poison record...only worse.*_


	6. Obi's Ode

_I am so excited. My brother, Bert Larsen, wrote this and has allowed me to post it. He hasn't even read Akagami no Shirayukihime! (He's only just started reading my story, after he sent this to me.) *Feel free to ship your favorite hair color into the first refrain. *wink*_

* * *

Wanly the wind  
Wafts your winsome hair  
Dark the dun and sere  
Dawn drifts over dew-filled hills  
Sweetly sings a songbird,  
Softly celebrating the sun  
Carefully you comb your curly  
Locks, creamy gold.*

The sun, the moon, the stars,  
Your glorious face,  
Lifted to the sky together,  
Great and humble,  
Speak the spheres wondrous and meek,  
Power and stillness,  
Sounding and calm,  
The morning breaks.

Inside with you, in your turret,  
You step gorgeous in your flowing robe,  
Purpose revealed by the morning sun,  
Filtering into your queenly sanctum.

How hope flies heavenward,  
Heave a sigh and sink  
Deep into the hollows in my heart,  
Having no help  
I long for you secretly  
While speaking no inward thoughts aloud.

Your simple grace speaks more almost than I can see,  
Your eyes, how they shine  
Like distant but present planets,  
Verdant as they fill their orbs with dazzling light,  
Your hands, lighting on your hips and hair,  
Thin and delicate,  
Your legs, what I can see, fair and lovely,  
Your face, sweet and pure and mild.

Can kindness unforrow the cares that crease my aged brow,  
Kiss the benighted kingdom of solitude that creeps over my unkempt soul,  
Lighting the crevasse that overshadows my heart?  
Can the key you wield cut the chains that hold me fast?

Not daring to look up I dart my eyes furtively in your direction,  
A Dream of love in a dark and dreary soul,  
Never to be realized,  
Never darkness to be lifted,  
My love unspoken.

Why do you risk your beauty in my presence?  
Not knowing my flaws and imperfections,  
Do you flaunt your flawless brightness  
To tempt and test my grizzled patience?  
I am alone and unfavored,  
Misunderstood and forsaken.

The clear light around your body,  
Like see-through crystal fire,  
Rolling in billows from your majestic person  
Like liquid love  
Shields you from the shadow I shed around me.

You kindly ask the Universe to stop for you,  
And lend its starlight to strengthen the space you shine from.  
How noble and good!  
How wise and impenetrable the fortress,  
That goes about - dare I name it? - your sanctifying, sanctified, and glorious Soul!

My hands are weak, I dare not lift them up,  
Dare not reach for the heart of the Cosmos,  
The gem at the helm of God's eternal crown  
That is your face!  
No, to look on such Holiness is a sin  
That would ban me at once to outer darkness.

And so I must remain your humble servant,  
Rejoicing in the rich opulence of your regal mantle,  
Not daring to meet the space before your eyes  
That would welcome me if a Saint,  
Reprove with meekness if a sinner,  
But with such meekness that would rend the soul of any man.

And so I ask in my heart,  
Does the sun still shine,  
Or will I be doomed to impenetrable night?  
Can fears be replaced with hope and light?  
I know if only I were a true man,  
If only I could cast aside the cloak that chills my heart  
With dishonor and doubt,  
If I could join you in the sunshine -

But no, my heart,  
Go back to the shadow you deserve,  
Do not dare to drag  
The Angel to your dungeon,  
There to rule over her  
Spirit in your dreary world.

God made her for highest Heaven.

\- by _Bert Larsen_

* * *

 _It fits Obi so well, don't you think? He might even write another one or two for me after he's read my stories (and the manga). Sooo Coooll! (I have great brothers. ..Now to venture to ask my second brother to draw ObixIlena for me... He's the artist in the family, but he's very busy.)_


	7. Thayne's Major Dream

[T]

Thayne's Major Dream

 _Mother's come!_ the call high upon the air above the noise that normal people could hear flew swiftly from Child to Child and excitement filled the Family of Mother.

"The Queen has come!" whispered through the dark alleys and dim hidden bars and inner places at nearly the same time. Some who heard it were of the Queen's House, others weren't and they took notice but didn't move otherwise.

A young man flipped wavy light brown hair out of his eyes and stood up to wipe the sweat from his brow. His grey-blue eyes caught the dark eyes of one of his companions. The other man, his bare muscles rippling with the effort to lift his burden and glistening with sweat, looked back with a bare half-smile, then a wink. "Off you go lad. You've got other duties today."

He grinned, "And likely for a few days at least, this time."

The other nodded as he turned to carry his load. "Bring her by as soon as you can. Tell her we're waiting to greet her. She'll be pleased with the progress."

"Got'cha." Thayne put down his trowel and wiped his hands on a dirty rag. The building of the exterior of the second arena was almost completed and the interior of the first was getting the final touches this week. They might - just might - get to see her christen it this visit. It was a thing he and every nightwalker in Lyrias was looking forward to, and half the Family as well, truth be told.

Thayne walked both sides, night House and day Family. _She'd_ put him there, but he'd wanted it. Wanted to walk at her back since the day she'd helped his father bury his mother. She'd refused to let him join her at her home, saying that he was too good to be ruined that way. He didn't mind, as long as she let him walk with her. He'd only seen her on the two or three occasions per year her lord, Earl College, visited with his own Viscount until then.

-o-o-o-

His father hadn't thought too much about her before that one memorable visit. A lanky pre-teen with straight black hair she wore in a braid that fell half-way down her back. Already a hard face that seemed to have seen too much of the hard life of her master. When they came and the lords were in conference, their men ran roughshod in the hunting lodge, teasing the maids too much, gambling, drinking and fighting - though not enough to get tattled on by the young girl who stood unafraid in the middle of them (when she stood still). When she wasn't standing watch, her piercing dark tawny eyes seeing every little detail, she was running.

Thayne loved to watch that. He cowered when the men were there, hiding in the stable or in his father's cottage. But when the Queen left the lodge to run...then he came out, sat on the stable roof, and watched. She would run towards her selected tree, run _up_ the tree, grab a branch, swing herself up to rest briefly, crouched on her branch - her starting line. Then, with a breath, she was gone moving swiftly from branch to branch, tree to tree, in a circle around the hunting lodge. She was dark shadow moving swiftly, leaping, running, climbing and dropping down again but never touching the ground.

Each time was just a little different. The first time, he watched her in surprise, in the middle of fetching a bucket of water for the horses as she had to stretch her then-short body to make the gaps between trees. She'd stayed in the circle, close by the house, with three hard-eyed men watching her. He'd worked extra hard on learning to climb trees after that visit. The second time there had been only one man watching her closely, walking the circle as if holding the long creance line of a hunting bird being trained to the lure, and she'd had a little more finess, but still it was only the curcuit around the lodge. He'd begun practicing jumping close branches between trees after that visit. He wasn't too much smaller than her, after all. Somehow he managed to not get any broken bones in his falls.

The third time she'd come, he'd finally figured out there were eyes watching her from inside the house, but she'd stayed in the circle still and flew from branch to branch, tree to tree. That time, he'd timed her and his goal when she was gone was to get up to that speed. The fourth time, and since then, she did the circuit around the hunting lodge once, then disappeared into the woods away from the road. His father would come home from his chores as the Viscount's forester and talk about having seen her fly past him in the tree tops, a large light brown bird with black tail flying behind that grew longer with each visit.

It was her eyes that drew Thayne as he watched her in flight, when he could catch a glimpse of them. They were hard when she was on the ground, almost like flint. When she was in flight they were alive and wild, like the hawks and falcons that came through to poach the rabbits from the Viscount. When she returned from her flights through the woods, they stayed that way until the Earl and his men left, taking her back to whatever cage they kept her in. Each time they returned, her face and eyes were harder, smoother, more refined, more regal.

His mother died when they were there. It was probably the third time she'd been gone out on flight away from the house. The Earl's men decided that since they didn't have their young overseer, they could play a little harder, tease a little meaner, fight a little more seriously. All the temporary staff had been frightened and even Thayne and his mother had tried to stay out of sight. It hadn't been enough. Someone had to come to the master's call and when two of the three maids had been released from duty, it had been his mother who had left the house late. The Earl's men woke late each morning, since in their regular line of duty most of their work was done in the dark of night when evil things could happen away from the eyes of good hard-working folk.

One had seen the falcon take flight shortly before Thayne's mother walked out the kitchen door to return to their cottage. He'd followed her and grabbed her when they were out of sight of any eyes, covering her mouth hard enough to leave bruises to be seen later when she'd been found by Thayne's father, her clothing torn off, her body bloody, her neck broken solely to keep her silent so that the man who'd decided he was going to have 'fun' wouldn't get into trouble with the young falcon or his lord. Thayne had been hiding in the stable, taking care of the horses, so hadn't known until suddenly his father's voice called out his mother's name. The sound was so full of anguish, pain, and anger that Thayne had frozen in place for two seconds. He'd seen a flash of shadow in the trees and that had woken him up. He'd run out the door of the stables to look after her.

She'd lept down out of the trees and run behind the house, a look of horror on her face. Thayne couldn't move. The cry combined with that look made his legs completely stop functioning. He'd sunk down to his knees right there. He hadn't seen human death until that time, hadn't known that kind of evil until then, but just having these people come and invade three times a year was sufficient foreshadowing. He didn't need to know, didn't need to see, to know he didn't have a mother to hold him, a kind voice full of love to encourage him, a happy home any more. He'd dropped his head to cover his face with his hands. No tears came then, just an overwhelming feeling of horror to match her look, the feeling of 'why'. Why _his_ mother? It could have been any maid. Why did it have to be the one who held the men in this woods lightly together when they were all alone for all the rest of the year except these few incursions? The hatred had begun to build then. Hatred that made him rise to his feet and run towards the lodge. Hatred that was going to make those evil, dispicable, horrid men pay for trespassing into _his_ home to take from him _his_ mother who had done nothing but serve properly.

He'd broken out from the stable and into the clear space between it and the lodge to be suddenly captured in strong, thin arms. His arms had been pinned so he could only struggle to get free. "Stop!" It had been whispered in a hard female voice. It was the first word she'd ever spoken to him. "I'll take care of it. I promise. I can't bring her back, but I can make them pay. Don't die, too. If you want revenge, live, and I promise I'll give you the opportunity...as many times as it takes until you're satisfied.

He was breathing hard, but her words were words he could accept and he went cold and hard as she spoke them. By the time she was done saying them, he was still and as cold as an iron bar in winter. He'd nodded once and she'd slowly released him and stepped back cautiously, making sure he didn't try to run again. "If you want to see what I'll do, come behind, but don't enter the main room. You might not make it out alive, though. If you'd rather wait, go to your house. We'll be coming back there." A nod and she was gone, leading his father by the elbow again towards the lodge.

Thayne's eyesight came back enough at that vision to see the abject grief on his fathers face, the unseeing eyes that were shedding tears so freely they were blinded by the liquid that spilled down his cheeks. That sight finally broke his own barrier and with a sob, he turned and ran for his own house. He threw himself on his parent's bed, in his mother's place as if to hold her with them, to keep her from leaving them, but she was already gone. Already risen from bed, dressed, done her work, and been stolen from them. She wouldn't walk that floor, dancing with the broom, only to have it replaced with the husband who loved her and would dance just for her, even if clumsily. She wouldn't run her hand through Thayne's hair, toussle it, and call him funny names any more. The smells of her cooking wouldn't rise through the air to call them home at the end of a day walking the woods to count the animals, see if the foxes had kits, and what trees had come down in the last storm.

His sobbing had continued until the door to their house opened again and they had come in, his father, the young falcon Queen, and his mother. Behind them were the two other maids, either of which _could_ have been the one to be dead instead of _his_ mother. He wanted to hate them, but they were white and afraid, and apologetic, understanding that it well could have been one of them. The tears were also dripping down their faces.

"Put her on the table, Foster," the Queen ordered. Thayne stared at her. For the first time ever there was something soft about her. Her words, even the tone of her voice, the hand on his father's shoulder. It was a thing he wouldn't have thought of her. She helped Foster lay his mother's body on the table properly. "You two," she addressed the maids not quite so softly, but not harshly either, "clean her properly. Foster, find us her favorite dress." She led his father to the small wardrobe and pulled things out until his father had nodded dully. Leading his father by the arm again, she'd taken the dress back to the maids. "See she's dressed in this." The maids nodded and took the dress and returned to their work. Placing Foster on the bed next to Thayne, she'd said. "Sit here with your son. I've another task to start, then I'll be back." Thayne nodded for his father, who couldn't move, see, or comprehend. A soft touch to his head and she was gone.

He'd followed her, to stand at the door and watch. The men of the Earl and the Viscount were standing outside the Lodge around a headless body on the ground, it's severed head next to it. Some were still looking at it, but most were looking warily at the young female headed their way. Within three minutes every man was on the ground holding one body part or another. The later men tried to defend, some to run, but no one could see her move, and who her target was couldn't be told by anyone watching. When she was done, she was in a crouched pose, splayed on the ground, grown men and older teens writhing in pain. "Am I clear?" she asked, her voice deadly. "Yes, Missus," her own had answered immediately, even if groaned. The Viscount's men were a bit slower but she accepted teary nods from them. They weren't her own, but it was clear - she wouldn't put up with any such behavior from any of them.

"Dump him. The rest of you'll go dig her grave in the garden in the place you wish your own mother could have been buried in if you'd bothered to love her enough to not become what you are today, and you'll do it now. Then, you're all confined to the lodge until we leave and you'll be doing your own cleaning, cooking, stablehanding and laundry until we're gone. You'll also do your lord's work. Not a single servant will set foot in this house until we are gone again. If the lords complain you'll call for me. Barraka, see the grave's done properly. Landras, the head's to go where it can remind you lot what will happen _every_ time you decide to let your common sense get buried by your evil desires. This day you've created another one of you just by breathing. You'll see he's cared for like your own, but you'll not taint him. He's mine."

"Yes, Missus." It had taken several days before Thayne had realized she'd been talking about him, and then they were gone so he couldn't ask her what she meant. At that time, she'd risen and walked straight for him, taking his arm without looking at him as they reentered the little cottage. Together they walked up to the table where the maids were working, their faces drawn and white still.

"You'll not go back into the lodge," she told them. "The men will take care of the chores for the rest of this visit. Tell all the servants they're to go back. I'll bear the burden of the punishment and pass it on to the men." She looked at Thayne. "That goes for you and your da' as well. You'll stay in the house or the woods, but the men will care for the horses. Your dad's going to need to just grieve for a few weeks, likely. Can you handle the cooking if he can't?"

Thayne blinked and his face fell. "We won't starve, but...neither of us's good as Ma."

"Not starving's as good as a lot get it." It was cold words, but not said as cold as they could have been. He could only nod. She'd passed him off to the maid and sent the second one to sit with his father while she finished cleaning the wounds and put the dress on his mother - a bright yellow one with little white flowers on it that made her feel like summer sunshine in the middle of winter. Looking at her laying on the table like she was sleeping in that dress had finally made the tears fall again from his own eyes. He wanted so badly to see her get up from that table, twirl in her dress, and smile at him, even for one last time. The maid sitting with him held him as the sobs welled up from inside and spilled out whether or not he wanted them to. It was just easier to let them.

-o-o-o-

The next time he'd seen her, she'd been in the front of the group of men, riding near the Earl as they came into the lodge courtyard months later. The Viscount had come out to greet them, welcoming the Earl. As the Earl dismounted, the Vicount looked at her. "Are you going to steal my servants from me again this time?"

"No. You're going to send them home. If you brought them, you've not learned your own lesson properly yet. We'll handle it, just like last time." Her voice was calm, cold, hard, her eyes completely unafraid. She hadn't left the back of her horse and neither had any of the men. "If you love your comforts that much, get your business done. We'll wait here." Her eyes had gone to the Earl and if anything went harder, almost daring him to cross her.

The Earl, in response, gave her a curl of the lip. He turned to the Viscount. "The Missus is anxious to be on the road already, even though this is her only playground." Thayne would have hit someone to say that. The willowy teen ignored him and looked towards Thayne instead. Silently she appraised him. He looked back, silently taking her measure as well. Apparently that was enough of a message to the lords. "I told him we'd take care of it before we came," the Earl said.

She looked back at them, looking the Viscount in the eye. He nodded. "Just me and the men."

She immediately dismounted, though completely uncaring in her attitude. The rest of the men did as well. A toss of her head and her horse was walking to the stable on its own. She headed straight for Thayne, ignoring everyone else. "How's Foster?"

"Living," Thayne answered. "Spends most of his time out in the woods. I've learned to cook decent enough."

"Is he out now?" Thayne nodded. She gestured, "Put the bucket by the door. They'll get it." She waited for him. "You still been practicing?" He stared at her, then nodded. "I'll go slow. Try to keep up. We'll see how you do."

She was running. He took off after her. She ran up the tree to the first branch, then swung up one more. He was up the trunk and in the first branch right behind her. She nodded and it was a game of tree-top follow-the-leader. He didn't know where his father was, but she swung around a curve, then headed a determined direction. They were quite a ways out when she paused. He landed behind her in the same tree. He'd spent a lot of time up in the trees since the last time she'd been there. He looked where she was looking to see his father. She'd come right to him. Motioning for him to stay put, she dropped to the ground, making just enough noise to alert Foster she was present.

Foster turned and looked from the ground, expecting an animal, up her body to look into her face. His face went just a little hard. He knew what seeing her meant. "You don't have to come home for three days if you don't want. I'll watch over the boy." A nod from Foster and she was back up in the tree. They held still until he went back to his work, then they returned to the lodge as quietly as they'd left it. She put him to his paces, though, and taught him what he hadn't been able to learn on his own in the trees, then in the brush until she was satisfied. "When we leave here, we're going to Lyrias. I want you to come with. Think about it. If you're willing, find your da' and let him know. We'll drop you back here on our way back through. Likely about two to three weeks from now."

That had been the first time he'd left the Viscount's forest hunting lodge. His first time out to see the world. It was big, wide, days to travel by horseback to the large university city. The small villages they had passed through had been large and exciting to his eyes then; Lyrias overwhelming. He stuck to her side like a bur, just trying to get his senses to comprehend so many people in one place all making noise. Light laughter, yells of playing children, haggling vendors and customers. No one from her group complained. Only the few men who were allowed to talk to her talked to him, except the Earl who ignored him after one appraising look from him when he mounted his horse at the lodge and rode to stand next to her, keeping his eyes as cold and distant as hers were. Of course, he couldn't help his excited eyes in towns and his nervous ones at Lyrias.

-o-o-o-

Now, though, he'd been here not just to visit briefly with her, learning the ropes of who and what she was and how to fit in to both sides of the people who followed her. This time, he'd stayed when they left, to help with building the fighting arenas she was having them put in to be money-making practice and recruitment halls. He didn't know a whole lot that first time out, and he still was learning, but he'd yet to meet anyone like her. She was one of a kind. Light and dark, hard bitten but a polite negotiator that got her way in the daylight with courteous words that never lied. In the night, she could put down any nightwalker that decided to cross her and fewer did these days. By now, the whole city left the Queen alone and in the day her Family thronged her if she smiled.

That had surprised him. Her first smile in his presence. It had sorrow and hardness behind it, but it was still genuine. So was the kind hug that had accompanied it. The person she gave it to was a man who looked like he'd been kicked by a mule and had just tried to put a knife in her side. He'd received a broken arm for the trouble and then a five minute therapy session while being bound by her own hands along with an apology for her lack of control at that moment. The smile had come at the end, after the tears of the man had changed his countenance from one of bitterness to one of calm relief. They'd dropped him off at one of the House centers for food and watchful eyes to be on him. By the time her business was done there, he was asleep in the corner, a thin blanket over him. "He'll be fine, Missus." A nod from her and they were out the door. There hadn't been a smile before that, nor one after for that man, but it had stuck with him. Most of her smiles after that came around that kind of time, and were just as brief. Thayne stuck even more tightly next to her after that.

Then she'd introduced Thayne to the Family. She'd woken him up early, a finger on his lips. Early for the Earl and his men meant a normal morning waking time for the rest of the world - and she'd still let Thayne sleep in some. A wink once he was up and she was leading him out the door. He'd had to look at her several times to make sure he was following the right black braid. They were accosted by two children as soon as they'd stepped foot out of the inn. "Mother, Mother!" and arms were around her.

"Hey. And how are you doing this fine morning?" It was said calmly but with tenderness. Thayne had looked around for who was talking, then looked around again for the person he'd been following up until now. All he could see was an older teen girl chatting kindly with two younger children. He'd stood there, mystified until she'd finally turned teasing eyes on him. "Keep up, Thayne," and she was off. Only the fact that she'd called him kept him trailing after her.

She was stopped regularly and always she had a kind look and a pleasant voice. Like in the night House where she was always addressed as 'Missus', out in the day she was always addressed as 'Mother', regardless of the age of the person who had stopped to talk to her. That trip wasn't too different from the others. A walk around town, stopping at various places to check in with proprieters, only these were the ones that normal people would visit. As before, she would test him - his memory of their names, the shop names, what they sold, where they were located. Those things were the same, so he started to settle a little better. Having her talk to one of them in an ally to let them cry was like her, too. He'd learned that side for the next several trips out until he knew everyone in the night House and everyone in the day Family, and they all knew him. He'd learned a lot following her about the world, people, her secret coded language, how to listen, and he'd watched a lot of people while he was here this time too but, no. He really didn't know anyone like her.

-o-o-o-

Thayne arrived at the usual inn at the same time the Earl and his men did. He stayed out of the way of the Earl, but several of the men he knew greeted him. They had high turn-over (many ending up here in Lyrias those first years), but some had managed to hang on. He greeted them with nods. _Meet me on the roof._ He took off for the roof and waited there. It was a while before she came, sinking down with a sigh, arms resting over her knees. He looked at her, made easier because her eyes were closed as she breathed the fresher air of the top of the roof than down in the press of bodies. She was woman now, just passed into her twenties, but he wasn't sure just when. He was in that same range himself, but looked younger. He'd been running with her about seven years.

"How long this time?" he asked her.

"Mmm...," she looked up into the sky. "A long time, actually. All winter."

His eyes widened. "He's getting married on the return trip and doesn't want me or the men in the way. Wants her to believe he's on the up and up, at least until it's too late to do anything about it. It's supposed to look like I'm here for education one more time, though I'm done." She looked over the city and towards the university. "I'll be over there a lot. I've got my own thing to do while I'm there, but it isn't that kind of research. I'll come out at night, though."

Two other bodies landed next to them, smiles on their faces. "Hey." "Welcome back."

"Scamp, Scoundrel," she said with a nod. "You'll go in with me, the three of you. I'll need help with the reading. We're going hunting for people treasures in the stacks and among the up and coming. It's time to build up the other half."

The three of them nodded. She hadn't kept it a secret that income building was her next goal. That was why she was having the arenas built, after all. No one was quite sure why she was doing it, but it didn't matter. It was what the Queen wanted so it was what they were doing. She'd made sure the three of them had learned to read, and she had them go into the University Library to read for her at least once per trip out to Lyrias. "Do any of you need clothes to get in?" They all shook their heads. She'd bought them day clothes the last time she was out. They'd been outgrowing it before this time around but had settled pretty much for now in that department.

"Will you come look at the construction? First one's about done. Second will have the exterior done by the full snows," Thayne said. Winter had already arrived, but the deep snows that came to this high altitude region hadn't come just yet.

She looked that way. "After a bit. Let me know when the first one's ready. I'll be here long enough to see them both operational." She rose and dusted off her pants. If not for her braid and the fact she'd finally grown a bit in the womanly department, she'd really look like one of them - a thin street-rat vagabond who lived on scraps and scrapped to live. Probably because she did. They rose and leapt down from the roof with her and sauntered after her - the Queen Mother and her three city guards. Well...she used them as runners and errand boys, but they took the unspoken duty pretty seriously. There _were_ a few night Houses she wouldn't be able to stand against alone. Of course, given how many of her Family and House there were in Lyrias now, she wouldn't have been alone long. Still, they stuck by her side unless she sent them off to learn something in particular.

The research began and kept going. The arenas were finished and her christening tournaments were spectacular. Even the best of the opposing Houses couldn't best her in the knife ring, and she took out the ones who wouldn't abide the rule of 'marking only' until everyone played nice. She did have to go back to the street fighting ring three times to make it to the top, but she was obviously enjoying the challenge. She went back another three to make sure she knew she had her skills properly learned, then just went to watch on occasion. Her part of the city settled down and enjoyed having her around long term for once, and life found a pattern for a while.

Then came the day the news ran through the University library: _The Wistal Court Pharmacists are coming - for a two year stint._ She'd missed them the first time and the panic of the closing of the city for the unknown plague, though she'd heard about it on the Family information line. The newest news caused such a stir in the library she headed for the pharmacy itself and got the full story from Head Pharmacist Shidan himself over tea that night. She was thoughtful after that, but the patterns continued. Then there was the day the court pharmacists arrived. She hit the roof of one of the buildings that let her see who went where between the scholar's apartments and the university and tracked the plush black wool cloaks embroidered with the symbol of Wistal. Her face got hungry and a hand clenched. "I want them," she said under her breath.

"Are you going to get them this time?" Henry asked.

She shook her head. "They'll be hard to catch and reel in. They've already given their hearts to another - or so it sounds like from talking to Shidan."

"Looks like they're staying fairly plush," Marcus whistled appreciatively as they were taken by the University guide to one of the upscale student apartments and shown to singles. Most students had to room in at least doubles to be able to afford the cost, even if they were children of lords.

"The King's ordered them to come," she said, no emotion in the words. The three nodded. If the King was footing the bill, then he wouldn't care so much for the cost. They watched until the pair, a young red-haired woman, still in her late teens, and an even younger black-haired teen boy that was slightly stout, had entered the University grounds. The Queen sat on the roof and mused, but they'd seen her eyes follow the boy with particular fondness.

"You know him from before?" Thayne asked.

She nodded. "Long time ago. They should treat him nice, with the King's backing and all. He looks happy at least. That's good." She rose, not explaining herself, though that wasn't too surprising. They recognized the look and sound of Mother for one of her own Children. "Set a watch on them round the clock. A finger gets laid on them..." It didn't need to be finished.

They dropped into a deep snowbank and immediately began a snowball fight to muss up the bank and hide the evidence they'd come from above, throwing just as many snowballs onto the roof as at each other. They were just a bunch of students blowing off steam. The guardianship rotations were set by the time they left and went to dry off at one of her favorite Family restaurants. Her Family fed them without pay since she paid in other ways, but she rotated through them so as to not cause them undue strain on their wallets and the too many people who arrived when they learned where she was going - both students who wanted to ask her questions about their research and Family members who had free time on their hands.

"Hey, hey! Have you heard it, the Court Pharmacists have arrived!" Three students descended on her. "You're not going to get to just visit with Shidan any more, are you?"

She mock scowled at them. "If he calls me, I'll go, but I've other things to do. He's a busy man with or without them. Sheesh. Why you think I've got a crush on the old man, I have no idea."

"Well, he's the only prof you'll talk to, right?" one pestered.

"He _was_ my major prof. Students move on and when they come to visit, they visit. Nothing more, nothing less. Get on with it."

"Were you here last time...," and they had to hear the stories told all over again. The Queen was good at turning the stories, though, to hear perhaps a new thing here or a suddenly remembered detail there. This time, it came out that the red haired female had a second black haired person with her, that had also come from the castle, helped to solve the riddle of the plague, and returned with her. Her eyes glittered and she turned the conversation to get everything about that one out into the open. When they left, the look she gave Henry and Marcus was one they knew well. They disappeared.

Several hours later they met up again at the knife arena and sat behind her, leaning over the shoulders of her and Thayne, one on either of her ears and gave their report of everything they could learn about that one. Thayne had seen desire in her eyes before - the desire to have a highly qualified researcher, or a well trained artisan, even the desire to win a particular battle. The desire that hit her eyes and face that night when the name of the man was given was completely different. He was looking at the desire he knew, but it was on the face of the falcon who had run through the trees of the woods he had grown up in. Her fingers on both hands even clenched like talons as if she would descend on him and snatch him up for herself.

"But...there's no word if he'll come or not this time. That time he was outside when the gates were locked, but he was let into the garrison. No one on the streets or in the University is sure why, except to protect Red." The Queen nodded. That was sufficient for her. "Shall we keep an eye out for him?" She nodded again, seemingly unable to even open her mouth. She'd gone into full hunting mode...and the man wasn't even in the streets. That was enough for Thayne. If she wanted him, they'd find a way to get him for her. From the day he'd been claimed by her he hadn't regretted it. It wasn't possible for anyone to not want it, in his mind. He knew his companions agreed with that sentiment, though if they'd asked the adults, they might have been a little more tempered.

A watch was kept, but it wasn't easy to see just another black haired young man and know who it was coming in. The cloak would give it away of course, but...that was if he came in the day. False alarms came in regularly for a while until she set the law to wait until one showed up that _actually_ talked to Red and followed her around.

-o-o-o-

 _Intruder into Court Pharmacist's room._ The alarm came after dark one night not too much later, maybe a couple of weeks. _Black hair, fox mask. We're closing in._ Thayne had never seen Mother move that fast. She was three roofs over by the time he was at the edge of the first and she didn't slow down. He moved as best he could, the other two keeping up a little better. _He's recognized we're here and is backing down, but not leaving. Claiming no harm._

 _Observe, stall._ Came her reply.

They arrived in time to hear a voice say quietly, but in the night piercing way of the night walker, "If you're here to harm, I'll have your heads."

There was a bit of a silence, then one of the House chuckled and said, similarly, "That's our line."

The man went still, uncertain, looking around. "Who's House?" It was asked suspiciously, cautiously.

"Do you know the Houses of Lyrias?"

"Yes." He was still looking around cautiously. He could sense where they were all hiding further up on the roof of that building and on the others, as well as below in the street. He was definitely a night walker.

Thayne looked around and finally found the Queen. She was frozen, a little further back from the front line, and she had the same hunting look in her eyes. _What do you want us to do, Missus?_ he cautiously walked up to her, though from the front corner, not directly, wanting to let her see him without blocking her view of her prey.

 _Tell him the House._ Her eyes never left the man on the porch roof.

"Then, it's the House of the Queen of Night."

The man slightly relaxed, surprising many of them. "Why's the Queen protecting Mistress and Little Ryuu?"

The Queen tensed as if preparing to descend on her prey. _Tell him to step into better lighting for identification and get his name._

"Answering that depends on who you are. Let us see a face and hear a name, then we might tell you."

There was a pause. He looked around one more time, but the battle intent wasn't in the air any more. It was just parlay. He finally nodded, then did a backflip off the porch roof to land in a lit spot of snow on the ground. His fine cloak was marked with the sign of Wistal and there was a general intake of breath, anticipation rising from the watchers. The Queen even rose as if preparing for the descent, but held it.

A young adult hand reached up to remove the fox mask from his face, lifting it over his black hair that stuck up, cut short. The Queen slid to the edge of the roof and Thayne grabbed one arm and Henry the other, preventing her from going to ground. It wasn't safe just yet. His eyes had immediately moved to the motion, but couldn't see because of the torch light. When he faced them, Thayne could see his features were very similar to the Queen's. Darker of skin, just a little. Eyes of similar shape and probably tawny shade. The black hair made the resemblance all the more uncanny. She moaned slightly and his eyes narrowed to see better, trying to pierce to her position directly. He took a step to turn their direction and was ordered to stand still, being brought to remember there were many more around him than that one.

"I'm here to follow Mistress while she's here studying. I'd appreciate the pass for the next two years or so. ...Ah, and Master's given me my own work to do at the garrison as well. I've been up here before, but it's been a few years. Obi's the name." He'd spoken to the slight moan, not to the voice who'd been talking.

Thayne could feel the Queen shivering under his gloved hand as if she weren't clothed at all. He tightened his grip and she finally shook herself back. _Pass. Guard. If he's touched a city block will die._ _He. Is. Mine._ Never had Thayne felt such raw emotion from her. Not once. The burning desire, need, anguish seared him, standing as close as he was.

"You've the pass," her Voice said calmly.

"Thank you very much," Obi put his mask to his chest and bowed to the Queen, then turned to sit on the porch under the roof. Thayne was glad two of them were holding her. She nearly fell off the roof as she swooned. They carefully got her over to the opposite side of the roof, laid out until she was able to rouse enough they could get her two more roofs over and to the ground. They took her back to the safest of the House holes and put her to bed. She curled up under her blankets and sobbed herself to sleep. This was a side to her they had never seen. Not once...and not only them. None of the House, nor none of the Family either. Henry and Marcus went and asked since information was their charge and role.

Thayne watched over her, sitting near her. He knew those sobs well. They were the sobs of one who has lost a loved one, dear to their heart. His father had cried them, and so had he. When she would moan in her sleep, or reach out, he would put his hand in hers, or on her shoulder, just to let her know she wasn't alone. It was all he could do, and what she needed most. He knew that, had lived it, too. He worked out a few things while keeping vigil that night, but there was enough he didn't know that he couldn't work it all out. When she woke, he asked her. "Will you talk to him?"

She gave him the loneliest, most lost look he'd ever seen on a face, even of all the faces of those she'd comforted and brought light back to. It tore him to see it on hers. "I can't. If I do, he dies. If he dies, I die."

Thayne blinked. "Who?"

"The Earl."

Thayne's breath caught and he felt like he'd been punched. The one person that was untouchable made her feel this pain, separated her from her own source of light. Marcus and Henry decended to roost next to him. "What's the plan?" "How do we get him, and you, free?"

Thayne wanted to throttle them, but instead of defeat, her eyes lit up, just faint embers but the falcon was there. "Slowly... slowly... but not too far off...," she whispered. "It's been almost eighteen years. Only a few more... a few more and the noose can tighten by the hand of another... then... then freedom and reunion." She held that thought, then took a deep breath, shook and returned to looking at them, her face going hard, as hard as at the hunting lodge. "I won't be able to stay away all winter. When it gets bad, chase me off him until I cool off. Orders." The three of them nodded. "I need to understand the full relationship between him and Red, too. I know what I've heard from the castle, but I need to see it with my own eyes before I have to go, or I'll give it away when I'm back with the Earl again."

-o-o-o-

They spent the rest of that winter doing their usual routine, never crossing paths with Red or her guardian or the boy genius. But there were plenty of times she watched over them, many times the look in her eyes went back to that desire to have, the look on her face to one of loss and loneliness, and they had to chase her off, across roof tops until she was so tired they caught up and held her down until she'd cried herself to sleep. Those times were very difficult for all of them, and Thayne vowed that if ever he could make it possible for the two of them to be together, he'd protect the two of them with his very life, and even more, their relationship, whatever it was. The Queen of Night needed her Sun, and Obi was it. The House and the Family needed their Sun and that was her. It came as no surprise to him when, two years later, she named Obi Father and told the Family to protect him all across Wilant. From then on, Thayne did everything and anything she ordered him to do. She was finally on the last part of her hunt and _he_ \- Father, Obi, _her_ Sun - was the goal.

It thrilled him to be one of the first collected by Father. The first to be his guide and translator. The first to be called 'companion'. The first to follow after him. The first to be called to walk with him. To be the first to betray Mother's goal cut him like he'd never thought he could hurt again after his own mother's death. But he was then also the first to be forgiven, even if he couldn't forgive himself. The first to offer his life for the life of another for Mother's sake under Father's knife, wishing for his death, and being punished for that wish. The more he walked with Father, the more he understood why he was Mother's light, why she needed him walking with her, why that was worth protecting with everything he had. The evening he and his partner were called in to finally stand in her presence again, to be fully assigned to walk at Father's back and protect Mother's heart in doing so was the fulfilment of all he could desire, and had desired since she had give her light to him and his father when they needed it most.

"Second Son...what may I give you...?"

"Mother, it is my wish to follow Obi all of his days. ...Please grant this major wish to me, that I might protect the heart of Mother Ilena so that she may be strong for all of her Children."

"It will be as you desire. You may remain in your position for all of Obi's days. May you find happiness in living out your dream."

"I am happy, Mother. I'm even more happy because you are happy."

The light in her eyes and the joy and peace on her face for having Father by her side was worth all he could have ever wanted. After all, all he'd wanted the day he learned who _she_ was was to see his own mother standing next to his father again.


	8. Claiming Izana

[K+]

Izana's Claim

Wistal Castle was all astir. A second son had been born to the King and Queen, nine years after the heir. Wisterias found such things generally difficult so it was considered an occasion to celebrate nationally. Of course, with the age gap, the Crown Prince was finding it difficult as well. He was now old enough to resent that the Second Prince had come along, someone to remind him that _he_ was not allowed to choose. Perhaps it should have also made him realize that he now had someone else he could pass it off to, but that was not a thing to occur to him. His Father never passed off responsibilities, nor did his Mother. They assigned tasks to capable people, and he was the one they'd decided was going to be capable of being the next king. But, even still, shouldn't one have the opportunity to _choose_ if it was a thing they wanted to do? They'd only chosen it for him because he'd just happened to be born to them.

Like most kings, Izana's Father was an extremely busy man, and his Mother kept nearly as busy, not relaxing in her duties as Queen. However, they both took the time to be with him, or have him with them - which was more common. It was ostensably so that they could be sure he was being properly trained, but his Father made it abundantly clear, in private, that it was because he believed that even royalty should take proper care of their own immediate families. It was his Mother who was more cold and distant, having been raised to be the Crown Princess. For his part, Izana loved his parents. He'd learned early that the people he could truly love were rare and precious. He had a few bright memories of his Grandfather, King before his own Father. Of his calm steady strength that held the Wistera women firmly in check while at the same time doting on them - his wife and his two daughters.

One of his most precious memories of that honorable man was a brief vignette of sitting on his lap and being told, "Izana, some day I will pass this to your Father, and later, he will pass it to you - this precious treasure called a kingdom. The people of Clarines rely on us to see that the kingdom is as full of as much peace and stability as possible. Their lives are already difficult. We stand as a defence for them against their lives being miserable. Miserable people can't support the King, for they are too busy trying to even lift their heads. A King cannot rule the people without the people themselves standing ready to help him. Never look down on the efforts of even a single man. Make sure he can stand strong where you need him so that you can stand strong. And when you find someone who can look you in the eye and make you stand strong for them, don't let them get away. They will become your greatest treasures within this treasure."

Because he was a child, even for all he was Crown Prince, he was 'privileged' to get to see the weaker side of the people in the court and castle. He got to learn early, by both observation and tutelage by his parents, that there were many people in the world and the kingdom who had potential, a subset who had capacity, and even fewer that were truly suitable to standing so close to a King that they were truly the treasure his Grandfather had talked about. He took to watching very carefully those who his Grandfather, and then his parents chose to surround themselves with and the process they took to test those people and train them. By now, at nine, he was actually pretty good at predicting when someone was likely to end up in the final position they were being trained to or they were going to have to be placed lower than hoped. He still had a lot of work to do to understand just by looking at someone if they should be tried, and he was currently working on that.

Looking at his baby brother, there was no way to tell. He was tiny and only cried selfishly, taking up a lot of the attention of both his parents and the rest of the castle staff. It was a bit relieving, actually. All the maids, etc., now had someone else to put their mostly unwelcome attentions onto. He did miss his parent's attention, particularly his Mother's, but he could sense they were trying to do their best to not let him feel left out. His Father was making up for it to some degree by including him more in the other tasks of the running of the kingdom he was busy doing. Trading unnecessary attention by staff with essential training at the side of his Father was a perfectly acceptable trade. He'd much rather be kept busy doing essential things.

In the end, the Second Prince wouldn't have much choice either. Even he would be trained to being capable of his place in the Kingdom, because he also had been born to it. Because Izana's current personal study was people and their placement in the kingdom, when his Father asked what he wanted to know about his baby brother, he'd asked to know just what a Second Prince was supposed to do? Because he was pretty sure that in the end he would be the one to decide what to do with the boy when he was King, and because if he could he also wanted to have a hand in training him to being able to be one of those 'greatest treasures' his Grandfather had talk about, he paid very close attention to the answer, and dug as deeply as he could. So, between the two - being reminded he (and his brother) wouldn't get to chose, and wanting to understand how his brother fit into things like he understood his own placement - Izana was finding having him around at all just a little...difficult. They weren't necessarily compatible feelings.

In the middle of feeling these things, the castle was also busy getting ready for the birth celebration of the Second Prince, Zen. They were always held a few months after the actual birth so that the Queen could be recovered and so that any other honorable guests had time to arrive, travel being what it was. In the case of Clarines, they had the Queen's younger sister to wait for, coming all the way from the northwest country of Selicia, located on the other side of the high mountains. Zen had been born in May, it took nearly a month for the news to reach the Second Princess of Clarines who had married the Third Prince of Selicia. The mountains should be passable by then, so with a week, or two if generous, to prepare to leave, then another nearly month to arrive, the birth celebration would be for one week towards the end of July. They would likely stay for a month, since they hadn't been back since before the wedding when Izana had been about two. He didn't remember his Aunt, of course, which seemed somehow sad, nor her husband, but apparently they'd had a daughter that would be coming as well.

Izana wasn't sure how he felt about that either. Having to host another Royal child might not be very convenient. It would surely get in the way of his studies, but that was already going to be interrupted by the birth celebration. Maybe if there was another person to keep his attention, it might be alright...even if it was a girl. There was also the possibility that he could at least act on his lessons to date and see if he could test her, and see if he could tell when someone was young what kind of a person they might become. She was going to go away for another long time and he'd be able to see. He might even try an experiment. Could he teach her something at her current tender age of five and have it still be effective when she was old enough to be useful? It didn't matter if she was useful within his kingdom. She was in a kingdom herself at the Royal level. If she could be useful to her own country she'd be useful to him at some level. Sadly, as a cousin she wasn't marriable. If they could bring one of _her_ cousins, that would be more useful to the test, but having already had one alliance by marriage with Selicia, it shouldn't be necessary to have another for a while. Still, it was a rare opportunity, so Izana actually spent some time considering it as something to keep his mind occupied - particularly when his rebellion made him run to the rose garden to hide that he had been hit with the temporary frustration with having a little brother.

-o-o-o-

There was a frantic bustle when the carriages from Selicia arrived and Izana was caught up in it and deposited on the front step of the castle to stand with his parents. He was certainly old enough to know how to receive distinguished guests, so he stood politely and formally. He observed how his Father greeted his Aunt kindly, and his Mother with a bit of cool trepidation. His Uncle was received politely. His Aunt required a respectful hug and gave him a kiss on each cheek. His Uncle was easy to welcome, since he was willing to be a Prince facing a Prince, though he did have a kind smile and a bit of a twinkle in his eyes. His face had a bit of left-over worry that came trailing him from his home country, but he seemed willing to let it be set aside for the family gathering and celebration.

The daughter was an interesting bit. She walked up to Izana's Father, curtseyed very pretilly and perfectly, and in a young girl voice that sounded already used to commanding as the Princess she was, she said in almost accentless Clarinees, "King Uncle, it is a pleasure to meet you finally. I do hope our countries will continue to have pleasant relations into the future. Thank you for continuing to follow in your father-in-law's footsteps. The peace and stability of your land has been quite apparent on our journey to the castle. I look forward to our visit." She reached out her hands and the King took them in his. She pulled him down and he bent close to her. She kissed him on both cheeks and whispered something in his ear.

A smile appeared on his face and he looked at her with the expression he reserved for his immediate family. "Thank you, Princess Thailena. It is a pleasure to also meet you. I hope you will continue to enjoy visiting Clarines and our home."

Izana was almost jealous. In one greeting, his cousin - a five year old girl - had wrapped the King of a country around her little finger. She was only _five._ How was it she could quote Izana's Grandfather and even bring him up? He'd passed on shortly before her birth. Yet, it was something to make Izana's pride rise, that even a young princess of another country could recognize the efforts of the Kings of Clarines.

He stole a glance at her parents. They were looking at her calmly, but the sparkle in their eyes spoke to their own pride in her and of their love for their daughter. It almost made him wonder if they pandered to her. His Aunt's demeanor changed slightly and he looked back to see the Princess was now standing in front of his Mother. She had a piercing look in her eye that was almost a challenge. His Mother was looking at her with a very similar look. The Princess curtsied, and it was a lesser curtsey, almost that of an equal to an equal, but not quite there. "Queen Aunt. I am glad to meet you. As is proper of the Second Princess of Clarines, I'm sure that you will understand that I will be watching you closely while we are here. I'm sure some allowances can be made for your recent labor and delivery." Izana was aghast. The Princess was actually _challenging_ the Queen...for her right to _be_ the Queen.

His Mother's eyes widened and she looked at the little girl in some shock, then turned to look at her sister. "Did you put her up to this?"

"No, Queen Aunt," the little voice below her answered, and the Queen's eyes were drawn reluctantly back to her niece. "I have determined it for myself. It is right for the junior to strengthen the senior by reminding them of their requirements to their country so that they do not forget, nor falter." Her look was one of earnest seriousness.

"I see," the Queen replied. "Then I shall endeavor to remember that you have declared yourself to me. I do hope you will also endeavor to remember that the senior also judges the junior, to be sure she is fit to remain in her own position."

"Thank you, Queen Aunt. I'm sure a useless Princess is no good for anything but marrying to a sop who is easy to control - or a strong lord who can see she is properly trained against her will. You may rest assured I shall _never_ be either." The Princess curtseyed again and moved on. It wasn't until the golden tawny eyes were looking into his own blues that Izana recovered enough to realize he was next. He wasn't sure he really _was_ recovered sufficiently to welcome her. "Cousin Izana," her voice was calm, and she merely tipped her head to him. "I look forward to spending time with you. I hope to provide sufficient distraction for you from your own worries while I may. I'm sure your brother has already caused enough complications and our coming has made it worse. Please use this time, therefore, to be an opportunity to take a brief vacation from the normal stuffy stressors we Royal children must all put up with in this world we have been born into."

Izana really had nothing to say to this. He looked at her face to face, though she was so much shorter. "I am sure it will be an intriguing visit, to be able to observe my cousin, who has shown up understanding such things a mere year after I myself understood them."

"Then we shall get along famously, for I understood them over a year ago." The smile she gave him took his breath away and beamed so brightly he almost had to narrow his eyes. He was rather surprised to understand she assumed he meant he had understood them also at the age of four, not that he had only learned them a year ago at the age of eight.

The elders had given up at this point and were leading the way into the castle, but he knew it was proper to keep the conversation going, so he felt free to continue to ask his question as they followed the elders. "What was it that taught you these things?"

Her head tipped sideways as she considered it. "Observation, with clarification from my parents and uncles, though my Grandfather is willing to sit and help me understand. My tutors also read to me from the histories of kingdoms and theories on leadership and rulership." She looked up at him with a grin. "That's how I know our common Grandfather. Mother brought his book of The Proper Rulership of Kingdoms with her. It's my favorite book."

From in front of them, Izana's Mother said to her sister, "Really, Sister, you read that to her?"

"It was a defence to get her to go to sleep at night, when she started asking about the Grandfather she couldn't visit with and I ran out of personal stories."

"It rather backfired," the precocious princess's father said wryly, "I had to interrupt at midnight and make them both go to bed."

"We didn't read it at night any more. Instead we read it at the breakfast table and she explained it to us until she had it right," her mother said.

"Because you were teaching her?" the King asked.

"No. Because she was trying to understand. I do hope, Haruto, you are taking us to see Prince Zen? You've not brought him with you and I am dying to see him."

Thailena rolled her eyes at her mother, and gave a sympathetic grimace to Izana. He merely looked at her. He was getting used to the women visitors wanting to see his little brother first thing. He figured his parents left Zen in the nursery so that they _had_ to greet himself and his parents properly first, or they'd never be seen at all. He was feeling just a little put out. He didn't even know his Grandfather had written his words down.

"It must have been wonderful to have sat in the presence of Grandfather, Izana, and hear his words from his own mouth. I wish _I_ had been born early enough to have heard him teach. I would have asked him so many questions."

Izana was brought up short. It was true. He'd had something perhaps better than a book and a parent's memories in having the warm arms and lap, and the deep serene voice to hear and remember for himself. "It is one of my most treasured memories," he said honestly. Thailena nodded sagely. Likely it would have been one of hers as well. Still...he'd ask to have that book brought to him as well for him to confirm the missing details from his memory. He _had_ been only nearly four, after all. He probably had gaps that needed filling.

-o-o-o-

"Did you sleep well, Cousin Thailena?" Izana asked politely.

"Well enough. The castle is very nicely supplied and the bed was comfortable," She replied just as politely. They were conversing over breakfast at the end of the table, having been sat next to each other.

Izana was still having just a little trouble. Either she seemed just a very short nine year old (or perhaps twenty-eight year old), or seemed like a five year old that had sprouted wings and suggested she had come from the tops of the mountains just to see how humans lived, she was so odd. He was sure he must have been just as odd, though. He could remember asking the same sorts of questions and saying the same sorts of things she kept saying when he had been her age. He wondered if it was normal, now that he could see it from the outside perspective. He was getting the idea it probably wasn't, though there weren't too many other young children to compare it to. That made him think of a question to keep the conversation going. "Do you spend much time with your Selician cousins?"

"Oh, yes. We have the same tutors...or, well, we did until recently. I've surpassed them in most subjects, except the Crown Prince. He and I now share tutors, though I think that won't last much longer. He's been giving me jealous looks. I think for the sake of peace in the kingdom I'll have to ask for my own tutors. I really have no interest in competing for the throne and dividing the kingdom. Such wars only bring chaos and weaken a nation. I'd rather assist where I may. ...But we all are together in the castle - Grandfather, King Uncle and Queen Aunt, the Crown Prince and his sister and brothers, Prince Uncle and Princess Aunt and their children, and then Father, Mother, and me. We each have our own suites of course, and the castle is very large and sprawling...actually it's quite different than this, but we're in a warmer climate. I think you'd enjoy the architecture if you could come visit some time. We'd love to host you and your family."

"I would like that," he said, almost automatically. For all it might be good to see the neighboring country, he'd almost rather go just to talk to her, truth be told. "Perhaps there will be an opportunity. If not as a family, then at least when I'm old enough to go away to school." He looked up from his plate to look at her. "We have the University at Lyrias, which is across the border from Selicia, you know. While I'm there, or when I graduate, perhaps I can come and visit then."

"That would be a good time," she nodded, agreeing. "I'm trying to talk Father into letting me go there for my own education. I understand they are excellent at teaching researching methods and I would love to know all the things that are in the library. We have an excellent library and university as well, but I'll have it all read in another two years, I would think, if even that long, given the rate I've been going to this time."

Izana almost considered it a boast, but then asked instead, "Has that been the new evening reading material, then?"

"Yes. It is better material to go to sleep to, as it is interesting but not as exceedingly important to understanding my role and position." She looked at him just as earnestly as she had looked the afternoon before.

Izana almost wanted to smile. "I've found it the same, myself. We have a number of older history books here in the castle library, but I'm looking forward to the research papers in Lyrias as well."

"Well, if you'll send me a letter and let me know when you'll be allowed to go to Lyrias, perhaps I could come at the same time," Thailena said lightly. "Then I might be able to talk my Father into agreement since I would also be coming to strengthen relations between the countries." She leaned over and said confidentially, "But I won't suggest my Crown Prince Cousin to come - the other one. He needs a lot more years of tutelage before he could be considered worthy of such an adventure." She frowned, "And...the court needs him to stay or he might lose their loyalty. It's become rather a bother of late, actually."

Izana raised an eyebrow. That was probably a state secret she'd just let out. If the court of Selicia was unstable, it would affect all of the surrounding nations. He put his elbow on the table and leaned on his hand so the adults couldn't hear him ask, "Are you sure you wanted to admit that to me?" He'd just been given an excellent opportunity to test her, trying out his own lessons.

Thailena looked at her plate, eating, just the same as his own mother would have when asked such a question - and she was his consumate example. When the fork was removed from her mouth, she calmly said, without looking at him, "I am a Princess of two countries. It is my duty to see that both are sufficiently protected." Then she looked at him with the same piercing look his mother would have given. "What you choose to do with the information is up to you, isn't it?"

 _Gods_ , she was testing _him_. He couldn't help the wry little smile as he returned to his own calm eating. "I'm sure that keeping the peace is well worth any sacrifice, when it is to the benefit of as many as possible, and that early warnings so that those protections can be implemented as soon as possible are to be appreciated. However to say such things to the wrong ears, unnecessary extreme measures would have to be taken regardless of preference."

"Well, to who's ears have I said them, then?" she asked.

"...I will consider it," he said, still humored, and thus wanting to tease just a bit.

"Well...I do hope you'll consider it properly. After all, if I've just told the monkey, then I need to revise and find someone who can appropriately use such information."

Izana looked up at her in sudden surprise, his mouth still open and his fork half-way to his lips. He could feel his eyes were wide as well. "...You...!" he put his fork down forcefully as he sat upright. Her eyes glittered back and her face was lightly mocking. It infuriated him. She'd made him lose his composure, and mocked him at the same time. Without thinking, he reached out a hand to grab her. She was dancing out of reach before he could grab her, her small body leaving her chair rapidly. He was up and chasing after her before he thought of the consequences, her mocking look drawing him in his desire to see it gone from her face.

"Izana!" his stern Mother's voice sounded from towards the center of the table.

He whipped around and froze, standing to attention. He felt Thailena slip back into her seat, almost unnoticed in her leaving and returning because she was so small. He grit his teeth, grinding them together, working hard to bring his face back under control and guessing he was losing that battle as well. "Sorry, Mother," he answered, bowed and slid back into his seat. Her glare was from him moving from the table at all before they'd been excused, not because she had any idea of what was going on at this far end of the table.

Izana took the time to eat and calm back down, punishing his little cousin with silence. She seemed unphased by it, eating calmly next to him. He was about to decide she was still mocking him in doing so when she quietly said, "Izana...I don't know what you can do in the near future...probably nothing...but, if you'd be willing to at least let me write letters to you, I'd appreciate it. You are the only cousin of mine who has even taken a comment such as that seriously."

He sat eating in shock for a time after that. Such a state, if not handled immediately and appropriately, ended very badly, one way or the other. For none of her other cousins to not understand... "Not even the Crown Prince?" he finally asked, soberly and as quietly.

She shook her head, looking down at her lap, and a hand twisted her napkin. Her voice was pained. "In all the castle, only my own father and mother will listen to me. The rest merely humor me. They say that either nothing is wrong or that I am fanciful and it is the way it has always been, to have dissenting voices to keep things properly considered from all angles - a mere excuse to continue to be seditious, rather than an attempt to truly understand the proper functioning of a governing body. It is worrisome. That's why I was so glad to see that Grandfather's teachings are still being followed here in Clarines. Perhaps it will not be quite so bad if your family can help prop up my father's." She looked up at him with pain in her eyes. "If you can think of a way to help your Father help my Uncle...I..." she bit her lip, then whispered, "It's all I can do."

Izana felt her pain and understood it. She really was only five. A child had very little clout in the end. He put his hand softly on her head. "I, also, am very young, but I will see what I can do. My Father does treat me with respect, the same as your own. Perhaps I can say it in such a way that he will be able to help without stepping in unnecessarily."

She looked into his eyes, then nodded. "Thank you, Izana."

"And, if you'd write to me, I think I'd like that. I'll try to write encouraging letters back," he promised. (He later got a letter back saying, _Try harder._ It turned out letter writing was harder than he thought.)

-o-o-o-

"Cousin Izana, Mother has suggested that I ask if you would be willing to show me about the castle. I am quite used to having free run of ours, but she felt it wouldn't be quite so appropriate for me to explore on my own." The gold tawny eyes looked up at him with a sparkle of interest and there seemed to be an air of almost agitation to her, as if she'd sat still for quite long enough, thank you. Given her age and intelligence, it was probably true.

"Certainly. As you said yesterday, the birth celebration and your family's arrival have disturbed the normal routines sufficent that we may as well keep you pleasantly occupied."

Thailena gave him a look. "And yourself. I've intrigued you enough, I think."

Izana had to bite his tongue and reign himself in again. She really was as bad as his mother, but to take it from a five year old was...irritating and difficult. Really. For all she looked like her father - darker skin, sharper features, long straight black hair and those golden eyes - she very much had the temperament his Grandfather had tolerated and controlled in his own Wisteria women. It made Izana glad he wouldn't ever have to marry that temperament himself. It would be enough for him to manage a kingdom and a younger brother. To have to manage a wife like that would be more than he could bear, most likely.

When he asked what she would like to see, she just airly answered, "Everything," so they just began walking. In one corner of his brain he was laying out the map so they _would_ actually see 'everything' and end up where he wanted to end. Thailena suddenly stopped and turned around. Izana stopped also, curiously looking at her. She was standing and staring at the people following the two of them.

Normally Izana didn't pay too much attention to the attendants. They always followed him, corrected, scolded, occasionally tried to teach or suggest, and he tried his best to ignore them...unless they actually said something useful or necessary. Ilena was staring first at the tallest of the three boys standing behind them, and the oldest. "Ah, that's my aide and babysitter, Michael Barret. My Father assigned him to me last year," Izana introduced him.

Michael bowed. "Princess." Thailena had been staring at him soberly. At his greeting, she considered him, then walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his legs and hugged them. His eyebrow raised, but then his look went kindly and he put his hand on her head. She released him and looked at him again to see his expression. She gave a satisfied nod and backed away again to look at another boy, the middle aged of the three who were following the two royal children.

Izana had been rather shocked at her reaction to Michael. Displays of affection in Clarines were very rare and infrequent...and between royalty and staff nonexistent. Not to mention such a thing would never be a first greeting. When he thought about it, though, even he and his family had been greeted more physically than normal for his family's expectations. Perhaps it was normal for Selicia...though she hadn't greeted him (or his mother) that way. It rankled slightly, actually, and that irritated him to have that reaction. So it was with irritation that he realized who the second boy was, though perhaps he wasn't particularly irritated with that boy specifically.

When Izana didn't introduce the boy in her sights, and he didn't introduce himself either, Thailena looked back at Michael. "The King felt that it would be wise to have a second guard for you, Princess, who understands the castle. Your Mother requested it be someone young. Imori Daed has been assigned to watch over you while you are here."

Thailena stepped up directly in front of Imori and looked up into his face comandingly. He lowered his eyes and bowed to her. She reached up on tiptoe to lift his head enough to look into his eyes. He looked a little startled, his eyes going wide, then through so many different emotions that Izana was rather shocked. He told his entire life story with just his eyes, ending with shame. Thailena put both hands on Imori's cheeks and held his eyes just a little longer, ending with a firm nod that confused all of them. She released Imori, then turned her back on the three boys behind them and started walking again, as if having completed her testing. Izana wondered if she had read him like that at their first meeting. He felt a bit defeated. She probably had.

He looked at the third boy and received a rather resigned smile. She already knew her own guard, who looked like her older brother, so hadn't bothered to even introduce him. He bowed politely, "Petroi Somas, Highness."

"Do all Selicians look like you?"

"Yes, Highness," he answered politely. "Princess Tatiana is highly regarded in Selicia, for she stands out as a bright flower among the people of Selicia." His Selician accent was warm and soft. Probably he had been learning Clarinees along with his young charge, if for no other reason than to keep up with her.

Izana got them all walking again since he was preventing two boys from fulfilling their required duty to follow the Princess and she had stopped and turned back with her hands on her hip, her foot out and tapping slightly in impatience. Considering that all Wisterias had white hair and very blue eyes, it wasn't surprising his Aunt stood out if all of Selicia was as dark as the three he'd seen so far. His father had dark hair and warm eyes, but he had taken his wife's name when he'd been married to her, since she was the Crown Princess at the time. Izana knew the lines of his Father as well as he knew the lines of his Mother. It was good to know where you came from, and who might try to gain favor just because of blood so they could be cut off early if necessary.

By the same reasoning, Imori shouldn't be following after him and his cousin. The name Daed carried with it an assumption of bad blood, though his father had just finished cleaning that up. He did have to wonder why his father had chosen him...other than the fact that Imori _did_ have the skills to protect anyone, even at his young age. Michael didn't seem to be to stressed out about it, so likely he was restraining Imori, and he didn't think for a minute that his Uncle would let a weak child guard _this_ Princess.

They explored the castle together all morning, then were called in for lunch and made to show themselves off to the lords and ladies of the castle. Thailena stood for it as well as he did, and just like him was glad to be free of it when they were finally released, saying they weren't done with the tour yet so would return to it. Izana sighed to himself at the look in the Parent's eyes - all four of them. Pride and humor that they had such 'grown up' children, and the same light of confusion that seemed to follow them since the adults couldn't quite understand why they weren't more like what children were supposed to be like.

"For goodness sake!" Thailena burst out irritably when they were far enough away. "We were born to have to be adults. What else can they be thinking? If they wanted us to act like 'normal' children, then they should have been 'normal' parents."

Izana turned his head and laughed a snort of a laugh. When he looked back she was looking at him just a little surprised. "What? I can't be a child on occasion as well? You only said exactly what I was thinking."

She got an immediate twinkle in her eye and her face lifted just a little and he could feel the tease coming. "Well...I did wonder if you even knew how myself, until you cracked under the pressure of a younger child getting under your skin." She gave him a full blown grin now. "I win." She was watching him but he couldn't help himself again. He gave chase and she ran, laughing until she ran to Imori and grabbed hold of his legs and peeked out from behind them to look at Izana.

He stopped short and scowled at her, his face going just a little red. Imori's face was going white. Izana didn't look at it, instead he turned his back suddenly and stalked off. "Are you going to come see the rest of the castle or not?" he demanded.

He could hear little footsteps pattering after him until she was walking next to him again, her hands tucked behind her back. "It really is a beautiful castle," she said calmly, as if they had only been strolling along to begin with.

He wanted to laugh again, or tickle her until she relented. He chose to be as polite as she was. "Thank you."

"And really, the lords and ladies today were much calmer and kinder than at my house. Your gossip was quite lovely to hear. We featured nearly as much as the new Prince did. I presume he's been the major talk of the castle for some time now, even before he was born."

"Yes, Zen has been," Izana said casually. "It's been rather nice, though, not to be the center of it all myself. It means that as I walk I don't have to watch myself quite so much. They're too busy turning their heads his way. If I want the attention, I just have to go and attach myself to my Mother and the castle is abuzz that the Crown Prince went to visit his little brother, until the next time he wails, or is visited by someone more intruiging."

"Well, I guess we count as more intruiging, then. Papa and Mother were just as much featured as Zen was."

"True," Izana said. "I think we've picked up more than we might have just because we've been seen together this morning."

Thailena nodded and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Do you want to see how high we rate if we both go visit him together? I haven't been yet, you know. I'd like to see if we can beat out Papa and Mother."

Izana looked at her for a moment. "Do you really entertain yourself this way at home?"

Thailena looked at him with a tipped head. "Yes, but I would think you do it more here. You haven't got any one else to play with, after all."

Izana blinked at her, then looked at her darkly. "Ah!" she held up a little hand. "Don't lie and deny it. It's one of the only ways Royalty _can_ play, and we both know it will be essential for the future. When 'normal' children play, a lot of it is doing things that they will use as adults - like playing house and such like. Royal 'play' is the same. We both know we'll use it later and becoming excellent at it now is important. If we wait, we'll have wasted time." Izana looked at her and felt just like the adults. Surprised she understood, wondering at her that she would even bother at her age, and slightly proud that she'd managed to figure it out. "So...do you want to see?" she asked.

"Okay," he agreed, "but not today. Today we still need to finish the tour. You're going to be here a long time. We'll be bored after a while, you know. That would keep us entertained later."

"Ohhh," she looked enlightened and nodded. "Okay." She went back to looking around. He looked away from her slowly. He was wondering just what he was going to be able to teach her. She'd already turned everything he'd thought of upside down. He was going to have to revise now that he knew what kind of a creature he had available to test. Really...he wanted to test if she would come back to him if the possibility existed. She was already a treasure any King should want to have, he was pretty sure. Particularly since it sounded like her Selician cousin had no idea what he had in his little cousin already. In the back of his head, he started formulating the plan he would use to draw her back.

-o-o-o-

The height of the festivities of the birth celebration for Zen was his presentation to the court, followed by a presentation to the city of Wistal and the people of Clarines. Izana was terribly embarrassed when it included showing his little brother off naked for all to see. Mostly because it meant he'd had the same indignity. He might have understood it, but that didn't make it better. Surely there were better ways to prove to people that a son or daughter had been born. From that mid-day high ceremony and celebration, they went into a sort of seclusion as a family into an inner set of rooms, both the Selician Polov's and the Clarines Wisteria's, with all servants withdrawing.

Thailena was quiet that day, from the beginning. Izana knew why. They'd both been told that morning by their Mothers that after the ceremony, Zen would be marked as a child of the ruling family of Clarines, and that Thailena would have her mark changed. Izana had been told by his Mother not because he would have a change, but so he would know the family secret for when he had his own children. Izana knew about his own mark, of course, but he couldn't remember anything about how it was given. Thailena seemed to have a slight clue, given her reserved demeanor for the day, but there was no time to play and talk beforehand.

When they arrived at their predetermined location, there was a light tea set out. The King spoke with the Selician Prince while Izana's Mother bounced her infant son on her knee and chatted with Izana. His Aunt took her daughter into a side room, talking to her quietly. Thailena's face was worried and drawn, though she looked like she was trying to be courageous. When the door was closed, a movement caught Izana's eye. Thailena's father had returned his attention from his wife and daughter to his host, and his face had the court neutral expression on it. Izana went on just a little higher alert. The Prince didn't look happy but as of yet he hadn't said anything. Izana was pretty sure he doted on his daughter, so was a bit concerned.

Thailena and her mother returned about fifteen to twenty minutes later. Thailena's face was very pale and there was a sheen of sweat on her brow and her lower lip was swollen, like she'd been biting it. Izana himself felt a little worried. Her Father turned all of his attention to his daughter. "Are you alright, 'Lena?" he asked.

"Yes, Papa," she answered bravely. She moved slowly, however, almost a hitch in her step and her father frowned. He held out his hands to her, but she only moved slightly closer and gave a brief curtsey. His wife stepped in and defended her and Izana could see the shadow getting darker on the Prince's face. He felt like holding his breath. They hadn't told the Prince of Selicia? Couldn't that start an international incident?

Izana's mother urged him to go see to Thailena while she stood up and went into the same room with Zen. The visiting Prince watched after them until the door was closed, then he turned to the King and his wife. "I think that as her Father I should have been informed, and received the right of refusal. You have marked her for Clarines without the consent of Selicia." Izana's heart sank.

"It was agreed upon by the King of Selicia," his own Father said, his own voice also cool. "Until now she was the only successor to the Crown Prince of Clarines."

Izana had already gone obediently to the side of Thailena, now she moved to stand very close to him, and the expression on her face was one of fear and great concern as she watched the two men with them like he did. He shifted ever so slightly to put her still closely by his side, but to stand slightly in front of her, to protect her. It was too late to think that it might have been an act to further take the Daughter away from the Father. The dark eyes immediately locked onto Izana's and he froze slightly, then swallowed. "I'm sorry, Prince Raoul, that this was done without your consent and knowledge. I, too would be very angry to find out after the fact that it had been done. We are still together in the place where a thing may be done to correct our error and allow Princess Thailena's full heritage to be acknowledged." He couldn't take his eyes from the angry man in front of him, but he also couldn't help but protect Thailena. He was unable to see both Thailena's Mother and his own Father both go pale.

Cries of pain of an infant finally reached such a volume that they seeped out of the room Zen was in. Izana himself finally went a little pale. He might have just subjected Thailena to more pain than he had understood. The Prince made a gesture. "Let me see."

His wife obediently took Thailena's hand and pulled her gently, so she could move slowly, to stand in front of her father, then undid the back of her dress, which looked specially made so that the lower back was easily accessible. Izana could see Thailena's face. She was holding her hands and arms around herself, holding the top of her dress up, and her face was as white as her darkened skin would allow it to go. She was tearing up as her Mother moved the fabric away from the right side of her lower back and pulled up a bandage. But, as Izana looked at her, she looked up into his eyes, tears threatening, and mouthed, "Thank you."

That was all he could remember from that point until she was gone into that room again. Zen was in his Mother's arms, his own tears now calming down as she nursed him, holding him carefully in her left arm so the right side wasn't touched. He walked slowly up to his brother and reached out. His Mother allowed him to pull aside the blanket and look to see. It was a perfectly formed falcon, carrying a sheaf of wheat, with two vertical lines underneath it, carved in ink in the skin. His was crowned and carried a sword, with no lines under it. It was the mark of the Crown Prince. His Mother had the same mark. The one he was looking at now would have been what had been on Thailena until this moment. She would have received a third line, and the falcon mark changed somewhat as well.

He went cold and hard. It was right for her to now be third in line. To have had her remain second would have set the two countries at odds in ways that were dangerous to the stability of both countries. Only if there had truly been no other heir to Clarines would it be proper for her to ascend the throne. Her changes had been necessary. She hadn't been thanking him just for preventing an argument, or a present falling out. It had been for the full future of both kingdoms. As the weight of that understanding fell into his gut, he swore he would have her. She had understood the long term consequences of her own position and had been willing to go through the pain to heal relations presently, and into the future - at the age of five. There were enough children of Selicia. They didn't understand what they had, except her father, and Clarines - _he_ \- could surely use her to the benefit of the entire country.

When she came back out, her eyes were red from crying, though she'd been quiet enough to not be heard in the room the rest were in, and even more tears were dripping from her eyes as she moved. He did have to feel sorry for her, that her Father hadn't been told at the beginning so she wouldn't have had to pay the price for the thoughtlessness of the adults in their lives. Most of the adults were also looking very sorry. Zen was comforted by then and was awake. Thailena's Mother took her over to see Zen, and the Queen showed her the mark he'd been given, though they hid it a bit from her Father. Then they let her hold Zen. The way she looked at him, running her small fingers through his fuzzy white hair made Izana just a bit jealous. He hadn't been allowed to hold Zen often himself. He tried to not think of it. They were feeling bad for her sake.

He was watching her face to see that she recovered, as much as the adults were. As she looked into the little Second Prince's eyes, her own took on a look that made Izana feel sudden jealousy. Didn't she know she was going to be _his_ , not his little brother's. He watched her lift Zen to her, to hold him close and she whispered to him and kissed the side of his head. She breathed a final relaxing breath, then smiled. Izana was almost angry to see it. Her eyes opened and she was looking at him. She went suddenly still and then calm. Carefully she carried Zen back to his Mother, then turned and walked painfully to stand in front of Izana.

He made his eyes bore into hers, wanting to make her his with his will alone. She reached up and winced in pain. He did still also feel bad about the pain, so he went down to her level. She wrapped her arms around him, in the way he'd been wanting to make her, and held him to her, pulling his head to her shoulder. His heart was still hard, taking this as his due, because she owed it to him, when she spoke to him quietly in his ear.

"It is okay to be jealous, Izana, for you are a boy as well as a prince and it is a heavy burden to bear, but it is one only you can carry. When you are king, remember that it is okay at times to just be a man. Then, when you have rested a bit, you can pick up the burden again. Zen and I will always be with you, to support you, when you need to be just a boy or a man, and always as you are prince and king."

It took a bit for Izana to wrap his brain around what she had said. The last part was understood first. She'd promised she would stand with him, and that she would help Zen to stand with him as well. She'd given him what he wanted. But...the first part, she had a misunderstanding he thought at first...then he realized she had answered both of the sides of the difficulty he was having. She had also answered why he was feeling rebellious about his role. Suddenly he loved his cousin with all his heart, probably more than he loved any other person. He wrapped his own arms around her, mindful of her wounds. In this treasure, he had one who could understand that he needed to be able to chose, needed to be able to find himself, and would support him both at those times, and when he was King. In _this_ person was the knowledge and strength that would let him be fully himself and fully supported as that person. There was no greater treasure in all the world - especially for a King.

Izana took a breath, then another deeper one. When he finally let her go, he no longer had any doubts about himself or his position. He would work hard to be worthy to have her stand by his side. It still probably wouldn't be as his wife, though now he really did wish he could, but wherever she could stand, she would. He would watch her and see what she chose. He would train Zen to stand by his side where he was needed, and together, the three children of Clarines would spend their generation leading the country in peace and stability. "Thank you, Thailena." He meant it with all his heart. She looked into his eyes, then nodded and gave him the kindest smile he'd ever seen.

-o-o-o-

From that time on, Izana could honestly say he had fun with his cousin. He wanted to. He wanted to finally be just Izana and with her he could be. He chased her when she teased him and even teased her back. He didn't mind so much when he got into trouble. He would go back to not getting into trouble when she was gone again...mostly. He was also learning just how much trouble he could get into and be forgiven. She already seemed to know it and it was a good education for him. Rather like the 'playing' to learn she had taught him about earlier. They had fun 'playing' the gossip chain, and they had fun discussing their Grandfather's philosophy on rulership of kingdoms. For the rest of the time she was at Wistal Castle they were nearly inseparable. He wondered so many things about her and her future. What would she chose to do? What would she show him she was learning even further? What interesting topics would come in her letters? Would they be able to meet again for schooling? So many things he wondered as he also worked on understanding himself better so he could become more and someone worthy to have her standing to help.

One of the days, she lifted her head suddenly and said, "Izana, stay here, I'll be right back. There's something that needs a bit of attention." She left, her two guards trailing her. He sat there a bit nonplussed that she would leave his side so suddenly, but he waited obediently. It wasn't like her to leave without reason, after all. When she returned, her face was cooly composed and soon after they returned to their topic she was relaxed with him again. He didn't give it much further thought at that point.

A few days later, they were walking the gardens together when she began to direct their steps rather firmly. He could hear voices as they approached a place he knew benches were set. They came around the corner of a high bush and there was both of their Mothers sitting with a few maids and guards, Zen on a blanket waving his arms and legs in the sun, his nurse standing close by. The looks on the faces of the Queen and her sister weren't quite so friendly. Rather they were closed and cold. He stopped. Thailena marched directly up to the two women and looked at his Mother in the face. "I believe I've already told you that you should not bait your sister. You are treading on loose soil. Control your tongue, or I shall open this can of worms to the King. This is your final warning. A Queen who cannot control the urge to tease mercilessly is not much of a Queen at all. ...Am I clear?"

Izana could see his Mother was taken aback and she properly apologized, but he could also see she still wasn't taking Thailena seriously. He frowned slightly in worry. He didn't think at all that Thailena threatened lightly. The words had already stuck with _him_. Thailena didn't often directly say what she wanted or thought, but then perhaps with him she didn't need to. He would remember that was one of her pet peeves, though, he decided. After all they both teased each other, but it certainly didn't get to the point of 'merciless'. He didn't know his Mother was quite capable of it either, though she would tease, certainly. When Thailena was sure the Queen understood, she kept them there playing with Zen.

Izana was a bit surprised that she would stay to listen and follow through to make sure she was being obeyed. He watched his Mother and listened to her, the same as he knew Thailena was. When she slipped up, he was the one to warn her with a simple, "Mother...," and a specific look. His Mother pulled up short and blinked at him, then casually turned the topic again. Izana was sure both he and his Mother would prefer he did it than the Princess had to again. They stayed until the Queen left for other business. Izana walked up to his Aunt. "I would also appreciate it if you didn't bait my Mother either. I am sure, as her Sister, you have had as much practice as she has had in quarrelling in this castle. You are both adults now. Please act like it."

His Aunt bowed her head slightly. "I will endeavor to pay closer attention to my own words and actions."

He nodded and turned to collect Thailena up again and go off to other pursuits. Somehow he felt she was rather satisfied with the procedings as a whole. They stopped by the pharmacy that afternoon to learn some rather fascinating things about what they were doing there.

"Izana," Thailena said, as they walked back for dinner, "do you know? Did our Mothers fight often when they were young?"

"I've heard they have been both headstrong from the beginning, and therefore difficult. Grandfather was firm enough to keep them in check, but he doted on them enough to not give them other pursuits and distractions when they were together." He looked at her to judge how much he could say. "The rumor is that he married the younger off to a different, far country in order to separate them far enough to stop the fighting and quarrelling."

He was grateful with Thailena didn't seem to take offense. He had rather thought that might be the case since she understood the rumor mill, but it was her own Mother they were talking about. "Well, I wouldn't have thought it since at Selicia she is the calmest and most reserved, but after listening to them this last week, I can see that at least here in her childhood home she is used to some level of it." She sighed, "It frustrates me just enough that she isn't any more aware of herself, really. It is more than just two siblings coming together again. Mother represents Selicia now, too."

Izana went still inside, trying to understand her words. They made him sober. It reminded him of the episode between their Fathers at the time of the marking.

Two evenings later they were having a somewhat intimate dinner as a family. It was towards the end of the meal and the adults were lightly drinking more than eating now. Izana and Thailena were playing quietly in the room, having been excused from the table, but not from the meal in general, when Thailena's head suddenly came up and a firm look came on her face. As her lips tightened together and she stood to look at the table, Izana rose, concerned. The voices of their Mothers were coming to them clipped and almost angry. Izana glanced at Thailena and the spark in her eyes made him wary. He stayed with her as she marched up to the table. She curtseyed politely to the King and then her Father. "Excuse me, I'll take it from here," she said to them. Izana could see that both men were a bit not sure how to handle the women, and just as unsure how to handle the very small woman who'd come up to them.

Thailena walked up to stand before the Queen and First Princess. Very coldly she said, "I believe I've already told you that the next time I had to step in, I would bring it to the attention of the King." Her eyes were sparking at the Queen, though already angry at her sister she wasn't in much of a mood to be lectured to by a five year old. Thailena's eyes spit fire. "You. Are. A. Queen. - Of _Clairines_. Do you, or do you not want peace to reign in your country? You have been speaking not with a mere sister, but with a Princess of Selicia, and in the presence of her Lord Husband." Her voice was fire and ice simultaneously.

"You, Princess Tatiana, represent the entire nation of Selicia to the court of Clarines. Do you intend on creating a rift that your Father attempted to not have appear in the first place by his placing you in that country at the side of a Royal Husband of Selicia? If the two of you cannot learn to abide each other calmly, then the two of you will begin a war that was not necessary." Her voice got deadly quiet. "If you do that, then both of you are only fit to be hung by your people, for failing to do your proper duty, and I shall be the first to renounce you both. You _will_ apologize properly this time, and will watch yourselves from now on. If we have been here at the castle for too long, then spend time apart. We do not need to be in each other's presence constantly while we are here. Even in Selicia where the whole of the Royal Family lives all in the same castle, we do not spend every waking minute together of every day. That only brings conflict. Rest from each other's presence for a time here and there. There is no harm in it...but there has begun to be harm in constantly trying to perform for each other." She glared between the two women. "Am I clear?"

They both blinked eyes that had been staring at the Princess. "Yes, Thailena," her Mother said. "I'm sorry to not have understood." She turned to the Queen and bowed her head. "I apologize, Your Majesty, for provoking you unnecessarily."

Izana's Mother was having difficulty. It was sticking in her craw that she would have to bow her head to a young girl. But Thailena's words had the weight of truth and rightness. Izana, standing behind Thailena, shifted and cleared his throat. When his Mother looked at him, he folded his arms and also glared at her. He'd already participated after all, and knew she should have given heed from earlier. Her eyes went wide with surprise. When he opened his mouth to speak to her, because she was taking too long, she bowed her head. "My apologies, Princess Thailena, for not heeding your earlier warnings." She turned to her sister. "I, also, apologize for provoking you in return, Princess Tatiana. Perhaps tomorrow you would like to take your husband and daughter into Wilant City to tour the docks, or the market?"

"Yes, perhaps that would be a good thing," Izana's Aunt replied. "It has been a very long time since I've been able to visit my favorite places in the city."

Thailena turned away, still with an angry expression, and faced the two husbands. The scowl on her face convicted them as well. As with her Mother, her Father responded first with a bow of his head. With her full attention on the King, her face going court cold, she bowed. "Please forgive the necessary scolding, King Uncle. I do hope I won't have to do it again." Her words and tone of voice clearly said that she would be expecting him to do his part as well.

When his Father's eyes flicked to him, Izana kept his face court neutral. "I will expect so," the King answered cooly, convicting everyone.

"Please excuse us," Izana said with a bow to his Father. He took Thailena's hand and walked her out of the room to help her cool off. He was rather glad he'd gotten to stand behind her and not have to be any more of a participant than he had been.

Later that evening, the King came to visit Izana in his quarters. He leaned on the door frame, his arms folded. "What do you see in her, Izana?"

Izana raised an eyebrow and decided he'd better answer carefully. "I see someone who, with a few years to better understand people and their motivations and how to speak a little less directly so as to not cause offence, could be a very useful person to support even a King."

"Is that what you're doing? Trying to begin to train her to support you?"

"Yes, Father," he answered honestly, keeping his face bland. "She is quite wasted on the Selician court who is blind to her strengths and deaf to her words, save her parents, as you saw this evening."

"According to whom?"

"Her. I assume you can corroborate it with your own spies in that court," he said dismissively, but in her defense. "Perhaps they can also tell you what she says in their ears. I would like to know it myself so I can keep track of her growth." He raised an eyebrow to see if his Father would be willing.

The King looked at him for a while, then said, "Fine. I'll have all the Selician spies report directly to you. Don't get us involved in a war. We only observe and defend our own country."

Izana looked at his Father carefully. It wasn't that he was surprised to be given a high reponsibility. It was that he suspected his Father was giving him a very difficult test. He calculated, then narrowed his eyes and calculated further, then nodded. "It's in line with my desires. I'll see she makes it home."

His Father raised an eyebrow. "You'll call this place 'home' for her?"

Izana looked at his Father calmly, then realized the answer. "No. _I'm_ home."

His Father laughed a bit, then asked, "As in 'husband'?"

Izana glared at his Father. " _You_ might have to be married to one. _I_ hope to never have to be."

His Father shook his head. "I'm not sure you can do both, Izana," he said quietly.

Izana leaned back against his headboard. "I don't expect it to be easy. She already has committed to helping Zen before she helps me and that's hard enough. But it will be sufficient to have her there, I think. I just need to know she's supporting me."

The King straightened and looked at him sternly. "Then see that you've properly prepared your heart before you see her again, and that you've picked a proper Queen before then as well. It may be of some help to have already set your mind by then - maybe. Stay true to your board, Izana. Your treasures can become your worst threats if you don't keep them where they belong."

Izana bowed his head. "Yes, Father."

-o-o-o-

It wasn't the last time she butt heads with his Father, but the next time was the last. Izana wondered if some of it was to teach him how to deal with her, but in the end, he still wasn't sure he agreed with it. They were about three days to leaving Wistal Castle to return home. Her Father opened with, "King, the lad you chose to follow my Daughter has served well and has won the favor and trust of my Daughter. Would you be willing to let me take him with us when we go to follow her with the guard I've already set? Then both kingdoms may watch over her to see she is safe."

Izana had been a bit surprised at the request and he looked at his father. The King calmly answered, "I'm sorry, that will not be possible. He has other requirements that he must fulfill after this assignment."

The Selician Prince bowed his head. "Certainly, if he has a requirement to the King of Clarines, then that requirement must be met. Would he be able to be sent to our court after that requirement is completed?"

"No," the King did not elaborate.

"Very well. Thank you for your consideration." The Prince relinquished.

There was a pause, then, as if a separate issue, Thailena walked over to the King, who was sitting down casually, as they all were. She took his hands in her and looked up into his eyes very earnestly and said, pleadingly, "King Uncle, please? May I have him?"

The King looked at her calmly. "No," he said without anger or rancor.

Thailena sucked in her lower lip and bowed her head slightly, then moved away. At the next opportunity to see the King, which Izana could see she had set up to be when he was alone, she walked up to him and bowed formally and looked him in the eye. "O King, when a person has been properly obedient to all that the King has said, even to the point of personal suffering because of the insensitivity of others, surely that one must be considered worthy of some level of trust? Can the King not let go of his anger sufficiently to allow that one to even be sent away so that the King does not have to remember the cause of the anger?"

The King's mouth actually dropped open just a little before snapping shut. His eyes hardened. "Princess Thailena. I have given my answer. He will pay the price required."

"Oh, King, is it not a harsh price to make someone so young, who has done nothing wrong of themselves, pay for all the sins of his parents? Here he has been only honorable and obedient, as he was before."

The King's eyes narrowed. "The punishment has been set and it will be carried out or the King's word is not law."

"Then surely the King may set the punishment, which was only set to be a payment, to be banishment from his homeland?"

The King drew in a breath as if to calm himself down. "And if he should cause troubles in a foreign land, won't the King be required to pay the penalty himself?"

"I shall absolve the King of any such requirement and take upon myself any that should come," she answered calmly, with surety.

"Princess Thailena. For all you know many things, you are still a child. They will not accept that as an answer. No."

"Then let him come when I am older and am able to carry that burden of myself...please, O King." She bowed very deeply.

The King turned and walked away, leaving her there. She finally rose and looked after him with a sigh, her eyes very sad.

"Thailena," Izana warned, "he will not be pushed. Let it lie."

Thailena looked at him sadly. "Izana, surely you've seen it as clearly as I that Imori has done no evil in his days? And that through all of my teasing, and the burden he has carried in having me make him to be disobedient to his daily punishment that is all mine to carry also, he has still remained of himself completely obedient to your Father? I cannot leave him here without proper effort to at least repay him...though I do very much want him as well. That kind of willingness to serve, quietly obedient to all things, is a thing to be treasured. I want him, Izana."

Izana shook his head. "He is set on it, Thailena."

She sighed sadly. "I must try again, one more time, nonetheless, Izana." She looked at him. "Please, this once I'll disobey that order you want to give me. If I cannot win him from your father, I will win him from you in the end, and you shall never have him for your own as the equal payment he is being made to pay unfairly. The sin of your Father will prevent it, because he will not see clearly enough to understand that such a punishment is unreasonable and weakens his own nation."

Izana looked at her quizzically. She pursed her lips and tried to explain, "When we punish unfairly, or not in correct correlation to the person's own sins, we create resentment in the people. This brings discontent to their hearts and they begin to spread it thoughout the kingdom." She hesitated, then said quietly but very pleadingly, "Izana, please, listen to me. This is what is tearing apart Selicia - resentment that began because of the pride of one man in power. It has become a canker to my nation that is terrible. Do not follow your Father in this thing. It would be better for you, and for him, for Imori to come with me. To leave him here in this land with this improper punishment will be your Father's sin for you to attempt to correct. When I come for Imori again, please, for the sake of peace in Clarines, let me have him. And if you can send him to me instead, please remember to do it. The sooner you repent for your Father's sin, the sooner -"

Izana waved a hand to cut her off. "Thailena, you do not understand the gravity and depth of the cancer that was caused by his family and removed by my Father." Thailena closed her mouth and was nearly in tears. Turning from him, she walked away and her shoulder's shook, but Izana could not follow her.

Less than two months later he had received enough reports from the spies in Selicia to finally understand the depth and gravity of her plea and her tears. The depth of the fear she had felt when she had warned him. The final resolution two years later with the death of his Aunt and Uncle and all his kin and his own deep fear that he had not protected her sufficiently so that he had even lost her, made him understand just what impact she had been warning him of. Even still, he knew he would not convince his Father to change his mind, and before he could even try his own Father was dead and Imori Daed had completely slipped his mind. Just trying to hold on to his own life, family, and kingdom was difficult enough as he tried to step into his Father' shoes many years before he should have. Still, the underlying lessons she had taught him he never forgot, including that one. And when his aide did finally remind him of Imori...she wasn't anywhere he could send Imori to to fix the error of his Father. He could only hope that Imori's punishment was sufficient, his obedience still strong...and her promise still good.


	9. Off the Cutting Floor: Obi Breaks

[T]

 **From Off the Cutting Floor: Obi Breaks**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 2)

 _Dark Obi (the dark side of his moon) appears occasionally in The Missing Princess as I write. I have learned that often it is my clue I've missed something and am on the wrong path. When he shows up, I stop and back up to where I got off track. A very few places I can leave it in, and have. This was the first time he appeared for an extended period of time that put me into total writer's block. I had to go all the way back from Book 2 Chapter 18 to Book 2 Chapter 10 at the end of their first official date and add in Obi's awareness of himself that allowed him to put his own restraints on himself so that Zen didn't have to do it for him._

 _In Chapter 15 at_ _Falcon's Hollow Ilena herself warns him he's forgotten he's supposed to be protecting everyone and I correct it by having him follow through on her warning. That was left out the first time. Every 'niggling feeling' was a warning to him in later chapters, so that in the end he was able to tell Zen at a more appropriate time he wasn't going to make it (Chapter 19) so that he could have the patience to wait longer. In the final Chapter 18, Rio is his restraint, followed by Leah, and he is obedient to them both. So in Chapter 19 he finally gives warning voice to it to Zen, who promises to take care of it, calming him back down. I had to put in Ilena making him promise to have Zen interpret Izana's letter or he would have broken like this again. He really couldn't restrain himself much longer than that letter came._

 _In Chapter 19, after his 'super scolding', Obi tells Ilena, "It still doesn't change the fact that I must restrain myself properly. ...if I can't do it with my own proper restraints, I will have to ask Master to give me more blinding ones that will make both Obi and Ilena more sad than even now. I'm afraid to do that. If both of us feel as Ilena feels now, Master will lose. ...I don't want Master to lose, because then we will all lose." He says that because I'd already written these two chapters and knew full well they would lose in this way. Being told "you can't touch Ilena" as an order by Zen, rather than deciding it for himself, breaks him. It happens because he's already been touching her a little too much instead of restraining that part of their relationship. You can see that just in the first paragraph below. In the edited version, she stays in her wheelchair and they just talk. Here's how that all played out the first time:_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 17 Obi's Restraint Cracks**

Before going, Obi took Ilena to the tree, sitting on the ground on the far side of it for a little bit of privacy. He sat with his back supported by the tree, and held her sideways to him so that her shoulder was resting on his chest and her head on his shoulder. She gripped his jacket with her hand, turning her head into his neck. For a long time they said nothing, for nothing needed to be said. Even though it was not a large battle, it still would be a battle, and she still couldn't go with him as his partner. It was difficult for them both.

Finally Obi sighed. "Ilena, please get better soon."

She nodded. "I am slowly getting stronger, but I'm also impatient. It's good there are things to keep me busy now, or I should scream already."

Obi nodded, putting his lips to her cheek over her ear, where he could reach. "I think I also am nearing the point of screaming. To not have you, and not have Thayne, my impatience is becoming difficult. I will likely be very fierce tonight without meaning it."

"If it will keep you alive, then that's good. But let Marcus and Henry know it so they may prevent you from overreaching."

Obi nodded. Ilena shifted so that her arms were also wrapped around him, one hand in his hair, a touch she found her own comfort it, he knew. "Come back to me," she demanded quietly.

He put his head on her shoulder. "I will. I will return this night." He turned his head and kissed her neck, then held himself very still, trembling against his impulses. It was so difficult he nearly cried tears of frustration. When he had himself under some control again, he added, "But I must see Master first before I come."

Ilena nodded, then paused and said, in a very practical tone which helped to ground him somewhat, "But don't you think it would be kinder to visit him first, so as to not interrupt his sleep?"

"Heh. Yes, I suppose, though he is used to Obi's late night visits."

She pulled away from him and frowned at him. "Obi, really. Now is better. The lieutenants will wait for you that much. And Master will be more kindly disposed towards Obi, don't you think?"

He looked at her, then bowed his head. "Yes, Mistress Ilena. I will go there next, then."

Ilena smiled at his titling her, then handed him her hand. He gently took it and pressed it to his lips. When she took it back he let her finally do her will and run her fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and leaning into it. She kissed his temple, then held him to her again. He gently held her until her own trembling had stopped. He carefully stood, then helped her to stand and she hobbled with his support back to the office.

They could not see that both of them had deep, dark eyes, and that their motions were very careful. Leah and Rio looked at each other, worried. Obi called his men to him and they went over the roof tops towards Zen's office. Leah asked Rio to put Ilena to bed, then wrote another note and gave it to Dale just as he was switching out with Frederick. "Send it quickly," Leah told him. "They may recover, for they do, but I don't think there is much longer that they can wait. He must at least answer to them in a way they can understand and use as additional strength."

-o-o-o-

When Obi reached the rooftop over the Rose office he told Henry and Marcus to wait there for him. He dropped to the balcony and said very shortly, "Master." As soon as Zen had acknowledged his presence, Obi was off the balcony and at his tree. He stopped just at it's trunk, though, placing his hand on it and bowing his head. He wanted to climb its branches, but he could not afford to this night.

Zen was surprised to see him head for the tree, and nearly as surprised when it wasn't climbed. He glanced at Mitsuhide.

"The tree?" Mitsuhide asked. Zen nodded, a concerned look on his face. Mitsuhide was on his feet. "It's been a long time," he commented, motioning to Tairn and Dane to join him. As soon as both were headed for the balcony, Zen lept off of it and headed for Obi. Mitsuhide quietly explained to the brothers what their responsibilities were when Obi was like this, giving them their orders ahead of time if they were needed to help Zen. When Mitsuhide saw Obi was already on the ground he considered. This was new, and he said so, explaining that when Obi was on the ground, he was thinking of fleeing quickly, so usually he and Kiki were placed so that he couldn't leave until Zen allowed it. He thought just a bit more, then calmly followed Zen down to the ground. The brothers followed.

Obi tensed when Mitsuhide got to the point halfway to him, a good deal earlier than he might otherwise. He stopped immediately. Tairn and Dane stopped with him. The only thing he could think of was that Obi wanted it to be a private conversation. He explained what he had seen and his suggested reasoning, wanting his actions to be very open to the brothers who would have to be able to deal with this on their own very soon. The moved to positions that were the same distance away, but would block Obi's leaving if Zen had not yet approved it. Obi's head was tipped so that it was obvious he was paying attention to them. When they settled and he was content they were not going to move, his attention returned to Zen. Zen moved towards him again, having also stopped when Obi tensed.

Zen moved to stand in front of Obi, folding his arms and carefully searching his face. Obi allowed it for a moment, then went down on one knee, as pain flashed across his face. Zen knew which direction the conversation would go then, but it took some time before Obi could voice it. Zen finally began it. "It is regarding Ilena again." Obi nodded. "Is it her?" Obi shook his head. "Is it you?" Obi nodded, his hand on the ground digging into it as his hand clenched. Zen considered him. It seemed it was taking everything he had to control himself. There was a thing he needed Zen for, and it was likely that. Quietly, remembering Obi's reaction before, he asked, rather than just ordering it, "Shall I call for Mitsuhide?"

Obi, after considering it, managed to get out the word, "Only."

Zen motioned for Tairn and Dane to stay where they were, then motioned for Mitsuhide. Mitsuhide came carefully towards Obi, who stayed put but trembled as he gripped the ground even tighter. Tairn and Dane moved to better cover the distance. They carefully watched how Mitsuhide moved and what he did.

Calmly, careful to not let any emotion leak out, Mitsuhide walked up to stand next to Obi, then placed his hand firmly, but not painfully, on Obi's shoulder, holding him in the place he had already chosen, not giving judgement, just an external restraint. Slowly Obi's trembling eased and his hand did not clench at the ground. When his breathing had returned to a normal rate, Zen tried again, "What is it, Obi?"

The eyes Obi lifted to meet Zen's were haunted and his face strained. "Please, Master." Zen was nearly rocked. He took a steadying breath. The words had never been said, nor in that way. "It is more than I can bear any more. And she is not much better...which does not help."

Mitsuhide froze, his hand clenching at Obi's shoulder more tightly. The anguished man in his grasp did not move or complain. Zen looked at Mitsuhide questioningly, then back at Obi again, not sure who to ask what next. Mitsuhide finally returned to himself. "Zen, you must punish him, or you must remove him from the castle."

Zen raised his eyebrow. "What has he done?"

Mitsuhide shook his head. "It isn't what he's done, it's what he will do."

Obi dropped his head again, then quietly said, "The next time it happens, I will not be able to control my impulse, and I will make the rift between King Brother and Master. And Ilena will not refuse."

Zen took a deep breath, then looked away from Obi towards Tairn and Dale, then up to the roof to see Marcus and Henry. He sighed sadly when he saw them. Obi had brought his own guards, even. "You are about to head out for the battle," he said. Obi nodded. "You would have come to me after."

Obi nodded again. "She sent me to come now."

Zen raised an eyebrow. "Did she understand?"

Obi hesitated, then shook his head. "I don't believe so. She only understood that it's not kind of Obi to wake Master in the middle of the night. But she surely understood the difficulty that preceded it."

Mitsuhide shook his head. "It's not likely."

Obi looked up at him in surprise. "But she had the same difficulty."

Mitsuhide looked at him soberly. "Obi. She still believes you aren't ready. She doesn't understand that a man's body is ready long before his mind is." Obi looked at him a moment longer, then finally dropped his gaze and nodded sadly. Mitsuhide continued quietly. "If you follow the impulse and act before your mind is ready and she understands it, you'll hurt her terribly, Obi. She is not a woman of the streets."

Obi drooped even further. "I know it," he whispered.

Zen was suddenly glad this had happened while Mitsuhide was still here. He was able to give the appropriate scolding Zen would not have had words for. "Then you musn't allow for there to be a next time, Obi," he said firmly. Obi shuddered under Mitsuhide's hand. "Are you still staying in her room nightly?"

"Yes," Obi admitted quietly.

Zen placed his external restraints on him, as he had been asked to. "You may see her properly to bed if you must, but you will not stay there for a time, until you are sufficiently controlled again. You have other places you can go. She's your partner. Tell her your difficulty so she may be your strength. Listen to and be obedient to those who also protect her, so that you may also be protected." Zen really hated to do this last, but it was likely to be necessary. He could at best make it provisionary. "And if you find these are not enough, then I forbid you from touching her again, or from her touching you, until I allow it."

Obi looked up at him, a very lost look in his eyes at this last. But he nodded obediently. "Yes, Master." Mitsuhide loosened his grip on Obi's shoulder until he was just setting his hand on his shoulder. Zen looked at Obi closely. Slowly he was relaxing, his eyes focused completely on Zen's eyes as he did when he was trying to find his way home. Then finally his eyes closed and he sat back on his haunches.

"You have a thing to be doing," Zen said to him, his tone the same as it was before.

"Yes, Master." Mitsuhide took his hand off Obi's shoulder and Obi rose and bowed. He stopped as he turned past Mitsuhide and looked him in the eye as well, a thing he had also never done before. "Thank you," he said. Mitsuhide nodded. Then Obi was off, across the lawn and up to the balcony, then the roof. Dane and Tairn let him pass, though they watched him, and Marcus and Henry followed behind him when he passed them.

As Zen and Mitsuhide made it to the place Dane and Tairn were, and they fell in with them, Zen asked, "Dane, will they watch over him now?"

"Yes, Master Zen," he answered after the fashion of the Family. "They have heard it in their own ears. They will help him to be obedient."

"That's good," Zen said, then lept for the balcony himself. He sat on the railing for a while, facing Obi's tree, Mitsuhide next to him. He could feel Dane and Tairn watching over him from the doorway. Finally he put his head on his knee, facing so he was talking somewhat to Mitsuhide. "What can I do for him?"

Mitsuhide looked up at the sky. "It's the same as for me and Kiki. He would have asked you for the same as we have."

"Haaah. To remove the restrictions altogether, and sooner." Zen said.

Mitsuhide nodded. "It is the safer solution, though not necessarily the correct one."

Zen put his forehead on his knee. "And in their case, the best one, lest I lose them both." He closed his eyes as Mitsuhide put his hand on Zen's shoulder to comfort him. Finally he moved, swinging his legs around to stand on the balcony. "Come help me with my letter to my brother," he instructed Mitsuhide. "It is going to be very difficult, I think." He looked wryly at Mitsuhide. "I may end up unexpectedly whining that I also need my restrictions removed. It already feels like the four months I was thinking were left are going to be too long as well."

Mitsuhide smiled. "Then it may not help you to hear that when we all met in the hall, the thing we all talked about was how difficult it was for all of us...including Shirayuki."

Zen looked at him surprised. "Even Shirayuki?"

"Yes. She was terribly embarrassed to admit it, of course, for then she had to think about it personally, but Ilena explained it was what was driving her to do her best as quickly as possible, and to use it to that effect. She also would be happy to see the deed done as quickly as possible. If you can use that as your own strength of effort, then do so."

Zen stopped stock still. "Actually, it would have probably been better for you not to have told me."

"Ah, sorry." Mitsuhide for some reason did not sound sorry at all.

Zen looked at him suspiciously. "You're angry I've postponed my answer."

"Am I?" Mitsuhide asked him calmly.

Zen sighed. "I will tell you, now that Kiki has gone." He cocked his head at Mitsuhide. "The captain that Ilena has set over the area of her father is his love interest."

Mitsuhide rocked back on his heels, shock on his face. "His...what?"

Zen nodded. "Ilena said it to me. She's waiting to see how Earl Sieran reacts to the knowledge, as am I. If he reacts favorably, I won't have you prove yourself in battle in order to raise your rank since I may be able to claim you both for myself." He let that sink in for a time. Mitsuhide was pretty slow with things like this. When it looked like he wasn't going to get there himself, Zen continued. "If he accepts her, he'll have the opportunity to produce a male heir. She's already consented to attempt it, if he'll have her. I'm waiting to hear from Ilena when she learns what's been decided, though I may hear it at the same time if they wait to announce it when they come to the ball."

"Ah…," Mitsuhide was not quite able to recover from his shock, then asked, "Does that mean Kiki and I will have to wait until an heir is produced?" He looked very unhappy. "That could take a very long time."

Zen shook his head. "Rather, I'll move up your announcement to coincide with theirs. Just the potential of an heir is sufficient to release her from her requirements, though you should both continue with the training, I think, as you're also needed there for the war against Tarc for a time. But when that's completed, you'll both return here." Zen sighed. "This is of course, the best possible outcome. It's too soon to be too hopeful. I of myself know nothing of how they really feel about each other," he grinned slightly at Mitsuhide.

"Ah, where will that leave us?" Tairn asked, "That is, if they come back to stay?"

"Right where you are," both Zen and Mitsuhide said together.

Tairn sighed and looked at Dane. "Chained to the desks in the Rose office. Where we can't fall in love with each other no matter what."

Dane looked at his brother and affected infatuation. "What do you mean, brother dearest? Don't you know I love you best?"

Tairn shuddered. "Please. Don't."

Dane laughed. "Then we'll have to begin asking for vacation time in order to go hunting for women, I suppose. Perhaps now that Zen understands how difficult it is, he'll be more willing."

Zen looked at them a little sourly. "Don't count on it. At least not until Mitsuhide and Kiki are also here, if they get to be. Then there might be some occasional days we can slack off."

Mitsuhide looked at Zen in mild surprise. "Zen, you're already very strong. But don't forget that you must rest occasionally also, and those who work for you, lest they lose their strength. You wouldn't want Kiki to scold you again...or heaven forbid, Ilena."

Zen sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "It may be true, but that doesn't mean it's easy to find the time when we're so busy."

"You make the time," came Aiden's voice. He stood up, having just completed his work. "This is the understanding that comes with age. Not only must you force yourself to make the time to rest and remember why you're working so hard, you must also be sure to take the time to enjoy your wife, once you have one. And I'm going to go do that myself, now." The young men in the room watched him walk out.

"He just wanted to gloat," complained Dane after he'd left. Zen and Mitsuhide agreed, though they didn't say it.

"He's right, though," Tairn said. "Even Father has said so. It was in all of his lectures to me the first year after Mother died. His main regret was that he hadn't taken the time to be with her more before she was gone. And it's why he began to spend more time with us." Dane looked at him soberly, then nodded his understanding.

Mitsuhide and Zen took it to heart, then began the arduous process of figuring out how to ask Izana for approval to let Ilena, the princess not yet announced, marry Obi, the reluctant lord. All without admitting Zen's weakness. Zen ended up pulling in every excuse he had thought of in considering Ilena's comments about who she would end up with and how, somehow feeling in the end as if she'd been already manipulating even this. When he pointed it out to Mitsuhide, when they had all the points laid out, Mitsuhide had to agree. He passed it to Tairn as well, given he also had more experience. Tairn also agreed that she had been pretty shrewd. When they showed the list to Dane, he merely glanced at it. "Of course she has. She told you from the beginning that it was her goal. Her patience ran out many years ago."

They stared at him, then Zen laughed. "What is it?" Mitsuhide asked him.

"If she's been manipulating this, she's been manipulating my brother in it as well. We'll craft the letter most carefully, but I don't think he'll refuse."

Mitsuhide looked doubtful. "Are you sure?"

Zen looked at him. "Perhaps it's difficult for you to understand. He may be a master examiner. I may be a master strategist. But she's a master manipulator. And neither my brother nor I can say no to her already, I'm sure of it. If he will tell me no, I'll bring him here and force him to say it to her himself. He'll not be able to do it."

Tairn raised an eyebrow. "If you say anything to him before he receives my letter, I'll cut your throat, Tairn," Zen didn't even look at him.

"No, sir," Tairn said. Zen had not been joking. He was very serious about keeping Ilena by his side.

"But if you tell him after he's sent his reply, I'll not mind it. Or if he delays his reply on purpose."

"Yes, sir," Tairn said, again obediently.

It took the rest of the evening to craft the letter and Zen slept on it, re-reading it again in the morning. When he was satisfied, he walked down to the message center and had it sent, bound in blue, to Castle Wistal. He sighed as he walked to his office that morning. He hoped he was right, and his brother would look favorably upon his request. He didn't know it arrived on Izana's desk the same time two other letters did, three days later, one from Izana's double agent at Ilena's side, and one from her contact.

-o-o-o-

Izana finished reading all three letters, set them down in amazement, then laughed loud and long. He had not been so amused for some time. He looked around, wondering where the letter from Ilena herself was. He finally found it in the stack of letters from her, bound in gold, black, and green, not too far down from the top. He re-read it and grinned. She had not sent any letters to him since she had been in Castle Wilant, but she had still predicted fairly close how long it would be before he could no longer deny her.

Now he had to consider carefully what his own move would be. They were all relying on him. He added the three letters that had come to her stack, retying it. As he twirled his feather pen, made from an eagle's feather, and gifted to him by Ilena herself, he thought about his moves. Then he paused again, wondering just who he should address the letter to. He got a wicked grin on his face. That earned him a reprimand from his close aide, friend, and Ilena's 'uncle', Lord Barret, who knew him well, and had a very good idea who the letters had been from. He recomposed his face and lightly defended himself, but did stop to consider it again seriously. They were, after all, really relying on him. He sighed and put his pen to the paper. "Prepare to plan a royal visit to Castle Wilant," he ordered. "It won't be too much longer."

The uncle pulled out his scheduling notebook obediently. "Miss Ilena requires of you that your lady Queen come," he said as he wrote.

"She what?" Izana's head came up.

"When I last talked to her, she said that when you came you must bring Queen Haki. You've been neglecting her, and Miss Ilena plans on scolding you severely for it. Please prepare yourself for it."

Izana put his hand over his face. "Maybe I should postpone it then."

"You may not," the uncle said severely, though in a mild tone.

Izana dropped his hand and sighed. His aide was, of course, right. "Very well, inform her to begin to be prepared as well, then, though I want a minimum of personnel to go with us, please. We can't afford to be gone long. Tell her we're waiting for Zen's invitation, though I'll only give him a certain amount of time to send it. None of them are handling the waiting very well any more. It even bled through in Zen's writing, though he tried to hide it." He wrote a bit longer, then, when he paused to review it, he added, "Ah, the wild emotions of youth."

Barret looked at him for a moment. Then said, scolding, "You wouldn't have to be jealous if you would only attend to your own jewel, which you selected with your own hand." Izana ignored him. Again. The aide was getting testy over the issue. He hoped they would be going to visit Wilant very soon. He wanted to hand Izana over to Ilena for a while.

Izana put down his letter, mostly satisfied with it, and looked up at the 'getting testy' man. "I'll consider it properly before we go, Barret, and be prepared for the journey. It will be a good opportunity to visit with her and properly apologize."

Barret looked like he didn't quite believe His Majesty, but he nodded. "See that you do, lest a certain princess bite a hole or three in you. I'm sure she would rather greet you with open arms, and you would wish the same."

Izana didn't answer him. Instead he picked up a second sheet of paper and began to write again. When he picked up the third sheet of paper, Barret was surprised. When a fourth was added to the stack, he could no longer contain his curiosity. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Izana answered, still distracted by the writing, "Answering my letters. I don't get much in the way of actual correspondence, after all. Shouldn't I respond appropriately?"

Barret sighed and picked up the three that were done. He needed to make sure Izana wasn't going to cause more problems without him understanding what they were. Between the two of them, they managed to get them all written in a way that wouldn't cause more chaos, maybe. Izana always knew what he wanted to have happen, but he was still just as lousy a writer of letters as any member of the Wisteria family that was born in Clarines.

 **CHAPTER 18 Obi Breaks**

Obi was, somewhere inside, glad he was headed back for the underworld tonight. It was the place he'd spent feeling like this - empty, cold, hurt, lonely, scared, angry, lost. He'd learned to do his work regardless of how he felt, and do it well. As he ran from the place that held all the light in his life and into the world of darkness that was so familiar, his mind shut his heart down and he became automatically what he had been before. His eyes saw and interpreted every shadow, every movement. His reactions sped up to absolute refinement. His mind calculated with precision every action and reaction around and within himself.

When he reached the main building of the House, he whistled and members of the House poured out. The Lieutenants joined him on the rooftop he was on for one final conference in which Obi told them everything that the day Family had discovered about the actions of the other Houses that day. They made their final plans, then they split up and were gone, each taking a quarter of the House with them.

Obi led his group back towards the castle. They would be reestablishing the border that gave them a corridor of access to the castle and claimed the territory around the marketplace and crafter's way that was closest to the castle - lucrative area. He would handle the part closest to the castle. Landras and his group were taking the other end. More than any area, the House didn't want to lose this one.

Battles over territory were, oddly enough, very quiet affairs. It wasn't like the underworld wanted the normal citizens of the city to know they were being farmed. Even so, with killing intent in the air, the streets stayed extra quiet. People who had thought they would stay out late suddenly decided to head home early and lock up behind themselves.

The other thing different about this kind of battle, compared to the mountain battle, is that the goal was never death. Typically, it was sufficient to posture, or overwhelm with fear or ferocity. This time it was necessary to draw blood and put people on the ground, unconscious. The battle was considered fairly serious because of that. All four sections of the House were required to fight hard, but they didn't give an inch. When it was over, the boundaries were firmly reestablished again.

Obi was seen by plenty of people during the battle, the same as they had seen him handling the traitors to the House. During the recovery period, the rumors were nearly not rumors any more, but fact. Obi, the drifter, had finally joined a House. There was little surprise it was a renowned House, or that he was near the top of it. The rumors that couldn't be confirmed were if he were the replacement for the Messenger, the newcomer Queen's Knight, or just Obi coming out on top finally. The House wasn't saying, but whispers started to go around.

Obi sat with the Lieutenants that night, receiving the end-of-battle report. He wanted to be able to take it back to Ilena personally. Between Marcus and Henry, he'd managed to come out with only a few scratches and bruises. They were about the same, for which he was glad. Barakka had added one more scar to his jaw. It looked like he was either ferocious or just not careful, what with all of the scars he had. He was relieved when everyone was accounted for, alive and conscious. He was likely getting too soft to run an underground House. But the way everyone treated him said it didn't matter. Once again, being just himself was sufficient.

Obi finally relaxed. When the alcohol was passed around, he didn't hold back, though Marcus and Henry took the bottle from him and started pouring his mugs. When he felt they were going too slow, he frowned at them. They grinned back. "We know you're as good as Mother at holding your drink. Let us handle it." Obi sighed, slowing down just a bit.

"You can match the Queen?" Danel asked Obi.

Obi nodded. "I started out testing her the first time we had a little gathering with wine and drink, then got distracted seeing if she would drink what I liked. By the time we'd nearly drunk everyone else to sleep, they stopped me saying the bet had already been won by her. That is, I hadn't even noticed she wasn't affected by it all."

"Hoh? What'd you give her?" Barakka asked.

"As I recall, we went through five bottles of wine between us, then several fifths of whisky, gin, and vodka. Though in the end, it was probably wasted. She said all the times she had to drink the lot of you under the table her jaded her against alcohol generally." Obi scowled at them as if it was their fault. They just laughed at him. He sighed theatrically, "She's promised to try to learn to enjoy it for me...but she still lets me drink most of it."

"Isn't that because you down it so fast you forget to pour it for her?" asked Henry, not pouring more when Obi shoved his mug in front of him again.

"No," Obi defended himself. "I'm careful to go slow. It's just that she's slower. She won't drink more than two glasses at a sitting."

The Lieutenants laughed again. "So now it's a competition to see who can drink the least, is it?" Landras winked at Obi.

Obi waved his hand in denial. Then stopped and considered it. "Ah, that's what it is, isn't it? ...Well, perhaps we'll find the balance then. If she drinks two glasses and I drink four, we'll finish off the one bottle and be done. But...she does still like it, regardless of what she says. She never once said to stop, that first night, and she was the one that stole the first glass from me."

"She did?" Marcus asked, surprised.

Obi nodded. "She was hungry for it, even. How long had it been she'd been dry?"

"Well, how long had she been with you? It would have been at least that long." Landras asked in reply.

Obi tried to remember. "Ah...two and a half months."

"So long!?" All the others looked at him in surprise.

"You do remember it was the only drink at the table in the earldom, right?" Landras asked.

Obi thought about the difference between then and here at the castle. He put his head in his hand. "Ah. That. Yeah, I forgot how much of a difference there was. The castle is pretty dry, and no one thought, not even me, to give any to her. We didn't even knew if she drank or not until that party. Though now that you've reminded me I should have known from the beginning."

"Well, she didn't complain, did she?" Henry shrugged and finally refilled Obi's mug.

"No...she didn't," mused Obi. "I wonder why? Well, but she wasn't complaining about much, not even the small room, though I knew that was bothering her."

"Yeah, we heard about that," Landras's eyes narrowed.

Obi raised a conciliatory hand. "It was Master's decision to protect her in a place that only had small rooms available, and she didn't tell us her story. Th..the Queen's Guard told us after we were up in the mountain. He's made sure she has a large suite now, with access to the outdoors. But I stayed with her every night, so she could sleep. I knew that much at least." The others nodded, accepting that. Obi extinguished a sudden ghost of pain, washing it down with another drink. But it made him realize he was postponing going back.

He rested, his drinking arm wrapped around his knee, holding his mug loosely by the rim. The Lieutenants and he were sitting on the raised platform reserved for the higher-ups in the House. Marcus and Henry were kneeling behind him to serve him, but were obviously more than servers since they were both Queen's Guards. The other Lieutenants had one server each. Landras didn't seem to care who served him, and it was one of the younger members of the house he had just grabbed in passing that was carrying a bottle of something Landras liked. Danel was being served by a quiet young man with good manners. He seemed to be more like an aide or secretary to Danel. Barakka was enjoying his female server almost as much as his drink. Obi could see he was already winning, if it was a competition. It was time to go.

Obi looked down in his mug. There was just enough left. He raised his mug in a toast. "To the Queen of Knight."

"To the Queen!" thundered Barakka, and the whole house joined in. They drank the toast. Then someone yelled from the back, "To King Obi!"

Obi spun around, his eyes wide. "No, no, no!" he severely scolded. "I am no King."

"Hmm," mused Danel.

"You aren't?" asked Landras

"What shall we make you, then?" Barakka asked in a teasing drawl.

Their heads went together and they bantered titles around for a bit. Then they grabbed Henry and Marcus and made them join in. Obi put his hand to his eyes. They weren't suggesting anything good. Finally they broke from the huddle and raised their mugs. "To the Queen's Consort!" they said together. The room joined in uproariously. Obi blushed bright red, his mouth open in amazement. He stared at Henry and Marcus angrily, and they shrugged at him. He moved as if to go after them and they darted around behind the Lieutenants who laughed at him.

"Really!" Obi said in disgust. "I get it too frequently at the castle already. Not here also!"

Landras shook his head. "Even we know what you're to become, Master Obi. It'll stand."

Obi sighed, then stood. The room quieted. "Thank you, everyone, for your hard work. I'll give the report to the Queen when I return. She's waiting to hear you are yet still strong and well. You'll likely see me again." He looked at Marcus and Henry and jerked his head. He lept off the stand and walked to the door and they followed, still grinning.

When he got to the door, Barakka yelled at him, "Don't forget your promise."

Obi waved his hand and looked briefly over his shoulder. "I won't, don't worry." He walked out the door that was opened by the door guard, and he and the Queen's Guards disappeared into the night.

-o-o-o-

A light rain was falling. Obi took the safer paths. They didn't need to come home more seriously injured from being stupid than from the fight. Plus it would take longer, though he wouldn't let himself tell himself that. He lifted his head to the rain and let it wash him as he walked. That was fine, until the water began to run down his face in rivulets, and over his lips. As he tasted the water, salty from his sweat, he broke. He dropped to his knees, his arms clutched around his middle. Marcus and Henry immediately leapt to his side. He was trembling violently and when they carefully touched him, while calling his name, he fell onto his side, all of the strength gone from him. They couldn't tell it in the rain, but silent tears of pain were rolling from his eyes, and his breath came in gasps.

Henry nodded at Marcus who sprang up and ran for the closest Family house, sending out the alert that a doctor should be brought immediately to it. He pulled out a hand cart from behind the house and ran back with it. Between them, they managed to get Obi up into the hand cart. One pushed and the other pulled until they had him to the door. It was opened to their hail and another man came and helped them get Obi inside. The hand cart was returned to the back of the house by a teen girl.

They couldn't get Obi to straighten from his fetal curl, but they did dry him off as best they could and wrap blankets around him, trying to calm his tremors with warmth. Henry tried to calm Obi by touching him, but Obi reacted to that very badly. The message came from Mother at the same time as the doctor arrived. _I'm sending Master Zen_. Marcus and Henry looked at each other sadly. It was the right response. They had seen it with their own eyes for the first time that day, how Master Zen had tamed Obi, what it was he gave him. And they knew only he would get Obi to respond.

They answered the doctor's questions as best they could, saying that though they had been fighting, Obi had not received any serious injuries. They had properly made sure of it. He worked a doctor's magic in calming patients sufficiently to be able to do a cursory examination, but Obi wouldn't uncurl for him either. His calming effect did help Obi's breathing to calm down and his tremors to decrease. By the time Zen arrived, having been led by Family members to the house, Obi looked more like he was sleeping, except for the occasional shiver and the pain on his face.

Zen, being followed by Mitsuhide and Dane since their rooms were next door to each other, immediately went to crouch at Obi's side. They'd laid him on a pile of pillows on the floor in the main room of the house, as they were in a hurry to get him warmed. He was currently mostly uncovered from the doctor's examination, but the blankets were still piled up around him. Zen looked up at the doctor.

"He appears uninjured, Regent Zen," the doctor told him. "He has a fever, and is unresponsive to anything but touch, and that he can't abide long."

Zen looked at Henry and Marcus who were kneeling, one at Obi's head the other at his back. Marcus explained what they had seen, which was a simple thing to say. When Zen looked as confused as the doctor, they looked at each other. He looked to see what they would say. "Master Zen," Henry said sadly, "He has the darkness about him. Mother's light is missing."

"Dimmed?" Zen asked.

They shook their heads. "Completely missing," Marcus said.

Zen sighed, sitting back on his heels. He rubbed his hand through his damp hair, making it stand up. "He was fine enough when he left. What happened?"

"We think it was the rain," Marcus said. "Mother told him today to her it was a blessing. They stood out in it together this afternoon, content. We stayed for the celebration after the fight, and in the end they named him Queen's Consort. He was fine while we were there, but as we left, his light was already dimming. The rain and his memory of it, combined with your restraints, extinguished it, we believe."

Zen rested his elbow on his knee and his head on his fist. He wouldn't hear back from his brother for six days, and he needed Obi to stand behind Shirayuki until then. Or...he needed Ilena to. Obi wouldn't be essential to that plan until the day of the ball. They had already decided Ilena couldn't stay for the whole time the ball would be going on for, so Obi would be needed to stand that night.

He looked at Obi again. Obi wasn't able to leave the source of light so he wouldn't go any farther than this. But he also wasn't able to approach it any closer, it seemed, at least not on his own feet. Zen could take him back by carriage, but he would have to go to a place both he and Ilena would be protected. Zen looked at Marcus. "Who else does he need right now?"

"Ah, he's said he's impatient to have her and Thayne, though I think it was to guard his back tonight."

Zen nodded. "Call a carriage. I know where to take him." Henry leapt up to obey. Zen put his hand very close to, but not touching, Obi's head. He waited for the warmth to build up so Obi would know he was there. "Obi," he called. He waited, then again said, "Obi." He thought he got a reaction that time. "I'm here. I'm going to take you to a place you'll be safe." He paused. It looked like Obi was listening. "I want you to stay there for now. I'll come to you when you're ready."

Everyone was startled when Obi's hand suddenly snatched Zen's wrist. Zen nearly toppled, then caught himself. Mitsuhide jumped to remove Obi's hand, but Zen stopped him. Dane helped steady Zen. Obi moved Zen's hand until it was touching his head where it had been hovering before. He held it there a moment, then his hand lost it's strength again and slipped to the floor. Zen slid into sitting cross legged and held his hand on Obi's head a long while, looking at him sadly.

When the carriage arrived, Henry was driving it. Zen climbed in first and Mitsuhide, Marcus and Dane lifted Obi into it. Zen ordered them to put Obi on the seat next to him and held his head in his lap, putting his hand on his head again. The house sent several blankets with them that they tucked around Obi again. Then Mitsuhide and Marcus climbed into the carriage with Zen and Dane rode in the front with Henry. Zen told Dane, before he left the carriage, to have Henry drive it to the castle garrison and onto the parade grounds. He wanted a stretcher waiting for them when they arrived. Dane nodded, and they got underway.

Along the way, Obi began to pant from overheat. Marcus removed his blankets, then handed Zen a flask of water. Zen carefully lifted Obi's head and gave him the water. Obi gulped at it. When he finally refused it, Zen handed the flask back to Marcus. He glanced at Mitsuhide to see he was looking worried, both for Obi and for Zen. Mitsuhide saw him looking and gave him a questioning look. Zen shook his head. He would tell him when they had Obi where he needed to be.

When they arrived at the garrison, Zen led them to the prison. He asked to be shown where Thayne was being kept, then told Marcus and Henry they would not be allowed to enter, but should return to Ilena, who was surely worried. They were reluctant to go, but they bowed and left. A guard led the group down the hall and two guards carried Obi on the stretcher. Zen had Dane carry the blankets with them. When they opened the door, both Thayne and Petroi were waking up from the noise in the hall coming their way.

They watched in silence, Thayne with concern, as Zen walked up to the cell door and opened it, as if he already knew it wasn't locked. Mitsuhide stepped in and stood in front of Petroi. Dane unobtrusively stopped between Thayne and Obi. Zen stepped in the cell after Mitsuhide was in place and motioned the guards in with their burden. He pointed to the opposite corner from Petroi and the guards set down the stretcher. Dane passed in the blankets and one soldier put a blanket on the ground. They moved Obi from the stretcher to the blanket. Zen held out his hand for the other blanket. They gave it to him, retrieved the stretcher, and left the room.

Zen walked over to Obi and placed the blanket on him again, though he left his shoulders uncovered so as to not overheat him again. He placed his hand on Obi's head again and waited until he got a faint response. "Obi," he called gently. Obi responded again, ever so slightly. "You're in a safe place, where you can recover. I'll come for you when it's time." He could feel Obi shudder slightly once, then relax. He stayed there for a moment longer, then rose and left the cell. Mitsuhide followed after and closed the cell door behind him, though he stayed in front of it in rest attention.

Zen turned his attention to the silently watching Thayne and Petroi, though he only looked at Thayne. "His restraints have broken because his desire for Ilena has overwhelmed him. He has been obedient up until this time. This is not his punishment, it's to protect both her and him. However, you will need to help him recover sufficient to be able to stand by her again. You have six days in which to do it, and less would be better for me, though I'll be content with the six if it's better for him. Marcus and Henry say the light of Mother is completely missing from him." He noted the reaction in both men. It was worse in Petroi, but that was likely because he already understood that depth himself.

Zen turned to Petroi. He looked at him calmly but forcefully. "I'll expect you to do your part as one who was chosen to follow them." He stared at him until Petroi bobbed his head. It hadn't taken too long. That was good. Zen looked at Thayne, who nodded immediately. Zen nodded to Mitsuhide and Dane, then led them out of the room. When he reached the parade grounds again, he stopped and leaned on the stadium wall, his strength suddenly giving out. He closed his eyes. It was a worse pain to bear than he'd had to for some time. Mitsuhide put his hand on Zen's shoulder and Dane stood close by.

"They'll help him, Zen. It will be good for all of them." Mitsuhide voiced his approval of Zen's choice, and tried to strengthen him with encouragement.

Zen nodded, and after a bit more, stood up straight again. "I need to see to the falcon before she injures herself any further." His steps started slow. He was as nearly as reluctant as Obi to face her, but it needed to be done. He could feel her keening from here.

-o-o-o-

The priority message was delivered straight to Ilena: _Father has collapsed and is taken to Dram's house_. Her keening woke Leah, Rio, and Grandfather immediately. They rushed to her side, but as soon as she heard them move, she sent the order. _Wake Master. He must go to Obi, now!_ Rio, the youngest and therefore the most suited to running, changed direction and headed for the royal chambers. It would take one of Ilena's direct reports to be allowed to wake the Regent. She wished for a moment for one of Marcus and Henry. Not only did they have more stamina and speed, the guards would recognize them. Her face wasn't known yet.

Even still, she was allowed in without too much trouble. Zen had left orders with the guards in case he should need to be informed in such an emergency. It took a bit to wake him, but once he was up, he was wide awake. This was not the person he expected to see at this hour. It wasn't good news, even if Rio's face wasn't showing such worry. She told him what little was known, the updates included, though even they were slim.

They met Mitsuhide and Dane halfway between the two sleeping quarters. Grandfather had woken them, knowing Zen would need them, and sent them on to him as soon as they were dressed. He'd let them know the news as well. "Go out the Crane gate," he'd told them. "You will be directed to the house. The battle has been over several hours. Your path will be clear." They had been surprised to be called out long after the fighting was done. It made them both guess at what it could be, afraid of the worst. Their intuition hadn't been wrong.

-o-o-o-

Mitsuhide and Dane looked at each other, worried, as they followed Zen to Ilena's quarters. His stride and his back were slowly getting stronger as he walked. That was good, but this would be a difficult visit. The night guards opened the door to the wing as soon as he was to it. He knocked once on the door to the Lower office and entered. The door to Ilena's room was open, but continuing his scan he saw everyone in the main room. Ilena had not been able to just lie still and had demanded they help her to her chair.

She was just turning her chair away from the glass doors where she had been staring out into the night, listening to the news. Leah had her hand on Ilena's shoulder, but let go and stepped back as Zen walked up. She'd heard from Marcus and Henry, who were standing on either side of her, what had happened and where Obi had been taken. She was using the night crew in the castle for further news and had known that Zen was on his way. She looked at him, a combination of attempting to be calm and fear. In her case, she had no idea what had caused this.

Zen, in thinking about what he should say, kept this thought consciously in the very front of his mind. The other thing he knew was that he wanted Mitsuhide to talk to her. He would be the most gentle. But he couldn't start there. He watched her carefully, looking for the same signs he looked for in Obi. He saw the tension and stopped, the aides following him stopping as well. When it looked like she had accepted their presence just enough, he said, "Dane," very quietly. Sending in her own Child first would be best, he had decided earlier. Already, on the way in, he had explained to Mitsuhide and Dane how he wanted to approach her. If they didn't already understand how Zen worked with Obi, they would have found it odd. But they could sense it would work for her.

Dane, following his instructions, instinctively approached her respectfully, allowing his concern and deep love for her show on his face. He stopped at the distance her eyes said was far enough, then bowed. "Mother," he said. It wasn't gentle. That would have worried her more. Rather it was pleading, and asking, as if a child was requesting for comfort. Her eyes changed to have a hint of compassion and locked onto his. He held out his hand to her. She looked at him a moment, then just barely bobbed her head. He walked a few more paces until he was just close enough that she could reach his hand. Still looking into his eyes as her anchor, the same as Obi would have looked into Zen's, she slowly raised her hand until it had taken his. Dane held her hand lightly, doing his best to not tremble himself.

As soon as her eyes had locked onto Dane, Mitsuhide had started walking closer, moving very quietly and staying behind Dane until he had taken her hand. He moved quickly at that point to stand next to her, covering her eyes with his hand. She tensed suddenly at the interruption to her sight, but Dane did not move his hand, continuing to let her feel the warmth of connection and even rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb to bring her attention back to him. When her attention returned to Dane, Zen nodded at Mitsuhide. He could feel the keening increase. He wanted to catch her attention before she was lost to her worry and grief.

"Ilena," Mitsuhide said in his gentle voice right near her ear, one she had already learned offered comfort, "do you understand what's happened?" Ilena paused, her attention being caught, her posture rising. She shook her head slightly. Zen was pleased they'd caught her in time. "Zen understands it. Will you hear him?" She took a breath, tightened her grip on Dane, and let the breath out, purposely relaxing. Mitsuhide made sure to keep his hand lightly over her eyes. When she was ready, she nodded.

Zen moved up. He could see she was paying close attention to his movements. He carefully judged his distance and stopped before she felt crowded. He kept himself tightly controlled and his voice calm. "Ilena," she turned her face towards him and relaxed her grip on Dane just a fraction. "I've given Obi into Thayne's keeping. He's not in punishment, but in need of recovery and proper healing. He also needs protection...and so do you." Ilena was okay until he brought her into the picture. She was very confused by that. He had expected that. He nodded to Mitsuhide.

Mitsuhide put his other hand on her head. "Obi's restraints have broken, Ilena. Until he's rebuilt them, neither of you are safe." Ilena turned to listen to Mitsuhide and her confusion began to turn to fear.

"Why?" she asked, "I don't understand."

Everyone else in the room looked at each other. They all understood it, and that she didn't. It was going to be a hard thing to say, and perhaps harder for her to hear. Leah moved up to stand very near her Mistress again, though she did not interfere as of yet.

Mitsuhide said as kindly as he could, "Ilena, even when a man's mind is not ready to accept a woman, his body will desire it anyway. When he came to Prince Zen this evening it was to confess he could no longer restrain himself in your presence. His desire to be obedient to his master has conflicted too severely with his need to be with you. He couldn't return to the castle of himself, thus Zen has brought him back and placed him where he and you both may be safe, so that he may have time to recover the strength he needs to stand beside you again."

Ilena listened quietly until he was done, astonishment showing plainly upon her. She nearly let go of Dane's hand and he grasped her hand just enough to prevent her from letting go.

"H-how long?" She asked.

Zen took over again. Mitsuhide removed the hand he had placed on her head. "I've given Thayne no more than six days. Obi must be able to stand next to you, behind Shirayuki, at the ball. ...But you must also do your part so that Obi may have the strength to stand next to you." Ilena nodded, willing to do her part for her partner's sake.

"You must restrain yourself from touching him unnecessarily, Ilena. It will be the same for him. Until he is sufficiently strong again he may not spend the night in your room, nor may he be your nurse. You must support this behavior." He looked at Leah. "You have those around you who protect you. You will heed their warnings and be obedient to them if they scold you at all in this matter until you have understood the proper restraint you need to have to support Obi." Leah nodded slightly, accepting his orders for all of the servants of Ilena.

Zen returned his attention to Ilena. She was processing his words. Then she bowed slightly. "Yes, Master Zen." Her words were properly submissive, but he heard the strain under them. She was fighting to not comprehend the full weight of her orders, the same as Obi had done. He didn't want her to break either, and now he knew what to do to help.

"I've written a letter to my brother asking if I may remove the restraint and allow you to be Obi's before the testing is completed. It's not my desire to keep the partners separated until they both cannot abide, nor do I wish to make the requirements impossible to achieve. If you can be strong until then, and strengthen Obi, then I'll be able to help you both."

Surprise registered on the faces of Ilena's people, then Leah relaxed in relief, tears of gratitude in her eyes. Ilena sat very still as slowly, tears began to drip down her cheeks. Dale felt the weight of her hand in his as she relaxed her arm. He took one more step towards her and held her hand low, to allow the arm to relax more fully, but he didn't let go yet. Zen sighed within himself. He had managed it, preventing Ilena from breaking, too. He looked at Mitsuhide and Dane. They nodded. He left for the main hall of the wing and waited outside Ilena's door for them.

When Ilena's tears had stopped and she let go of Dane's hand, they stepped back, bowed to her, and left the room. As they walked out, Leah wrapped her arms around Ilena and held her. Ilena buried her face in her Nurse's shoulder and wept with sobs of grief, her earlier tears being tears of gratitude. She had been the cause of Obi breaking, even if all unknowing, and it was painful knowledge. Zen, hearing them as Mitsuhide and Dane came from the room and closed the door behind them, felt their echo in his own heart. He had not been able to prevent Obi from breaking in time. He looked up at Shirayuki's door, not wanting to wake her, but wanting her to comfort him.

"She'll want to know," Mitsuhide said. "They are her's."

Zen considered it, then nodded. "Bring her to the garden."

The three of them walked up the stairs. Zen led Dane to the garden while Mitsuhide went to knock on Shirayuki's door and call her out. When she was ready, he escorted her to the garden.

She took in everyone's faces and asked, "Zen, what is it?" She looked into his face earnestly, full of concern.

Zen led her to one of the benches and sat down, pulling her to sit next to him. He held her hand, but didn't get any closer. She met his grip, trying to strengthen him. "Obi has collapsed and will not likely rise until the day before or the day of the ball. I've just spoken to Ilena and taught her how to properly support him when he comes to stand with her again. But the fault is also mine. I wasn't able to help him in time." His eyes were haunted when he looked back up at her. "I've written to Izana asking if I may announce them before the testing is completed, so that they may be properly strong together. I'm hopeful he'll agree...but if he doesn't," Zen couldn't meet her eyes any longer and dropped his gaze to their joined hands, "I will likely lose them both."

Shirayuki stared at him a moment, then, still holding on to his hand, she reached up and pulled his head to her shoulder. There she held him as he finally wept, her own heart sad for him. He had already properly dealt with it. She would do what she could to strengthen them. She was glad for the presence of Mitsuhide and Dane to remind her that all of them would do their best to give them their strength. For a brief moment, she missed Kiki, but there wasn't anything to do about that, except let her know in the next letter she sent their other friend and support.

No one got much more sleep that night, save Obi who remained unconscious until the next mid-day.

* * *

 _And...I was completely unable to continue writing from this point on, necessitating going back and revamping the whole touch vs. restraint for Obi and Ilena, who both need touch to feel alive, safe, and connected. As I recall, it took me two days of just letting it sit before my mind finally understood that it was the restraint issue to begin with. I had to walk the chapters from 10 through 22 very carefully after that. It was quite the tightrope. It is so interesting to me as an author how writing works, particularly when you need to be staying true to each character's personality. Hope you found this a little intruiguing. I have a few more I'll post as we pass their cut-points in the books. I just couldn't bear to trash them whole-hog...and really...I'm just S enough that...I secretly enjoyed writing them. (*shhh* Don't tell.)_


	10. Off the Cutting Floor: Disobedient

**[K+]**

 **Off the Cutting Floor: Disobedient**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 2)

 _So,_ _writing this chapter this way showed me what happens when both Obi and Ilena are disobedient to their guards and aides. I never had them do it again after re-writing it. It just wasn't worth it. I was also too eager to have them fighting together. That didn't work since it took Obi out of his strict rule set (particularly the rules he set for Ilena so he could stay her handler) so we got some Dark Obi in the mix as well, since he had to punish her, even though she wasn't really the one at fault in the beginning. (See her first question in the first paragraph.) This would have been in Book 2, Chapter 33._

* * *

They were being called for, but they weren't interested in going. As the voices of their guardians got closer, they sighed. They weren't going to be hidden in the billowing cloths much longer. Obi caressed Ilena one more time. "Are we going to be scolded?" she asked him in a very faint whisper in his ear.

"Are you sure a lord is allowed to be scolded in his own house?" he asked just as quietly. He kissed her neck one more time.

"Yes, sadly," she answered. "I think I shall have to postpone seeing Petroi. He shall be so disappointed."

"Mm, we shall see," Obi said noncommittal.

The cloth they were next to billowed again, hiding them. When it had settled, their guardians were on the other side of it to both ends preventing their escape the easy way down the row, hands on hips or arms folded. Not that they minded seeing them in a loving embrace, but they did mind being ignored for so long.

Obi grinned down the row at Thayne. Ilena looked down the other way at Marcus. Steps in the rows on either side of them let them know the other two were preventing the more difficult escape of under or through the cloths.

Obi raised his eyebrow. "We haven't been moving, you know."

Ilena shook her head. "No, they know me too well. If you weren't holding me, I would have already."

"In your state?"

"Well, perhaps not," she agreed. "But it's a thing from the past. I have actually gone to ground a time or two and had to be fetched. Though why they are thinking such a thing would happen today, when my treasures are finally seeing the light again, I have no idea."

"Because it's always when you won't answer that we know you are going to be the most difficult," answered Marcus, who had approached them, like Thayne who was mirroring him.

"That's far enough," Ilena and Obi said at the same time. Marcus and Thayne stopped immediately. "Don't do it Henry, Petroi," Ilena added. "They were just washed. If they end up on the ground I'll have you washing them all over again, and the rest of the laundry, until sundown." Both men relaxed from the tension they had built up to toss the coverings on top of the pair between them.

"We'll come," Obi said calmly. "Back up and get rid of your hunting air first though." When they had all stepped back a step and a half, he was able to calm better, and Ilena did as well.

"The treasures are all out, except the large pieces," Henry said, knowing general conversation would relax them further. "Foster and Garen have thought of an idea and would like your approval to try it."

"Do you know it?" Ilena asked, not quite ready to move yet.

"They think they might be able to use sailcloth to lower the pieces out of the hole and to the floor below, if there are two or three men to a side of the cloth and another two or three in the closet to steady it down. They've found a small wheeled cart that looks like it could hold the weight of each statue to wheel it down the hall to the stairs. They would have to be lifted down the stairs, of course. It would be helpful if they could be cleaned in the house and just set where you want them now. That way they wouldn't have to be moved quite so much. It already will tax the backs of the men, there are so many."

"There are only seven," Ilena said.

"Well, that may be," Marcus said, "but we have already carted out the rest of them as well."

"Then this moment's rest is beneficial, isn't it?" Ilena said, trying to defend her and Obi's hiding.

Thayne sighed. "Yes, I am sure it is, but your behavior isn't. And to have Master Obi be just as bad today…. I think we may need to have you run it out of your system, and I wish we could run it out of Mistress Ilena's."

Ilena looked at Obi and the fire in her eyes surprised him. He was also tempted to take them on, but time was passing. "Well," he looked down at his feet as he finally released Ilena of one of his arms, still holding on to her with the other around her shoulders, "shall we be moving then?" He turned in the direction of Marcus and made Ilena walk with him. He had a very casual air about him, but he could tell the other men weren't quite sure whether to trust them or not. Marcus wasn't quite sure he wanted to turn his back on them. He compromised by walking backwards, not taking his eyes off them. The other three kept pace with them as well.

Just as they reached the end of the row, and the four guardians were getting tense again, Obi put pressure on Ilena's left shoulder so that she stumbled. "Ah, Ilena, have we stood too long? Here let me carry you," he said and crouched down in front of her, offering her his back.

"Thank you, Obi," she said smoothly. She lay down on his back and he stood and collected up her legs so that she was piggyback. He walked towards the direction of Petroi's row, passing Marcus who wanted them to go that direction so had moved out of their way. She threw the cane as they passed Petroi so that it tangled up his feet and they were off.

"Well, now we will be scolded," she said in his ear, but she didn't sound displeased at all. Obi saved his breath, and didn't bother getting lost in the cloths again. Since there wasn't anywhere to go, really, he just took them back to the back of the house, skidding to a stop at the wall and turning to let Ilena down to lean against it until he could support her again. He was pleased to see that he had left the other three behind and Petroi had indeed been slowed down by having to untangle his feet. He was proud of Ilena for thinking of that. He suspected Petroi was much faster than he had let on to Obi so far.

"Leave your right side to me, Obi," Ilena said to him. "The arc from here to just outside your blind spot." She pulled on him to step a little to the left to defend the side she couldn't use. "Petroi will come for me for pulling that stunt. Take out the rest of them while I keep him occupied. I can do that much, but you'll need to take him down."

The first three were on him, ignoring Ilena thinking they shouldn't attack her injured. But Petroi had no such restriction and did indeed go for her himself. Obi, with his new skills learned in training for the position of Family head, found he could easily see and calculate for the three men in front of him, and at the same time follow Ilena's fight to some degree, which was good because he had to know when to break in. He put down Thayne first. He wanted to know how Henry and Marcus fought. It was almost his undoing. They had doubles fighting down to a science. He finally managed to break their pattern just enough to take down Henry, then shortly thereafter Marcus.

Ilena had waited, watching Petroi. He still had the cane, but she thought he might. And he did use it, again as she thought he might. Blade had always been his advantage against her. This was also them testing each other. They hadn't fought since she was nine, after all. Both were stronger and faster, except for her injury. He was a gentleman about it, not using it against her at the first. She knew he would if she was as good as she hoped, but Obi should be done by then. She dodged the first few swings of the cane, getting the measure for his reach and speed, then she went into the mode where the self disappears and there is only motion. In the next blow, she had grasped the cane and used its motion and force to pull it out of his grip and send him spinning. She rapped his head, shoulders and back quickly in succession before he could turn around again, though he followed through on the spin until he was facing her again. She ignored the look he gave her in favor for staying on alert. She spun the cane, then planted it behind her in the ground. Now they would see what the hand and foot could do. This was more dangerous for both of them.

Petroi's eyes narrowed and she met his rush. Like her challenge with Obi, he mostly attacked and she mostly defended, but again she used his movements against him over and over. This time she had better balance, and could move her body better, thus she was able to duck under his attacks many times, though she had to calculate this time that Petroi's kicks and swings not enter Obi's range. That was a little different for her, but the challenge excited her, though she tried to not let it interfere with her concentration. A few times she threw Petroi into Marcus' space to defend Obi. The first time it was almost Marcus' undoing, he was so surprised, but he learned quickly to watch for sudden incoming arms and legs, and Petroi learned to pull his movements to that direction as well.

Obi was struggling to break through Marcus and Henry's combinations of defense and offence, when he suddenly saw his opportunity and took down Henry. Obi turned to focus on Marcus, who was looking dark, suddenly. As Obi was taking down Marcus, Petroi changed one of his motions at the last minute and made his target Obi, not Ilena. Ilena grabbed at Petroi's arm and, jumping from her right foot, spun horizontally while holding on to that arm, then his shoulder, coming down on his other shoulder with her first hand again, and landing on the grass on her right leg in the end, still upright as the left foot settled to balance her. The move was calculated to hold him still for just another second. It worked. Obi was on Petroi and in two and a half moves had him down on the ground.

"Three minutes, ten seconds," Garen's voice came through. There were grumblings and pleased voices as the bets were paid up.

"That was rather long," Obi complained. "I didn't think to remember that the Twins were perfect partners - I was more interested in testing them. Though I suppose that it was a good enough test for the first time. Next time I'll take them on singly so I can really see what they can do."

"Three minutes was a rather good amount of time for Mother to stand up to Eldest Son, though," Roald said. "And to stay standing."

Petroi nodded as he sat up. "I think so, too. Those were new moves for me to see, for the most part. The last I'm surprised you had the strength to do." He looked at her suspiciously.

Ilena smiled a secret smile. "I have to have something up my sleeve, or the assassins will get to me, you know. You taught me early the best defense was to look defenseless, after all."

Petroi nodded and put his arm on his raised knee. He looked at Obi. "You pulled all those, though. You didn't when you came to get me."

Obi nodded. "I don't use the anger if I can help it. It kills if I'm not careful. I pulled those then, too, stopping just before killing level. I knew what it would do to Mother if I didn't."

"You have that much control?" Petroi's eyes widened.

Obi paused. "I can lose it, but that day, I did. Also, my first attack when I am not expecting to be attacked kills unless I can catch it in time. That's why I don't like it when you guys do that. I don't really want to kill the people I need around me."

Marcus, Henry, and Thayne were cautiously moving the body parts that got the worst thumpings from Obi. They all agreed again, with silent nods, that they wouldn't do that. Pulled punches and kicks hurt bad enough, especially when he was in a hurry to put them down.

"So," Thayne asked, "are you two settled enough then?" None of the four on the ground were going to get up until they were.

Obi nodded. Ilena didn't and he looked at her closely, then swung a kick at her, changing it's course mid swing to plant on the ground and followed through with a punch instead. She blocked it as he expected and he followed through to swing around her and grab her in a hold. The hand that had been holding his punch let go of his wrist and headed for his face in a back hand blow. He dodged it and grabbed that hand, pinning it.

"Damn," she said and held still.

"What?" he asked her calmly.

"No feet," she replied.

The men around her laughed, understanding she would have used a back sweep next to tangle his feet to make him release her.

He kissed her behind the ear. "Relent, or I'll tease."

"That will make it worse, Obi," she complained. She took a deep breath and just before she released it, almost tensed. Obi tightened is grip on her instinctively, and took her down to her knees. He held her there, bowed over, his eyes flashing. She relaxed, relenting. He released the hand he was holding so she could support her own weight. She put it on the ground, then folded into a kneeling ball. He completely released her and sat back on his heels, though he continued to watch her.

"It really isn't fair…," she complained into herself. "Obi is still too much for Ilena. I had only thought it, not even done it. When did you learn to read minds, Obi? I thought you hadn't yet."

"Only yours, and a long time ago. It's been necessary, you know."

"Haaah." She was still and quiet, waiting for Obi to release her.

"Tell Foster what you think of his plan," his voice was commanding but smooth.

"I think it will be okay, but it will tear after the first few statues and I will lose one. You must find more than one cloth that will work, or use two or three together would be even better. But even better is ropes meant for that kind of work. I'll ask my collector if you wish to know what he did." She stayed still. Obi looked at Foster, who rubbed his chin. "Roald has the answer in him, but he isn't sure he should be so open about his past," Ilena added. "And two of those who came with him have the skills."

Foster looked at Roald. "Well, then, man, spit it out. It's better to know the right way to do it than watch Mother dissolve into a puddle of tears amidst the fragments of a treasure."

Roald's ears turned red. "Well...if it's two, then it would be…," he looked around and gestured with his head at two of his group, they nodded and got up from where they were lounging.

"We'll need ropes, then, Mister Foster," they said. "For that weight, and numbers, probably three of them, and four men up top. Three to hold and one to push it over the edge."

"Nope, two per rope," Roald rejected their first idea. "You didn't see what they're made of." Their eyes went wide and he grinned.

"George wouldn't let them use just any stone for me," Ilena agreed. "Each of them made one as their final test before he passed them out of journeyman. He wanted to know if they could work that hard a stone and still create something beautiful. I'm happy with them being cleaned in-house. Obi needs to decide if he wants them as sentinels down the main upper hallway or along the main entry hall run before you bring them down the stairs. If they go upstairs, you need to set them over the sturdy columns holding the hallway up. It won't do to put them on just floorboards. My collector was specific where he put them in that attic or they would be on the first floor by now."

"Ah, six ropes then and we'll double them up," the first man said with a gulp.

"Will the rolling cart hold them, then?" asked one of the other men.

Roald nodded. "That kind that is here was made for it. It's probably his that he's left for that purpose to begin with. But I would still like to know how he got them up there."

"Get moving then," Obi said, still with his quiet commanding voice. "When you've got one down, cleaned up and in the light I'll come take a look at it and see where it should go."

The men who had not been participants in the fight got up and went to do his bidding. When they were gone, Obi looked at Petroi with piercing eyes. Petroi showed he was already backed down. When Obi was satisfied, he blinked and released him. Petroi relaxed. Obi looked at Thayne next, who did the same, sitting with his hands resting on his raised knees, his head bowed a little, looking up through his lashes at him. When Obi was satisfied, he tossed his head and released him. Thayne flopped back onto his back, flinging his arms out to either side.

Obi looked at the Twins. They were sitting together, Marcus' head in Henry's lap. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't let them go just yet. Henry ran his fingers through Marcus' hair. "He's upset he let you through to take me down first. It'll be okay." Obi picked to check on Marcus first, then. He was pretty upset. He looked away from Obi and turned his head to Henry's lap. Obi looked at Henry, who didn't look back up at him, and kept his posture submissive. He moved over to them and touched Marcus on the cheek he could see. Marcus shivered. Obi lifted his chin enough to see he was crying slow leaky tears.

"Really, Marcus," Obi said gently. "What is it?" He waited until Marcus opened his eyes. He was feeling lonely and lost. Obi sighed and said, "Sit up, Marcus." Henry helped him to sit up. He sat crosslegged, his hands in his lap, not looking up. "Tell me your story." Obi sat one leg with the knee up, the other tucked underneath it. He rested against his raised knee as he looked at Marcus, giving him his full attention, except was was reserved for Ilena.

Marcus told his story of how he had come to follow Mother and Henry after they had stopped his father from beating him in the street in front of their house. It had been the last time he had been home, because that beating was the final one after being thrown out by that same father. He'd had nowhere else to go, but to follow them.

 _I've cut out the full story because it appears elsewhere in the story since the edit._

Marcus stopped talking and bit his lip. Obi waited a moment, then asked, "So, why is it so hard to take a beating from me? Because of your father?"

Marcus shook his head. "It's because if we are supposed to follow her we are supposed to protect her. What will happen if, because we aren't strong enough, we let everyone down by letting an enemy get to her? ...I guess I feel like it's you telling us we still aren't there, and you're disappointed. I don't like Henry getting taken out, either. Because he helped me survive, its personal to me that he stay alive."

"You realize I've spent the whole time I was a nightrunner learning to protect her best, right?" Obi said. "Petroi may still yet be better than me because he keeps holding back when I test him, but I don't know anyone else who can best me at hand-to-hand combat anymore. After I got taken out by Mistress's kidnappers I've been working very hard, even though that was a distraction win on their part. I don't let myself get distracted any more. And with all the training for the Family I just went through, I'm even better because I have more capacity to take it all in and use my natural reflexes better. Just because I can take you down in a few moves doesn't mean you aren't capable of protecting her, or even Henry. Comparing yourself to one person only helps if you can look back at them in the eye and say that someday you'll surpass them. And as I said, as long as the two of you are fighting together, you're pretty close to my equal. I had to look hard to find that slight separation. I suspect it was because you reacted just a little too soon to Petroi being thrown your way, so in a way it's Mother's fault."

"That was on purpose. I was getting tired and needed Obi to come take down Petroi. I'd watched him on the other throws and sent Petroi just a little farther than he expected that time. I knew Petroi didn't need to touch him, just get inside his field." They stared at her. She still hadn't moved, though she had shifted just slightly to ease her hip and knees. She waited. They really didn't know what to say to that. "Next time fight him without me. Then you'll know better how you compare against him. This time you were a pair fighting a pair with an odd man thrown in, since we can't count Thayne at that time in the fight. Ah, but lest you think Thayne is less for it, Obi chose him to go out first. If he'd taken either of you out first, the fight would have been a lot shorter. The first strike of Obi's is the quickest. None of you can best it."

"Even Petroi?" asked Obi. Ilena was silent. Obi looked at Petroi.

He shrugged. "Did you best me or not on that day?"

Obi remembered that Petroi had been out to kill him. His first strike had gotten in first anyway. He nodded. "Yeah, I remember it. As soon as I realized the first strike wasn't going to be enough, the fight got fun...though that was under the anger."

Petroi nodded. "I enjoyed the match, too, under the anger. It was good to get it all out at once."

Obi looked closely at Marcus one more time. He seemed to be recovering. "We'll have a match again. I'll beat you in the end, or end the match when I'm satisfied, but then you'll be able to judge it better."

Marcus nodded. "And I'll learn to dodge the first strike." He smiled just a little bit.

Obi smiled back. "After you've learned to see it." Marcus was on his back. Obi had hit him on the chest and returned to his position so fast no one was sure they'd seen it.

Marcus groaned and put his arm over his eyes. "Haah, Master Obi. That's harsh. But I'll work on it." Henry put his hand on his partner's shoulder to strengthen him.

Obi grinned. "Keep working hard, Marcus." He turned to Ilena who by now was so relaxed as to look like she was sleeping, if she hadn't just talked to them. Then suddenly she wasn't and Obi tensed in reaction. Then she was and he was confused. He watched her for a while, then, when she was relaxed, he tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ah!" she held still.

"What are you doing?"

She held very still, then sighed, giving up. "I was doing my strengthening exercises while waiting on you. I'm sorry I got bored again. ...but you've never noticed it before now."

"You...what?"

"It's what I learned to do while waiting for my seven months to be up. I learned to use little bits of tension to keep the muscles moving to keep their strength up. It isn't perfect for that long a time period, but I was still able to walk and sit up somewhat when I got out. I do it naturally now whenever I'm holding still too long, mostly to keep myself from moving otherwise. It's not something most people recognize or even see."

"Hmm...because I'm keyed to it right now, that wasn't a good idea."

"Sorry. As I said I got distracted. It was a long story, as much as I love the Twins." She was completely relaxed again, and maintaining that state.

 _Master Obi, we have the first statue down. It will be ready for you to look at shortly._

"There are things to be doing, Ilena, that you have started and have interrupted my own plans for the day with. I did not appreciate you thinking of continuing what should have been ended."

"I'm sorry, Obi, for not reconsidering my selfish desires."

"Consider it until I return from looking at the statue."

"Yes, Obi."

He stood and took Thayne and Petroi with him, Marcus and Henry staying to watch over her. It was a good way to keep her out of trouble for just a little longer.

The statue was a life replica of a rearing horse, though about half size. Obi touched it. The stone was warm, yet very smooth and hard. He ran his hand over it. If it had the feel of the bear statue, he would have felt the short coarse hair of a horse. Because it wasn't quite to that caliber of statue, he only imagined he did. He had to touch the whole thing to make his eyes believe it wasn't real. When he was done, he looked up through the hole to the attic. Roald and his two were looking down at him, crouched around the hole.

"Amazing, isn't it," Roald said. "If we could move it really, it wouldn't stay here long." He held up his hand in defense, "Not that we'd take it. We're here so we'll get to see it every day. It's just that…." He shook his head and stayed quiet.

"I take it I'll have to read your story tonight," Obi said folding his arms. "I've just listened to one, so don't have the time to hear another one, sorry." Roald blushed a little. "Are all of them like this one?"

Roald shook his head. "Each one's a little different. And they aren't all horses. It looks like birds and other animals are here, too."

Obi wondered if the bears were a continuation of this same theme. "Is there a falcon up there? And maybe a cat?"

One of Roald's men went off to look. He gave the list when he came back. "Falcon - yes, eagle, big cat - ah actually two of them intertwined, leaping dolphin, dog - though that doesn't do it justice, and mother's favorite which isn't quite as big. She's told us to not uncover it so I don't know what it is."

Obi went back out into the hall. The men not up in the attic were waiting there. "Foster, do we know where the pillars are if I want them in here?" Foster nodded and showed him how to tell where they were. He looked up the hall. There were six, if he didn't include the favorite. That would put three on each wing. He kind of could see where they would go. He went down the main stairs to the entry hall. It was a bit short for six statues that size, but he'd had an idea. He walked down to the dining hall. He could almost see it. He called for four men to come join them, then had the six of them stand where he was thinking the statues could go, he rearranged just a bit, then nodded and stated which statue they each were and sent them back up to see that it was done, keeping Petroi and Marcus with him.

Foster called back to see where he wanted Mother's favorite. Obi said he expected it to end up in the master suite, but for now to just bring it to the upper landing of the entry hall. That way when it was unveiled they could all see it properly. Satisfied that would be taken care of properly, he told Petroi and Thayne to go to the office with several bottles of wine and a handful of glasses and prepare it for his meetings.

Obi returned to the back yard of the house and his waiting wife. He looked at her, then crouched down close to her. "You did not tense up because you were going to fight me. You did it because there was a result you wanted. Sit up."

Ilena sat up and looked at him calmly with an obedient expression on her face. It was all marred somewhat by the red spot on her forehead where she had been resting it on the backs of her hands, but it was her eyes he was looking at. "What punishment do you expect for it?" he asked her.

She hesitated. "Ilena does not know the mind of Obi in this matter."

"What would I normally do, Ilena?"

She considered it. "When Ilena is not obedient, Obi normally removes privileges."

Obi nodded. "Your punishment is to have to live through the privilege, being obedient the entire time in order to practice obedience."

Her eyes dilated. He'd been right. She had decided on her own she still wasn't ready to face Petroi. Petroi had finished his punishment and was due his reward. She needed to grant it even if she was still frightened herself - it was only right.

"Do you understand what obedience is required?" Obi asked her.

Ilena swallowed. "To not make Obi jealous. To reward the reward that is due. To remain Mother during the time."

"What will be the hardest?"

"To remain Mother," her focus was very far away. He shifted to bring it back again. She started very slightly but looked like she'd been slapped. He held her present gaze until she trembled. He frowned slightly. She slowly closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly let it go. She clenched her hand, then deliberately let it relax, relaxing her back at the same time. She breathed a few more times, then opened her eyes and looked at him again. It was a forced settle, but even that would strengthen her. She continued to breathe carefully to maintain that state.

"What will help you to remain Mother?" he asked her.

Tears began to drip from her eyes, though her expression and state did not change altogether very much. He considered. "Who's heart hurts?" he asked her.

"The child's," she answered.

"Did it hurt to send him away?" She nodded. "What does the child need?"

"Forgiveness," she said.

Obi considered. He could comfort her, but he couldn't give forgiveness - only Petroi could do that. She wasn't wrong to want that part of her healed either. He nodded. "After you have been obedient and given the proper reward, you may ask for forgiveness. If he will give it, you may be the child as long as the other requirements are met." She trembled. "What is it?"

"I do not know how to tell when Obi will be jealous." There was pain in her eyes now.

Obi put the back of his hand on her cheek, but held her gaze. "I'll shift when I've become uncomfortable. Then you'll know that I'll soon be jealous." He held his hand in place until she breathed properly again and was beginning to settle, then he let it fall so she could continue to calm. When she reached full calm, she was looking at him with the eyes of the Lady and was searching his own face, then looking deeply into his eyes. Her lips parted, but she didn't say it. He held it until it wasn't so impatient to be said, then nodded.

"Is Obi's heart ready for that? Obi is very jealous for the child." Her gaze stayed that deep one that read hearts.

Obi breathed a slightly deeper breath than normal and seriously considered it. He felt his Father heart rise up in him, tender for the child and wanting what was needful for her. His jealous heart was present, but was far underneath it. He nodded. "I'm ready, but will pay attention and move before the jealous heart surfaces." He studied her gaze again. She was returning from the deep look. When they were looking at each other calmly again, he waited two breaths then held out his hand to her.

Ilena took his hand and rose stiffly. Henry handed her the cane he had pulled from the earth and cleaned off. She used it to finish standing upright. Obi looked at her concerned. She shook her head. "It will work out as we walk," she said and he nodded.


	11. Off the Cutting Floor: Ilena Scolds Zen

[K+]

 **Off the Cutting Floor: Ilena Scolds Zen**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 2)

 _Chapter 45 of Book 2 (the last one) was a scary chapter. All kinds of bad things happened in it I had to go back and fix in the few chapters before it and in it itself. I had no idea letting Izana see the statue of Mother was going to create a horrible rift and darkness in everyone and everything. That got edited out and trashed. (Sorry, I can't post those as they really were trashed, they were so scary. It's where the two men protect her and make her protect them comes in, and her need to have Zen properly scold her after the fact came from. I left those little bits in as necessary. Izana does really look for any excuse to snatch her up for himself, even though he knows he shouldn't...or perhaps it's because he's testing her resolve, but it's scary.)_

 _This clip came after that, once they were at lunch. I originally had it so that Zen wanted them to leave_ _two days later_ _after this luncheon at Falcon's Hollow to go on the requirement to Lyrias. Both Shirayuki and Ilena hit the roof, Shirayuki at the morning meeting with him that very morning, having only heard it then for the first time (that part was edited out and erased) and Ilena hearing it for the first time at the luncheon, as follows:_

* * *

Ilena turned back to Zen and her eyes narrowed. He braced for more. "Already you've asked me to tell you the things that are happening on my board every two days so that you may understand how to be prepared, as is appropriate, and this thing with the horses I would have said to you in our next meeting tomorrow morning. When you say tomorrow will be focused on the Prince of Selicia, I hope you were also planning on telling me in our meeting what you anticipate saying to the Prince of Selicia so I may properly know how to support you in that meeting before it takes place." Her lips pursed. "You continue to keep your board shrouded from me and your lips closed until it's too late for me to assist you. If you will persist in it, I will fail your exam now and we will begin retraining immediately." The last sentence was very clipped and her lips shut tightly closed, become mostly an angry line, matching her eyes.

Zen sat shell-shocked for a moment. That had been rather a lot. He decided to let the first two points go to Tairn for handling, as he had already picked them up as schedule items. "I'm sorry I still don't understand the full requirements of the Department of Intelligence and my duties to it," he said humbly, then paused, "but the other, it is a bit much, perhaps?"

"Were you planning on showing me your board as it relates to Selicia tomorrow morning, or wait until the meeting to surprise me?" she asked coldly.

"Ah…, I was going to talk to you about the meeting, certainly," he said.

"But were you going to show me the future path relating to it?" she pressed him, "And your goals in holding it to begin with?"

"Ah, perhaps not so much as would have benefitted you…?" he said cautiously.

"It is not a benefit to me, Master Zen," she was sibilant as a snake now, her eyes lidded half-way, and people wanted to move away, even Obi. "It is to prevent you from making fatal mistakes that I will leave you to clean up, if it is even possible. This is why you should be failed now, rather than later. Too many of those mistakes will make the final goal unrealizable."

Zen did go pale now. "Do you need to know the whole board all at once?" his voice was a bit choked.

Ilena looked at him as a cat looks at a mouse for just a moment. "No. I only need to know the things in the near future before you act on them, so that in the acting you do not make the errors. Approximately one month prior should be sufficient, unless you begin to move too quickly again. Then I shall need more information and more frequently." Her voice was still very smooth.

Zen was slightly relieved that it could be in pieces as he was prepared to move. "How frequently in general?"

"At - every - two - days - meetings." Her slitted eyes held him trapped as she stabbed him with each word. "That is too slow for me," she added as a warning, "because you move too quickly when you move. You must promise that you will not move without speaking to me first."

Obi was at a loss. He would have reprimanded her firmly for that last statement, and many of the previous ones as well, but he was unable to break through her anger any more than anyone else. Only Zen could answer for himself.

Zen took a deep breath. "I promise, and I will be more open about my board at each meeting, letting you know with enough advanced warning to guard my steps before I take them. I will begin practicing this tomorrow morning at the regular meeting. Please take care of me." He bowed his head to her for a moment, then looked up at her again.

Ilena looked at him a while longer, calming herself down somewhat and confirming he would be obedient, then said, "It is sufficient. See to it." Zen inclined his head to her again, then looked up and down the row of advisors to see if anyone else had a complaint.

Obi only had an apology in his eyes for Ilena's behavior, but Zen forgave him. She hadn't been wrong, and neither had Shirayuki. Shirayuki's ears were red and she hadn't been the one scolded. That put a slight smile on Zen's face for just a moment. Tairn and Dane were both reeling, but Mitsuhide and Kiki were in agreement with Ilena, their cold shoulders saying so. Zen wasn't surprised. They were very strict with him. The other guards were keeping still and quiet to stay out of the range of the anger and his eyes skimmed over them, finally coming to rest on Prince Raji and Princess Alia. They were looking at Ilena and him quite aghast. It was a thing they had perhaps never really experienced for themselves. When Raji saw Zen was looking at him, he blinked and closed his mouth, his eyes asking questions.

"Do you remember what we were talking about on the way here?" Zen asked Raji casually as he used his knife to cut a fancily cut cucumber slice.

"Ah...yes," Raji said carefully, not sure he should interrupt the air with his voice.

"You've just had a most perfect example of it, I think," Zen said. He pricked the cut cucumber with his fork and placed it in his mouth, and chewed it slowly. He looked at Raji again to see if he was comprehending it, glancing at Alia as well. Slowly, their faces showed that they were indeed comprehending it, putting his words from before together with the actions of this moment just past. It was, perhaps, the most important lesson the youthful royalty from Tanbarun would learn on this trip and would probably give them the next greatest benefit to build on what they had already learned from before. Raji nodded. "Then perhaps my bleeding corpse shall be grateful that it has been of some benefit," Zen said as he ate the other piece of cucumber off his plate.

Ilena bowed her head to him. "My pardon for losing my temper, Master Zen," she said calmly, as if it had never happened, lifting her utensils again to eat calmly. Shirayuki also resumed eating calmly and the room slowly thawed and returned to a normal state, though perhaps slightly subdued.

Obi decided to refrain from lightening it above that level. There would be time enough for that at the Black Cat. But, he did say to Zen confidentially as they were leaving Falcon's Hollow to return to Wilant City, "I also was super scolded this morning by Grandfather. It seems to be a day for it."

Zen looked at him. "For not waking up on time?"

Obi shook his head. "Also for not communicating sufficiently in the proper time. I scolded Ilena for the same thing on the way here also. It seems to be a common malady today."

Zen looked at him, then sighed. "It really hasn't helped to be overly busy these last two weeks. It becomes too difficult to remember it all."

"Ah, yes, like Master forgetting to tell Mistress about the room change. Were you scolded for that, too?"

"No. ...Well, that was the bet I punished Mitsuhide and Kiki for, so perhaps in the end I was." Zen looked a bit crestfallen to Obi.

Obi clapped his hand on Zen's shoulder, "Well, now that the scoldings are out of the way, it should be much easier, yes?"

Zen looked at him sourly. "Says the person who doesn't have to figure out how to put together a honeymoon-progression-requirement." He sighed.

Obi glanced over at the women. "Well, don't give up hope yet, Master. Sometimes once the complaint is aired and answered, they are willing to help make it happen easily." He looked back at Zen's surprised and doubtful expression. "After all, they want to go too, you know," he smiled.

Zen considered that, then nodded slowly. "Well, I will hope for that, then," he said. He sighed, "It's all I can hope for after all."

* * *

 _After the scoldings, he was left with the feeling it wasn't going to happen, necessarily, since neither one was going to really have the time to properly prepare. So, in the edited version, he doesn't schedule it for two days after, but rather more like a week or so out. That helped a lot. :-) This is also where the careful planning of the meeting with the prince of Selicia comes from in Book 3, Chapter 2, and all the more detailed planning of the campaign against Tarc. I kept this because there aren't actually too many examples of Ilena's famous anger, though those of you who've read through Book 2 know this would have been Zen's second angry scolding._


	12. Off the Cutting Floor: Night House Visit

[T]

 **Off the Cutting Floor: Night House Visit**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 3)

 _This_ _comes in as they are walking to the House of the Queen to take Ilena back for the first time. She has just followed along with Obi on his own plan, not letting him know anything in advance. It was so awful that I had to go back to Book 3 Chapter 5 and fix it. First I had to go look up all the many, many rules Obi had taught to Ilena in Books 1 & 2, then make sure she kept every single one of them. Then we were able to make our way out of the tangled mess the below came. (It sort of became her final exam, all unknowingly.) _

* * *

"Just so long as you don't tantrum while we're there, anything is fine with me," Marcus said dryly.

Ilena had slipped away from Obi so fast that Marcus had a lump on his head before Obi had caught her hand again. Ilena sniffed at Marcus and lifted her nose at him, then turned her back on him. The other's grinned while Marcus rubbed his head ruefully. "I forget you're that fast," he complained.

"She doesn't need it much in the castle," Henry reminded him.

Thayne patted Marcus on the shoulder. "She likes the unexpected attacks best, too, remember?"

"Ah, yeah, I don't know how I could have forgotten that," Marcus said glumly.

"That was the first thing she did that made me actually look at her," Obi mentioned calmly, keeping a slightly tighter hold on her.

It looked like they wanted the story, so Obi told of how when they brought her from the Osterly garrison to the castle, she had taught them beforehand what she would do to get through any ambush that would be waiting - she would do the unexpected. She also taught Shirayuki what to do so that when they were in that situation she would be empowered to act instead of fearful. That had also been a first for Obi who had only ever seen Shirayuki carefully protected before. Shirayuki had been grateful, and Obi had gone to the garrison captain with his own plan which was a modification of Ilena's to match the abilities of the soldiers who would be guarding them.

When they'd been ambushed, at the very place she had said they would be, his plan had been carried out exactly and had been highly successful. She had laughed at what he had chosen to do because it had been such a perfectly planned and executed plan. Obi had been impressed, both with her ability to strategize and to creatively think, but even more with her ability to laugh after danger had passed safely by because of the joy of the outcome. Obi had done it again later, when he had taken the second set of witnesses into protective custody, and he had been just as thrilled with that outcome. She had taught him an important way to think, and she was winning his heart.

Obi pulled her to him and kissed her just at the memory. Ilena blushed and he looked at her in surprise. "What is it?"

"Obi, do you know just how many nightwalkers are watching us right now, wondering why you have a woman on your arm and two extra guards?"

"No," he said, "I wasn't paying attention." He pulled her closer to kiss her again to tease her and she put her palm on his face.

-o-o-o-

Obi let her take a breath to center as he put his hand up to knock with the member of the House code. When she was ready, he smiled at her nod and knocked. The door was opened and he led the six of them in. As he walked, silence spread from them to go around the room until every eye was on them. Ilena had at first looked around the room, but as soon as she saw the Lieutenants up on their raised dais, sitting on the cushions they sat on, her eyes locked onto them. She couldn't help herself. Obi could feel it, the rise of the noble in her, but somehow it didn't feel like the Queen quite, at least not the Queen he was used to. Their eyes were also locked on to her. He stopped them at the front of the dais and looked at Ilena. She was completely calm and composed, full of power and strength, but she was not dark.

"Landras, Danel, Barakka," she nodded at each one, looking them in the eye as she called them, stopping on Barakka's eyes and holding them. He held hers as long as he could, then bowed his head to the floor. She looked at Danel and held his eyes until he did the same. She turned to Landras and as soon as she had locked eyes with him he bowed to her a faint smile on his face. "Report," she said. "Summary."

Danel, on Obi and Ilena's left, began with a summary report of the growth of the House and the general well being of the members. Obi already knew that his focus and heart was for the House and its members. When he was done, Ilena said, "It is well. You may rise." Danel sat up, his face calm and his eyes smiling.

Landras, on Obi and Ilena's right, went second and gave a summary of the loyalty of the House and its earnings. Obi had learned quickly that this Lieutenant was very loyal to Ilena. When he was done Ilena said again, "It is well. You may rise," and Landras sat up, his eyes sparkling and his face content.

Barakka, in the middle, sat silent as Ilena looked at him. She gave him sufficient time to speak, then said, "Obi, why have you brought me?"

He considered briefly, then went to semi-formal mode, to match more closely the face she was presenting. "To repent to the Children of Ilena for removing your light."

Ilena nodded and paused momentarily. "Barakka, rise," she commanded. He sat up and his face was anguished. Her eyes pained at the sight and she bowed to him. "Barakka, I hope that you may be able to forgive me for not understanding correctly. I'm sorry to have stayed away for so long." She held it for a breath, then rose again to look at him and her face was soft for him, her eyes sad. As he looked at her, his eyes slowly filled with tears. Ilena carefully stepped up on the dais and walked up to him. She knelt in front of him and placed her hand in front of his eyes, giving him a place of privacy to grieve. She breathed quietly and calmly, waiting for him, the rest of the room being still out of respect.

Obi had actually expected this. Barakka was the hardest of the three Lieutenants, and had been against Obi at the beginning. It was he who Obi had to make the promise to. When that had been the answer, Obi knew that of all the Children in this room, Ilena's missing light had affected Barakka the most.

Obi reached into his pocket. The Children of Ilena, when they saw her again after a long time or talked about her, invariably cried. He had invested in a box full of handkerchiefs and now carried them everywhere. He'd grabbed several before heading out on this trip. When it looked like Barakka was calming, he passed the handkerchief to Ilena and she placed it into the hand of Barakka. He took the offered cloth, then grasped her hand before she could move it away. She allowed it, remaining calm.

"I will wait, Barakka," she said gently. "I won't leave too soon." When Barakka finally let her hand go, she said, "Petroi, Thayne, hold him."

Obi found the order confusing, thinking she meant Barakka. He was very surprised when Petroi and Thayne laid hands on him instead. He looked at Thayne. "It might help to not look, Father," Thayne said soberly.

Obi turned to Petroi, a bit of his panic leaking into his face. Petroi held his gaze, keeping his own calm, but requiring Obi to continue to look at him. "What is it?" Obi demanded harshly.

Petroi's eyes went gentle. "Bear it with patience, Master Obi. She will win out in the end, and it is necessary."

Obi's eyes unfocused. Memories flashed through his mind and the one that stuck was the man code named Ivy who had done a very hard thing for Ilena, so hard that when he had returned and begun to recover he had hunted Ilena down to repay hurt for hurt. They had proven to him that she could not be killed over and over until he had finally fallen before her in tears, repentant for his anger. Then she had finally released him from her service, but had promised him continued support until he was fully healed. He was even now still helping Ryuu and Doctor Elliot with their research in relation to his given task. When the research was completed and published, he would be returned to the outside world to begin a new life altogether, where the old one could slip away into the distant past for him but not remain an injury to cripple him. Obi sucked in a breath and more hands were placed on him. Because he was no longer seeing Petroi, his head turned to face Ilena and Barakka, and his eyes focused on Ilena.

Ilena had a calm look on her face still, with sorrow written on it. It was the same look she had always had whenever Ivy had come after her. But then, she had allowed her guards to stand between him and her to prevent him from reaching her. This time, there was nothing between her and a man who knew how to kill. Ivy had been a weak researcher. Barakka was ruthless. Obi began to tremble. He was afraid for her and angry with himself for not seeing it before he had brought her.

"Obi," it was the calm voice of Landras, standing nearby, perhaps one of the hands holding him still. "She was undefeatable at Farmor. If you've brought her, she's ready." Obi shook his head in denial. He had not known or he would have waited until she was stronger. A hand on him tightened. "Please trust her." Landras who trusted her in all things. Obi's eyes went to him and the eyes that caught him indeed held trust and calmness.

"I haven't seen it," he said, his voice torn.

Landras nodded without taking his eyes from Obi's. "We were the ones who held her from killing Earl College when he foolishly allowed her a knife. We were the ones who would not support the man who died. We have seen it."

Obi knew those stories. He held on to them and to Landras' eyes and when Ilena began to move in his peripheral vision, he held himself still and willed himself to see only the man in front of him, though all the hands on him had to hold him tighter still as well. Three times he saw her knife flash. On the fourth, the movement behind the people in front of him ceased. She slowly moved back and the knife went back into its sheath. After two breaths, Ilena's voice came. "You may release him." The hands before him removed themselves, but the people didn't move, waiting to see what he would do.

Ilena continued to move back, though she didn't turn her back to Barakka, until she stood beside the other Lieutenants that were standing in front of Obi, blocking most of the view of the dais. They moved back, still looking at Obi, until they were between Ilena and Barakka, then they switched places turning to look at Barakka while Ilena turned to face Obi. The Lieutenants bent down to Barakka, but Obi had only eyes for Ilena. His first thought was she was alive. The second was she was unharmed and relief began in him, but it was quickly consumed by his anger that she would have placed herself in this situation without clearly explaining it to him. It was direct disobedience to one of his earliest rules for her, that of protecting herself because she was his partner, and a second one of telling him all things beforehand so he would know how to protect her.

"Ilena," his voice was calm and cold. "You have been disobedient to my orders, twice, in this thing."

"I'm sorry, Master Obi," she said in the manner from that time so very long ago, bowing to him properly, then rising again.

Obi's hand rose of its own accord. He backhanded her and she accepted it, catching herself so as to not fall, and returning to her position in front of him. Her eyes did not challenge him, but remained obedient. He held out his hand. "Your belt," he said shortly. She obediently removed her belt with its attached sword and knife, did the buckle back up and handed him the loop of the belt. He placed it over his head to have the belt crosswise over his chest and the blades along his back. He held out his hand to her again, and she took it. He pulled her to stand next to him, within the circle of the guards. "You will be guarded by others until you learn to protect yourself properly again," he clearly explained to her.

Now Obi looked at the dais, his eyes cold and hard. Barakka had three new wounds on his already very scarred face. He was being tended to by the House doctor. "Where is the fourth wound?" Obi asked Ilena.

"It was unnecessary. He yielded to it," she answered humbly.

Obi looked at him a moment longer, then looked to Danel who was sitting in his place calmly. Obi could tell he was holding the House still. Obi looked at him until he bowed his head to him and raised it to look him in the eye again. Obi turned to look at Landras who was standing, still looking at him. Obi could feel the Consort rise in him to look at Landras out of his own eyes, claiming his right to this place and the things he had done here, and his stance echoed it, his eyes ordering Landras to submit to it. Landras finally bowed to him, and all the room bowed with him save Ilena, though she remained humble towards him.

When they rose, Obi stepped up on the dais and Landras moved back to his position and stood in it respectfully. Obi walked up to Barakka and looked down on him, crossing his arms. "Has your requirement been met?" Obi asked him, meaning the original one from when he had first come to the House and required of them that they be obedient to him and the Queen.

Barakka placed his hands on the knees of his crossed legs and bowed respectfully to Obi, his eyes lowered. "Yes, Master Obi."

Obi wanted to kill him, but he held still. He could feel that Barakka was calm and healed, and was the stronger for what had been done. He accepted that strength and calm for himself, being the one who had allowed it to be given to him. When he was ready, he turned on his heel and walked until he was only a few steps from the edge of the dais. As he began to look around the room his eyes first caught Ilena's. She had the eyes of the falcon again, and he tucked that bit of information away with the memory of this night.

The room was still and calm, waiting for him. Calmly, but with his voice still hard, Obi gave his orders. "Outside this room, the Queen of Knight is to be known as 'Obi's Woman' and they are to be given to understand that to touch Obi's Woman is to die. To break this law is to die a thousand deaths." Obi had set the most stringent punishment if it was so much as thought outside the room and the House. He had understood when Landras had talked about Ilena's past that she had been the Steward in this place before them. "You have sought to see the Steward this night, and have called her back, when I came to tell you at the first that she was dead. With my blow, I have sent her back to the grave. Do not call her forth again. ...Because you have not understood my message, the Queen is taken from you and will only answer to the Regent, to whom she belongs. You are now mine because of your disobedience to her voice. Only the Knight will hear her voice from this time on, for only he is fully obedient to her. You are now the House of Obi and you will only see Obi's Woman when I choose to bring her with me."

* * *

 _Yeah. So in this version, you get to see the darker (half-moon Steward) Ilena in action and the angry Obi. It didn't work. I had to sit on this one and work out where to put the correction in, though his scold that she'd broken two rules was my clue. I do like how the edited Book 3 Chapter 5 came out much better, and it led to a better visit in Lyrias as well._


	13. Off the Cutting Flr: Obi Surprises Ilena

[T]

 **Off the Cutting Floor: Obi Surprises Ilena**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 3)

 _So, at the beginning of the progress there is a time where Obi (riding ahead to confirm the safety of each stop) can easily visit Zen, Shirayuki, and Ilena. (Book 3 Chapter 14) The first time I wrote it, I had him pay them a surprise visit. They've been apart about three days and three nights, if I remember correctly. This is what happened._

* * *

Now they were going first to the site of the old Farmor manor. When Shirayuki was done with her Olin Maris, they would go to the site of the new Farmor manor to visit with the new earl for lunch. Then it would be going up into the mountain to the new North Pass Garrison, built where the battle against Marcovik College had been held, to stay the night. Obi would be coming from there this morning and headed to the next stop, one of the two baronies that had also been rebuilt after the battle. The carriage and half the guards had been sent on to the new manor, as not everyone needed to be present for Shirayuki's research part of the trip. Currently it was Ilena, Zen, Shirayuki, and the eight personal knights only.

Ilena sighed. This part was perhaps the saddest of the trip, these first few days. It certainly had the most memories for her. She was hoping to settle them all, and put it all behind her after this. It wasn't really helping that everyone around her was walking on eggshells about it either...well, except Marcus and Henry who were watching her carefully, but just as carefully trying to keep up their usual light-hearted banter. She liked that better, so she was occasionally joining in to keep it going. That seemed to keep everyone relaxed just enough, too.

They were arriving at the burned manor home she had known for sixteen years and run for eight as steward. That was probably the hardest. That she had kept it going, cleaned, tended, and now it was gone in one wasteful night. Ilena did have to admit that if they'd had to sleep there that night she would have bypassed it and gone straight to the next place.

A faint familiar scent reached her nose and she realized with a start she had stopped her horse and was just staring blankly into space. The others had left her alone for now, though she could feel them close by. Shirayuki was directing Zen around the manor to the back gardens. The hope was that the fire wouldn't have gotten to them. The scent tickled her nose again, more strongly this time, and now she could hear horse hooves. She turned to see three horses break out from the wood-lined lane that led to the courtyard.

Ilena held very still, but she quivered, her eyes only for the man in front.

Henry sighed. "Now we have to start all over."

"Well, no, I think I agree with him. If she's going to need support, this is the place," Marcus disagreed with his partner.

"He needs it, too," Ilena said. "He also needs the closure."

"Trust Mother to be able to speak when the rest of her has shut down," Henry said dryly.

It was really the last coherent thing Ilena heard for a short while. It took everything she had just to sit still on her pony. All she could think about was that he would be disappointed in her if she broke the rule of restraint until he released her. She didn't wake back up from her hyper-focus until she realized he was kissing her and she was standing on the ground. A kiss like that meant she could release her restraints, at least somewhat, but it was hard to find the balance and for a while she struggled to find it. She was glad that he'd released the kiss when she'd woken up, and that he was still holding on to her tightly as she bounced between wanting to push him to the ground or to cry hysterically. "Don't let go," she said, a bit surprised she managed that much.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"You've surprised me and I don't know where to settle. If you let go too soon, the ground under our feet will be our next bowery."

*Pft!* Obi turned his head away and his ears turned red, but he didn't let go. "That really wasn't what I expected to hear," he said when he recovered.

"Well, I like that option better than the other one," she said honestly.

"And the other one is the one I'm probably expecting," Obi said and his arms relaxed just a little bit.

"Don't!" Ilena said, just a little hysterically, and she hid her face in his chest, holding on tightly to his jacket.

Obi held her tightly again and let her breathe, his lips on her head.

"Obi."

"Master," Obi's voice held just a bit of a grin. Ilena knew it would be his friendly grin that hid everything else. "We're on our way past from the North Pass Garrison. The timing worked out well."

"I see," Zen's voice said he was sure Obi had planned it. "You could have warned us?"

"No," Obi said, "I was thinking if I did Ilena wouldn't wait for you this morning."

"Well, judging from her reaction, I think it would have gone over better if you had."

"Well," Obi looked back down at her, "perhaps you're right. She did manage to stay on her pony until I took her down myself. That was a surprise in itself….and I did have to get pretty extreme to drag her back."

"So I noticed," Zen said very dryly. Ilena wondered what else Obi had done other than just kiss her.

"No, really, Obi. Tell me next time," she complained at him. "I had to put the restraints on so tightly I've rebounded horribly."

"Ah, I'm sorry," he said and kissed the top of her head. "Well...I suppose we could say you've passed that test very well, then, though really you haven't since you went too far."

Ilena pinched him. "Then next time don't come with mikans in your pocket, too."

The Twins couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. "No way, Master Obi!" Marcus said. "You brought the mikans with you?"

"Well, of course," he said archly. "They'll go bad before we get back, so we've got to eat them on the trip."

"Well, it's no wonder she held herself back so tightly," scolded Henry. "Not only did she have to wait to have you, she knew she wouldn't get any mikan if she moved before you let her. If she's rebounded it really is your fault, you know." Henry sighed and Ilena could see the scowl on his face in her mind. "She's been good up until now, really. If you've made it more difficult for us from now on, I'm laying the blame on you."

"I'm sorry," Obi said again, contritely.

"You could offer him some mikan, too," Ilena said helpfully.

"Ah...I don't think that's going to work for Henry, Ilena," he answered.

Ilena sighed and relaxed, then pilfered the mikan from Obi's pocket.

"Hey!" he complained.

Ilena looked up at him, through her eyelashes, a look of teasing pleasure on her face.

Obi released one of his arms to brush a hand down her face, ear and hair. She closed her eyes and leaned into it. "Yeah. I miss you too." Immediately four hands were pulling them apart, but Obi's eyes were as sparkling as hers were, with a teasing look. Ilena pouted at him. He gave her a jaunty grin and held out his hand. "You can't eat the mikan unless I peel it, and I can't peel it with my hands full of you." Petroi and Thayne released Obi, though they stayed close by and glared at Ilena.

Ilena looked haughtily away from him for a moment, but the mikan pulled at her. She looked at it, then rubbed it with her thumb, then relaxed. "Okay. ...Marcus you can let go." She held out the mikan to Obi.

Zen raised an eyebrow. "It still isn't enough?"

Marcus looked at Zen with a smile. "That means she isn't going to run, or fight. Most likely...," he looked at Ilena closely, judging, "it means she still wants to do more than kiss him."

Ilena rolled wild eyes at Marcus. "Hold your tongue or I'll put you on the ground," she growled at him.

Marcus drew himself up and held up a hand. "Sorry, Mistress Ilena."

Zen smiled a slight, smug smile. "I'll expect that restraint, Ilena."

Obi had paused in his peeling, and now he cleared his throat. Ilena's eyes went to him, and he held her firmly. She was grateful. For that smug look she was going to put Zen on the ground, too. When she was stable again, Obi went back to his peeling. Without looking at Zen, Obi said, "Master, you can go back to Mistress. Once Ilena's settled, we'll just walk around the grounds a bit, if that's alright."

"Fine. Just don't leave the grounds," Zen said amiably. He turned away, walking back to the garden.

The whole group of six relaxed slightly. When Ilena was Obi's Woman, the Queen was rather strong. Of all of Ilena's aspects, the Queen had the least respect for the authority of Zen. "Marcus. Hold her braid," Obi said calmly. He held up the first section of mikan, then handed it over his shoulder to Thayne. "You feed it to her," he said.

Thayne blinked a little in surprise, then took the section and stepped up to Ilena. Ilena's first reaction was to look at Obi sorrowfully, hurt that he wouldn't feed it to her, when he had been the cause of all of this in the first place. Her second reaction was to be angry, but she blinked that back. It wasn't necessary. It was obvious that he was training Obi's Woman. She felt the two Sons with her and re-calibrated. She looked at Thayne soberly. Obi wanted the Queen to back down and Mother to come out more. Thayne held up the mikan and Ilena obediently, and calmly, took the section from his hand with her mouth. Thayne tensed up slightly, but released it for her.

She hadn't quite been able to get to Mother, but she had made it to obedient falcon willing to accept other handlers. Ilena wanted very badly to look at Obi right away, but she needed to trust him. Instead, she looked back into Thayne's eyes. She'd been expecting surprise and a little fear, considering his tension just a moment before. Instead she was surprised to see both firm strength and a small smile of reward in his eyes. She blinked twice. Thayne had learned a thing she hadn't realized. She sat quietly for a moment, her head tipped to the side of its own accord. She wanted to reward him, but didn't know how. "...You've grown stronger, Thayne," she finally said. "Is it the partnership?"

He did seem pleased with her words, though he held his look. "Some," he answered, then deliberately looked towards Obi. Ilena's eyes, trained to it now, also looked to Obi.

Obi had been worthy of her trust and had held the look of the reaction he'd had to her accepting the mikan from Thayne. She instinctively relaxed to see his expression, finding her own strength in it as well, and she stood up straighter, though more calm. She did wonder what he was going to do next. She knew that he prefered to reserve the feeding to himself because of his own jealousy, but she suspected he was also trying to get her desire for him to back down enough they could actually walk together calmly. Though, now she was curious what the others had learned. She knew how they acted when they were scolding, but this was different. She had a good guess what Henry's reaction would be. He'd been her handler for a long time, as far as she'd had one other than Leah. It made her nervous to think about Petroi, though. She still didn't know very much about him other than he was stern with her...and that Obi was the most jealous of him.

Obi had been taking a while and she looked at him closely. When she recognized in him the same curiosity, she nodded at him once. He raised an eyebrow slightly, then peeled off another section while looking at the mikan instead of her. "Marcus. Keep hold of the braid, but feed this to her." He handed it over.

Marcus held still, then took a breath to settle, still looking at Obi, who was looking back at him calmly. When Marcus was ready, he looked at Ilena and turned so he could feed her. Ilena didn't look away from Obi. She already had learned this part, and it was essential for making sure Obi's jealousy wouldn't surface. He met her gaze and she held to her sober calm look, though occasional flashes of the falcon still peeked through. She couldn't hold them back yet. She took one more breath to calm the falcon that wanted to flare, and she instinctively shook, as if settling her non-existent feathers, though she didn't stop looking at Obi's eyes. Another breath and Obi nodded.

Ilena turned her head to look at Marcus. Even though he was holding her braid, as if holding her jesses, he let her turn enough to look him in the eye. Like Thayne, his initial look was one of strength, but slight hesitation and a little bit of worry. Ilena waited until he had offered her the mikan section, then she also ate it in the same way she had for Thayne. She chose to enjoy it a little first, then looked back up into Marcus' eyes. Surprisingly, he'd held his first reaction. Again it was of calm strength, but his eyes held more pride for her. She settled and let her own emotions leak through just a little, since they were complex, but similar to his own. He flushed slightly, as he always did when she directly praised him, but he held firm otherwise. Before he lost it, he transferred her back to Obi.

"Not bad, Marcus," Obi said calmly peeling another section, and Marcus did finally blush. Obi handed the third section back over his right shoulder to Petroi and Ilena tensed. She'd expected Obi to have him go last. Obi didn't look at her right away either. That didn't help. She didn't know if he wanted her to follow the mikan section or not. Her fear went to frustration and was headed quickly to anger when he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She froze in the state she was in and let him see it. "Hmm…," he lifted his head and looked at her finally. She backed down, but only to slight challenge and stern rebuke. Then she realized Petroi had not yet taken the mikan section from Obi. She blinked, caught in between warring concepts and emotions again. She turned her head away and closed her eyes. It was a rejection, but it was also an attempt to sort things out. When she had an inkling of what might be going on, she chose what she wanted to show and looked back at Obi. He was standing with the hand holding the mikan back in front of him, his arms mostly crossed, the partial mikan in the hand tucked under the elbow of the other arm, the hand holding the mikan section in front of the arm under it.

Her biggest emotion to get through had been impatience - impatience at the game. The problem was, she'd allowed it to begin with. If Obi had selected Petroi next, there was either something he wanted her to learn, or that he wanted to know, and she had worked her way to guessing what it was. Her look was still slightly challenging, but was also strong with surety, a look of the Princess, though she didn't pull the Princess up, per se.

Obi looked at her for a while until she relaxed just a little, then he handed the mikan section back over his shoulder again. Ilena waited, holding his eyes with hers so he couldn't look away this time. She held him through his own mild surprise, then chagrin, then acceptance. When he went to pride, she knew she had guessed right. "Petroi," Obi said quietly and calmly. Ilena held to Obi's eyes, even still, waiting again, though she also quieted just a little. Even when Petroi offered her the mikan, she didn't accept it or look away from Obi until Obi blinked, breathed through a breath, then turned her over to Petroi. She continued to look at Obi until she saw Petroi nod from the corner of her eye and Obi nodded back. Then she finally turned to look into Petroi's eyes, the expression in her own not changing.

Petroi looked at her calmly and with as little emotion as he usually held, but there was something there and she took the time to figure it out. When she was sure she knew it, she bent and took the section from his fingers also, finding his scent, like the other two, different and strong from being that close to their hands. Each scent mingled with the scent of the mikan differently also. Thayne had smelled like the horses, Marcus like the forest and grasses. Petroi was spicy, and it suited the sweet mikan. Ilena wanted to shake off Henry's hand from her arm and it tensed, but she calmly looked back into Petroi's face instead.

Petroi had a bit of a sad look in his eyes and her eyes flashed in rebuke. He bowed to her slightly and returned to calm strength. It wasn't enough for her, though it might be sufficient in most cases. She tested him by flaring up slightly and pulling away as if to break contact. His eyes instantly became hard and his look stern. She held still, her expression going neutral, though her eyes were still strong, her will holding his, his rebuke holding her. When he held it long enough, she settled again for him and waited patiently, her face calm. Obi silently handed Petroi another mikan slice and when Petroi was ready, he fed it to her. She obediently took it from him, and continued to wait patiently as she chewed and swallowed it, never taking her eyes off his, except the brief time she had to to get to the mikan. Slowly his expression also mellowed to pride. She held him just a little longer, then dipped her head very slightly as his reward. He returned her to Obi and as she left his eyes, she caught his eyes going just a little misty. He stepped back behind Obi again and she pretended she had only seen a faint reflection of his movement.

She looked at Obi calmly and could see he was itching to feed her himself. She opened her mouth, demanding that he meet that need, and reward her as well, but she carefully kept her eyes strongly neutral and her face calm. Obi carefully peeled off another section of mikan, moving now into the second half of it. He just as carefully handed it to Henry. Ilena closed her mouth and continued to look at him calmly. He was restraining himself and training himself. She rewarded it by not commenting on it in her posture or expression. Henry waited as well. When Obi had calmed enough, looking into Henry's eyes, he finally said, "Henry." Henry took the mikan section, then waited until Obi had returned to Ilena.

When Henry was facing Ilena and Obi was ready, Obi looked back at Henry, and Ilena went to him as well. Henry was waiting for her and held her calmly. Ilena had always been obedient to Henry, once she had trained him before, but things were different today. She wanted to know if he had learned anything new in the time since then. The first thing she did was shake off his hand. She was already done with it from before. He looked at her carefully, then slowly removed his hand from her arm. When he was committed to the action and at rest, she took a breath through her nose, then slowly flared, watching what level he reacted to. It felt a lot like she was slowly lifting her non-existent wings, to stretch them out to either side, though she stayed balanced on her perch on his wrist.

Henry watched her closely, keeping a calm face. She reached full wing-span, then opened her mouth. Henry withheld the mikan and his eyes said 'no' firmly. Ilena closed her mouth. She stayed calm, then suddenly her eyes snapped to full falcon ferocity. Henry pursed his lips and drew a quick breath, then fiercely stared her down, his face closing to her. When she was satisfied there was no anger - or fear - in the look, she furled her wings back in slowly, though more quickly than she had let them out. When she had fluffed them into position she pulled her head back and looked at him sharply, but calmly, waiting.

After a moment, Henry raised an eyebrow. Ilena raised one back. "Is that all?" he asked her calmly.

"I saw what I needed to see," she responded just as calmly.

Henry held up the mikan for her and she ate it, smelling the scent of rain on the dry air, and looked at him again. When Henry was satisfied, he looked to Obi to return her. Ilena didn't look away from Henry, but waited. When Obi nodded he was ready, Henry nodded also and returned to Ilena. When he nodded to her, then Ilena looked to Obi.

She calmly let Obi hold her eyes. She was tired and wanted to rest with him. That had been rather a lot, but she didn't let it show, though perhaps it did a little in her shoulders. Obi reached out with his hand and put the back of it to her cheek. She half-lidded her eyes and rubbed her cheek on his hand a few times, then looked at him again. He put the rest of the mikan in his jacket pocket and reached out his hand for her. She gave it to him. Obi motioned to Marcus and Marcus let go of her braid and stepped back. Obi tucked Ilena's hand in his elbow and began their exploration of the remains of Farmor, the four new handlers following behind, though one had already been that before.

Obi walked with Ilena through the grounds, only occasionally quietly commenting on places they remembered. They walked through the remains of the house, which had already been searched for anything of value, then through several of the other buildings, some of which were fire damaged but not completely destroyed.

Zen looked over, as he had been keeping half an eye on them, to see them crouched down in one of the buildings. As he watched, they stood up and backed up just a bit. He saw a flicker or two, very small, then growing. He walked over.

"What are you two doing?" he asked.

"Burning the rest of the coffin room down," Ilena said to him calmly.

Zen looked around at the structure. There weren't any coffin shaped boxes there anymore. He supposed they had already burned or collapsed, but there was still a corner of the building left, where they had lit the flame. They walked out of the area as the flames licked up the side of the wall and they watched as it climbed up and spread out to consume the rest of the building that was left standing. They stayed until it had died down to calm coals and Shirayuki came to tell them she was ready.

"Master," Obi said quietly, "may Ilena and I stay a bit longer, while you're at the other manor house?" Zen looked at the both of them. He could see they weren't quite ready. He nodded. "Come as soon as you can," he told Ilena and she nodded. When he glanced back over his shoulder and Shirayuki, who was behind him, as his group trotted away from the building, Obi and Ilena, followed by their four, were also mounting their horses. As he watched, they firmly turned their backs to the place and headed into the woods. He wondered if there was a particular place they were going. Then he thought of all the people who had died in that place and wondered if there was a gravesite. It would certainly be like Obi and Ilena to go and pay their respects one last time in private.

"Why did Obi do that?" Shirayuki asked Zen a little bit later.

"Oh, did you see it?" Zen asked her. He'd been paying attention to it, so hadn't known she had as well.

"Mm," Shirayuki nodded her head.

Zen thought about his answer. "That was Obi's punishment for surprising Ilena."

"Hmm...is that what it was? ...Obi usual reserves feeding Ilena to himself, so it seemed odd."

"It became something else, though," Zen said quietly. "The four were being set to be handlers. It looked like Henry was already a handler, to some degree. She was testing him...and Petroi also, looking to see where the boundaries were and if they understood them." Zen was quiet for a while. "If she becomes difficult to handle, that is who you go to, to get her calm again. She'll be obedient for them, and restrain herself for them, because she will trust that they will help her to find that restraint, the same as Mitsuhide and Kiki do for Obi. Do you understand why they need it?"

Shirayuki thought about it, resting her forehead against his back, then said quietly, "Because they can kill."

Zen looked back at her in surprise and she looked up into his face, very serious. "Most people would have said because they are wild," he said to her, his eyebrow raised.

Shirayuki shook her head. "Then the whole Family would have handlers. Obi and Ilena are different. There is always inside them a spring wound tightly. If it's released, it's deadly."

Zen tipped his head at her. "You can see it in Ilena?" He knew she'd seen it in Obi before, when Obi had become very angry at himself for not protecting Shirayuki from the double kidnapping.

Shirayuki nodded soberly, her eyes just a little wide. "I've seen it before, when she looks at Obi sometimes, though it's not directed at him, more it's as if she would use him as her blade. I've also seen it," Shirayuki looked away from Zen and out into space, "...when she is quiet and she looks to the north." Shirayuki looked back at Zen soberly. "I think you should allow her to show you what she can do in Lyrias. I've been seeing it much more frequently lately, the same as before Obi and Petroi made peace and they would flare just at each other's presence, even though they didn't seem to notice it, until Ilena figured out how to settle them." She pursed her lips and looked at Zen with some concern. "She was good today, but I could tell it was very difficult for her. I would have had Marcus hold her, too."

Zen put his hand on Shirayuki's, where she was holding on to him. "I'll need to see what she means when we arrive in Lyrias, but I agree. She needs to get it out of her system and know that we understand what she can do." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, then returned it to his leg, continuing to hold on to it. "Actually, I would like to see it, even if it isn't fair to just yet."

"Not fair?" Shirayuki asked.

"She isn't healed enough to really show us what she can do. It will only be a partial test." Zen glanced back at her again. "It might not be something you want to see, though. I doubt there would be any killing involved, but they are also not likely to hold back. Fighting on their scale is pretty brutal."

"Well...I have already seen the testing in the list."

"Princess Shirayuki," Sam interrupted respectfully.

"Yes, Sam?" she turned to him.

"I suspect it won't be like the list testing, but like the final fight between Obi and Petroi.

Shirayuki blanched. "Ilena...would do...that?"

"...I'm not sure what you saw then, Shirayuki," Zen said, "but I've read the stories of her Children, and I know she saved Obi when he got that scar on his chest. ...If she was present at those times, then she fought, and fought hard."

Shirayuki turned her head and rested on Zen's back again, thinking about Ilena and what she knew. She was still afraid for Obi and Petroi and had been very glad Ilena had interrupted the fight to scold them. She had wanted to scold them as well as cry. She closed her eyes. "I don't want to see it," she said finally. "I only want to see their smiles, and trust in their swords."

Zen nodded and squeezed her hand. "I'll let you know when we decide to go and see it, then."

"Okay," Shirayuki said. "I'll go and visit my friends then."

Zen lifted her hand to his lips again. "For you to be willing to let them do it anyway, ...you're a good mistress for them."

Shirayuki shuddered. "I'm not happy about it Zen...but I know she'll only become more dangerous if she doesn't. I wouldn't want to be the cause of her not being able to control herself when it's important. I won't see it, but I can't refuse it."

Zen held her hand to his chest in the closest he could get to a hug. "I know," he said softly. "Thank you."

* * *

 _Needless to say, I had to modify it so that Obi obediently let them know ahead of time he wanted to visit. This original version diluted his ability to stand in front of Ilena too much. I was actually surprised to get such horrible writer's-block at this point over such a seemingly minor decision on his part, but it completely threw off Ilena so much that none of them could move forward. To her, it was like Obi had failed and no longer could stand in front of her to strengthen her properly. Shirayuki was also quite done in, too affected by their (only mild) darkness that she had to recover...and couldn't until I made the changes. Have you seen that yet? That they protect Shirayuki even still from the darkness that's in them? She has a long way to go still to have the strength to deal with the dark side of their moons, though she's slowly progressing. I was sad to take out the only time I ever show Ilena's point of view on the feeding and handling of the falcon, though._


	14. Off the Cutting Floor: Julie and Ilena

[T]

 **Off the Cutting Floor: Forcing Julie on Ilena**

(Edited from The Missing Princess Book 3)

 _From Book 3, Chapter 20 through 22. Originally I liked the concept that Julie could be used to help them take care of Ilena while Obi was in Tarc. (I still do - it's not completely out of the picture yet.) I thought at this point that Shirayuki could spearhead that effort. However...it went bad to worse until Ilena could finally explain the piece of her that made it not work. I put in 'notes to self' at alternate endings to the family time together, but because I still couldn't resolve that one issue, it had to be scrapped. Later on, as I continued writing, Ilena herself presented the solution to me (of who would help her when Obi wasn't there), to my great surprise._

* * *

Julie nodded slowly. "Then, you like their true selves...except Lady Ilena?" She raised an eyebrow in question.

Kirk sighed. "Well, I can't say I dislike her. I am still trying to get used to her. As you say, she has a very forceful personality. In the office, she and Obi are called 'wild' and it fits well. But when they are being royal, they are most definitely noble, with little to fault. ...They know it also, and do try to restrain themselves as much as possible, but because we are all the 'royal family' they do it less with us."

Julie was thoughtful. "So...this 'family' Lady Shirayuki spoke of...because it is the royal family, and you are part of the servants within it, ...you have a responsibility that is great enough that you really do have to be family."

Kirk nodded soberly. "Yes. Even to the extent we share the same quarters." He shivered. "At the moment that is almost as bad as it sounds. They are building a more appropriate building that should be ready by the spring, or sooner, where we will actually have separate rooms, like we should."

"You sleep in the same room as the Regent and his wife?!" Julie was aghast.

"Not quite," he said with an internal groan, "but almost. It is an old facility and they are renovating it even now in the hopes we can all survive until the new building is done."

Julie squeezed his hand. "Well, I hope for your sake that part gets better."

"Thanks," he said. "All of us, too." He looked away again, wondering where to go next in his ramblings. He took a breath, then looked down at their joined hands. "You asked me why Princess Shirayuki asked to talk to you." He looked up at her. "I can't say for sure, but I have a guess." Julie nodded she understood. "I think she wants to call you up."

Julie's mouth gaped and Kirk wanted to smile, but he couldn't. This was going to be difficult. "Wh-what for? Does she have a pet fetish?"

Now Kirk did smile. "You could put it that way." He paused, not sure how much to tell her, since it really wasn't his to say. "She has an entire small wing of them. But the most important one is the falcon. They are looking for an assistant handler."

"Kirk, I'm sure there are more experienced falconers that could be called on to aid the royal mews." She was lightly impatient.

"You are also a researcher, and female. I think those two things in addition are what has made her decide it."

Julie bowed her head. "Even though I dealt with them for the research, I'm not sure I understand how to handle them well enough to be an assistant. It was a painful learning process." She lifted her head and looked at him. "Why would they want someone they don't even know? How would I be of any use?"

"Because you've already had that painful learning process ...and that is more than anyone else they've seen so far. They will see you are properly trained."

Julie looked away, her expression pensive. "What about you?" she finally asked turning to him again. He raised an eyebrow, needing clarification. "Do you think I would be of use?"

Carefully, he said, "If you wanted to be."

She looked at him impatiently, like he had expected her to. She was patient when he rambled. When he spoke carefully, she wanted the information quickly. "What does that mean?"

"You are intelligent, Julie, and well used to researching now. If you wanted to be of help, you would learn how to do what was required to the best of your ability, until you were satisfied." He had already seen it in action - with her and with Shirayuki. Shirayuki had his admiration. She had worked so hard to get where she wanted to be. And...even he knew Ilena had been the force behind her, gently pushing her forward. Ilena had done it for Obi, too, and still was doing it, it looked like. Ilena would do the same for Julie, if Julie wanted it. Kirk had no troubles believing it would happen if Julie chose it.

Julie looked at him with an expression he hadn't seen before and she turned away suddenly, her cheeks red. He tipped his head to see if he could see more of it. She held still, as if poised for flight. He waited patiently, but his heart squeezed just a little. He didn't want her to take flight. He looked down at their hands again. He wasn't going to let go. He couldn't - not yet.

"Would it mean I have to live in their laps also, with the rest of the family?" She hadn't turned back.

"Not until the new building is finished. You would be in the other wing until then." He ran a thumb over the back of her hand gently. "It is spacious and has access to the hills outside the castle." He was relieved when Julie relaxed a little.

She turned back to him slightly, another question on her face. "What other animals would I take care of?"

Kirk looked up at the tree again. She was going to be angry, most likely, when she learned the truth he was hiding. "Wild stallion, large cats, foxes, dogs, and rabbits."

"Well, I can't do horses, but I can do cats and the rest." Kirk smiled a small smile, keeping it from her. She was thinking about it seriously and just that much made him happy.

Julie nodded again, thinking further. "You say you like following Lady Shirayuki, but you wouldn't follow Lady Ilena…," she frowned and he held his breath just a little. "How would that be any different for me? I don't want to work for a house I'm wishing to be free of all the time."

"...You wouldn't have to stay...if you hated it. They won't force it," he said quietly, and he didn't look at her. Even he could hear the weakness of his own heart in the sound of his words and he ground his teeth at it.

Julie looked at him in the face now. "What is it, Kirk?"

"I've done them a disservice in complaining to you. You haven't had the opportunity yet to see it for yourself. Only you can say what you'll be willing to stay for."

"Well, that's true, but...I don't think that's what is troubling you."

He paused, then decided that there really wasn't any 'good' time to say it. "Julie, I have a selfish reason for deciding to go with you to hear the story, and it's the same selfish reason that makes me want to ask you to please accept at least a trial time to see if working for Princess Shirayuki is something you will choose to do." He stood, still holding her hand, but made her keep sitting. He looked down at her, his feelings deep but his heart pounding. "I, too, expected to hear the story as we heard it, or at least I hoped to." He went down on one knee in front of her. "Julie, will you please consider my request? If you are willing, please come with us, and think on me kindly. If you will stay, please stay with me by my side. Even if we are not brother and sister, I would be even happier if you were wife to me and I your husband. ...But if you cannot abide it, then I won't make you stay."

Julie stared at him, her face showing her shock. She finally turned away, her face going red. "Kirk...you have been my brother...it's rather difficult to suddenly find such a proposal not ridiculous." He waited, still holding his heart in his mouth. He knew that this day was full of complex things for her. He hadn't asked her to say 'yes' to him after all - not yet. But he had needed to say it now, before anyone else could confuse things, or steal his words from him.

Julie sighed and dropped her head. "All of a sudden, this has become a strange day and I almost don't know myself. I have a parent I never knew I had, have lost a brother, and been told he has been picked up by the highest royalty of the region to leave me to my sorry state. Then been told that rather than that, those same royals want to pick me up and take me with them all because of my personal research, and an unplanned side note within it, and now to be told by that same man he'd rather be my husband than my brother...who is it that sits here?" She lifted her eyes to look into his and they were rather glazed and looking far away, he had to admit.

"Julie Ulmer Inule, researcher, and my friend who has held me from drowning over and over again in the depths of my own sorrows." Kirk answered solemnly.

"You, Kirk? I've kept you from your sorrows? Isn't it the other way round?"

Kirk shook his head, "Perhaps I've been able to help you also. That's good if so. But always you were able to cheer me when I came to you from the depressing presence of my family. ...I've missed you, and until I was tapped by Lady Shirayuki, I was drowning without you. I still miss you."

Julie sighed. "I miss you, too, Kirk. I'm always looking for you when I'm walking the streets. It was so surprising to be rewarded today."

Kirk looked down in embarrassment. He knew Ilena hadn't been walking them in her area without purpose. He wouldn't tell that to Julie just yet, though. Not until she understood Ilena for herself. "I'm glad you saw me," he finally answered. "I did want to see you today."

"How long do I have?" she asked a little wearily.

"I think Lady Shirayuki will ask you at dinner. We are here for another three days before moving on. ...We'll go to father's barony from here for lunch on the fourth day, so you could still return home to see your foster parents and let her know by then, perhaps. As for me," he shrugged, "as long as you need to decide. I can wait." He wanted to warn her about Ilena, but maybe he would let someone else do it. To jade her any more himself wouldn't be wise.

She tugged on his hand and he rose and sat next to her again. Finally she sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'll think on it, and perhaps ask my parents for their advice, as you suggested earlier. They won't be offended if I ask for a postponement?"

"No," he answered gently. "They are very kind people, really."

"...Well, that is true. I did notice that."

It occurred to Kirk that Ilena's requirement that he let Julie get to know them as just people first had been, indeed, wise. He sighed. She was wild and difficult, so how could she be right all the time? It was perhaps the thing that got under his skin the most. He closed his eyes, enjoying having the first love of his life, after his mother, resting closely by his side.

-o-o-o-

Shirayuki watched Kirk and Julie walk off into the crowded market street, then turned and faced the others. "Obi," she called, her serious tone ringing with nobility.

"Yes, Mistress?" Obi stepped forward and bowed formally to her, his hand to his chest.

"Zen has told me that Ilena is to be looking for someone to act as your assistant to watch over her." Ilena went very still, but Shirayuki didn't look at her.

Obi paused slightly, then nodded briefly, still holding to the formal. "Yes, Mistress. Miss Leah is a tamer and so are Henry and Petroi. They are too strict when she becomes difficult. Miss Rio and Marcus are not strict enough when it's needed, the same with Thayne, though he can sit as a handler when necessary. Grandfather is acceptable, but we are trying to let him retire."

"I see," Shirayuki nodded at him, dismissing him. She looked over to her husband. "Zen, I need to speak with you. Let's all return to the inn for now."

"Very well," he agreed mildly. He walked to her and took her hand, tucking it in his elbow. She walked beside him, unable to relax out of her learned nobility. She could feel Ilena and Obi falling in behind them and the rest of the guards took up positions around them, helping to part the flow of bodies in the market. She was glad that they knew her well enough to do it politely. Rough and rude behavior from her guards would have made her angry today. She took the time of their walk to the inn to try and figure out why.

When they arrived at the inn, Shirayuki set Leon, Sam, and Brian on the door to her and Zen's room and ordered Ilena and Obi to stay nearby and call all their household to them, if any were out of the inn.

Zen sat at the foot of the bed, one leg under the other, his hands in his lap, and looked at her. "What is it, Shirayuki?" he asked her, his eyes watching her calmly.

Shirayuki paced to the chair that faced the foot of the bed and sat down, sitting up straight. She folded her hands together in her lap and looked him in the eye. "Even though Obi and Ilena are yours, you've given them to me, isn't that right?"

"Yes," Zen said calmly.

"In bringing them into the household, that is a thing I desire. You've not yet said one way or the other."

"I don't have an opinion on the matter, though I do like having them around." He said it in such a way she could tell it was a considered answer.

Shirayuki hesitated, trying to put her feelings into organized thoughts. "How do you use Obi in the position as handler?"

Zen raised an eyebrow slightly and took the time to consider his answer. It was rather complex, actually, once he finished explaining it to her, though it had seemed simple from the outside. Shirayuki carefully thought about his answer and her desires. "Until this time, Ilena has been a guard and a guide to me, but I think if they are to come into the household at my request, that can no longer be sufficient. She also needs to be able to properly answer to me." Shirayuki was firm on this point. She could feel it was so as deeply as she had felt her choices of nurses would be critical to the future of her children. "Who is chosen as her assistant handler needs to be able to ensure that she will." She took a breath and looked at Zen firmly. "...I will choose that person, and that person will answer to me the same as Obi answers to you."

"Are you thinking of asking Julie?" Zen asked.

"Yes. As a female researcher, she has the capacity to learn whatever is needful, and to experiment until she understands what works best, not to mention it's a point of commonality for all three of us. She'll also be able to give proper concise reports to me. Her having a familial relationship with Kirk helps as well. She will not feel so much a stranger and Ilena will have something to hold her interest until the patterns are established. It will also be a good test to see if Julie has the strength to withstand Ilena's matchmaking, one of her strongest and hardest to restrain tendencies." Zen had his eyebrow raised. Shirayuki explained, "I believe that though Kirk said they are half-siblings, it's something more than that. At the castle, his eyes said it was so. He'll tell me tonight and then we'll know." Zen nodded, his question being sufficiently answered.

"The other things that have made me decide it include that she already has experience with real raptors, she is as of yet still unattached to a house, and she has the patience to deal with Ilena."

"You could see that in the short time we were with her?" Zen asked, surprised.

"It's not just in the time she was with us. For someone to be able to deal with an injured animal and nurse them back to health, particularly when they can't complain and tell you what is wrong with them, and they bite unexpectedly because of it - one must have great patience. I think if she only sees Ilena as a woman she won't have so much patience, but if Obi can train her to see Ilena for who she is, then I think she will."

Zen sat quietly, then asked, "How will you test her?"

Shirayuki considered it. Slowly she answered, "I think...it's in what Obi said. If Leah and Rio together find her acceptable then she will have sufficient qualities of both. ...Henry already approves the idea. I could tell from the way he read the passages. If he and Marcus together listen to the testing and are also in agreement then Julie should have the proper necessary balance to be Obi's assistant."

Shirayuki sighed and relaxed slightly. "Zen, I have thought this far, but there is one other thing that is needful. Please help me."

Zen nodded and listened to his wife's request. With great relief to Shirayuki, together they were able to come up with a solution to put her plan into place. She would have thought it extreme, but she knew they were working with an extreme personality and needed to make a lasting impression that left no doubt behind it.

Shirayuki opened the door to their room. "Leon, fetch Ilena, and then Leah, Rio, Marcus and Henry. I'll see Ilena separately first. Sam please come in." Leon trotted off and Sam stepped into the room, Brian taking the guard position. When she was done with Sam, and had released him, Ilena was let into the room.

Shirayuki was still in the chair, Zen sitting behind her in another chair, one leg resting on the opposing knee, his chin in his fingers, watching. "Ilena, does this inn have a conference room or secondary banquet hall?"

"Yes, Mistress Shirayuki, it does. It's above the main dining room. There is a main entrance for the guests and a secondary entrance for the servers to bring food to the room, if desired." Ilena had bowed formally upon arriving in place in front of Shirayuki and now stood at rest attention.

"I require it for our dinner tonight, and that it be arranged specifically to my requirements." She picked up a piece of paper that was in her lap and handed it over. "See that this is how it's done." Ilena took the paper and bowed slightly. "Because I will need all of my guards tonight, see that the proper number of castle guards are sent for to guard the doors and to stand watch over Zen."

Ilena glanced over the diagram, which doubled as the invitation list. "Is it a Court of the First Princess, Mistress Shirayuki?"

"Yes," Shirayuki kept herself calm. Ilena had been sharp enough to see it immediately, of course.

"Do you wish for enough castle guards to stand the wall as well, then?" Ilena didn't waver from her formal servant's attitude and Shirayuki was glad for it.

"They are all of those who have sworn loyalty to Zen, and are loyal to me in their hearts?" Shirayuki asked. She really couldn't make herself call them the 'Shirayuki Fan Club'.

"Yes, Mistress Shirayuki," Ilena answered.

"The minimum necessary then, please." She didn't want too many extra ears around, but it was likely necessary anyway, and that set would be discrete.

"Who will be your voice?"

"Sam."

"Who are to be your guards?"

"Leon and Brian."

"Dinner before or after?"

"Before."

"Do you have a menu request?"

"No."

"Is there anything else?"

Shirayuki looked at Ilena closely. Ilena was still calm and her face impassive. She really was very good at fitting to whatever role she was called to stand in, and this role was her Steward's face. Shirayuki wanted to relax just briefly to make the inner Ilena show, but this would be a really bad time to do so, it seemed to Shirayuki. "No. That will be all," she said instead.

"Very well." Ilena bowed formally again and left the room.

Shirayuki took a breath and relaxed for a moment. That had been the hardest part of what she needed to do for the preparation. Brian knocked on the door one more time and it opened to let in the four of Ilena's she had requested. This would be an easier interview. In this one, she was looking for co-conspirators, though she still had to stay formal for it and give out orders.

-o-o-o-

"Obi." He turned towards his wife-now-Steward and listened politely. "Go to the barracks and retrieve all of the castle guards. We will need two on the exterior of each of the upper banquet room doors, one on each of the interior of the same doors. One more on the wall of the door walls, two on each free wall, and two behind Master Zen. They will either need to eat early or eat late. It will be dinner followed by a Court of the First Princess. Please be sure they understand and arrive at the proper time and perform a thorough security check of the room. You should be gone only long enough to pass on the orders. Thayne, stay with me."

"Yes, Ilena," Obi bowed and left immediately, Petroi following him.

Ilena began walking again, her new shadow with her, since Shirayuki had her usual two with her. She arrived at the concierge' desk. "The First Princess requires the upper room tonight for the dinner meal and for the rest of the evening after it. Please send the staff who will be setting it up to me immediately. I'll be in the kitchen." She left as soon as she got a nod, uncaring if they were going to have to oust anyone else or not.

Arriving at the kitchen, she commandeered the head chef and ordered a specific formal meal, then gave orders to the butler for specific wines to be served. He would have to send a runner for them, most surely, but there was time. If she was going to be tethered one notch tighter tonight, and Shirayuki didn't care what was served, she was going to see it was what she wanted. The staff had been sent by then, so she went up the back stairs from the kitchen with him to explain the arrangement the room needed to be in at least one hour before the time the royals and their guests arrived for dinner. She informed him someone from her staff would be arriving at that one hour mark to confirm it was done correctly and afterwards no one was to go in or out of the room until they were ready for the meal to be served.

Ilena's next stop was at Delia and Maria's room. "Mistress Shirayuki is holding a Court of the First Princess tonight, directly following dinner. See that she is dressed appropriately to receive the Second Princess. You are also required to attend both functions. It will be in the upper room of this inn, with assigned seating. Here are your positions." She pointed to their seats on the chart Shirayuki had given her. They looked at her with eyes just a little wide but curtseyed appropriately. She turned and left their room to cross the hall.

"Rutherford, Justinian, Mistress Shirayuki is holding a Court of the First Princess tonight, directly following dinner. See that Regent Zen and Lord Obi are dressed appropriately for her to receive the Second Princess. It will be held directly following dinner in the upper room of this inn. Both of you are required to attend both functions. Here are your seats." She pointed to their locations on the page. When they nodded, she turned and left.

Ilena paused briefly. She had further similar orders to give, but her two, who were next, had been with Shirayuki herself, last she'd known. There was one other to prepare as well. She closed her eyes and sent out a query by Family whisper and waited. When Leah answered her, she went to their room - Leah and Rio's. "You already know, it, but hear it again anyway," she started. She gave them the same orders she had given the others. Then she paused. "Miss Julie will also need to be prepared. Does Mistress Shirayuki want part of the test to be before the dinner, or will she be left untested until the dinner?"

Leah and Rio didn't quite look at each other before bowing. "Will you let her be tested before?" Leah asked.

"No. I will eat her. She has no practice being a maid and today I have no patience for it. If you still want her on the wall, I may be willing to ignore her, but she must be readied first."

"That would be acceptable," Leah said, though Ilena caught just a hint of disappointment. Ilena knew she wasn't wrong. To have one of Julie's tests be if she could actually perform as a maid now would be a frightful fail, even if Ilena wasn't feeling petulant.

When she walked out of the room, Marcus and Henry were back again, though Thayne still stood waiting as well. She showed the three of them where they were to sit, and also ordered them to be dressed appropriately. She had told the three of Shirayuki's on the door their orders when she had walked out of the room to begin with. She calculated, then nodded. "Come with me," she said to the three and led them out of the inn. She sent non-stop messages through the town in the local Family code, receiving reports as they went as well. Some of them led her to the residential district.

The couple resting on the bench under an old tree with wide branches that shaded the bench and much of the street in front of it, stood when they were close enough to recognize who was coming towards them. Ilena noted that Kirk didn't release Julie's hand, and Julie appeared nervous but was doing her best to stand firm. Her look was still one of slightly guarded friendliness, and when Ilena stopped in front of them, she looked piercingly into Julie's eyes. Julie continued to look back as she had before, then she curtseyed slightly. "Princess Ilena."

"Julie." Ilena looked away and into Kirk's eyes. He was more nervous that Julie was. "You've not told her the full truth, have you Kirk?" His eyes dropped. "Very well. We'll let Princess Shirayuki surprise her." She looked back at Julie who was looking concerned now. "If you don't like your surprise, see that Kirk is punished for it." Julie blinked and looked like she wanted to scold her, but didn't have the words. Ilena let a small smirk come on her face. Henry made a disapproving noise and she calmed down.

"Kirk, Princess Shirayuki is holding a Court of the First Princess tonight directly following dinner. Brian has your seating arrangements and orders. Please return to the inn with Thayne and prepare yourself properly. Julie, you will come with me. She has required that you also be present; therefore, you must be made properly presentable, and we have little time to do it in." Julie paled slightly. Ilena could see Kirk squeeze her hand, then finally release it. He bowed to Ilena and began to walk away, Thayne following with him. Julie looked after him, but Ilena was positive Kirk did not turn back for her. "Come," she said shortly and turned on her heel.

Julie trotted at her side, Ilena's angry strides being slightly longer than the shorter girl's. "Ah, um, Princess Ilena…," Julie finally had the courage to speak up, "..thank you for earlier today." Ilena looked at her sideways, raising her eyebrow. "I'm glad you were all willing to let me spend time with you without titles, and thank you for your kindness to Kirk." That last surprised Ilena and she looked directly at Julie.

"Is that how you saw it?" she asked, but not with Izana's bite of testing, rather with Obi's just wanting to know.

"Well...he said that you were holding yourself back for his sake then. I do see that as kindness." Her look was clear.

Ilena allowed herself a small smile. Julie had just scored a point, all unknowing. She looked away and slowed down just slightly. "I was." She looked back at Julie from the corner of her eye. "Does it bother you that I'm not anymore?"

Julie hesitated. "Well...since I don't know you, I can't say that you are or are not. Surely royalty is often more standoffish due to their positions and the prior was more unusual behavior...though," she looked away slightly embarrassed, "Kirk says that it isn't the case."

"Surely it depends on the situation, Miss Julie," Ilena said calmly.

"Ah, surely!" Julie quickly agreed, then subsided. "Um…," she tried again and Ilena looked at her sharply from the corner of her eye.

"You are talkative normally? Or just question everything because you are a researcher?" Ilena asked.

Julie paused and actually considered the questions seriously. Ilena found that hilarious, but she didn't let it show. This was becoming as much fun as if she were really Izana. Surely being recognized had given her one unanticipated benefit. She relaxed her shoulders and allowed Julie's slower pace, because she was thinking hard, to slow her down just a little more, though she kept going at a fast enough pace to keep Julie moving. They really didn't have much time.

"I think it's the latter," Julie finally answered. "I've alway been inquisitive, though. The two go hand in hand, I think."

"It is natural, I suppose," Ilena agreed coolly. She picked the pace back up now that the thinking was done. She wanted to know how long Julie could go, so she let the silence go on and counted. Since it had been pointed out, it was a while, but before they reached the market district again Julie was ready to ask her question again. Ilena wondered if it was the same question or if she'd forgotten it in the interruption.

"Princess Ilena, will you tell me what Princess Shirayuki wants to call me up for?"

"He told you at least that much, did he?" Ilena said dryly.

"Well, he said he could only guess it. He also said that it was to be the assistant to take care of her many pets."

Ilena's eyes went dangerous and Julie stepped back her words and searched her mind. "Well, er...I guess I asked jokingly if I was wanted to take care of pets. Kirk didn't actually use that word. He did say it would be to watch over a falcon, who was most prized, a wild stallion, large cats, foxes, dogs, and rabbits. I told him I wasn't qualified to do anything with horses. …." She cut herself off. It seemed she was also talkative, but had some sense of reservation - or self preservation.

"Hmm...well, I see where he stopped telling truth and went for half-truths, at least." Ilena finally said, once she'd digested the strange words and decided to not be so angry about them. She thought about it some more. "I suppose he wants you to hear it from Princess Shirayuki herself." She looked at Julie hard. "And you will. No more questions of those sorts."

"Yes, Princess Ilena," Julie said humbly.

They had reached the market and Ilena led them directly to the highest class clothiers on the street. Julie almost couldn't enter it, having to take a deep breath to cross the threshold. "Allison, this is Julie. She is being presented before the First and Second Princesses today, in the presence of the Regent. She needs proper attire. Please fetch it at once. We are late already."

The lady Allison looked Julie up and down carefully, turned her around once, then bowed to Ilena and disappeared. Ilena looked at Julie carefully as well, then turned her around and finger combed her hair. Julie held still, surprised by the handling and sudden close contact. By the time Allison had arrived with a dress and it's parts, Ilena was just finishing with a complex series of braids. Ilena pulled the thong holding her braid out and wrapped it around the end of Julie's braid, then turned to look at the dress Allison was holding. It looked passable. She motioned to Allison and the lady held it up in front of Julie so Ilena could confirm the size and coloring.

"It will do. See that another just one step lower and three two steps lower are sent to the inn by tomorrow. She will also need travelling clothes, though I suspect her own will do most of the time for that. For tonight, at least, I will require proper accessories as well." Allison bowed and handed the dress and its parts to another clerk to wrap and headed to an enclosed counter. She brought back a necklace, bracelet, earrings, and hair comb. Ilena looked at them all, then nodded. "Thank you, Allison. Payment will be as normal."

"Yes, Mistress Ilena. Thank you for coming today." Allison said, curtseying.

Ilena motioned to Marcus, and he took up the packages and Ilena led them out of the building. Julie weaved slightly and her eyes were blinking, like she was having trouble seeing. "Breathe, Julie," Ilena commanded. That seemed to help a little. "It's a formal court, even if small. You have to be properly presentable."

"Ah, thank you," Julie said trying to be polite and express her gratitude.

"It isn't something to thank me for. I have done it purely out of selfishness." Ilena rejected the gratitude, wishing just ever so slightly she could reject the person.

"Um…," Ilena waited patiently, "why will it be a formal court? Can't Princess Shirayuki just ask me normally?"

"It isn't for you, any more than the clothing." Ilena's frustration finally came out in a scowl. "It's her first, and likely her only ever court." She looked away from Julie, not wanting to see her.

"Um...why?" Julie's question was so innocent.

Ilena sighed. "She is doing it to make a point...for my benefit." Julie was waiting for further explanation. "She is trying to show me her determination." Ilena slowed her steps just a little again, suddenly wanting to explain this part. She looked at Julie directly. "I am a Princess of two countries, and fully capable of being Queen...of any country. I'm Izana's rival. For Princess Shirayuki, who was born common, to stay ahead of me, she has to be very determined and fight hard. I have helped her get to where she is, until now. She is ready to set our positions as the King and Regent have set them, with me being the lowest on the rung of the royalty of Clarines."

Ilena's eyes flashed. "...I will fight her every step of the way and she knows it, because that is how I have trained her until this time. If she cannot put her will forward and show she has enough strength, then I will not give way. Only in this way has she been able to be placed where she is today. Zen is her ally and has surely been the one to recommend she do it this way. They were in conference for nearly an hour this afternoon after you left us and before giving us the orders we have been following since then."

Julie looked like she had another question rising to the surface, but Ilena wasn't done. "The relationship between Obi and I and Regent Zen and Princess Shirayuki is extremely complex. Please do not ask about it. You will learn it as you go. When we are relaxed, we are friends and close family. That is what you saw at the noontime. When we are formal, it is so complex as to be changing even second by second." Ilena looked away. "I like it that way. It keeps me entertained - a difficult thing." She looked back at Julie. "They will all tell you that a bored Ilena is a bad thing." Julie blinked her amazement away and took a breath.

Ilena let her get out the question this time. "Is that why you're angry?"

Ilena blinked, then smiled again. Another point. "Yes," she let the smile stay. "It's been hard enough to submit myself to everyone I've had to so far. To have to take the final step and submit to her...and to you who I do not know...has made the Queen in me rebel - quite a lot really."

Julie was quiet, and they had reached the inn. Ilena stopped them and turned to face her directly. "From this point on, you are to be silent and only speak when spoken to, save for pleasant conversation at dinner with your neighbors. If you have any more pressing questions, ask them now."

Julie looked at Ilena calmly for a moment, then slowly raised her hand and lowered it over Ilena's eyes, covering them. Ilena stiffened and held very still, drawing in a breath to hold it, then remembered she had to breathe and let it out slowly, her ears listening very closely, her eyes unfocused on the palm in front of them. The scent of the other woman entered her nostrils and teased her, not settling on a flavor, though Kirk was intermixed with it. Somehow it seemed a strong yet gentle hand, though.

"Princess Ilena," Julie said quietly, "I'm sure it's difficult to have things change for you, but I think that it's likely, since you are friends and close family, that they only do things for you because they care about you. If Princess Shirayuki has chosen to do a thing, surely it is only to your benefit. Everyone was very kind to me and to each other today, even you. I hope you can let your anger go, and trust them."

Ilena stood shocked. She blinked a few times, then finally sighed. "You've just sealed your fate, girl. Good luck. If I don't eat you in the next month, you might survive the year. May the Gods help us all. I'll calm down for the moment, but I don't expect it to be easy for some time to come. You will see me in reverse from everyone else. ...Ask Obi what that means when he starts training you." She snapped her mouth closed. That was all the warning she was going to give. The hand didn't move and Ilena breathed a few more times to finish calming, then nodded. The hand finally moved away and she stared into Julie's eyes.

Julie looked calmly back at her, then suddenly started and looked completely horrified.

"Back up," Ilena said calmly. "Review again the results of the experiment, and hold on to the data. Your opinion and the opinions of others, even me, are irrelevant. This is why they want a researcher."

Julie blinked, calmed down, though she was still breathing a bit hard from her moment of panic, and did as she was told. Puzzlement came over her face. "...Really, Princess Ilena?"

Ilena nodded, completely serious. "Really." Julie stared at her. "I will not answer any more questions at this time. Once the formalities are completed you will learn far more than you can hold on to." Ilena turned towards the porch and the door. "I am, after all, a professor."

 **CHAPTER 22 First Princess's Court**

Ilena led Julie to Leah and Rio's room and left her and the package containing her clothing for the evening with them. Then she went to her room. "Where is Obi?" she asked.

He arrived shortly after the question left the room. She took his arm and sat him in one of the chairs in the room, then sank down onto her knees next to him and put her arms and head in his lap. After a moment to put things in order, Obi began to pet her head, the braid beginning to come undone now that it wasn't tied. He rested his other hand on her arm where it lay across his legs. Ilena shivered slightly, then said quietly. "Report."

"The soldiers are preparing themselves and will arrive at the proper time." He paused, then picked up her braid and began to untwist it so it would lay loose, finger combing it as he went.

"I've set the inn to its proper preparations." Ilena began her report. "The room will be set up an hour before the dinner is to begin so that it may be inspected for correctness and secured. The food and drink have been ordered. All of the attendees have been invited and informed of their seating and the proper decorum for the events, as have their servants. It's possible that you will have to go and see to the security of the room in my place as I've only just arrived and the maids are preparing Miss Julie first before they come to prepare me." Ilena shivered again and buried her face in his lap.

Obi paused in his hair ministrations and gently put one hand on the back of her head. "What is it, Ilena?" he asked gently.

It took some time before she had an answer. "The Queen is not ready to die and is grieving."

Obi considered her answer. "You even still harbored a belief you would become a Queen of the realm someday?"

Ilena nodded, not lifting her head. "It is my pride, I suppose some would say. I know I can be a Queen, and only Izana is my rival. To have to let it go...it is very difficult. She fights it more so because she argues against Mistress Shirayuki who is only a peasant and only reached her heights because I chose to push her to them." Ilena sighed. "It's a difficult fight, and I can't reach yet the Ilena who is proud of her student for reaching this final test. She will succeed, too, but I'm fighting against the Queen who wants to sabotage it and make it fail. ...Of course, it will only be me in the end that fails if that happens. The only thing I stand to lose for Mistress Shirayuki winning is that pride of the Queen." Ilena bit her lip. "But...somehow...it makes me feel like I'm giving up and admitting I'm not as good as I am or can be - like I'm cutting off my own feet."

Obi was thoughtful for a while. "Do you stand on the feet of the Queen, or of the Princess?"

Ilena considered it. "The Queen. I cannot carry myself with surety as the princess. The Princess has failed too many times and must rely on others."

Obi sighed and went back to petting her head again while he thought. "...Can...the Queen...retire? Become like the Dowager Queen Mother, who still retains her strength and grace, but relinquishes the responsibilities and powers?"

Ilena was very still as she thought about the possibility. "The moving of the mantle…," she murmured. Finally she sighed and relaxed. "Yes. That is possible, with acceptable results." She suddenly seemed as if she would fall asleep right then. She took Obi's hand that was resting on her arm again and kissed it. "I love you, Obi." When Obi would have taken it back, she gripped it and held on tight. When the fingers of Obi's other hand brushed lightly on the back of her neck as he ended the current petting motion, she shivered and her breathing increased.

"What is it?" Obi asked her again, pressing the hand that was holding his encouragingly.

"I don't want to lose you." It was fear.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said calmly. "You are still mine. That will not change."

"I don't want anyone else," she answered him petulantly.

Obi stopped petting her. Finally he asked her, "Do you understand why you need another?"

Ilena angrily turned her head sharply away from him. He lightly rested the fingers of his free hand on her arm and considered her. "Did - did it not occur to you that another would be necessary?"

Ilena shook her head rapidly and unhappily. Obi picked up a strand of hair and ran it through his fingers, lacing it through over and over while he thought, then lifted it to his lips. "Tell me, Ilena, what path leads to it and why it is necessary. If you haven't thought of it before now, you must do so now."

Ilena buried her face in his lap again, but was relaxed, thinking it through. "The simplest answer is that Mistress Shirayuki needs to have one who is in the same position between her and I, that you are in for Master Zen and I, though I don't like it. I would rather she just had the strength on her own to stand there. I know that Leah and you both feel that I will need one when you cannot be present, but I argue that it will be uncommon and brief. I do not want to have to learn to bend for one more person."

"Hmm…," Obi answered. "It's pride again. Who carries that pride?"

Ilena went still, surprised by the question. She considered it. "It is not the Princess...I think. Certainly not the Steward? Not the wife." She sighed. "It is Ilena. Why, Obi?"

It made sense now that it was discovered. She already knew very little about herself as a person - just Ilena. "Is it the Ilena who believes she must be able to stand on her own feet and fight for her own freedom and self, who finds it difficult to see friends in the world around her?"

Ilena nodded. That was the nine-year-old self. Obi put his hand under her chin and made her sit up and look at him. When he had her gaze, steady and calm, he said firmly, "Thailena, you are not alone in this world. To have those around you who are a strength to you is to have strength within you also. You have learned this by pulling to yourself many who are a strength to you already. You are stronger because of their strength. There is no weakness in relying on others as it is necessary." He held her eyes and waited for the message to be accepted. The older Ilena did understand this.

When the two parts of Ilena had reconciled, Obi continued. "Why do you chose to bend to others?"

A brief pause, then, "Because they protect my path."

"Mmm...trust," Obi translated softly. "I would wish for you to trust those of us who are asking this of you. It may not be possible for you to understand it yet, why we see it is necessary, if you cannot already see it of yourself. But, it's for the same reason - because we wish to protect your path."

Ilena tipped her head and Obi saw the fear flare again. "Is it like my placing Mistress Shirayuki and Queen Haki in their places?"

Obi reached out and ran the backs of his curled fingers along her cheek to her ear, then cupped her face. "Ilena, do you expect to die?"

She paused, then said quietly, "No."

"I don't plan on dying either." Obi paused. "But does that mean we shouldn't set precautions in place that can be useful in other ways as well?"

Ilena could not hold his gaze. "Obi...I did not like that answer." Her face crumpled.

Obi pulled her up into his lap and held her as she cried. How could she have not thought it and understood it already, having set up the three of them, and all her Family, with secondary supports for the same reason? He already knew how hard it was to face that reason. Everyone who had seen it from her had felt the same as she felt now. He had merely forced her to acknowledge it. "Ilena, we all want to know that you are protected from the unexpected, so that we can rest easy and not worry so much for you," he said gently. "We will not leave you for having that protection in place. We will stay and you will still be ours. We do not want to give you up either. Rather it is part of protecting you more firmly in the place you belong."

Obi ran his fingers through her hair over her ear and down the length of it, then kissed her gently. "Please, bend for us."

Ilena continued to sniffle for a bit into his shoulder, then nodded. "I will try, Obi...but I think it will be difficult. The five year old Ilena doesn't want to see a repeat of the loss of those she trusted and loved the most."

Obi put his hand on her head and held her close. "No, I'm sure you don't want to. We don't want it either." He kissed her forehead.

There was a knock on the door _. I am sorry Master Obi, Mistress Ilena. It is time to get ready._

Obi moved his hand to cup her jaw and looked into her eyes again, carefully restraining himself. The innocent, unguarded, and trusting Ilena was also difficult for him to resist. "Is it enough?" he asked her.

Ilena took a breath and let it out, closing her eyes. When they opened again, she was more in control. "It will have to do for now. I can't find anything else so quickly. Perhaps the worst is taken care of, however."

Obi nodded and helped her stand, then stood as well. "Come," he called to the waiting servants. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, holding his hands together behind her just where her hair ended. He kissed her deeply and long, not caring that the door had been opened and their servants were entering. He would need them to let her go, but he needed to have her just long enough to not go crazy before dinner. The warmth of her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her response to his kiss comforted him. "Ilena," he whispered in her ear, "please, never run and hide from me. I'm still not able to stand without you."

"I'm here, Obi," she answered him. "I am yours, and I will not leave you."

Obi could feel the guards approach. They recognized the symptoms. He felt Ilena turn her head and look at them, and they stopped and waited. He closed his eyes and carefully breathed himself to calm. He was glad she understood that today was different. When he was centered, he gently released her. She ran her hands down his arms until they were holding hands. He held on tightly for a moment, reaching for the next level of strength, receiving it from her calm steady stance. When he was ready, he looked up into her eyes.

When their eyes met, they both smiled wryly. They shared the same expression of weakness and need, love and tenderness. Ilena pulled on his hands to make them close their distance and kissed his cheek, then went back to their previous distance. "I suppose we shall just have to accept it's Obi and Ilena for a while, then," Ilena said with a smile. "I would think that allowing it for a time would be okay. We are supposed to be on vacation, after all."

Obi grinned a shy grin at her. "Well, I guess that'd be alright by me."

Ilena pressed his hands and released him but didn't pull away. He held on to her hands just a moment longer, then let go except for the fingertips on one hand held on to her little finger. He took one more deep breath, then let go. He looked into her eyes a moment longer, then nodded once. Ilena smiled, took her own breath, then nodded once back. They looked at the others in the room.

The guards took their time making sure they'd stay separated, then stepped back to the door and the wall to wait. Both Obi and Ilena judged their clothing and appearance at the same time, nodding when they were satisfied. The servants waiting to dress them were next and they were also each subjected to the judgement of their master and mistress. When they were approved, Rio and Justinian held out their hands for their respective charge. Ilena took Rio's hand, but Obi carefully did not take Justinian's, only moving to the space Justinian wanted him to go to, unbuckling his sword as he went.

Obi carefully paid attention to helping Justinian do his office, not demanding to do it himself. He was ready first, even with the hair combing and pinning of his badges and the Second Princess's jem. A circlet being placed on his head surprised him though and he raised an eyebrow at Justinian. He received a firm look and left it at that. Justinian stepped back, done with his handiwork. Obi looked around at his wife. She was in her dress and was having her hair brushed by Rio. He smiled. That was his favorite part to watch. Ilena had her eyes mostly closed in rapture, as usual, and Rio's sure strong and long strokes from scalp to ends made the length of Ilena's hair more accented and beautiful. "Rio," Obi said softly, "for me, will you leave it down tonight?"

Rio looked up briefly in surprise, then nodded once and attended to her work again. Obi could see there was a circlet for her on the bed as well, and his gaze settled on it for a moment, then he looked up at the brown haired woman standing against the wall on the opposite side of the room. She was looking at him. He assumed his words had caught her attention. He nodded to her politely, then subjected her to the same judgemental scan he had the other servants.

"It's from a different house," he commented.

"Um-hm," Ilena said in a murmur. "It's local. I don't have many of her works myself, but I have gifted a few to Leah and Rio."

Obi looked at them again. "Rio's is from the same hand, but not Leah's...no Leah's is from the house in Wilant."

Leah nodded. "Your eye is very good, Master Obi," she said calmly.

"From a past bad habit, I'm afraid," he said lightly. He turned away, and looked at Justinian's clothes again, then tipped his head. "I didn't think he would have had time to get anything from the Wilant house?"

"She sent it with the Tarc clothing. If he's wearing it, he found it in the luggage we brought with us. Good man, Justinian." Justinian blushed slightly, making Obi smile.

Ilena sighed and Obi looked back at her. Rio had put the brush down and was pulling her hair back from her forehead to make a small circlet of hairs from either side, pinned together in the center of the back of her head. Obi walked around to stand in front of Ilena, watching Rio settle the medallion of the Second Princess around her neck and then the circlet on her head. Ilena opened her eyes and looked into his and smiled. He smiled back and reached for her hand. She gave it to him and he helped her stand, then kissed the back of that hand. And, like that, they were the Second Princess and the Consort.

There was another knock on the door and Petroi walked in, leaving the door open. "I have secured the upper hall and the guards are properly in place," he said calmly.

"Thank you, Petroi," Obi said, taking the lead on purpose. "Please call for Kirk to come and escort Miss Julie, then we'll send him back to retrieve Master and Mistress at the proper time. If their dressers are not finished, have him wait for them so that they may all come together."

"Yes, Master Obi," Petroi bowed and left the room again.

It wasn't too much longer and they had processed up to the reception hall and were standing in their proper places. Shirayuki and Zen didn't make them wait much longer either, walking in with their guards shortly after the rest were in place. Shirayuki's guards peeled off for their seats, standing with the rest until Shirayuki and Zen sat. Then the rest sat and the guard on the serving door allowed the servers to enter.

-o-o-o-

Shirayuki had placed herself and Zen at a head table with only his castle guards standing behind them. The remainder of their household was seated to her side of the head table, on Zen's right as he faced the room. Ilena and Obi were seated slightly in front of everyone else, but to Zen's left. Behind them were the rest of their household. Julie was seated between Leah and Rio with Justinian on the other side of Rio. The four guards were behind them.

Delia, Maria, and Rutherford were set equal to the servants behind Obi and Ilena. Shirayuki's guards were set behind them, equal to the other guards, with Kirk being placed on the edge closest to Ilena's guards so he was as close to Julie as he could be placed.

The food was castle formal, delicate, and delicious. The wine matched, and Obi raised his glass briefly to Ilena. She accepted his praise with a silent tip of the head. "You have a castle bred chef here in Lyrias," commented Zen.

"Yes, Regent Zen," Ilena answered calmly. "I must be prepared for all contingencies, after all, at least as best I am able." That last comment earned her a longer look from Zen than necessary, but she continued to eat calmly. "It has always concerned me that I might have to suddenly host King Izana in the hometown of his Queen wife on a family visit. ...The nightmares didn't subside until I had a proper chef in my employ." Obi had to hide a laugh, and even Zen almost choked on his food.

"Surely," Zen tried to recover but was having difficulty succeeding, "such a remote possibility would not have kept you sleepless and your nights full of nightmares?"

"Well, considering that it has come true even to this level, I think it was not ill advised to follow through on it," Ilena said practically.

"Well, no perhaps not," Zen allowed.

After a pause, Shirayuki asked, "Is the chef the same as the one that cooks for this inn regularly?"

"Yes, Princess Shirayuki," Ilena answered.

"Is he content with it? The difference in cooking styles seems so different."

"It is, and he is. I was able to procure him based on the promise that he would only have to cook castle food when absolutely necessary. He was ready to move on to learning and enjoying other techniques. There is enough diversity of peoples here in Lyrias he has learned a wide repertoire, though in the main he must cook what the clientele of the inn wish to eat. He was quite willing to turn his hand to castle fair again after so long a time of being away from it."

"He hasn't lost the touch, I see," Shirayuki commented.

"No. I'm pleased to see it as well," Ilena agreed.

The conversation calmed in favor of eating again for a while. It had opened the floor for the servants of the households to begin to converse quietly, however, and the testing of Julie had begun. The four royals kept an ear on it so they would understand as well, though they didn't directly focus their attention on it in order to not have her feel the weight of so much attention. They also didn't let their own conversation lag into uncomfortable silence. That would have been the height of rudeness, after all.

When the dinner portion was completed and the dishes had all been removed, Obi motioned to the guards on the walls and they quietly and efficiently removed the dining tables to the walls of the room. As they did so, Zen stood, making everyone stand briefly, his guards moved his chair back a step and slightly farther left of Shirayuki. Zen sat again and his guards returned to their positions. Everyone else sat again except Shirayuki's guards. Leon and Brian went to stand behind Shirayuki, one to either side of her, and Sam stood in front of her to her right, in the voice position. Kirk moved his chair up to sit with the three servants of the household, putting him level with Julie now, but not alone on his row. Shirayuki looked calmly at the people in front of her, then nodded to Sam.

"You sit before Prince Zen, Regent Wilant, and First Princess Shirayuki of Clarines, at the Court of the First Princess," Sam said calmly and in a normal tone of voice. This wasn't a great hall that needed shouting after all. "Listen well, attend to her words, and obey." He gave the obligatory pause, though everyone was already paying attention and quiet. "The First Princess calls Kirk Leander."

Kirk rose from his chair and walked to stand the proper respectful distance before Shirayuki and bowed formally. "I have promised to tell you my story," he said to her. "Do you wish to hear it now?" Shirayuki nodded her head once gracefully. He stood at formal rest in front of her and began. "The beginning of our story you've already heard to some degree. I was the one who gave Julie the infant rabbit that died and began her search to understand how to treat animals. Because I was as sad as she was, I encouraged her in her desire to learn it, and I was as surprised as she was when my father forbade it upon discovering it. However, I stood in her defense and entreated her to go to Lyrias when she was ready to leave the barony."

"My defense of her earned my father's ire and he sent me to Wilant castle as my punishment. When I found Mistress Shirayuki studying in the library, it reminded me of Julie and I found myself wanting to help her also. There, my father couldn't prevent it, and I felt the same joy and exhilaration at her steady progress that I had felt for Julie's."

"When Mistress Shirayuki asked me to stand as a guard and aide for her, I was willing because I already knew she was studying to become Regent Zen's Princess. It's a Lord's duty to support his liege and in helping her to become a strong and intelligent Princess I felt I would have properly supported you. I knew my father would disagree, but I had already determined we would always disagree on this point. It would be sufficient redress to my father if he felt I was serving the Regent directly, particularly if he didn't know to what extent I had been helping Mistress Shirayuki."

Kirk paused before continuing. "There is another piece to understand from the beginning. My father set aside his first wife for being unable to bear children after five years of effort. His second wife was a researcher he met while visiting in Lyrias. After the first two years of trying to create an heir, she did what all researchers do. She went and visited the first wife and asked her many questions about why no heir had been produced, and asked if she would do an experiment. That is, find a man to marry and try to get pregnant again. The first wife sent a letter to the second seven months later saying she was pregnant."

"When the second wife attempted to explain that the reason my father had no heirs was because he was not capable of producing them, he was very angry with her and nearly set her aside at that time, but she repented and said she would try again with him. He was satisfied when nearly a year later a son was born. Within two years another son was born, and again he was very satisfied. Nearly three years later I was born...but I was born almost two months later than my father expected."

"My older brothers look like my father, but I look like our mother. He had been allowing her to return regularly to Lyrias to continue at the University, but after I was born late, and looking different, he became suspicious and sent one of his men to follow her whenever she went to Lyrias. He was unable to find anything out at the time. Then mother became pregnant a fourth time and our father became suspicious once again. She assured him time and again that it was his child and apologized for it being a surprise for them both, but he already would not believe her. He finally sent her away back to Lyrias, telling her to go and see if the man who she had been laying with would keep her now."

Kirk's face twisted in wry comic grief. "She returned with an infant girl several months later, saying it was his child and he should therefore care for her. My mother left that child at the barony, and my father gave her to one of the couples on his estate to take care of. Because I was already under suspicion, I was interested in who this sibling of mine was and spent many hours, days, and years with her until she left the house for Lyrias also. My older brothers would not spend time with me anyway, learning from my father and his third wife to turn their backs to me. My father and his third wife have also never had children, but my father is content as he believes the heirs he does have to be sufficient."

Kirk paused again. "I don't think my Mother took a lover, but merely, as a researcher who needed to complete a requirement, found a way to meet that requirement. As with most researchers, she was married to her research first, her husband second, though she did desire to be obedient to him. Julie asked me to go with her today to meet with my mother and her current husband so that she might ask for the truth one more time, thinking my presence might help my mother to open up a little more. It was sufficient to bring her out to be questioned, and she finally allowed her husband to answer to Julie's existence. I am personally content with my own past as my mother has explained it already."

"The story we heard today from Mister Inule was that he and his first wife took in my mother when she was sent away pregnant to Lyrias, as they had been friends from her research days. Mister Inule's wife was also pregnant with their first child. On the day they gave birth, my mother's child was born deformed and already dead. Julie's mother died in childbirth on that same day. Mister Inule requested of my mother that she claim Julie as her own child and send her to be taken care of by the baron. She did so, though she warned him that Julie's life might not be any easier. Mister Inule has apologized and he and Julie have reconciled and promised to reunite whenever possible."

Kirk shifted ever so slightly. "I had hoped to hear such a story and after we left the house, I spoke with Julie privately about my station and position openly, as well as my future prospects and hers. I have requested that she think kindly on me and to someday answer to my request that she become my wife, though I am content to wait upon her decision for as long as she needs to properly consider it." He lightly stressed the last. Everyone in the room could feel Julie's embarrassment, but they politely ignored her so she could recover. They all knew it was important for Kirk to share it openly, and why, even if she didn't.

Shirayuki looked over at Ilena sternly until Ilena bowed her head slightly. Once she was content she'd received a sufficient promise, Shirayuki looked at Kirk. "Thank you, Kirk," she said. He bowed and returned to his seat.

Shirayuki looked past Obi and Ilena, polling the testers. She received sufficient answer, then nodded to Sam. "The First Princess Calls Lord Obi Melick and Second Princess Ilena," he intoned.

Obi had already been holding Ilena's hand. He rose, lifting her with him and they moved to stand in front of Shirayuki. Obi bowed and Ilena curtseyed at just the correct amount for their relative stations. Her eyes were locked on Shirayuki, and her face was neutral, though her eyes showed a little strain. Shirayuki looked first at Obi, taking strength in his calm face, so familiar to her. She sat up even straighter and pulled nobility to her like a cloak, then looked into Ilena's eyes and her face became set and her eyes firm. "Ilena," her voice rang and was as firm as her eyes, "who do you belong to?"

"Master Zen and Obi," Ilena answered back her usual obedient response, and her eyes firmed somewhat.

"That answer is incomplete, Ilena," Shirayuki responded firmly, not taking her eyes off Ilena's eyes, nor backing down from the flare the words brought. "Who did Regent Zen give you to?"

Ilena pulled back her head slightly and blinked. She stood still for a moment, then answered, "Obi…," she finally bowed her head to say, "...and Mistress Shirayuki." She raised her head and looked at Shirayuki again, but she was not fully obedient yet, her eyes still holding a challenge, though muted.

"Then say it again, Ilena. Who do you belong to?" Shirayuki stressed the question, requiring obedience but not fiercely.

Ilena took a breath and her eyes unfocused. Everyone in the room felt the sudden surge of energy that welled up in Ilena, then seemed to explode from her, though she neither moved nor made a sound. To the soldiers in the room, it felt akin to a killing intent. In another breath the energy had dissipated and Ilena bowed. "Master Zen, Obi, and Mistress Shirayuki." When she rose from her bow, Shirayuki was pleased to see calm receptiveness in her eyes, though her face was still impassive. There was something a little sad in it for her. Just that slight waver caused Ilena's gaze to sharpen, however, and Shirayuki quickly set her resolve again.

"Yes, Ilena, that's correct," Shirayuki said calmly, but still with ownership in her voice. "Until now, however, you have not learned to come to my call, save when it suits you. This cannot be allowed to continue from this time, for I wish to call you and Obi into my household. In order for that to be possible, you must be able to answer to me as you do to Regent Zen. Just as he set Obi to help you answer to him, I will set one to help you to answer to me." She saw Ilena flare again and she paused and held Ilena's eyes, her face set with her resolve. "You will allow it, Ilena. ...I need you both at my side."

Ilena took a breath. "Princess Shirayuki, do you understand what that really means? Are you prepared for the full consequences of taking me as your own?"

Shirayuki paused. Carefully she answered, "I am sure you will teach me what I may not have understood; however, I do understand that to take you as my own is nearly equivalent to telling King Izana he must answer to me." While she recognized it to be true, her own heart quailed just saying the name she most feared in such a blasphemous way. Though, she had already told him once a thing he needed to be obedient to, and he had chosen to be. It had surprised her, but he'd said that if he didn't, he wouldn't be properly trusting and using his people the way he should.

Ilena turned her head slightly and stared at her out of one eye, as if trying to determine if she believed her or not. Finally she turned back to look at Shirayuki directly, her face set in a scowl. "It is insufficient," she said with finality. "You do not comprehend sufficiently, nor can you withstand the consequence. I didn't put you where you are, only to have you tear yourself apart trying to hold me."

Shirayuki felt a flash of anger and she went with it. Zen had warned her Ilena would test her and that she would have to pass the test for Ilena to bend to her will. All of the things Ilena had taught her, and all of the things she had learned from Zen flashed through her mind, her mind catching and holding those things that were relevant to this moment. She rose from her chair slowly and walked with deliberation over to stand in front of Ilena. She even folded her arms, a thing she rarely ever did, and she let her anger show in her eyes. Ilena watched her, calmly, but still with her face set.

"Ilena," Shirayuki said, "I appreciate that you are still wanting to protect me from harm, even if from yourself, however...you - did - not - put - me - here." Her eyes were spitting fire. "You helped me only when I asked, and I only did that which I saw fit to do. I put in the effort to get where I am." She paused to reign in her anger enough to continue speaking properly, taking a breath. "I appreciate your help and concern, and it is true that you made the way easier, but do not take credit for what you did not do."

Ilena looked at Shirayuki impassively a moment longer, then bowed slightly. "My apologies, Mistress Shirayuki, for taking all of the credit wrongly." She stood back up and looked at her calmly, "but, Mistress Shirayuki, you really do need to learn how to have strength and a backbone without being made to be angry first. I hope you will learn it soon. I am quite tired of having that as the only way to push you to it."

Shirayuki blinked, then put her hands on her hips. "Ilena, that is what I was doing before. It was not necessary to push me to anger if you had been obedient before." Ilena looked away evasively. Shirayuki finally let her scowl show. "Down, Ilena!" she pointed to the floor. Ilena looked at her a bit surprised. "Now. I am going to explain it to you." Ilena blinked, took a breath, then bowed her head, and knelt on the floor gracefully. She did not let Obi's hand go, and the loose hand went into her lap in a relaxed curl. She looked up into Shirayuki's face, waiting.

Shirayuki moved back to her chair and sat again. She nodded to Sam. "The First Princess calls Julie Ulmer." Obi stepped to the side, but stayed close to Ilena holding her hand still.

Julie came to stand in front of Shirayuki and curtseyed a little awkwardly, but it was acceptable. "Julie," Shirayuki called her, and the young woman looked at her with some trepidation.

"Yes, your Highness?" she answered.

"I have need of you." Julie's eyes widened. "Ilena is mine," Shirayuki explained. "Zen has given her to stand with me at Obi's side since we discovered her, but we will lose Obi for a time this fall while he is on Zen's errand. She is still as of yet untrained in how I expect her to answer to me, as evidenced here this evening. Will you come with us and be trained by Obi to be his replacement during the time he is gone, and so that you may train her in what behaviours I expect? Other than he, only Zen and I can handle her, and we have other duties to attend to. You have already proven to those who understand that you have the capacity necessary to stand in that place. You will report to me on her progress, and I will expect at your hand to see positive results." Shirayuki was very firm on all the points important to her.

Julie blinked and clasped her hands in front of her skirt. "It is most strange to me, Princess. Never in my life would I have considered that my charge would be a human, not an animal. It's difficult for me to reconcile myself to it, though Princess Ilena herself warned me, and Kirk also to some degree." She paused and looked down at the floor in front of her, then looked back up at Shirayuki with a small wry smile. "However, I must admit my mind has already been caught by the curiosity of it, and the possibilities I see in being able to accomplish your goal. I can't say at this time if I'm the best person for you to select; however, ...I am willing to try my best." She bowed. "I will come if you ask it of me." The light in her eyes when she rose was the light of a researcher bent on a new project and Shirayuki smiled slightly.

"I will require you to be gentle, as well," Shirayuki warned her. "She is not merely a research subject, but my beloved sister also."

Julie blinked, her expression going soft. She nodded. "Yes, I have understood that also. The kindness all of you had towards me earlier today, and towards each other, has already taught me it."

Shirayuki smiled fully now. Julie did have the combination of qualities that were needed, it seemed. "Very well, consider yourself called up as of now." She turned to Ilena, her expression going serious again. "Ilena, do you understand that because you are not willing to recognize when I have been sufficiently firm for obedience, I have called Julie to teach it to you?" Ilena nodded obediently. "I have chosen her because she has the combination of qualities necessary to help you in the best way, both with gentleness and with firmness, and with a mind to quickly understand what will work to help you learn and what will not. And, also," Shirayuki paused, then added with a sigh, "because she has the patience to work with wild animals." She tipped her head at Ilena. "Ilena," she said firmly, "Do you understand me?"

Ilena bowed deeply from her kneeling position, "Yes, Mistress Shirayuki." She held it for a moment, then sat back up, her face and eyes calm.

Shirayuki looked at Julie again. "Thank you. Ilena, you may rise," Shirayuki said calmly.

Julie bowed to Shirayuki, then walked over to stand next to Ilena on the other side of Obi and they all bowed. Shirayuki nodded her head and the three returned to sit in their places, though Henry brought up his chair from the back for Julie to sit on the other side of Ilena, then took one of the empties from the back for his replacement.

Shirayuki nodded at Sam. "Is there any further business before the Court of the First Princess?" he gave the obligatory question.

Ilena stood and bowed. Shirayuki raised an eyebrow, then nodded. "If it please the Princess, I have business with the Consort that needs to be completed before the Regent." Zen sat up and Obi looked up at Ilena.

Shirayuki nodded. "You may state your business," she allowed in the formal way.

Ilena walked to the front, just left of Shirayuki, towards Zen, then turned to face the small assembly. "Lord Obi, please come forward," she requested.

Obi rose and walked up to face her, bowing formally. "Please state your determination towards your manservant."

"I have accepted him," Obi said simply.

"Are you pleased with his current progress?"

"Yes."

Ilena nodded. "Please stand to the side," she requested, and Obi stepped to the side and waited at parade rest. "Petroi, please come forward." Ilena watched as he walked to stand in front of her. He bowed deeply and formally. "Please report on the progress of your students."

Zen sat forward and listened very closely as Petroi reported that all of them had learned Tarc sufficiently for the study of the law to begin, that Justinian had passed their testing of him to Page, and he was already well on the way to Agent. They had all learned to ride their horses acceptably, and were well into the practice of warfare from horseback, focusing on defense, and would be ready to receive from her the plans she had thought of as they began the next leg of the journey.

Also, they had all learned the braids and were in the process of mastering them at various levels, with Justinian being the farthest along. "We've determined that he must know them the best as it will be his protection if he is captured." Petroi told them, and Ilena's pleased reaction made Zen wonder what could be worse, then decide he didn't want to know.

Petroi also gave a numbered report of the speed by which they could take down and set up the tent. "Does that include the time to get it tied on to the horse?" Ilena asked him.

Petroi paused. "No, I've forgotten to add that time in."

Ilena nodded. "Please continue to work hard on that. It isn't yet sufficient." Petroi bowed. "Is there anything else?" Ilena asked him.

Petroi paused. "We 've learned that Justinian's skill set is quite large, and also includes small hand blade and hand-to-hand combat. We've been training him to strengthen those skills and adding to them slightly. Master Obi requested that he practice slight-of-hand attacks with the hand blade, contrary to the traditions of the Tarc, so that we might have that much more the advantage over them."

Ilena raised an eyebrow. "Do you see this causing more problems with his defense if he should be discovered?"

Petroi carefully answered. "As long as he continues to practice, I intend to test him before we enter Tarc. If he can't be discreet enough I won't allow him to do it. If he's learned to not be noticeable sufficiently, then I'll allow it."

Ilena slowly nodded. "I would see it," she said.

Petroi bowed. "We are ready for your testing when it is possible to show you," he said.

Ilena looked from him to Obi, then at Justinian and Thayne. "I look forward to seeing what you have to show me." She looked back to Petroi. "Thank you." Petroi bowed and returned to his seat. Ilena looked to Justinian again thoughtfully, then began to rapid fire questions at him in Tarc. He sat up and answered them in Tarc as best he could, then she suddenly stopped and switched to the castle local Family code, so that to those who didn't know it, it appeared they suddenly went silent for some time, though she continued to look at him with the same piercing look. Finally she put her lips together and paused. "Very well," she said. "Consider yourself Agent already, though they'll correct the few errors you had. Why you want it I have no idea."

Justinian bowed from his seat. "Thank you, Princess Ilena," he said quietly, with a satisfied look on his face.

Ilena turned to Obi and saw he had a small jaunty smile on his face and he was looking at her. "I think that was the best gift you could have given him today," Obi said in response to her querying look.

Ilena looked at him in surprise, then her look fell somewhat. "Oh, dear. Is that what it is?"

Obi grinned at her. "Yup."

Ilena sighed. "I'll see to it later, then."

Obi nodded at her. "See that you do," he said cheerily.

Ilena asked him if he any further business and he shook his head 'no', then paused. "Ah, actually," he turned to Zen. "Master, Mistress," he tipped his head at Shirayuki as well, "I've been considering Ilena's request to me that I test her knife skills. Petroi has told me that here in Lyrias there are two fighting competition rings, one for hand-to-hand combat, one for knife skills. She is still not healed sufficiently for hand-to-hand, but I think she may be able to perform well enough in the knife ring. I also would like to practice with her in doubles of the same, though I'm perhaps a bit weaker there. We haven't had the opportunity to work side by side yet in that manner. May we be allowed to enter a doubles tournament there while we're here?"

"Will it lead to injury of either of you?" Zen asked.

"We are both very good," Obi said.

Ilena shook her head. "It doesn't need to, even so. We can enter and exit the tournament at any time. If we only wish to reach a level of practice, we can remove ourselves at the point at which only the good fighters are left, then let them continue to the top level. I never lose, so I occasionally will follow that pattern so as to let the other competitors not give up early."

Shirayuki blinked at Ilena's bald proud statement, said so calmly. Zen stared at her. "Well, then, do that," he finally said. "I desire to be present, but Shirayuki has already requested to sit it out."

Ilena and Obi both bowed. "Also," Obi added, "I would like to practice with Petroi and Thayne in a three-on-three tournament in the hand-to-hand combat. We've fought each other, but not together. I think it's necessary for us to do so at least one time before we enter Tarc. If Ilena would be willing to set up such a thing, may we participate?"

Zen nodded immediately. He already knew Obi's skills and trusted them. He'd already won several tournaments on his own. They looked at Shirayuki. She looked at Ilena. "Ilena...are you really not fit to fight hand-to-hand?"

Ilena looked at her in surprise. "I can, but only in a limited fashion. The muscle and tendon are still weak, in comparison to those who will be fighting in the ring."

"I think Zen needs to see that as well, though."

All three others raised their eyebrows at Shirayuki. Ilena blinked, then looked at Obi. "I can schedule in an exhibition round, where only you and I fight to whatever level we want to. There is no reward for it, other than the entertainment of those watching, and an opportunity for the fighters to practice against each other."

Obi nodded slowly. "I haven't fought you standing yet, as I recall. That would be acceptable to me." He looked at Zen. Zen paused, then nodded.

"Please get it all out of your system for a long time," Shirayuki said to Ilena.

Ilena raised a surprised eyebrow at her. "Has it been so bad even you have seen it?"

Shirayuki sighed. "Yes."

Ilena's mouth went round in an 'oh', then she shrugged. "It's Obi's fault," she said simply. She looked at him. "Is your business complete?" Obi nodded, giving her a bland look. She returned it, then turned to Shirayuki and bowed. "My business before the Court of the First Princess is completed." She went to her seat, Obi following, and they sat. Sam closed the court and everyone sighed and relaxed, but most of all Shirayuki.

 **CHAPTER 23 A Family Evening**

Ilena took off her circlet and handed it to Leah, then lifted Obi's from his brow and handed it to Justinian. She got raised eyebrows and shook her head. She waved vaguely at the soldiers on the wall. "It's so they'll relax. We're done with the ultra formal. They could at least be allowed to go to watch instead of formal stance."

Shirayuki reached up and took her circlet off as well with a sigh. Zen paused then took his off and twirled it around his hand. "That's fine with me," he gave permission and the guards relaxed to the level Ilena had suggested. "However, that sounds like you aren't done, Ilena?"

"Well, since the topic of the fighting lists came up, I thought I would expound just a little more...like explain the rules."

Zen stood and motioned for his two personal guards for the night to move his chair back next to Shirayuki's. Ilena and Obi decided that was a good idea and shifted their chairs to be perpendicular so they could see both Zen and Shirayuki and everyone else. Ilena paused and looked at Julie, than nodded her head towards Kirk. Julie blushed faintly, but obediently took her chair over next to Kirk, receiving his sparkling smile gratefully. There was a bit of shuffling of other chairs as well as everyone got comfortable.

Obi turned to Ilena and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Ilena sighed. "More drink?"

Obi grinned. "You've both properly read my mind, and properly discussed it first. Yes, please."

Ilena turned to the guard on the server's door and motioned to him. He opened the door and quietly ordered evening drinks for the room. Ilena absently pulled a section of her hair on the right side of her head around to the front and began to plait it. Obi recognized it as the Kir'nah braid. "Well, we haven't quite completed the business Mistress Shirayuki's guards brought up. Will they eat me if I expound?" She looked over at them with a raised eyebrow. She got shrugs for the most part.

"Alright then. So...there is a House of the night walkers - that is, thieves, pickpockets, assassins, etc. - that I use to gain information so that I know what's going on among those types of people. After all, most internal problems are going to come from that part of society."

Ilena finished her braid and began another small one, this time the next level, or Manak' braid. "The House I use is called the House of the Queen of Knight, or formerly Queen of Night." Her eyes were on the four guards, testing to see who might react to the name. Sam raised an eyebrow, but the others were still. Ilena shrugged. "I'm the Queen. I own the house and run it. One of my businesses here in Lyrias is the two fighting arenas, one for knife and the other for hand-to-hand, because those are the two skills I need to hone and they are the two all of my Agents and above use, both day and night sides, in their own tasks. So, in effect, they're my training grounds. However, since it's also a business, they are both open to anyone who wants to play...until they decide to get ugly. Then they get tossed out."

Ilena looked down at her braid as she was coming to the end of it. "That includes the castle guard and all the rest of you." She had the interest of a larger group of people now. "So...you all need to know the rules." Ilena paused while the servers brought in the drinks and glasses and they were poured for the guests and hosts. When they were done and had left the room again, Ilena continued.

"First, the knife arena. Most of the time, it's one-on-one. You pay your fee, once per day per arena, get added to the list of competitors, wait for your name to be called, fight to first blood only - no killing allowed, walk off and wait again. It's considered polite and good form to only draw lightly. No need to cause significant injury. You can win and lose all day if you want, but...if you win and keep winning, your award winnings goes up. If you are still winning, you can stop, or you can wait until your first loss, then go get your earnings. There are occasional tournaments, but mostly when I'm around, since I like to see who's on top and give them special assignments, which means bonus money for them. It's the same rules for hand-to-hand, but not to the blood, and certainly not to the death. That's wasteful and pointless, after all. I can't use dead people. It's until there is a clear winner to the bout, or one yields to the other."

"Um...since it's open to anyone, there are people who participate from other countries as well, so that makes it nice if you want to learn other battling styles, hard if you've never seen their style before. In particular, the people I am protecting here in Lyrias from Tarc and Selicia find it a place to keep their skills up. We occasionally get others from other countries, though. The arenas are getting better known outside Clarines, which is helpful for business as well."

She paused to take a sip of her drink, then began the third braid, this time the P'rathna. "When I announce the tournaments, there is usually a set time, like half-an-hour, for teams to form up, if it's teams, and for people to register specifically for the tournament. Once registration is closed, they make the order up...to my specifications if necessary...and run it 'til it's done. I'm not the only one that can request exhibition matches, but they don't happen often." She considered if there was anything else. "The lists are underground, meaning literally and figuratively. The fighting list is at the base of a surrounding amphitheater that surrounds it. Just around it is the seating for the current registered fighters. Ah, yes. Betting is encouraged and handled by the house. When I show up, it's a bit too easy, so I often pull out early, as I said before."

Ilena looked at Obi. "Actually, I'll let the Lieutenants know you're doing the three-on-three. They'll probably come and face you as a physical test. That should make the betting pretty fierce and the tournament that much more exciting." Obi blinked at her. She thought a moment longer, then changed topics slightly. "Is the plan to do this tomorrow or the next day?" Ilena looked at Zen and Shirayuki.

They shrugged and she looked at Obi. "Tomorrow's just as good," he shrugged, reaching out and taking a length of her hair on his side. He began braiding a wife's braid in that section of her hair.

"Okay. So tomorrow, two of the castle guards will need to arrive at the inn early to escort Mistress Shirayuki. Six will need to come to escort Master Zen. The other six can participate if they want. If more than that want to participate, draw straws. We'll still be here another day. That will free up the personal knights to do what they need to do in the day. Mmm...let's do the knife arena in the morning and the hand-to-hand in the afternoon. I suppose the guards could trade out at lunch if there's a mix of interest and skills." Ilena named the price to register to fight so they would all know it ahead of time, then asked for questions.

Justinian raised his hand. "Am I allowed to participate as well?" he asked queryingly. Ilena looked at Obi. Obi nodded, and Justinian settled back thoughtfully.

"Shall we meet up for lunch?" Shirayuki asked.

There were nods around. Ilena named off a few places in that area they could eat at, and Obi and Shirayuki selected one they had liked from their time in Lyrias before. "Thayne, set up seating arrangements and security, please," Ilena requested as she took another sip of her drink and Obi took up a second section and began a Second's braid. "Mmm, Obi make two of those, ...and would it be okay, Master Zen, if the guards wore civic clothes instead of their uniforms? It doesn't matter that much, but it will draw less attention in the restaurant and if they participate, they'll be hit harder if they're in uniform."

"It won't matter in the audience?" Obi asked.

Ilena shook her head. "No. Everyone's likely to recognize Master Zen anyway. It would just make sense to them he'd be surrounded by uniforms."

"Why six?" Zen asked. It seemed like a lot.

"Well...because it's a room full of fighters, and because it's mostly for show? High ranking people should show a display of power? They all know you're the master of the Queen. How could I not provide such a thing for you?"

"But they are _my_ guards," Zen protested.

"Yes, and Obi has taken all the guards I would provide for you. Unless you want people you don't know and your personal knights don't either?"

Zen sighed. He really did hate this part of being Regent - though this was because he was Ilena's master, which was a different thing to her. "Fine," he said grumpily and took another drink from his cup and requested a refill.

"I think I'd like mine not in uniform," Shirayuki said. "My friends probably won't care much, but I'll be able to relax a little better."

Zen nodded, approving her request, the head of the detail bowed slightly to him to acknowledge he'd received that order. After a bit of consideration, he sighed. "I guess if it's a display of power and position to the underworld, I'd better have my six in uniform, as much as it's a restriction I don't like." He put his chin on his hand and pouted a bit, though only internally. "Those not on duty don't have to be in uniform."

Ilena nodded, and so did the head guard. Ilena had started in on another braid, more complex than the others. Obi took a look at it. "What's that one?" he asked.

Ilena frowned. "Petroi, he has to know this one, too. That's what he's going up to prove."

"Ah, sorry. We haven't gotten to that one, since he's the only one who's going to wear it, and we just got done with the Seconds." Petroi apologized.

Obi had her turn her head further so he could see it better and Justinian ghosted up to watch as well. "It's the Head of Clan braid," Ilena explained. She finished it and began another one.

"Why do you have two of those and two Seconds?" Justinian asked quietly.

"I have two head of house braids, one for the Family, one for the House. I have a Seconds braid for Obi's house, Falcon's Hollow, as his Steward, and another for Master Zen's house."

"Oh. Is that common in Tarc?"

"Not at all," Ilena answered archly. "I'm the only one, though Obi gets two Seconds, one from me and one from Master Zen."

"Oh. ...Um...I've been practicing braiding Master Obi's hair, but we aren't sure it will get long enough to add in the markers before we go into Tarc." Justinian pointed out the trouble they had with Obi's fairly short hair.

Ilena reached over and turned Obi's head and ran her fingers down the length. She turned to face him, one leg tucked up, and began to braid the Kir'nah. "Hmm, well." She considered his hair with her eyes half closed.

"I think if we could give him half the length of Potroi's hair they'd balance out instead of both look funny," Thayne said with a laugh in his voice.

Ilena looked sharply at Thayne. "We could, but Petroi worked hard to grow his hair that long. We could give you half of mine, though."

Obi looked at Ilena aghast. "Never. I like your hair long. Besides, how would you give me anyone else's hair?"

Ilena reached behind her head and gathered a small section of hairs from the nape of her neck and under the main part of her hair. She measured out a length, then drew her knife and cut that length off and let the hairs fall back to cover the shorter section, though it was still long enough to go a third of the way down her back. "Trade me places, Obi," she said, putting her knife back in its sheath.

Obi was unhappy she had cut even that much of her hair, but it was done, so he stood and switched. Ilena took the section of Obi's hair for the wife's braid in one hand, divided the strands, holding them between the fingers of that hand. Then she placed one smaller part of her hair on top of each of the sections in that hand, holding them together. Suddenly it looked like Obi had shoulder length hair for that section. Going slowly, but with a firm steady hand, she showed Justinian how to braid her hair in with Obi's so it wouldn't slip out, ending with a proper length braid by the time she was done. Because their hair was identical, it really looked like Obi's hair.

Obi reached up and felt along the braid. "That's rather amazing. But it would be terrible to have to take out, have the hair fall all over the place, and have to cut more off for every time we needed to rebraid it. I'd never take them out, you know."

"I suppose you could. It's only a month. It will grow out a bit, and that might be noticeable. But, you'd be sleeping on it and messing it up, so it would be better to rebraid them. Justinian wouldn't lose very many hairs. He's careful."

"I suppose we could use horsehair from the manes and tails," Thayne commented dryly. Obi scowled at him.

"I'll think on it a bit," promised Justinian. "I think this method would be nice."

Ilena nodded, then rubbed Obi's head. He took her hand and kissed it, then continued to hold it, sitting back into his chair. "Well, now that she's given me this much, make sure it always goes in the spouse braid."

Justinian gave him a small smile. "Yes, Master Obi." He bowed slightly to them and sat back in his chair, sipping delicately on his drink with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Princess Ilena," Brian spoke up, "we know that Regent Zen and King Izana have claimed you as their missing cousin...but we don't know your story. May we hear it?"

Ilena raised an eyebrow and looked to Zen and Shirayuki. Shirayuki looked around at all the people who'd been collected since they had been made princesses, and considered it. "I think, ...that just like we needed to know Kirk's story, that it would help the household if everyone understood Ilena's. It would particularly help Julie in her role, I think."

"Well...we don't really have everyone, though," Ilena said slowly. "I think Kiki and Mitsuhide heard it when Obi told it to the Family at the gathering, but Tairn and Dane haven't heard it either, and there are a few others…," she trailed off and looked at Shirayuki.

Shirayuki thought about it some more, then shook her head. "This is a good time, while we're here sitting together. The others can hear it another time."

Ilena sighed. "You want the full story, don't you?" she sounded depressed, in a dramatic sort of way. Shirayuki nodded firmly. "Alright. Obi, you'll help, right? They may as well hear your side, too, since she wants both of us in the household."

Obi sighed. He was just as un-fond of telling his story as she was of hers. "Okay. I'll tell my part. Why don't you get to the landslide, at least?"

 _cut their story - you've read it already multiple times._

Ilena looked at Brian, Kirk, Sam and Leon, her gaze also passing by Julie, Maria, Rutherford, and Justinian, who was sitting upright in shock. The others were sitting soberly, respectful of her and Obi's past pains. "This is our story. I don't like telling it, nor does Obi, I think. It's what has made us, but that doesn't mean we wish to remember it."

Shirayuki blinked. "I think I didn't know half of that, Ilena," she finally said, a bit breathy, "...though Obi told me the part about you being the lost princess from Selicia."

"Have I not told it to you?" Ilena said, though her tone was rather disinterested. "I hope this telling was sufficient."

Shirayuki nodded. Zen reached out and took her hand in his and he rubbed his thumb on the back of it to comfort her. She squeezed his hand back and turned to look at him. "You already knew it?" Zen nodded soberly. Shirayuki looked at him a moment more in her shock, then finally sighed and relaxed. "Thank you for telling it to us, Obi, Ilena," she turned back to them. They nodded soberly at her.

Ilena sighed. "Who ended up with the bottle of port? I am done with wine for the night."

Julie brought it up when it was found and poured it for her. "How much alcohol can you take?"

"An entire bar's full, if my stomach were large enough," Ilena said dryly. "Alcohol is not an escape for me. It is the same for Obi." Julie glanced at Obi and he nodded once, then lifted his glass for some of the port as well, and she poured it, then returned to sit next to Kirk again, shyly taking his hand.

Kirk looked down at their hands and interlaced their fingers. He looked soberly back up at Ilena and Obi. "This is why you are both dark and light." Ilena nodded.

"It is why you're fierce," added Brian. Ilena nodded again.

"It is why you love Princess Shirayuki and Regent Zen," Leon said. Ilena smiled slightly and nodded once more.

Sam sighed. "It is why King Izana has asked me to watch over both Princesses and be immediately obedient to Princess Ilena if she should order me."

Ilena managed to give him a slightly larger smile. "Yes. He knows my actions from the time I came under his notice...probably about the time I was made Steward. That was a thing he would have taken note of - why a seventeen year old girl would all of a sudden be placed in such a position. I'm not sure who he sent to research my background, but I am sure it was very interesting reading for a while. He even decided to have me become a correspondent, though it is infrequent at best now."

"Did you tell him who you were then?" Zen asked curious.

"No. We played the guessing game. You know he likes that kind of entertainment. He wasn't in a hurry to know, after all, so he could afford to have it be a diversion for a while. I also wasn't in a hurry for him to know either, as you well know, so it became for me a game of how long I could keep him from knowing for certain." Ilena paused, then added softly. "I knew he knew when his letters became soft. We didn't communicate for too long after that, though. Things got too busy for both of us after that." She drank another sip of her port, then swirled the glass

Obi ran his hand down her hair and she leaned into it and closed her eyes halfway, then sighed. "Obi, who hasn't Julie seen yet? She saw the Steward earlier when I went to fetch her. She's seen the Princess, falcon, and Queen here. Also Just Ilena, and wife, before we came here. We're still missing Mother, right? Anyone else?"

Obi pet her again, then wrapped his hand into her hair and pulled her back and kissed her. "It doesn't have to be everyone all at once, you know," he scolded her lightly. "She probably isn't even going to know which is which for a while."

"No...I think she needs to see all of them to get the baseline. Then she'll know how to sort each data point."

"It won't be kind."

"Obi…," Ilena rolled her eyes towards Shirayuki and Zen and he released her, but kept his hand on her back. "Mistress Shirayuki, do you think your household needs to see it, or just Julie?"

Shirayuki looked up from her cup, then smiled. "Ilena, that's my favorite part of you."

"Even publicly?" Ilena raised her eyebrow. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you drinking alcohol again, Mistress Shirayuki?" She unfolded herself from Obi and walked over to Shirayuki. "We don't have Kiki and Mitsuhide here, so no one is watching you properly." She took the glass from Shirayuki and sniffed it. "How much have you had already?"

\- Ending C goes here: Shirayuki has NOT been drinking b/c she knows Ilena is still going to test her.

"It's just the one glass, Ilena," Shirayuki said with a smile. "I'm just trying to get my tolerance up, you know."

"No. You really should stop. Please stick to juice only. You have to start very young, and you are past the age for your body to learn it."

"No, really Ilena, I think -"

Ilena cut her off by putting her hands on either arm of her chair and leaning down very closely. "Mistress Shirayuki. If you do not stop drinking alcohol, the next time you do it...I will kiss you very passionately, right on the lips. And I know you will remember it, because you are a drunk that remembers everything. I think it will be a very effective punishment."

Shirayuki put her hand up. "Ah, no I wouldn't like that, I think."

"Then don't do it again." Ilena was very firm.

Shirayuki finally nodded and Ilena stood back up, taking the cup with her. Ilena paused in front of Zen and looked at him very closely. "And how many have you had, including at dinner?"

"Ah, one at dinner and I'm nursing the second one after, so not yet to three," he answered her immediately.

"And will you stop there?" she asked menacingly.

"Yes, Ilena," he answered obediently.

"Thank you, Master Zen," she said firmly. "Please give your cup to me when it's empty."

Zen stared at her, then shut his mouth into a smile and nodded. "Yes, Big Sister."

Ilena nodded once and headed back for Obi, handing him Shirayuki's glass. Obi downed the remaining wine in it so as not to let it go to waste, then blushed. Ilena grinned at him, and leaned down to whisper in his ear, "What? An unexpectedly enjoyable indirect kiss, Obi?"

He blushed harder and glanced over at Zen. He'd heard it also and was trying to hold himself without looking at Obi. Ilena made a show of looking over at Zen, and Shirayuki looked at the three of them, confused. Ilena took the glass back and poured juice into it and took it back to Shirayuki. Zen made a grab for it. Ilena paused with the glass just outside of his reach and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Really, Master Zen? After all these years of telling poor Obi 'no'? You'll finally say 'yes'?" Zen subsided in shock, then could only grind his teeth as Shirayuki took the glass from Ilena and drank from it, thanking her.

As Ilena walked past Zen again, she looked at him with a glint in her eyes. "When she blushes very hard tomorrow morning, tell her it's my gratitude for the lot of you. ...and a reminder warning to not touch the alcohol again."

"Ilena Polov Wisteria," Zen fumed. "I shan't tell her at all."

Ilena looked back at Shirayuki, who was sitting up straight and looking at them. "Then don't. She heard me."

Zen growled at her. "You really are worse than Izana, you know."

Ilena smirked at him. "You've finally remembered."

She walked away from him to return near Obi.

"You didn't need to remember that part of you," he complained.

"Of course I didn't 'just' remember it. Julie very kindly reminded me of it on our walk today. It was quite fun to be reminded that there was one good thing to come out of the formal acceptance." She looked up at him blandly. "I get to test and tease all I want, to my heart's delight." She turned her head regally and looked at him from under her lashes and from the corner of her eyes, "...or punish as necessary. After all, I am now a full Wisteria."

\- Ending B: Obi recognizes the Queen and steps in

Zen groaned. Obi stared at her, aghast. Ilena met his look with the cold neutrality of King Izana. Obi bent his head, put his hand to his eyes and sighed. He held out his other hand, without looking at her, and motioned for her to come to him. When she was near, he pointed to the floor. Ilena paused, then knelt in front of him, her expression sober, her eyes on his covered face. Obi took a breath, then put his hand down and looked her in the eyes.

He had transitioned to Lord Consort and his expression was firm, his eyes hard. "That is enough, Princess Ilena." He clearly emphasised the title. "You have made your displeasure sufficiently understood. You still have an obligation to your Master and your Mistress, and you made me a promise. Do you intend to break it?"

Ilena waited the appropriate time to consider her answer carefully and speak calmly. "No, Obi. I do not."

"What is it, then?" he asked her firmly, his eyes requiring her to continue to hold to her calm and respectful communication requirements.

Ilena took a deep breath, then sat calmly until she had relaxed. Then there was further time for her to put her words together. "The Queen will not go quietly. There is a thing left unsaid, undone, and not understood. It seems dangerous to let it continue to go unsaid at this time."

"Is it true?"

"I believe it to be."

"Can it be said respectfully?"

"Not very well."

"Because it is words from the Queen?"

"Yes."

Obi paused. "Then Ilena must tell them to me."

Ilena considered again. "It is in what I said to you earlier and again now. ...It has been forgotten who I am, and the complacency of that forgetting will tear the fabric of Clarines apart, and Mistress Shirayuki will be destroyed for it - for being allowed to think she can handle a Polov-Wisteria without understanding it."

Obi considered her words carefully. "What have we not understood?" he finally asked.

"It has not been understood, 'Why does Ilena want to learn obedience?' It has been forgotten, 'When is Ilena obedient and to whom?' These things forgotten have led children to believe they can stand with adults."

"What was it you said to me earlier that means this?" Obi asked fairly quickly, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

"I am Izana's rival." Obi remembered that when he had thought of he and Ilena in that sense, it was that they would push each other to greater heights in abilities through competition. That did not seem safe, or sane, on a national scale.

Zen stood from his chair and walked over to stand behind Obi, where he could also see Ilena's eyes. He crossed his arms and looked at her sternly, then nodded shortly, and Obi, looking into Ilena's eyes nodded as well. Ilena turned her gaze to Zen's eyes. Slowly they changed from receptive to piercing depths, but they still held open willingness to communicate. "Ilena is obedient to whom she choses to be obedient to, when she choses to be, or when she has learned it's the proper time to be." Zen answered her. "Tell me, why does Ilena want to learn obedience, other than so that she can face the Lord of Tarc?"

"So that Ilena does not become ruthless and cold hearted. So that Ilena has the desire to become Queen subdued sufficiently that she doesn't topple the current rulership of Clarines. Only if there is sufficient strength before her can she be willing to be silent and not take that which she has the capacity to take and rule over well. Mistress Shirayuki and Julie are insufficient and insignificant. If only Izana is before Ilena, then Ilena only sees a rival to overcome. Master Zen still needs to learn further strength, even still, for having forgotten. Obi and Leah need to be punished for having forgotten, though they were kind in their thoughts. This is the complacency. There is none to restrain the Queen today, save Ilena."

Obi felt a shiver go down his spine and Zen stiffened behind him.

Ilena opened her mouth again, then snapped it shut, disallowing the words to come out. Zen rewarded her with his eyes briefly, then went back to his original firmness. "What is Shirayuki lacking? Why is she insufficient?"

"Shirayuki has a strong will and strong desires, but she lacks the subtle handling of the master player, completely lacks a board - though she is gathering her pieces, and has no capacity to stand between myself and Izana as our equal. It should have been obvious to her at the beginning that I already knew when she wanted my obedience. Because I was able to push her all the way to anger again, she has learned nothing. Julie is irrelevant, therefore, in this matter."

Obi shifted slightly and Zen nodded. "Is this why you said you would rather have Mistress stand before you directly?"

Ilena nodded. "Then I would be able to teach her directly, or she would have the opportunity to learn it."

Zen thought for a moment. "Can Shirayuki learn it?"

Ilena was silent until he gave her permission to speak. "I think Master Zen and Mistress Shirayuki should spend hours thinking over and coming to an agreement on _if_ she _should_."

* * *

 _When_ _I used ending B, and Obi nipped the Queen in the bud early I was able to continue further in the story, but in gong back and re-reading just this section, I realized that Ilena had given (me) the same warning multiple times throughout it. With that many warnings, it just had to go. At this point Shirayuki still isn't ready to stand before Ilena like this. Just her own reaction to her thought that, "...'I do understand that to take you as my own is nearly equivalent to telling King Izana he must answer to me.' While she recognized it to be true, her own heart quailed just saying the name she most feared in such a blasphemous way," said it as well. She may have reached the point of knowing that some day soon she'll have to control Ilena, at this time she isn't there. To force it shut down the story flow._

 _Rewriting this section took out the Court of the First Princess, so that part of the weaving had to be redone, and we don't see as much interaction with Julie as I would have liked, therefore. It also took out the 'indirect kiss' and Izana-like teasing Ilena is perfectly capable of but we don't see much in The Missing Princess because she is working hard to be good. This cut version shows her Royal Dark Moon side rather well._


	15. Little Cat (Shidan's Song)

[T] _*Book 3 Spoiler - Wait until you've read up through The Missing Princess, Book 3: Regent of Wilant, Chapter 25, if you don't want it to be a spoiler.*_

 **LITTLE CAT**  
 **(Shidan's Song)**

In Lyrias, the university town in the frozen northwest corner of the Kingdom of Clarines, a girl entered the city. The city, in general didn't take much notice. There were lots of girls, some even coming and going. This one could have been here for her whole life as far as the city and its natural denizens were concerned. There was a subset, however, that sat up and took notice. To them, this girl meant a bit more.

-o-o-o-

The little draft that meant the door had opened passed Shidan's ankles. He waited, but there was no noise. He took two steps back from his desk on the opposite side of the herb cabinet to the left of that door and leaned backwards to look around it. "Can I help you?" he raised eyebrows at the waif standing just inside the door. She was tense, as if ready to spring right back out the door.

"Um...ah...," she blinked, as if trying to find the right words, or even just her mind again. Shidan came out from behind the cabinet, then leaned back on it casually. He'd already learned from his mentors how to get patients to relax. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his lab coat and didn't look at her directly, choosing to look down at his shoes while he kept his attention more or less on her.

Her straight black hair was about to just below her shoulder-blades. She had a regal bearing, if she wasn't petrified at the moment. He was pretty sure she was a stray, just blown into his door with the wind. He had a bad habit of adopting stray cats like this one. This one needed a figurative bath, her demeanor was so grey. She hadn't come here from a good home, if he was right and she was collared. He waited for the proof of it.

She drew in a breath, closed her eyes, tamped down her fear, then looked at him in the eye. Yup. Collared. He raised his head and granted her the same respect of eye contact, but remained patient, keeping the neutral friendly look of the medical practitioner on his face. "Teach me. ...Please."

That was a bigger request than he'd expected. Usually it was "poultice for ma, please", or "boyfriend troubles". This one was actually asking to be adopted. He wondered for how long. He pushed to his feet and walked up to her, crossing his arms. His tall six foot two inches loomed over her, but she didn't flinch. Her ears went back, but her eyes only held firm in her resolve. "How much do you already know?"

She hesitated. "Not enough. Patchy."

She was honest anyway. "I can't teach you."

"Thank you."

He walked away, she followed him. He turned and looked at her in surprise halfway across the room. She'd been scanning the drawers. "Your _arusula astazanthas_ is molding," she commented to him.

He glanced up at the top row of the nearly one and a half story cabinet next to them. "Prove it."

She was up the cabinet and back down, the appropriate drawer in hand before he could be concerned about her methods of getting there. She handed the drawer to him. She was...surprisingly correct. He had an instant suspicion. "Fix it," he ordered. She turned her head to the left and right, took three lightly bounding steps, like a year-old kitten might, further into the room, turned towards the correct storeroom and disappeared.

He counted seconds until she reappeared. She showed him a cleaned drawer with the moldy herb tossed out and clean, properly dried herb in it. He took the drawer from her, made sure it was the right plant and handed the drawer back. He nodded and she was up the cabinet and back down. It had taken less than five minutes total...and she'd never stepped foot into the massive storeroom ever, as far as he knew. He pointed to his own nose. She blushed slightly, then nodded.

Shidan looked up at the ceiling. "Why the 'thank you'?"

"You said 'can't' not 'won't'."

He looked at her. She wasn't young, wasn't old, probably mid-teens-ish. A little early to be starting at the university, but not by much. Already lean and strong, based on her climbing skills, not enough to eat, the fear and wariness of the cat that got tossed out or beaten too much on her. Shidan sighed.

"Learn the cabinets first. Names of the herbs are on the front label." He held up his hand before she moved which she was already twitching to do, then pointed with that hand to the _ladder_ , which was the appropriate way to go up and down the cabinets and gave her a stern look. She looked chagrined, then bobbed her head and was up the ladder to start at the first 'A' herb on the corner. Shidan watched her read a label very carefully, then open the drawer and sniff the herb and inspect the leaf, stem, flower, etc. to learn it's look as well. When she had moved to the next drawer and he was satisfied, he walked back to his desk and his research.

"Please re-write this label. It has faded and not been properly seen to." A drawer was dumped next to him. He learned quickly to keep up with her as he had to pause a half hour later to clean the drawers off his desk to keep working. As the labels were completed, the drawer was taken away. When he realized he was writing a label for 'N', which was the set of cabinets on the right of the door, he stood up and carried it back himself. She dropped back to the floor, foregoing the rungs of the ladder, to stand respectfully in front of him. He handed her the drawer. She carefully read what he'd written. He could see her working out each letter separately. As soon as she had the words, though, she was up the ladder and putting it away...exactly where it belonged.

"Come down." He didn't want another drawer just yet. She obeyed, dropping directly again. He walked back to the A-M section and found all of his newly and thus darker printed labels, scanning quickly. All of them were correctly placed. He walked the whole cabinet back to the wall. Everything was where it belonged. Staying there, he said. "Fetch me ' _Coeleus Ranthasmus'_." She was off and back again, hampered by having to drag the ladder back to 'C', but otherwise knew exactly where she was going. "Fever with bloating. Giving water causes bloody vomit. Tincture with alcohol five minutes for each year of age until fifteen, then fifteen minutes maximum for ages over that." He looked at her.

"How many grams?" she asked.

His eyes crinkled slightly. "Three leaves."

"Not," she scoffed. "How many grams."

Shidan nodded. She understood the necessity for precise measures. "Three for children up to ten, four for that above."

She was thoughtful. "Why doesn't that make it too strong for the ten to fifteen year olds?" He raised an eyebrow at her, making her work it out. She furrowed her brow, going over the instruction again, then looked at him slightly triumphantly. "How much alcohol?"

Shidan smiled at her, rewarding her. "Four drams for up to ten, five above that."

She nodded, then repeated the name, description, full usage and dosing of the herb...without looking at the drawer in her hands. He nodded. She held still until he flicked his fingers at her. She was back at the ladder and putting the drawer away and back in front of him. He put his fingers to his chin, considering her. "Do you already have a research topic?"

She looked at him soberly, then nodded, once, a solemn nod. A stray cat with a purpose. "How long do you have?"

She paused, shifted, "Until the end of the Lord's Conference."

Shidan raised an eyebrow. "Can you do it?"

The stubborn look was on her face again. "I will."

Shidan looked at the cabinets. She'd already done in half a day what it took most apprentice and student pharmacists nearly two weeks to do. This was the largest pharmacy in all of Clarines, and the entire region of Kingdoms around, though he still had to teach her all the uses. He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm going to have to rattle it all off to you, aren't I? You can't read fast enough."

She looked at the floor, her hands clasped behind her and a toe tapped the floor behind her other foot. "Yes, please."

Shidan sighed. That would take up a lot of _his_ time. "How about we alternate. I'll rattle off as much as you read."

"Only if it's time-wise, not volume."

The corner of his lips twitched. A negotiator at that. "I forget to eat."

"I'll remember."

"I like tea mid-afternoon."

"Teach me to make it."

"Will you fall asleep in the middle of the night here or do you have to get back every night?"

She paused. "Sometimes I'll get called back, but most of the time, the former."

He stuck out his hand, palm up. "All right, Little Cat, you can stay."

She cautiously and shyly put her hand his hand. He lifted the paw...ah, hand...to his lips. She smelled like horses, trees, dust, and fighting men. The latter was what he was looking for. She was from a nightwalker House. When he stood up he looked into her eyes and held her hand captive. "Is it an order?"

She looked at him, her eyes going deep and unfocused. "It's to protect those who I can protect."

"They'll let you choose it?"

She shrugged, tossing away the requirement. "If they want to think it's for them, that suits my needs."

He wanted to pull her to him and hold her tightly. He wanted to shove her out the door and disavow this morning. He let go of her hand. "Go finish the cabinets." She was off again.

He was just a bit disturbed as he walked back to his desk. This was a collared stray from an angry House...who was going to tear it down some day. He hoped for her sake it didn't destroy her first. Maybe if he gave her warm milk and a soft lap for a bit, she'd have the strength to win in the end. Sometimes feeding them that way when young made all the difference.

-o-o-o-

In a week she had the cabinets, the storerooms, the bookshelves, the teas he liked and when and for what mood, the mealtimes, the scoldings all memorized. It took longer to get the uses of the herbs down, but he learned to rattle them off as he taught her how to use the tools of the trade. She'd started learning anyway on the basics watching him (Head Pharmacist of Lyrias University) and the other students treat those who came daily. He'd had to train her to the rest of the tools out of self defence...or rather tool defense. Some were rather delicate. Not that she didn't have a soft hand - she did - she just didn't know when she needed one. He set all the students to teaching her the methods of mixing the more difficult things in the middle of the second week and by the end of the third week she was happily engaged in her own research, to his uttermost relief, since it meant he could get back to his own.

She was nagging him, yet again, to go and bathe and shave (she kept at it once per week, minimum), when he had a minor epiphany. He stood up from his stool at his desk and started unbuttoning his lab coat. She seemed to settle, since it looked like he was being obedient to her nag, though she watched him to make sure he really was being obedient. He tossed the coat over his stool, then grabbed her collar. One-handed, he undid her lab coat buttons until she had fled with it still in his hand, breathing hard four steps away. He tossed her lab coat on the stuffed chair she slept in that was set on the other side of a side table from the curtained couch he slept on, heaping piles of books sliding together set in between and around them.

He held out his hand to her. "You're coming with me, this time." She looked at him wide-eyed. He looked at her impatiently. "It isn't a mixed sex bath house. You're coming."

Understanding came across her face and cautiously she gave him her paw. He held it softly, but so she couldn't escape until they reached the door to the pharmacy. He turned the place over to his assistant and moved his hand to her shoulder, keeping her with him firmly, and let them out into the great library of the university. Moving through it, they reached the outside, where it was raining the mist of the early fall rains here that presaged the late fall wet snows. They automatically turned up their collars to keep the water from dripping down their backs. "Stay with me," he ordered. She nodded and stayed next to him, occasionally dropping back because of his long strides, then that light bounding from the first day to catch up.

Shidan didn't go straight to the bath house. His epiphany was that she was still wearing the same clothing she'd arrived in. They first went to a clothing shop and he waved over the proprietess. He looked at her with his 'look' and a nod at Little Cat. The proprietess knew him and what he wanted. She gave him a secret smile, Little Cat a once over, and disappeared. Little Cat wandered here at the front edge of the store for a bit until the proprietess arrived with a wrapped package. Shidan thanked her and ushered Little Cat back out the door.

He handed her the package as they walked away, this time actually headed for the bath house. "Put that on when you're clean."

She held it out away from her and looked at it frowning. Looking back up at him suspiciously she asked, "It isn't something strange is it?"

Shidan hid his smile. "No, of course not. You have to uphold the image of the university and the most respected pharmacy of this part of the world. Or have you not noticed that everyone passing by knows me?"

Little Cat rolled her eyes. "Of course, I've noticed _that_. That doesn't mean you're not a closet pervert, though."

He looked at her and wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Maybe I _am?_ "

She giggled. He stared at her. He hadn't seen that before. She actually looked nice when she smiled - not so dusty and grey. "Not likely, if that's what you think one's supposed to look like." He noticed she pulled the package to her chest and held it with both hands and arms, clutched to her. He watched her. She was looking around, her eyes flickering from place to place, person to person, stopping sometimes here and there. As he paid attention, the times she paused, so did the person she was looking at. Then they moved off with purpose and her eyes were flickering here and there again.

He would have thought, with most nightwalkers, that they would have been watching her and her footsteps, but this looked more like what he had seen glimmers of that first day. She was the one in control, at some level. She was collared, had a master, but she was high in the rankings. He mused on that for a moment, then started looking behind them from the corners of his eyes, particularly when she would fall behind. He didn't say anything before they made it to the bath house, just observed. "When you're done, wait for me here," he pointed to one end of the covered porch were several bathers and those waiting to bathe, were paused, waiting for the rain, or for friends. She looked up at him, solemn again, and nodded.

Shidan purposely took his time. First to see who might have followed him in that was keeping an eye on Little Cat. There was only one, and he didn't put on airs or give out threat. Just an observer, making sure she was learning what she was supposed to, then, and that she was kept safe, probably, if the House cared that much, which they usually didn't. When he felt clean, and that she might be already waiting on him, he took his time drying off and getting dressed. He took himself quietly out of the bath house and to the opposite end of the covered porch from where he'd told her to wait. He leaned on the wall and watched her, where he wouldn't be obvious.

She was sitting up on the railing, not surprising for a stray cat. She looked better for having been cleaned and wearing new clothes that were more flattering than what she'd been wearing. She'd come in pants and the proprietess, who knew Shidan's strays well by now, had supplied the same. These were an almost formal black, weren't too flowy, but were still nicely tailored. The shirt was a grey and the over-jacket was black with grey piping. It worked well with her black hair, sleek now with the water from the bath. This was _much_ better. He could even see her tail curled up in a pleased manner next to her, and her face and ears were lively and interested in the world around her. Still wary - all strays were and that didn't go away easily, but much more calm and lively.

He noticed that her attention was caught and she appeared amused. He followed her gaze and saw a boy, a few years younger up in a tree not too far away from her. His medium-length light brown hair was wavy, and his eyes were glued to her. He swore they were communicating, though they didn't talk. Shidan studied the boy. He was collared, too, but differently. He was leashed, too, and she held the other end, he was sure of it, they way they looked at each other. The boy was telling her to be more careful, watch out for herself. She was telling him it was a vacation day and she'd be okay. Different House, someone who cared for her. Shidan felt better for that, knowing someone did care for her other than himself.

The boy looked like he needed a bath, too, though. Dusty brown instead of her grey. Shidan walked smoothly to stand next to Little Cat. The boy tensed but stayed still since Shidan wasn't looking directly at him, though he was facing him. Little Cat looked up into Shidan's eyes, comfortable enough with him now to not cringe at him getting that close. Quietly he said, "He's yours. Call him for me." Her eyes widened and she froze for just a moment. He looked at her calmly. "He's dirtier than you."

"If I move from this place he won't stay." She finally answered warily, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Fine. I'm not in a hurry, so much."

"Meaning you are, but you want to see he's cared for, too."

Shidan raised an eyebrow, "Then that means you're already wasting my time?"

She opened her mouth slightly, but otherwise didn't move, even to look away from Shidan. The boy slipped off the branch and hit the ground in the nightrunner's three-point landing, like Little Cat regularly dropped off the ladder in the Pharmacy. The boy nervously approached them. When he was just close enough, Shidan flipped a coin at him and gestured with his head at the entrance to the bath, then snapped. The boy straightened and gave the hint of a bow and was gone.

Shidan watched him without moving his head until the boy was inside. He stepped back and leaned against the wall of the bath house and put his eyes back on Little Cat, crossing his arms again, like the first day. She tipped her head and looked at him with a curious wondering look. He kept his face in the kindly, closed expression he'd memorized for patients again, not giving anything away. When she didn't get what she wanted, she sighed and leaned her head back against the pillar she was leaning against. Her balance was fantastic.

"You've washed up well. She did a good job with the selection, too. Like it?" he asked conversationally.

"Yes, thank you." Gratitude, but almost expectation. Shidan's face twitched, wondering how it was that she could expect any pharmacist to just up and buy outfits for girls and give them without reward. She was looking out over the passers-by again, a little wrinkle on her face.

"Problem?" he asked.

It took a bit for her to come back. "Not you need worry about," she answered, not unkindly, just informationally.

"If it takes you away from your studies, it does," he answered, surprised she'd been willing to admit she was in communication with others around them, though since he'd called the boy, maybe she was just admitting he had enough street smarts to figure it out.

She shot him an amused look. "Already attached, are you?"

He snorted back at her. Not like he'd ever admit it when she was a stray. "You're the one with the time limit. Are you keeping up properly?"

Her eyes went distant, calculating. "Yeah, I think so. I've got a sticky problem coming up. Can I pry you out of yours in another day or so?"

He thought about what his answer _should_ be. "You will anyway," he answered dryly. Honestly, he didn't want to see her have to go. She had the sharpest mind he'd ever had the pleasure to work with, on par with the professors he worked with, though she still needed proper training because of her age being equivalent to less experience. ...And, as far as he knew she had only been in the university environment for three weeks.

"Yeah, but I'm giving you advance warning this time," she grinned at him. He soaked it up. Bringing her out of the pharmacy had been the right thing to do. That was twice now she'd lit up.

"So...is it going to interfere?"

"What?" she played innocent and forgetful. Shidan knew better. She didn't forget anything. He narrowed his eyes at her, not letting her play that game. She smirked at him, then looked away, thoughtful. "Not today," she finally answered.

"Good. I want to just have an uninterrupted afternoon off, and you need one, too. Think you can convince your underlings to make it happen?"

She turned and looked at him directly in the eyes now that he had just come out and said it. He continued to stare expectantly in her eyes, waiting for an answer. Her look was _so_ cat-regal it-isn't-me-I-didn't-do-it-what-are-you-talking-about regal. He waited for it. He was rewarded. He even got the slow blink. He grinned. She turned her head and let out a spurt of a laugh. He was next to her, turning her head to look at it, his eyes sparkling. She stared up at him. "Really, Shidan? It means that much to you?" The look in her eyes was teasing as well, but also...something else.

He casually let her go. "It means you're healing, Little Cat. Doesn't that make all medical practitioners relieved?" He leaned back against the railing she was sitting on, his senses on alert having his back to all the nightwalkers she was talking to. He crossed his arms again, refusing to show what was inside. He shouldn't have touched her. He'd won a point then immediately lost it. But he so wanted to see that laugh. It was the first one ever out of her.

"Hmm...I suppose so," she put her cheek down on her raised knee to look sideways out at the world passing by the bath house. Her hair fell down in slow sections.

He turned and put his hands on the railing, leaning on them so they didn't do anything else they weren't supposed to. She was _his_ cat, while she was here at the university, and he suddenly wanted to pet her to reward her for finally relaxing with him. Not a good idea when he was twenty-three and she was only fourteen, and they were in public. Not to mention his station as the youngest Head Pharmacist of the Lyrias University and he'd only held it for less than a year. He didn't need to be sent away in disgrace because of appearances.

"So...was there any other reason you picked pharmacy?" he asked, mostly for a topic of conversation while they waited.

There was a pause and he wondered if there was actually an answer to it. There didn't have to be, her current one was pretty ambitious. "Little Ryuu," she finally said. She turned her head to put her chin on her knee and one hand reached up to rub the tip of her nose with the palm. He watched her. Even those little moves were so cat-like. "He loves herbs and plants. At five he could already draw them just seeing them once in the field. His mom had the usual two 'how to care for your family' herbologies. They were so worn with his reading them over and over, even though he had every page memorized after one look."

She blinked, seeing the time she'd spent with Little Ryuu. "I think he just loved that there was that kind of knowledge to be had. When he wasn't looking at the books, he was teasing the grannies for stories and more information or wandering around the gardens and woods, just touching plants and exploring them. Then he'd come back and draw on paper with his pens, laying out on the ground, writing his notes about how they felt, smelled, how they had changed from the day or week before." She looked away. "I loved to watch him work. We had a lot of fun together."

She looked up into Shidan's eyes, without moving her head. "I want him. I wish I could bring him to be with me, but...," she looked away again, her eyes sad, "I'm not where I can do that, yet. He's a young plant who still needs all the light he can get. As I'm sure you've figured out, given all of the clues you're handing me, I'm in a dark place still." She glanced at him with a wry smirk, then looked away again. Shidan chose to not comment on it, since it was true.

"Would he come here?" Shidan asked, offering. He wasn't prepared for the nasty dark look he got from her and he pulled back just a little.

"No. I won't let this place destroy him. I won't tell you." She looked away again, distant once again.

He frowned, not liking that distance, and not really understanding it. "I won't 'take' him. It was just an offer." She didn't move, or relent. Shidan looked up at the overhang of the balcony and sighed. He reached out the closer hand and lightly grabbed a lock of hanging hair, tugging on it lightly. "Hey. It looks like you've got painful history. I'll listen."

She didn't look at him for the longest time. Finally she said, as she leapt off the balcony railing for the outside, "Let's just say I'm only here because it's the only place I can come to _._ " He watched over his shoulder as she leapt up in the tree, swinging up easily, to take the seat her boy had been in. She folded her arms and wouldn't look at him. Shidan sighed and took her place, leaning against the post with one leg up on the railing so he could watch both her and the door for the boy to come back out. When cats closed up like that there was nothing to do but wait for them to pretend they've forgotten the conversation ever happened.

The boy came out a little while later, looking at Shidan suspiciously. Shidan kept his eye on him and tipped his head towards the tree. When the boy settled for seeing Little Cat, Shidan motioned for him to come over, crooking his finger. Cautiously the boy made his way over and stood close enough they could have a conversation, of sorts, but not close enough to be grabbed suddenly. Shidan blinked at him. The boy looked away. Both of them saying they weren't threats to each other.

"If you're the Bodyguard, you can't stand so far back she gets attacked before you can get to her. She'll claw you if you're too close. Find a better distance. Preferably the proper one. You also can't do a proper job if you stay outside the university door. If you haven't got your eyes on her, you're not her bodyguard, you're just someone hanging out worrying." The boy whipped his head up to oggle at Shidan. Shidan just looked at him soberly back. "...Are you serious about being the bodyguard?" The boy nodded enthusiastically. Shidan rose from his seat. "Then I expect you to be in the proper position from now on... including in the Pharmacy."

Shidan walked towards the steps, not looking at the boy again. He was pretty sure he'd picked up a shadow, though. He walked to stand under the tree, his arms still folded. "Come on down, Little Cat. Time to move on." He stared at her until she got that he meant mentally and physically. She relented, but didn't let down her guard, and dropped down from the tree to walk next to him again.

This time, he led them to the street of eateries. It was a little early for dinner, but not too early. Just right to beat the rush for tables, really. For a bit, he kept half an eye on the boy, making sure he was figuring out how close he was really supposed to walk. Once he seemed to get it, Shidan ignored him in favor of calculating which place he could afford to take the two of them. It wasn't that he couldn't afford most things, since he rarely ever spent money except on his research and his position paid handsomely enough. It was that the boy was already shivering with excitement at the thought he might be getting a 'free' meal. Shidan wasn't interested in paying for five or six when he had only anticipated two.

He sighed. It'd have to be the Stock Pot then. Free refills on soup bowls big enough to calm most appetites. Boys like this one could put away two and sometimes tried for a third. They were filling and contained all the necessary nutrition for scholars who didn't pay enough attention to their bodily needs. That kind of thing worked for street kids who starved more often than they ate. He personally would have preferred a nicer place today. He shrugged slightly to himself and headed that direction. He was distracted by Little Cat's head turning all directions at once. Her nose must have caught the scent of something.

She sidestepped into him, pushing his direction of movement. Since he was watching her at the time, he wasn't caught off guard and he smoothly sidestepped the direction she wanted him to go. There was a flash of movement and the Bodyguard had someone on the ground behind them that had passed through the space they had been in the moment before. Little Cat grabbed Shidan's sleeve and pulled him forward, keeping him moving, though not at a run. They dodged a few more along the way, Shidan being obliging, the Bodyguard taking people down as they went until they reached the door to the Stock Pot. Little Cat turned around at the doorstep and scanned the crowd, carefully looking to see if the crowd in general had noticed overly much. Shidan was listening to the other side of the door, his hand on the handle. When she shoved at him, lightly with both hands to shoo him in, he turned the handle, then grabbed hold of the Bodyguard and shoved him in first. When hands reached out to grab the Bodyguard, one knee was kicked hard by the Bodyguard and the other person had Shidan's hand around his throat. "Yield yet?" Shidan asked, a calm eyebrow raised.

His opponent raised both hands and nodded. Shidan carefully let him go. "Little Cat, call them off," he said not looking away. "You didn't _ask_ if I wanted to participate."

She froze, then slumped repentantly. "Sorry." He could feel the wave she made and the two assailants disappeared.

Shidan looked at her sternly, then proceeded to scold her gently. She took it humbly. When he was satisfied, he looked at the boy. "Think you've got it yet, Bodyguard?"

He was staring at Shidan in awe. "Ah, yes, sir, Mister Shidan, sir."

Shidan snorted a soft laugh. "I'm not a knight. Don't 'sir' me that much. 'Mister Shidan' is enough." He led them to his favorite table, open since they were early. He was right. The boy ate three bowls. He wasn't prepared for the fact that Little Cat would eat two, but he'd come here so they could, so he didn't complain. Between them they probably went through two loaves of bread, too. They also relaxed, and that was better.

-o-o-o-

Shidan had been surreptitiously watching the interplay between Little Cat and Bodyguard for the last hour. Bodyguard had been doing well so far, standing quietly as he should where he could both see Little Cat and get to her if he needed to, but not in her personal space where she would claw him. He'd learned that distance fast the first day he was with them. This was the second. Bodyguard fidgeted again and again Little Cat glanced up at him from the book in her lap she was struggling to read with a scowl on her face until he settled. When the fidgeting started again, Shidan interrupted, "Bodyguard, if you've got something you need to say, she probably needs to hear it. Don't hold back when it's important." He had slipped his finger into his book to hold his place.

The boy started and looked at Shidan. Shidan looked at him, waiting. The boy finally gulped and nodded. He turned to Little Cat. "Missus, it's almost two hours past lunch. You really should eat."

Little Cat gaped at Bodyguard. Shidan walked past behind her, thumping his book lightly on the top of her head. "It's good to hear you get a taste of your own medicine," he said lightly. "Whatever happened to 'I'll remember', I wonder?" He headed over to make the tea, ignoring the outraged look on her face and the gratitude on the boy's. He wasn't so sure he liked having decided to become teacher in another way, but...somehow it felt like as the current adopted owner of Little Cat he should at least be providing in that way for her.

There was the general clinking of dishes as Little Cat prepared the light lunch, which was now for three. Shidan made the rest of the Pharmacy staff get their own since he was lazy and Little Cat was his, and Bodyguard was hers. He was pretty famous for his negligence, selfishness, and general laziness. It didn't bother Shidan. It meant the others actually learned how to really be Pharmacists, which was what he was supposed to be teaching them, and really, it was only that from the perspective of the students. The faculty and the Dean understood what he was doing and how deep his commitment to the Pharmacy really was.

As they ate, Shidan said, "Okay, Little Cat, you've reached your road block, what is it?" When she started where she'd probably left in the book she was reading, he stopped her. "No, you have to bring us up to speed. Start with the summary from the beginning. That will let us know if you got derailed earlier than you think you did. Teach it to Bodyguard, who's never heard it before and has no idea how Pharmacy works. If you can't explain it so he understands it you don't know it well enough yourself yet."

Little Cat considered it after an impatient huff, nodded, then thought harder, trying to go back to the beginning, and then to put it into simple terms. By the time they were done eating it looked like she was ready to attempt it. They sat around the little table until the normal dinner hour (they were behind two now from the late lunch), Shidan helping her with commentary she called unhelpful to get it into simple enough terms until Bodyguard understood and asked the simple question that made Little Cat's eyes spring open wide. Shidan enjoyed the expression for the long moment it stayed. Little Cat finally blinked a few times, looked at Shidan and said absently, "Thank you very much, Teacher Shidan. Excuse me," and she disappeared back into her notes, scribbling very quickly.

Shidan looked at the boy and smiled. "I'm sorry, but for your reward, you get to do dishes," Shidan stood and walked back to his own research, then called over his shoulder, "and make dinner." The boy groaned, but rose obediently to his tasks. He was rather gentle and affable, really. It made his absolute precise putting down of the teaching thugs rather an odd contrast. Made him a good bodyguard...or assassin, but Shidan wasn't going to tell him that. Bodyguard was good enough.

-o-o-o-

For two days Little Cat hadn't slept. Every time Shidan passed her lab desk, she was bent over it, working hard. The research and thinking were done now and it was the putting the theory to practice time. She'd been making steady headway until that two days ago. She was stuck again, and this time Shidan and Bodyguard couldn't help except with moral support. It was beyond them, though they had both tried. Shidan paused, his teacup in his hand as he considered her back. This was the hardest part of being a researcher - when the physical material just wouldn't cooperate with the numbers and the theory. Sometimes one stir too much would ruin the experiment. Sometimes it was too much of one compound.

All of the problems had only one solution. Try, try, and try again. Vary the process, the ingredient amounts, the external parts like heat and cooling, even material the pots were made of, little by little until you finally found the right combination. It was long and grueling. All researchers knew about this phase and started it with stout hearts, but when it went on too long, it would grind down anyone. This was Little Cat's first time. Shidan's brow furrowed. ...And she was a perfectionist. Good for getting the right details figured out, bad for your mental health in this phase.

He waited. When the experiment failed again and she was sitting with her hands clenched with utter frustration, he walked up and set his teacup next to her and put both hands to either side of her, enclosing her under him. Not quite a hug, but close enough. "Take a deep breath and let it out, three times," he said quietly.

She complied. The first one was angry and hissed, in and out. The second one was full bodied frustration, whooshing as it went in and out in long breaths. The third was was quiet resignation, calming. Her hands unclenched slowly and she just breathed for a few more breaths, then wobbled. Shidan chuckled. "I thought so. No experiment goes right when your hands are unsteady, your eyes crossed, and your mind sleeping even if your eyes are open. Come on. Even six hours, or four, will keep you going at this phase. Don't neglect the sleep or it will take longer to get the results you need. This step takes the most patience." He helped her up, half-lifting her under one arm. He steered her to her chair, then changed his mind. He settled her on his bed and covered her with a blanket. She would do better if her body got to _really_ rest.

Four hours later, when Shidan was ready to sleep, he arrived at his bed completely having forgotten he'd put her there. He turned to the chair and found Bodyguard sleeping in it, watching over her from there. Shidan's brow furrowed as he looked between them. Finally Shidan walked over to Little Cat and tucked her blanket firmly around her, wrapping one side around her an extra turn and tucking it in, too, so she was completely bundled. She didn't stir. He wasn't too surprised. He grabbed up the third blanket and crawled into the bed on the inside of it from her, settled her back against his chest and covered himself, then wrapped his free arm around her arms. He didn't want her punching him when she woke up. She had wicked claws.

Wiggling and struggling woke him up. "Shush," he said in her ear quietly. "Bodyguard's in the chair. You needed sleep, and it was my turn for it, too. You're trapped so you know I haven't done anything to you, and so that you don't do anything to me. I'm not interested in having my face clawed and bleeding and my nose broken."

Little Cat held still. Sullenly she said, "I wouldn't."

He snorted a breath that blew past her ear, making a shorter tuft of hair lift and settle slowly. "Right. Go back to sleep."

She held still, then very embarrassed said quietly, "I need to pee."

Shidan laughed silently. "Fine, but you have to come back and sleep more." He helped unwrap her blanket so she could get up. "Do you promise you won't attack me?"

"Yes," still sullen, then she was gone. Shidan rolled over and promptly fell back to sleep. Researchers learned it as a survival technique. He was slightly wakened when she returned. She was obviously uncomfortable, but wanted to be obedient. She slipped into the bed finally and covered herself with her blanket. He stayed half asleep, just wanting to be sure she really did as she needed to do. He was about back to sleep when she rolled over, gently took the back of his shirt in her hand to hold it tightly and cuddled into his back. When he didn't move, she sighed and relaxed back into sleep. Shidan took a while to fall back to sleep after that. He felt warm all over. He would have never guessed that the wild stray had come to rely on him that much, and he wanted to enjoy the reward.

-o-o-o-

"But Shidan! I only have just over one more month. How can I get the written part done in time if I can't even get the experiments to work right?" The tears poured down Little Cat's face.

Shidan sighed, then took her hand and pulled her up off her stool. He led her, still crying too hard to see where she was going, until he could sit in the stuffed chair. He dropped the book in it on the table next to it, sat, and pulled her into his lap sideways to hold her. She tucked her head onto his shoulder and curled up. He just held her and waited, relaxing himself. Even he was frustrated now. She really had been trying everything, had been meticulous in her recording, and had retried everything twice already. He was holding her for two reasons. One was to comfort her and help them both relax a bit. The second was to protect her.

When she was calm enough to listen to him, and he felt prepared enough, though this part was never something one ever could really be prepared for since it was so painful, he said quietly, "Little Cat, you need to keep trying. Go back to the beginning again. Go slowly. Make sure you didn't miss something in the research. Carefully compare the beginning and each step to what you've actually done now. Sometimes something we didn't understand fully during the research phase comes out in the action phase. Write the initial draft of the final report as you go, since you're re-reading the basic works again anyway. That way you're doing both at once. Carefully compare what you write to what you read to make sure you don't reverse data or steps. Have Bodyguard read it with you as you go. A different pair of eyes on it can catch things you don't. When you have the rough draft bring it to me and I'll go over it carefully and see if experienced eyes can see something you've missed."

She shivered and it got worse until she hit him in the chest. He grabbed the offending limb and held it down so it couldn't damage him further. "Damn you!" she said. "You _know_ I can't read that fast...and I can't write so anyone else can read either! How is that supposed to help me?!" Her rage soared and Shidan held her tightly. The curses from her lips were blistering and in multiple languages. He'd have to ask later and see if she'd tell him which ones she knew. He already knew she'd been born out of the country. Her soft accent had always captivated his ear. Today, his ear wasn't so pleased.

"Missus Ilena," Bodyguard crouched down in front of them and put his hand on her arm. It was the first time Shidan had heard her name and he tucked it into his brain along with all his other rewards. He deserved that one for this punishment he didn't deserve. "Please. I'll write it for you. You just tell me what needs to go down and I'll do that part, and read it back so you can know if I've done it right." Shidan gave Bodyguard a grateful look. Little Cat quit fighting, but still was very upset.

Shidan sighed. "I'll read it for you. You have to do the work of picking out what needs to be included and is important. I won't tell you." He'd have to put his own research on hold for the next month for her to be done in time.

She immediately froze, completely understanding that herself. "I - I can't ask that of you Shidan. It - it isn't right. You have your own -"

He put his finger on her lips, still holding onto the hand that had damaged him. "It's only a month. I'm here for years and years to come. Give me today to put everything into a state it can be on hold that long. Collect the works you need again and put them into order. Make sure you have all the scribing tools Bodyguard needs and everything is fresh and new so we don't have to stop for more supplies in the middle of the work. We will still sleep and eat properly to make sure the mind can function, or we'll make mistakes you can't afford."

She relaxed, then nodded. He let her hand go and she threw her arms around his neck, surprising him. "Thank you, Shidan," she said in his ear, squeezing him tightly.

He tenderly put his arms around her and patted her back. "We'll get through it together, the three of us. That's enough hands and eyes to get the job done."

She nodded into his shoulder, then turned her head enough to say, "Thanks, Thayne." Shidan tucked that one away as well. Bodyguard stood and held out his hand and Shidan moved to pass her over when they both suddenly realized she'd completely fallen asleep. For just a second they stared at her in surprise, then looked at each other and shared wry grins. Shidan held her. "Get started on your tools. Go purchase new nibs and two full bottles of ink. Make sure there's enough paper and then get more. Tell the store you're picking them up for me and they'll bill the department. I'll watch her until you get back."

Thayne paused just a bit. "I promise. I won't do anything," Shidan said gently. Thayne looked at him and Shidan didn't let his gaze waver. Thayne bobbed his head and disappeared out the door. Shidan sighed. "Except hold my cat for one of the first and last times," he whispered as he pet her hair gently and slowly to keep her soothed in her sleep. The tears were still dripping occasionally from her eyes and the soft sniffs tugged at him. He kissed the top of her head gently. He hadn't told her the worst part - yet. That could come later, and only if it had to.

-o-o-o-

"Gods Damn It All!" A small bowl went sailing through the air. Bodyguard caught it before it could hit the wall, but he had to toss it from hand to hand. It was still hot from the little flame it had been over. Shidan caught Little Cat as she headed the opposite direction and had to work hard to trap her hands and arms.

He finally tripped her to the floor and held her down since she also had legs and knew how to use those and her feet as well. "Damn it, Little Cat! Don't hurt me! I'm as frustrated as you are!" She held still, wanting to fight him - anything - still, the tension in her arms and whole body making her stiff.

They had gone through it all. Found a few minor changes. Gotten the rough draft written. She'd just completed the last possible experiment for the second time, Shidan reading faithfully every written step, Little Cat faithfully following through, Bodyguard faithfully watching over her shoulder to make sure she'd actually followed it as written.

"You have to keep trying. The best ones are the most difficult to surmount. This one is worth it." He forced the words out, wanted to force her to believe them. "There is a way."

She looked away from him and the disbelief hurt, because under it was trust leaking away. Trust in him, trust in herself. "And what if there isn't a solution? What if the real answer is that it isn't possible?" She jerked her hand out from his hold, then her other and pushed him off her to sit up and glare at him. "Is that an acceptable answer to a research project? Does _it_ get a diploma? To disprove a thing?"

Shidan sat and looked at her, despair and concern in his own heart as she voiced the worst case scenario. "Sometimes. Sometimes it does." He begged her to listen. "It means no one else has to go that way, or maybe sometime down the road there's a new thing that comes along and they have your research to know what was done and how to add it in. Pharmacy is one of the harder research subjects because of this kind of experimentation that has to happen. Sometimes it's something as small as a plant coming from Tanbarun instead of Selicia. The local variations - "

It was too much. He'd said too much and he couldn't grab her hand in time, the fingers slipping out of his grasp. "Catch her Bodyguard. At the least get her into the Observatory and don't let her out!" He was yelling after both their backs as he rolled up onto his feet. The other pharmacists mobilized as well. That had been the expression of one who was headed for the wall. He couldn't believe she would actually jump, but he'd seen the expression before. Absolute failure. Despair that left no room for light. This place ate too many when it was even only one that jumped. His heart pounded in fear as he took off after them. If they could corner her and get her into the observatory, she could be penned in until she calmed down. Wilant and Clarines couldn't afford to lose this one. She was going to do great things. He could already tell. ...She only had three weeks. Barely enough time to do the final write up with results and take the final exams.

With great relief he saw that they'd managed to get her into the Observatory. It was open and mostly calming, with only one door. There were three pharmacy students outside the door, blocking it, since they'd made it out of the pharmacy before he did. As he ran up, one came forward to stop him. Another looked back and saw him and immediately reached in to close the door to the room. The terror on his face made Shidan move faster and before the door closed, before he was grabbed by the closer student, he saw a thing that made his blood freeze. Little Cat was beating Bodyguard senseless and he was letting her, tears streaming down his face. The pharmacy students left two on guard on the door. The rest dragged Shidan down the hall back to the Pharmacy. He'd forgotten - she was a nightwalker from a violent House. Still, he couldn't see how that accounted for her speed and ferocity against someone who'd been faithful to her. She was going to be even worse when she woke up to what she was doing.

He shook off the hands. "Get medical supplies ready, now. She has to be stopped before she kills him or we'll lose her. That isn't who she is." He headed back to the Observatory at a run, leaving only the grim words behind.

-o-o-o-

Shidan sat wearily, leaning against the cabinet behind him. His face, shoulder, and chest throbbed. They were wrapping his hand now, where he'd hit Little Cat, knocking her to the floor, half-conscious. It had been the only way to stop her. He hurt remembering it, more than the hand hurt. Bodyguard - Thayne - lay unconscious, his multiple contusions being seen to. Little Cat was still locked up in the Observatory, under student guard. Shidan wanted to keep this quiet and limited to the Pharmacy. They'd refuse her the diploma just on this. He'd be suspended for accepting a student like this, regardless of the caliber of her mind. _He_ was ready to cry, but the tear ducts were dry. Only his heart hurt. It had only hurt like this once before. That was over a woman as well, though one older than him - by a year.

He wanted to swear. Didn't have the energy to. He closed his eyes, thinking of all the possibilities, all the resources at his disposal. "Sandi, tea. Enough for everyone. I want everyone listening. All ears on it. She's missed something and I can't see it. Close the pharmacy until we figure it out. We've got five days. The conference starts in seven and lasts two weeks. That's all she's got before she has to go. We'll do rotations, sleeping four hours, if we have to. She's done enough work solo for it to count."

"Shidan," a soft voice interjected. He opened his eyes and looked at his assistant. "You haven't told her yet...about the exam. Will ...will they let it fly?"

Shidan's heart hurt again. "As soon as we figure out what we're missing and she can get writing, I'll take it up with them. ...I don't know." He said the last softly. He was most worried about it, but he wanted to have her at least get the research written so it wouldn't be lost. So her name would be on something.

"Will she do this again if they won't?" it was a harder voice, his most soft-hearted student who was working on Thayne, angry at what she'd done to him.

"Forgive her, please, for my sake," he said to her, turning to look at her, then at all of them. "She's been here before." He stopped and swallowed around the lump finally forming in his chest and throat. "She gave me a clue and I went hunting. It took a lot to find it. ...She was here two years ago and wrote two papers, original languages, oral and written. Her professor fought for her all the way up to the top - to the head family. He couldn't get them to give it to her because of her age." He closed his eyes and all his own rage was suddenly at the surface. He slammed his good hand down on the cabinet behind him. "Her Goddamn Age!"

His students were stunned. "Original - languages? _Two_ of them?" his assistant asked.

Shidan nodded in pain. "Her professor is failing but he could still talk to me. He's still angry about it. Says she is a linguistics genius. I told him she's not. She's a pharmacy genius and we got into a friendly argument." The tears finally dripped from his closed eyes. "Then he made me promise I'd see she got some recognition some time, for any subject. He'd seen what I'd seen. She isn't limited. She understands _any_ topic as high as it can go. She needs to be the youngest Dean of Lyrias University."

His face twisted, and he bitterly said, "Then he told me to give it up. As long as the current people are in power, they'll never let her have it. She passed the verbal linguistics exam, because it is of course verbal, but they refused - utterly refused - to accept her attempts at the written. Her writing isn't readable and she reads too slow. They firmly believe," he took a deep breath, "that if you can't read and write, you're an idiot and that is all it takes to prove it." The tears dripped from his eyes, unheeded, unashamed, because he was so ashamed of his beloved university. Clarines was going to lose one of its most important treasures.

"She's angry because she already knows," another one of the male students said, anger and frustration tinting his own voice. They all knew. All knew he adopted stray cats and made them into something that could become a real person. They all knew how hard Little Cat had tried, how much she cared. Every student empathized with every other student, particularly at the hard parts like this.

Shidan nodded. "Yes. She already knows they won't give her the recognition. She wants the answer for her own purposes. She says it's to protect those in her House that need protecting." He opened her eyes and looked at them. "She's not doing this for the recognition. She doing this because of people she loves and cares about. She's going to be devastated when she sees what she's done to Bodyguard. It's the only reason I could have hit her for, and it still hurts." He got sympathetic nods. "She's desperate. If she can't get the answer before she goes, she'll have let all of them down. ...I don't want to let her down. It doesn't matter any more. Let's get her the answer."

"...I'll fight for her diploma because I think it needs to be fought for. The close mindedness of the university needs to be fought so she and others like her don't become lost to Clarines. I'm going to take it to the conference. Maybe enough will hear me there that someday I can get her the recognition she deserves. For now, we have her work to do. Robert, go get the rough draft. Read it out loud. We'll dig as deep as we have to. Ask all the stupid questions. I read it all to her, I've got the answers in my head and if you think I'm wrong, the pile's next to her chair. Pass out the books. If everyone takes one we'll get through it all faster."

The pharmacy mobilized - for one wild, lost, stray kitten. When one of the guard students came to the pharmacy for Shidan, they kept going. They'd moved Thayne to a recovery room and promised they wouldn't tell her where he was until he recovered enough that she wouldn't be pushed over the edge again. He walked, heart heavy, down to the Observatory. He leaned his head on the door and listened. She was sobbing. That was better than the silence of death. The room was carpeted, and did have gas lamps in the walls, but furniture was not kept in this room. It was for this purpose. She wasn't the first, wouldn't be the last, that they needed to keep alive until their minds and hearts recovered.

Shidan took a breath. She was going to have to see what she'd done to him. That was going to be hard enough. Just as hard as him having to see what he'd done to her. He expected to see fear in her eyes. He'd been violent to her like her House. He didn't want to have lost her, but he couldn't expect anything else. He set that in his mind and took a deep breath. Calming his expression to one of soberness, he opened the door and walked in, closing it behind him. Three steps in and she was holding him tightly about the waist.

"I'm so, so so-sorry, Shidan." She was trembling. "Th-thank you. Thank you for stopping me."

He blinked, then held her. "He's alive. He'll recover." She nodded, trusting him. He melted just a little more, but didn't let it go to his face. Not yet.

"A-and y-you?" she was hiding her face, not wanting to see it.

He pushed on her. "Look, Ilena. Look at me and see what blind anger does."

She was immediately obedient, her tawny eyes large and round in her worry. She held on to his coat with both fists, but leaned back to look into his face. He looked at her soberly. She took it all in - the swelling from the kick to the left cheek. The cut across the right temple from the slashing hand, the lump under his coat at his shoulder from the elbow coming down on it that nearly broke the collarbone, down to his hand where he'd bruised and cut the knuckles hitting her hard enough she spun and collapsed into a heap, hurting his heart the most. She looked back up into his eyes and he let her see that pain, too.

Her lower lip quivered and she bit it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I won't forget. Not ever, I promise. I won't ever do it again - hit someone I love in anger."

He shook his head. "No Ilena. Don't ever hit anyone in anger." He said it very slowly and deliberately.

She nodded, starting to lose control again. "I promise."

Before she could crumble again, he pulled her to him and held her, letting her hold on to him and sob once again. He sighed to himself in relief. This one, good at all she did, was already assassin material. Young enough to only get better. She could already kill without a weapon, only her own self. She'd held back against Thayne and himself, he was sure of it, but he wouldn't ask her. It still hadn't been sufficient and she needed that lesson. The fact that she admitted she loved him made the lesson that much more powerful. He bent his head down and kissed the top of her head. He was really going to miss Little Cat when she went away.

"Come back and visit me, okay?" he whispered to her. She didn't answer, just squeezed him tighter for a moment. No promises. Not surprising. If she could, she would. He squeezed her back. That was okay with him. "Come on. You've got people to protect." He released her and took her hand. They walked back to the pharmacy. She stared uncomprehendingly at the 'closed' sign on the pharmacy door. He opened it and brought her inside. The reading of her paper stopped as everyone looked at her.

Little Cat walked with him to the edge of the group. She couldn't look anyone in the eye, though she tried to. She bowed deeply. "I'm very sorry. I won't ever do it again, hit in anger." Her grip on his hand was a promise given again. She held the bow long, then rose, her tears threatening again and she dashed them from her eyes.

"We're all going to help you, Ilena," Shidan said to her. "I know that the solution to this is more important than the recognition. We'll help you get your answer before you have to go."

She looked up at him in surprise. "Why? Why would you go to such lengths to give me a gift after what I've done?"

Shidan looked at her, finally letting his pride in her and his smile show. "Because your reason is kind. Because you're worth it." He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "And because I want to." He didn't tell her what she wanted to hear. She wasn't old enough for that. He also didn't tell her it was because he wanted her to feel indebted to him so he had some hold on her that would bring her back here again to repay him. He wanted to be able to reward her when he could get the university fixed. He had no idea how to find her. He would have to hope she came back...some year.

-o-o-o-

The cold air swirled along the floor of the pharmacy. "Shidan!"

Shidan rose as if he'd been bit and ran around the edge of the cabinet. "Garak! You've arrived early!"

Garak waved a hand. "You know royalty. Show up last minute, leave as early as they can. I have things I want to get done so I've come ahead."

Shidan could feel Little Cat creep around the end of the cabinet and look out cautiously. "What did you do to your face. Fight a cat?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did," he said lazily. "It happens, you know."

Garak gave him a meaningful look. "I warned you, didn't I?"

Shidan snorted. "At least I don't take in every wild dog like you."

Garak dismissed his comment. "I don't, except you on occasion."

Shidan flushed. "Am not, and I don't come to your call either."

Garak was looking past him, judging, then looked back up at him. "Surely not."

Shidan flushed darker in anger this time. "Are you going to be as closed minded as all the idiots running this place? She's already on her third subject."

Garak stopped her forward motion to take over the Pharmacy as she usually did when she visited. They were going to give it to her, but she took the Head Pharmacist of Wistal Castle instead - the home of the Queen and eventually the next King, leaving Shidan behind. He couldn't walk in her shadow forever and he'd rather be here anyway. It had still hurt, though, that she would always love her research and her pet projects more than the people who loved her.

Little Cat had also frozen. It was the first he'd admitted to her he knew. She carefully walked out from behind the cabinet and up behind him. She took his coat in her fists and leaned her head on his back. "You knew?" she whispered.

"I did. I spoke to your professor two weeks before he passed away."

She shivered. "Was he happy?"

"He was. He'd lived a long life. He was happy to hear you had come back, but he didn't make me any promises. I can't make them to you either, other than the one I already have." She nodded into his back. It already didn't matter. They'd found the answer the night before this one. The pharmacy was quiet because they were the only two awake.

Garak was watching them with her piercing eyes that saw everything and made educated leaps that were almost always correct. "They won't let her have them." Her voice was dull.

"No, they won't. She has an eidetic memory, is extremely gifted, more than you and I, but can't get letters to work right. Her first professor worked with her very hard, as he was in linguistics. There is only one written language she can read because it sits still for her eyes and mind. She created it." Little Cat shook her head in his back. He looked back at her in surprise. "No?"

"I formalized it. Little Ryuu created it."

"Little Ryuu?" Garak immediately asked. "He's younger than you?"

"Yes," her voice was small.

"Where is he?" Garak asked. Shidan frowned at her and shook his head. Little Cat's grip on him tightened.

"Where he can't be ruined by this place," Little Cat spat in her quiet voice.

Garak's eyes widened. Shidan gave her a 'see?' look. Garak held her tongue, a difficult thing for her to do, but her look said the two of them would be talking more on the topic. He was in agreement on that. He wanted her on his side for this one, not as the rival they always had been, probably always would be. She was where she could have the ear of the court and King. That could make all the difference.

"So...when do you plan on reopening the Pharmacy? I hope before the Queen gets here. The rumors are already reaching the castle."

"This afternoon when everyone has recovered," he said calmly. Little Cat stiffened. He reached around and patted her shoulder, what he could reach of it, then pulled her off his coat. "Go get your paper. Garak wants to read it." Garak raised her eyebrow at his presumption, but didn't complain. Her curiosity already had the better of her. She continued her walk into the pharmacy, sweeping past Shidan. He turned and followed her into the inner parts of the pharmacy. "No assistants?" he asked her.

"They're unpacking the carriage. Had to bring loads of things for the conference."

"I hope you're putting it into an empty lab. There's no room for it here."

"There's not?" Garrak said innocently. "Why not?"

"Because this is an important part of Clarines and it needs to be kept uncluttered so that it can perform its proper function without chaos." Little Cat looked directly into Garrak's eyes. "There are three empty labs on the first floor in the second hallway, perfect for all of your things and your personnel. They are close enough to both this pharmacy and the lecture hall you will be presenting at. If you need your guards, they can be stationed at either end of the hallway. They will only have to be able to recognize two students, who are in the final stages of their research and only come out once per day to eat."

Garak stared at Little Cat, too stunned to even laugh her normal laugh at such a statement. "Do you have the whole university memorized?" she asked.

Little Cat looked at Garak soberly. "I have all of Wilant memorized, Garak. And all of Selicia and all of Tarc. And I know what you ate for breakfast the day you left Wistal Castle." She handed over the paper. "And I know that I do not like you. You do not know how to love. That is a sad life." Little Cat bowed to Shidan. "I'll stop by again before I leave. Once. I hope to find you here. Thank you so much for all your help. Thayne belongs here so he'll be okay."

Shidan looked at her with sad eyes. "I'll try to be here. Please don't leave without saying a proper goodbye." He'd never heard Garak silenced so long. He watched Little Cat leave. She'd stayed as long as she could and Garak had interrupted their goodbye. He wasn't happy about it, but there was little he could do.

"How old is the pipsqueak?" Garak finally found her voice.

"Stuff it," he said back. "Read the paper." He returned to his desk to finish his tea and take Little Cat's cup to the sink in the back and wash them. He put together Garak's favorite tea, which was different from his - much sweeter - and carried it out to her. She'd already taken the couch as she always did, sprawled with her coat flung out behind her. He chose his desk after putting the teacup on the side table. He looked at the stuffed chair and changed his mind. He didn't want to sit that close to Garak, but he didn't want her to move there. It wasn't her chair. It was Little Cat's.

Shidan waited quietly, enjoying the peace before the busy storm that would be next. Garak finally put the paper down, reached for her tea and took a sip. She sighed and set it back down on the plate. "You never forget either, do you?"

"No," he said quietly, not looking at her. He never forgot her favorite tea, how she looked when she was excited about a project, how she had looked at him once and won his heart in the process, how she had rejected him in favor of project after project, how she had left him, and how it felt to be in her shadow. How she looked when sleeping, how she felt in his arms, how he couldn't forget any of it. It was hard to forgive when one couldn't forget. He understood Little Cat's anger all too well. He was going to have to betray that trust. He hoped she forgave him. It was for her sake. "What do you think?"

There was silence for a while. "She came to you." He nodded. "After already being rejected by this place, to learn this?" He nodded again. "She needs to be here." He nodded again. "She won't, though, not after what they've done." He shook his head.

"She also can't," he added.

"Can't? Why?"

"She's collared, and the leash just got put back on today. She belongs to a House, and not just any House. An Untouchable."

Garak sucked in a breath of air. "Even by the crown?" Shidan nodded, closing his eyes. He hurt again. "She can't be snuck out?"

He shook his head. "Didn't you hear it, at the end?"

Garak considered it, then said sadly, "She's House Royalty."

Shidan's face scrunched with the pain he felt. He nodded one more time. It was one stray he couldn't free. The one stray he wanted to the most. Garak was quiet. Finally she said, "What do you want, Shidan?"

"I want her free. I want to give her the recognition she's due. I want for this university to stop losing the brightest minds of Clarines." He paused. "I'm going to bring it up, with that paper, at the conference. Will you support me?"

"Yes. Is she going to be there?"

"I presume. She'll likely be at the side of her Master on a very tight leash."

"In the general meeting, try to find her. I'll bring Prince Izana to you. Point her out to him so he can see the face of her Master. If anyone can free her, it's him. Bringing down Untouchables is his gift. I'll talk to him about what the university has done, but if you bring it up that will actually be sufficient. He might not be able to do anything until he wears the crown, though. Queen Haruto is bound by the things left by her predecessors." Shidan nodded. He understood. "What are you going to give me?"

Shidan clenched his hand. "Little Ryuu."

Garak sucked in a breath. "You know where he is?"

Shidan nodded. Before Garak could say anything more, he said, "Don't let her know I told you. She already hates you. Let her keep doing that and loving me. We need her here, but if Ryuu is there, you and he together can help Wistal and Clarines learn how much we need geniuses of any age. We're too remote here, and still too backwater." He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice. He finally turned to look at Garak.

She was looking at him soberly. She nodded at him, deliberately. "All for one stray," she sighed at him.

He shook his head. "No, for you, me, Little Ryuu, her, and all the rest that will come after. For Clarines."

She smiled at him. "Of course. And, for one little stray."

He made an impatient gesture at her.

"Really, how old is she?"

"...Fourteen...going on forty."

"How old was she when she got the other two?"

He clenched his hand again. "Twelve."

Garak rose in her usual lithe fashion. She ruffled the top of his head. "You won't lose this one, Shidan. I'll help. ...I believe Prince Izana will as well. Keep helping the strays. It keeps you soft and happy. Maybe if I have an intelligent youngster around me I'll finally understand what it is to love." Her voice mocked both Little Cat and herself. Shidan understood Garak more than anyone else. She also had lost her ability to trust and love because no one had understood her genius until she'd already hardened her heart to it. She only loved her own projects now. It made her sad, herself, that she couldn't love Shidan back, but she didn't really care enough to try, either. "I need to go direct traffic. They should be coming with the stuff shortly. I'll take the three empty labs. You have catching up to do, being closed for five days, six if you count today. I'll stay out of your way."

"Thanks," he said before she got too far away to hear it.

She lifted a hand but didn't look back. "My pleasure." The door closed behind her and it was very quiet. He looked at his bed. Her coat was still on it. She would be back. He sighed and closed his eyes. So would the one that belonged in this place. One more time. Then his heart would hurt for a while and then another stray would come along to fill that hole, like this one had the one the stray named Garak had left. He settled back into the stuffed chair and leaned his head back, falling asleep in the quick way of researchers who learned it for the sake of staying alive.

-o-o-o-

It was dark. The conference was just ending. Most dignitaries would leave in the morning. Shidan covered Garak with a blanket. She'd passed out on his couch - again. She'd worked hard, both on her own agendas and on his. He could let her have it one more night. He'd be alone with his students and assistants again after this. He sighed and turned towards the chair. He sat and held out his hand. After a pause, a smaller, warm hand slipped into his. He pulled her into his lap, one last time. "Little Cat," he said quietly to her, "please, take care of yourself. You are a treasure that needs to be put into a new setting. There are people working to help you get there, please trust that. If you ever need me, I'm here."

Little Cat took his head between both hands and pulled his head down to kiss his forehead. "Shidan. I will never forget you, nor your kindness. I'll give you your gift, but it will be many years from now. Do your work and I'll do mine and someday they will work together. I am just beginning. I promise, whenever I can I'll stop by to visit, but even that will likely not be for many years to come. I have to grow up a little more first, and become stronger. Thank you for helping me get started."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him. He held her back, just as tightly. "I will really miss you," he finally said. "Thank you for adopting me for this time."

"Thank you for letting me intrude," she answered.

"My pleasure." She shifted and he let her go. "Good luck," he said to her.

"Thanks. You, too." They stared at each other for one more moment, then she was gone, the swirl of cold air on his ankles the last good bye. He pulled the blanket over him, smelling her scent as he fell asleep in her chair.

-o-o-o-

One of the first things King Izana did six years later was install a new Dean of the Lyrias University. One of the first things that Dean did was tell the entire staff to hunt for young blood - geniuses - and see that they were welcomed. He instituted policies of how to test them - verbally for the most part, but whatever suited their strengths, and allowed that for all students. Then he called Shidan to his office. Shidan was happy to go.

"Shidan," the rotund, balding Dean said, as he welcomed him to the office. "Good to see you again. Thank you for supporting me and for all your hard work these past years."

"My pleasure," Shidan said. "Welcome to Lyrias, and congratulations."

The Dean waved a hand. "I have a thing I want to show you," he rummaged in his desk, then pulled out two small research publications, almost pamphlets. "My subject matter is linguistics." Shidan sat upright and paid attention, eyeing the papers in the Dean's hands, nearly holding his breath. "I had an old colleague that passed away six years ago. I'd just returned from my own sabbatical a few short months before that. I was tasked with cleaning up his lab and effects here at the university. In his things I found these papers." Shidan could barely contain his excitement. "I talked to him before he died about a peculiar student he'd had the year I was gone. Only after I'd agreed that his student had truly come up with the most fantastic thing of our time - a real, full blown, new language did he let me know she'd only been twelve." Shidan had to hold his hands tightly together. The Dean finally handed them over. "See what you think."

Shidan held them reverently. On the cover was the title and under it _her_ name. _Ilena_. Only that. Then the professor's name. He opened the one with the written language. It had all been completely written in the language she'd formalized. "Sadly, there is no copy written in Clarinees that I've been able to find, and this is the only one I can find any more in this language. I know I saw one in the library after he told me about it six years ago, but it isn't there any more." Shidan froze. Little Cat had taken them, almost surely. He wondered why. He'd seen them there, too, but had left them, afraid she would be afraid if they weren't on the shelf, or worse, if she found them on his desk. He opened the one on the spoken language and it was the same. In the language of Ryuu.

"This is astounding," Shidan said. "And, how old?"

"Twelve." The Dean leaned forward. "I want her. He made me promise to give her the credit she was due. She actually passed the oral. The school didn't know how to give a child a diploma."

Shidan looked up quickly, in shock. "She _passed?_ "

The Dean nodded. "By rights, she was credentialed at twelve."

Shidan's head swam. "Unbelievable," he murmured. "...Do you remember the paper I read in the conference six years ago?" The Dean nodded. "It was written by a fourteen year old girl...who couldn't read or write because the letters danced."

"I remember you said that," the Dean said. "I would love to talk to that one, too. I want to know why. Letters shouldn't dance. Why do they for that one, who is brilliant?"

Shidan nodded, looking at the papers in his hands. He held one up, open to a random page. "This is how she wrote, with letters like these. She told me this language was originally created by Ryuu, the prodigy Court Pharmacist at Wistal Castle, and that she just formalized it." The Dean stared at him with wide open eyes. Shidan closed the book to show him the front cover. "This was her name." The Dean's mouth dropped open and he lifted up out of his seat then dropped back down. "Where is she, Shidan? Do you know?" he was barely breathing.

Shidan shook his head sadly. "I don't. I don't know how to contact her. She promised to contact me if she comes back here. I've seen her once. She was very different. Hard, cold, but she tried to be pleasant for me. She's had a hard life. She could see it was hard for me to see her, I think. She hasn't been back for a while now." Shidan hurt all over again. "I keep hoping. I'm hoping even more now that you're here. I want her to get the credit, too. For these, for the paper she did with me."

The Dean nodded. "If she comes back again, let me know right away. Don't let her get away. We've lost twice. It would be terrible to lose her again. This place, Clarines, needs her." Shidan couldn't agree more.

Shidan walked back down to the Pharmacy from the Dean's office, thinking about Little Cat. She'd come by, on as tight a leash as he'd ever seen her. Even tighter than the one at the conference. She stood proudly, unbending. Turning into a young woman, her hair then longer than her waist, braided back, her face more regal than ever, almost too beautiful. He'd been sad - not to see her, but because she looked like she'd lost what he'd tried to teach her, had hoped to prevent her from becoming. She was fine tuned, deadly, her eyes soft for him, but her face not able to be. She hadn't been able to stay long either. She'd intimated it was because she didn't want to bring danger to him by association. He suspected that was another reason she didn't come visit when she might be in town. She was protecting him. He supposed he could be grateful, but he really just wanted to see her, especially now.

When he arrived in the Pharmacy his most recent assistant, Izuru, handed him a letter that had come for him, and a cup of tea. He smiled a warm smile at her and thanked her. Izuru had moved in, a stay-at-home cat, not a stray, and had just made herself welcome. Shidan appreciated her company. Like the strays, she took care of him. Unlike the strays, she was a warm comfortable presence that faded into the background until she wasn't there. Then he found himself looking for her. That's all it was to him, but he could sense to her it might be more. She gave the 'disinterested cat' if he ever teased her about it being more, though, so it was hard to tell. She'd been present for Garak's last visit, though, and for Little Cat's one visit. Staying in the background, being efficient. That is, he thought it was that, hadn't even realized Izuru was there and had given Little Cat a hug (because she offered) and force of habit kissed the top of her head.

A gasp had interrupted and Little Cat had looked in surprise at Izuru. "Was - was that a _kiss_?" Izruru had blurted out.

Shidan had put his foot in his mouth as usual. "I don't kiss my cats."

Little Cat had turned to him and scolded him. "It's 'I don't kiss just _any_ cat', Shidan. Get it straight." Then she had grabbed Izuru's hand. " _You_ need to vent. I'm the only one who understands _exactly_ how you feel. Let's go." And they had both disappeared, leaving Shidan rather confused and somewhat lonely with both of them gone.

He did wonder later if she'd been protecting him with that, too, though. A shady 'patient' had showed up shortly thereafter and looked around suspiciously while being treated, but left after he apologized that his assistant had gone out with a friend. That had pretty much clinched it. If Little Cat had come to play with a girlfriend near her own age, that was one thing (Shidan hoped Izuru would stay safe), but if she'd come to visit the Head Pharmacist, that might be another thing altogether. Shidan had made sure Izuru came home and was safe, keeping her by his side for the next several days after that, and not letting her fade into his background until the eyes he felt on the back of his head went away.

Since then, anyway, Izuru had been the same, except a little more standoffish at times, but they were infrequent and only when he was brooding in the overstuffed chair. "Are you going to open it, or not?" Izuru brought him back to the present again.

"Ah, right." Shidan opened the letter. It was from Garak. She was sending Ryuu and his assistant up to Lyrias for a brief visit. Could he please see if they might be ready to be sent up for formal training? He could put them to use for whatever project he saw fit, as long as it didn't last longer than a few weeks. She was sending work with them, too, research on things she didn't have there. Shidan sighed. It would interrupt his own work, of course. She also was asking them to do too much, again. If she was sending work he hardly needed to provide more. He knew it was coming, this letter. It was part of the overall plan to get the last of the stuffed shirts in the university to understand the value of child prodigies.

He handed the letter to Izuru. "Here. We need to prepare for this. Who should be assigned to be their host or hostess while they're here?"

Izuru read the letter, then rattled of a couple of names. "Sure, sounds good. Can you talk to them?" She gave him the 'lazy bastard giving me more work' look, but he knew she'd do it anyway. She had the current set of apprentices trained now so she didn't need to spend as much time on that. "Thanks for the tea," he smiled at her. Her eyes went soft and she turned away. He smiled into his cup.

-o-o-o-

Shidan's hands shook as he set the letter down. He would never in a million years have expected it.

 _Shidan, you bastard. I'm going to scold you since no one else will have the courage to. What the Hell were you thinking putting Prince Zen's special someone at risk and nearly ruining my one chance for freedom, all for the sake of your research? Have you become Garak? - Ilena_

He'd scared her, badly. She'd bothered to write. And the words cut him, deeply. He couldn't help it, there was no way to contact her. He whispered, "I'm sorry, Little Cat. I really didn't know it would do that." The words sounded sad and lonely to him too, in the quiet of this large room that had been so full of patients and desperate pharmacists, including Ryuu and Shriayuki and her guard, Obi. They were all recovered now and it was just him. Even Izuru was sleeping. He really had gone overboard with this, not ensuring everyone's safety, but he just hadn't known. It was a new plant to the area, and beautiful.

"I should hope so. Next time look it up first." Shidan was out of his seat. There hadn't even been the swirl of cold air at his ankles. Little Cat stood glaring at him, her arms crossed. "Shidan, I realize you don't know, so I'll tell you. The Second Prince and those two are my only way to freedom. Keep them alive and protected from now on, please.

Shidan nodded dumbly, then shook his head. "Wait, how long have you been here?"

"Since they opened the gates again. I needed to see them with my own eyes...," she softened, "and you. I'm glad you're okay. You should have come down with it first."

He couldn't hide his guilt. "Yes, I should have. I don't know why I didn't." In two long strides she was in front of him. She was taller than the last time she'd been here, finally reaching a height that was tall for a woman. He realized he still didn't know what country she was from.

She flicked him lightly on the forehead between his eyes where his face was furrowed. "Stop that. You can't take the blame for things you don't understand, or shouldn't happen. No one _wants_ to see you sick, and even less see you take on a sickness you don't need. Make that part of the research if you want, but don't love the plants more than the people." Now her pain was in her eyes, and he realized that was the hardest part of her letter.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I've forgotten."

She let him look at her pain a long time, until the tears dripped from her eyes. "Shidan...you can't forget that. Some of us need you too much for that. Don't give up on the people, or we might give up on ourselves."

He held out a hand. He never wanted her to do that. She'd changed, but she was still the same. "Little Cat," his voice broke, "please, don't ever give up. Please. I've done my half. The Dean wants to give you your credentials. Please go see him and let him give them to you. Let your past efforts be properly rewarded."

Little Cat's eyes narrowed. "It isn't necessary, except to soothe the conscience of those who couldn't or wouldn't in the past. I appreciate that you appreciate my efforts and I'm grateful for all your hard work and help. Being able to use it was more important and had longer reaching effects. It's sufficient."

"Clarines needs you," he begged.

Little Cat shook her head. "Not in that way. Izana will decide when it's time. I've chosen a different place." Her head came up and she sniffed the air. He remembered how she had smelled the mold in a closed drawer on the top row of the cabinets. "I have to go. You'll likely see me more frequently soon. My Master is weakening. The leash will soon be in my hands and he will wear the collar of another man." She was gone.

He stumbled back into _her_ chair and put his hand to his head. Her half would be done soon also, but he didn't think he would be able to talk her into what the Dean wanted for her...what _he_ wanted for her. That hurt almost as bad as the letter had. A clink and a teacup on a saucer appeared in his view. He looked up and smiled, but it had the pain of his heart in it. "Thank you, Izuru." She bent down and picked up the small piece of paper. He held his hand out for it, but she read it first anyway. He slumped in the chair.

"That's rather stiff and angry, isn't it?" Izruru said.

Shidan nodded, then shook his head. "I scared her. And...she was right. I'd forgotten and put plants and research before people." He looked away. "She was here, just before you came. I properly apologized."

After a bit Izuru answered, "Well, that's good, then. Did you bother telling her you were the one who went without sleep the most?"

Shidan shook his head. "She already knew. She's that kind."

Izuru relented. "Well, that's true."

"She refused again, even though I told her the Dean wanted to give them to her."

Izuru didn't answer. There wasn't an answer to give. "I want her to have them, too," he whispered. After a bit, Izuru sat on the arm of the chair next to him. That was _her_ place - Izuru's place. It helped. He was able to drink the tea she brought him after a bit longer, and then finally fall asleep. Being scolded by Little Cat had helped him get rid of his guilt and remorse. He'd been able to apologize and let it go - the fact he'd come face to face with Garak inside of his own soul. He'd promised, he wouldn't do it again. He wouldn't go back on a promise to Little Cat.

-o-o-o-

One year later found Ryuu and Shirayuki back at Lyrias University Pharmacy as official students. About a week into it or so, Obi appeared as well. They settled into a routine in the Pharmacy about a month later. It felt a little crowded for some reason. Shidan wasn't sure if it was the extra people, or if it was the extra visitors to see the Court Pharmacists and cute knight assigned to guard the red-haired woman who was the sweetheart of the Prince. Shidan was surprised that Obi generated just as much interest as the other two did. He could be charming when he wanted to be but he was definitely not a researcher. He was more like the Bodyguard of Little Cat. Of course, we _was_ a bodyguard, so that only stood to reason.

Shidan took to hiding more frequently in his research and behind his books when he wanted peace from all the noise, but he did like the bright voice of Shirayuki and Ryuu's slow, thoughtful phrases he responded with. When a touch of laughter or ray of humor was needed, Obi always knew when to add it to the conversation. He was also a surprisingly competent assistant.

It was one of the rarer afternoons that Shidan was being given peace and quiet in the main room. "Good afternoon, Shidan."

He spun around on his stool. "How _are_ you doing that?" he asked. "That's the third time you've not come in the door."

Little Cat smiled at him and kept her mouth shut, then she got sober. "Shidan. You know I'm protecting you. I'm carrying my own leash now, but I still have eyes on me. I don't want those eyes on you, not even by accident. Don't ever breathe a word to anyone about what you know about me, and even my name probably isn't safe, my real one. Things are getting unstable, and they need to be, but I don't want you caught up in it...okay?" She was pleading with him.

Shidan nodded. "I understand." She relaxed a little. Shidan looked at her. She had become rather beautiful. She looked less cold now, too, more mature instead. She still didn't let much emotion show on her face, though it might be more animated now, and because she was with him...or perhaps he flattered himself. This time he stepped up and captured her before talking to her, holding her arm in his hand. "Little Cat." Her eyes came around from where they were looking towards the cabinet to look into his. The eyes wary, the look guarded, though she didn't pull away. "Please. For me."

The look went almost compassionate, but she shook her head. "It's not the right time, Shidan. Maybe... some day." It was the most she'd ever given him, but, it wasn't enough. It still wasn't a yes. This time, he didn't hide his disappointment. She sighed, patted his hand and removed it from her arm. "I'll be around for a bit, Shidan. You'll see me again a time or two, but I need to go for now. ...Sometime in the next week, if you're alone at night, brew me a cup of tea and I'll stay long enough to visit." She went sober. "But if _he's_ here I won't come." Shidan slumped, then nodded. If he wanted to talk to Little Cat, he couldn't have the Dean present. She would know.

He still told the Dean she was here, and for a while the Dean ghosted around the Pharmacy and the main library more than usual. That meant Shidan didn't get to see Little Cat as much as she'd said she would come, which was a little irritating. Shidan finally sent everyone home early, including the Court Pharmacists and told the Dean to _not_ come, even going so far as to tell him she'd already gone. Then he set her favorite tea on to boil, poured himself a cup and sat to wait. Little Cat would come when Izuru was present, but he sent her to have dinner out with everyone else. She deserved a break, too, especially since Shidan had become rather difficult with how irritated he'd become in the last week. He sighed. He'd learned his lesson. He'd tell the Dean _after_ she left from now on.

"Learn something?" she leaned down over his shoulder and kissed his cheek, then went to pour her own cup of tea.

"Yes," he said morosely. "I'm sorry."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't comment. Looking around, she finally folded herself up to sit cross legged on the floor in front of him. He frowned at her then finally realized what it was. He chuckled. "Sorry. I've been keeping it warm for you so long I guess it's become my chair."

She gave him a smile and his heart stopped half a beat. "It's always been your chair, Shidan. I just borrowed it for a bit. Thank you again, by the way. It was the best bed I ever had when I was in Lyrias."

"I kind of thought it might be," he said wryly. "The stray cat that landed on my doorstep looked rather worse for the wear."

She nodded in agreement, not in a hurry for once. It was nice. "Thanks for the clothes, too. Once I became Steward I could keep myself in clothes. Before then, it just never crossed his mind unless I fussed at him - which was usually when I'd so outgrown them even he couldn't say no when I pointed it out."

Shidan frowned. "He was that poor a master?"

Little Cat shook her head. "No, that hard to approach."

Shidan sighed inside. He'd figured that, too. "I'm glad you're still alive."

"Me, too." Calmly said, calmly she drank another sip of tea.

Shidan leaned forward to rest on his elbows, looking into her eyes. "You know. That isn't normal."

She grinned with one side of her mouth and raised that eyebrow. "You think? Nothing in that House is normal." She paused and the smile went away. She was back to the look he was used to seeing on her face now. Showing nothing and looking hard and cold because of it. "Any plant that grows contrary to how it should destroys itself eventually. This one's almost dead. A few more years, Shidan. Be patient just a little longer. You aren't the only one who wants me out of it anymore, but you were one of the first."

He was glad she was willing to acknowledge what he wanted, and let him know her progress. He leaned back and took another sip of his cooling tea. She put her plate and cup on the floor next to her and pulled one knee up to rest on. She looked up into his face. "So tell me, how are you enjoying having the Court Pharmacists as your newest students?" Her eyes were interested.

He smiled. "Ryuu has really come a long way, though he still has more to go, as far as getting social skills go. Shirayuki is very gentle with him and helps him without him even knowing it. It often looks a lot like she's being a little mother for him. In turn he helps her stay focused on the facts, and is constantly being a conscientious teacher to her. He takes his role as her advisor and senior student very seriously. She responds with utmost respect. It's very good for him, and together they're the perfect example for this university to watch. It makes me very hopeful we will finally get the attitude turned around about geniuses in this place."

Little Cat was smiling a soft smile that softened her whole face. He drank it in, feeling parts of him relax that had been tense for years. She was still soft. Still caring. The harsh House had made her learn to wear an exterior shield of harshness, but inside she had protected who she really was. He was so relieved he had to put his tea down carefully in his lap so he didn't drop it, watching it as he did so so it didn't tip off the plate, and to recover.

"I'm glad he finally has a real mother, then," Little Cat said. "He's missed his own for a long time. He's been too far away for me to do it." There was a pause. She casually said, "Though I know why you did it."

He didn't react. He knew how to play these kinds of games. She might know, but he was pretty sure she was fishing. "Garak sent me a letter saying she'd found him, or rather, the King's network had - well I guess First Prince's network at the time, and he asked her to pick Ryuu up on her way back. The King has been the driving force behind it since that conference. When I pointed you out to him, even I could feel the heat of his intense anger. If you understand that you're only a few years out from freedom, that means you and he are communicating, planning it's downfall together." He looked up at her. "That's his gift, is what Garak told me that night, tearing down Untouchable Houses. With an ally like you on the inside, there was never any doubt it would happen eventually." He smiled his own soft smile.

Little Cat shook her head, giving him the points. "Yes, but I'm doing all the work, since that's what it is. He helps where he can. I've learned his signature and it's fun to play with him, but I still get to carry it." She looked thoughtful. "I actually came to it unknowingly. It was the only place I had to go. I didn't know it was hell until it was too late to leave." She traced random patterns on the floor, watching her finger as she did it. "I wouldn't have left it anyway. There was something very precious to me there and when I'd won freedom for that, I still couldn't leave. I needed to win freedom for everyone in the House. There are only a few left, mostly just what I need for my own sanity. I'll be slowly sending them away over the next year or so, then I'll set the Master free, which will set Izana free."

Shidan furrowed his brow and chided her lightly, "You haven't included yourself in that list, Little Cat."

She looked back up at him in surprise. "Oh, well me too. I just don't know at which point. The end's a little fuzzy. There are too many variables still."

Shidan looked at her, trying to puzzle that out. "You see it? Strategy?"

Little Cat nodded. "My boards not as big as Izana's but it's bigger than Prince Zen's. Izana's been holding him back, making him learn a different kind of board. He's confided to me that Prince Zen is a genius of our generation too. He's a strategy genius, surpassing his aid Mitsuhide six months into learning his strategy lessons from him. They've been taking high level classes from the tutors from Sereg Knight's School and Mitsuhide is way behind in comparison. Izana's satisfied with that. He's letting me carry the north for him for now."

Shidan felt his heart sink. It must have shown in his face, because Little Cat tipped her head at him curiously. For the first time in a long time, that made him see the cat who had adopted him and he smiled just a little to see it. "You know, the Dean and I, we wanted you first," he said sadly.

Little Cat shook her head. "No, I was on that path before I came here the first time. It's the path I chose to walk." She looked down at her toes. "I suppose that's one of the reasons I don't want to see the Dean. I know what he wants from me, what you want, and I can't give it to you." She looked back up at him. "I'm sorry." He could see she was, for his sake.

He sighed. "Well, I guess we can't complain too much, then, if you'd already chosen it. ...The door is still open, regardless. You have a long life ahead of you still."

She smiled at him and his heart wanted more of it, wanted to know she'd come back and stay in this chair, which was really still _her_ chair. "True. I'll put it on the board and we'll see what Izana says."

Shidan set his teacup on the side table next to him and held out his hand. She looked at him. "Please," he asked. "Your spot's been empty a long time."

She took his hand and rose. He pulled her into his lap. She was a lot bigger now. "My how you've grown. Twenty one isn't fourteen any more is it?"

She laughed a little. "No, it isn't. I'm not the stray kitten any more. I'm the full grown cat." She lay her head on his shoulder, one last time, and held onto the front of his shirt, one last time. For one last time, he wrapped his arms around her, then kissed her forehead, the top of her head not being reachable any more. "...Still," she whispered, "sometimes...I wish I was." He reached up and pet her hair, one last time, in complete agreement.

-o-o-o-

Little Cat came again a half-year later. This time, Shidan didn't tell the Dean and swore Izuru to silence, making her accomplice since she already was. Little Cat showed up the first time while she was there and stole her away to visit again. Shidan tried not to be jealous, particularly since Little Cat was now more animated. She had an underlying anger, though, that Shidan worried about. When she stopped by the second time it was gone, and he hoped it was just a temporary emotional storm that needed a vacation and the sympathetic ear of a friend to get out. He felt Izuru out about it and she patted his arm and said he'd guessed right and Little Cat was fine now. He relaxed after that, though now he felt like the 'old man' and was disgruntled for a while until Izuru sat next to him on her perch and purred for him long enough.

That was one thing he did like about Izuru, his fluffy white house cat (her hair was dark, but that's how he saw her). She purred. She purred to calm him, to be happy or content with him when he solved a knotty problem, and when she was just happy and content to be present in this house of hers she had adopted. It wasn't a noise, per say, but a feeling, really. He couldn't pet her. She wasn't that kind of cat. She was one who faded away from touch. You reached out to pet them and discovered air where you expected fur, even though they were still right under your hand. But she did purr and it was just as warm and comforting.

She also didn't bristle like the strays always did. Both Garak and Little Cat, and the few others that had come over the doorstep over the years - you knew claws were going to come out if you weren't careful. Izuru never had that atmosphere. She was just the quiet cat padding around the house. Oh, she'd bat at his hand if she got irritated, definitely let him know if he crossed her lines, but never claws, never nervous jumps, just 'calm knowing' and 'bemused interest' that cats of that sort have.

She also didn't hate him for having strays adopt him, or come back to visit. That support was very important to him. He wouldn't have been able to be satisfied without it. He loved all of his cats; they had all been important to him. She was willing to understand that. This time, he did pet her, thinking of that, and, for once, she didn't fade away. She sat quietly and allowed it. It surprised him out of his musings and he stared at her. She ignored him, as proper. He pat her head a couple of times and then respected her space and took his hand back. He got a bemused flick of the ear. He ignored it, as proper, but inside, he smiled.

He was up in the library, in the far corner where the historical documents were that most people don't want to see anyway, sitting on the floor reading the book to find that one elusive piece of data, when he pulled away from the words in front of him. It took a minute to register. He was about to jump up when a piece of paper landed on the page in front of him.

 _Don't. She'll be super embarrassed and run._

Another piece of paper fluttered down.

 _Stay quiet. She doesn't know you're here. My 'thanks' for saving my life._

Shidan turned and looked around. Tall, bulked out, still the same light brown wavy hair and sparkling blue-grey eyes - Bodyguard. Still bodyguard it looked like. He wrote again and handed over the paper.

 _I don't think you ever knew, but she hears as well if not better as she smells._

Shidan rolled his eyes. Figured. He nodded and settled in to listen. What he heard slowly filled him with utter amazement until he was sitting upright, not just listening, but evaluating and testing. She was walking the research student through the same path he had taught her at fourteen. Making the student keep the explanation simple, asking pointed, directing questions, until there was that 'aha' moment.

"Thank you so much, Ilena! I think I've got it now."

"You're welcome!" It was said so cheerfully that Shidan's jaw hit the ground. "See you around." There was no answer. Shidan knew she hadn't expected one. The student was already lost in the ability to move forward again. Shidan stared at Bodyguard. He grinned back, then wrote again.

 _She always starts in this corner, works her way across the top, then heads down to the floor before coming to see you. If you stay very quiet and follow after slowly, you can hear it if you want. Consider it my punishment for the beating. I'll get you the alibi for being out of the Pharmacy but you'll have to figure out how to not get into trouble. She might stop if she knows you know._

Shidan got sober at that. He didn't want that at all. He nodded and took the next strip of paper.

 _Don't get seen from below until she leaves the library. She has other guards. You're lucky I was with her today. Don't let her see these either. Burn them. She sees everything so don't reread them. She's watching you when you don't know._

Shidan looked at Bodyguard hard, then rose quietly. He let the other younger man get ahead of him, then watched for him. If he wasn't moving, Shidan paused and listened. The same thing happened over and over, for any number of subjects. She was always openly friendly at the start, serious professor during the walkthrough, then just as friendly an exit. All unknowing to the students, since she started and ended like a fellow student, she was being their professor for them. It wasn't always a knotty problem. Sometimes it was just they were a little stuck. Sometimes it was just an update, since she didn't always make them start at the beginning - only if they said they _were_ stuck. After a bit, he motioned to Bodyguard, in the middle of one of the conversations.

He asked for the pen and paper without words and they were handed over. _Is this her first time to talk to these students, or is she carrying over the research of all of them from visit to visit?_

Bodyguard held up two fingers. Shidan swallowed and his eyes stung. His arm was grasped warmly, Bodyguard supporting him in his sudden emotional surge. He took a breath and there was a double pat on his head. That brought him back and he glared at Bodyguard who just smiled back a knowing look. The pen was requested and Shidan handed it back. The pen disappeared back into the jacket and the man disappeared back around the bookshelf. She had finished her conversation and moved on.

Shidan spent the rest of the next hour or more in a daze, listening to her follow along with student after student. Sometimes her words were faint when she was back under the upper mezzanine, but he could still hear her voice and follow the patterns. Then there was quiet for a brief time until, fairly close to where he was, but below, he heard her soft, caring voice from the beginning. There was someone she was tender for here.

"Flandras."

"Ah, Miss Ilena! Have you come for a bit then?"

"Yes. Will you tell me where you are? Starting from...," she was into her professor conversation quickly, but that little bit held Shidan spellbound. He listened, not following the subject matter, but understanding. This was a special student - strategy. Completely unheard of in Lyrias. They always went to Sereg. And there was a lot of mathematics in their discussion, complex. The mathematics of strategy. Shidan swallowed. Two treasures were talking to each other, in complete comprehension, and _his_ treasure was the teacher, the _professor_. No longer a student herself. He had already sat down to listen, now he put his head down in his arms and very quietly cried, his emotions too complicated to name.

Without credentials, without recognition, hurt twice with pain by this place, and she _still_ came back and was true to the researcher within. Without asking if she could, without asking if anyone wanted her to, she just came and did what she could do, and with full heart and compassion. The same care she was giving to her House and the people she loved there, she was giving here, in her second home with the people she loved here. Even him. She still came to pet him, to say she cared, even if only briefly. He had never felt so loved nor so lonely in his life. He wondered if this was what parents felt like when they watched their children leave to live their lives, because he was also so very, very proud of her, and grateful. Grateful she hadn't abandoned them, or Clarines.

At that thought, Shidan realized the gift Bodyguard had given him. Life and hope for life and hope. He took a long slow breath and calmed. She was carrying the burden with them. Even if she couldn't give them her life fully, she was walking with them in the way she could. ...He wished she wasn't embarrassed to do it. She was a natural and was so needed. If she'd only come get the credentials, she wouldn't have to be. His heart hurt again for a moment, but he let it go. If she was doing this much, perhaps healing was coming and in time, as she'd said the time before, she would be able to do it - face a Dean again.

He listened for her voice again. "Thayne, why do you smell like Shidan?" It was full of suspicion and Shidan stiffened, listening closely.

"Probably because he passed by while you were back in the stacks. I saw him headed out so didn't say anything. He didn't notice."

There was a long pause, then a sigh. "So he's gone out, has he? Well...I suppose we can stop in to say hi to Izuru. Maybe he'll come back while we're there."

Shidan panicked just slightly. Izuru would tell her he was here in the library. He would have to follow them in quickly. He worked out an alibi, then cautiously looked over the railing. She was not in the library. Thayne - Bodyguard - was standing just inside the door that led to the Pharmacy. He looked up and jerked with his head. Shidan was down the stairs and striding to the door as fast as his long legs could carry him. He paused just long enough to briefly grip Bodyguard's arm on the way. As he opened the door to the Pharmacy he immediately said, "Izuru, they said it would take longer to make than I thought. Can you run back and pick it up for me?"

She jumped and turned to face him, Little Cat's face also looking surprised, though it went to a smile for him. He was relieved. She hadn't heard anything she shouldn't have yet. "Ah, hello! Just a second. Let me write this down for Izuru." He headed straight for his desk and rummaged until he had paper and pen. He scribbled his note and handed it to Izuru. "Can you go right now? It should be ready now. I went there first but it still wasn't done when I passed by on my way back. Make sure you read the note, though. It's got the name of the place on it." When she went to read it, he chivvied her out the door instead, not wanting Little Cat to see what was written.

They were looking at him like he was strange. "I'm sorry," he paused, "I'm in the middle of _that_ phase of research. I can visit while Izuru's picking it up for me, but I'll probably need to be heads down again after that for at least the rest of the day. I hope you're just beginning your visit?" He asked hopefully. Little Cat nodded and Izuru finally left the room, everyone finally buying his alibi. He sagged internally in relief. When he turned back, Little Cat was missing. He panicked again until he heard clinking from behind the herb cabinet. He followed the sound and she was making _him_ tea. He paused and looked at her. Then he folded his arms and looked at her, the proud professor, papa, cat owner. She understood what kind of mental state anyone would be in in _that_ phase of research and had immediately gone to do what should be done when one wants the researcher to be able to relax, even for a few minutes.

She turned and looked into his face and paused, her eyes going wide. She blinked a few times. He held out his hand. "Thank you?" She started and handed over the tea cup.

"What was that for?" she looked at him, curiously.

"What? You went right back into adopted cat mode immediately...or rather researcher mode." He teased her. "I thanked you properly, didn't I?" A mock raised eyebrow.

She have him an impatient look. "I think it was more than that?"

He took a sip of tea, turning slightly from her. "No? I don't think so?"

She snorted, but gave up. He put the teacup down and looked at her, more sober. She was staring at that place by the cabinet again. He looked at it a little more, then back at her. Softly he said, "What do you see?"

She startled badly and looked at him wide eyed, then shook her head and recovered. Wryly she said. "A dream, I suppose." She took a sip of her tea, escaping the same as he'd just done. He didn't press her, but his mind was working on it already, the same as it always had when she presented these small pieces of what was inside her mind and heart.

"Will you be here about as long as last time?" he asked. She nodded. "I'll put tea on when I'm free, then," he said.

She grinned at him and he basked in it. "I suppose that is a convenient method of communication, isn't it?"

"If it draws you in, I'll use whatever," he said. "Some cats have to be tempted in through the door, after all."

"How many of your strays did you have to do that with?" she asked him.

Shidan considered it. "About three, I think, maybe four. They'd stand around outside, and I'd have to figure out how to get them to come in. They were the hardest to get back _out_ the door in the end, too, though. It was like a doorway phobia." She smiled at his joke.

He considered her, looking at the ceiling. "I think you were the most courageous, though. You stood there shivering, but spoke your mind anyway and wouldn't take no for an answer. It was a lot like having one show up, walk through the door with me, then when I turned around to see what had followed me in, you opened your mouth and demanded dinner immediately. I said 'shoo' and when I turned around again, you said, 'See? There's the milk, here's the fish, there's the warm bed. Can I have dinner now?' And all I could do was pick you up and feed you and put you in the warm bed, then watch amazed while you did magical things that no scrawny kitten should be able to do, and hope I didn't get scratched up in the process," he said the last wryly. She blushed.

He looked at her fondly. "And you have done some amazing things." Her blush got deeper. "I'm looking forward to seeing more."

She turned away from him, looking back at that place again, trying to recover. "Shidan, you shouldn't look that way at me," she finally said softly. "Watch what I do, but don't love me too deeply." Her face went soft. "There is someone else I'm waiting for," it was said softly. Then she blinked and looked back up at him, her soft smile for him again. "I will always be Little Cat for Shidan."

Shidan blinked. Had he been looking at her that way? He hadn't thought it. He shook his head. "No, it wasn't that, Little Cat," he said, refusing her insinuation. "It was just pride. I'm really proud of you. You've managed to stay kind and whole even through the terrible years you've walked. I was most afraid of that, that you'd get lost. It relieves me to know that hasn't happened."

Little Cat looked at him and _smiled_. "For Shidan, who taught me to never hit in anger at all, who taught me that to love a stray was the most important thing in all the world. How could I have become something less?"

The wind swirled at their ankles. Little Cat set her cup down, looked at him fondly one more time, and disappeared. Shidan looked down at the ground, then calmly looked back up at Izuru as she came around the corner of the cabinet. "The Dean's walking the library," she said quietly.

Shidan nodded. "Thank you." He held out his hand for her. She looked at him curiously, then rather shyly reached out her hand and let him hold it.

He held it gently, then a little more warmly as he breathed again. "She's become something amazing Izuru, and she still is walking forward, still only beginning."

Izuru moved one step closer and purred, then reached up and wiped his cheek. He looked at her in surprise, then touched his other cheek. He snorted at himself. "Ah, I've turned into a softy," he said quietly. She merely flicked her tail and smiled back.

-o-o-o-

Shidan was sitting in Little Cat's chair, thinking his various thoughts, when suddenly what he was seeing really entered his mind. As it did, his eyes got wider and he sat up from his casual pose. He looked up and down the back of the man standing in front of his eyes and blinked. _'Thayne, why do you smell like Shidan?'_ Her looking at that very spot, soft thoughts making her face soft, saying, ' _There is someone else I'm waiting for.'_ She'd been looking at that very spot since she had come again after the Wistal Castle contingent had come. ...And she was _never_ here when they were. _Eyes that see. I'm protecting you, Shidan._ Her board being for Izana. Not 'King' Izana. Knowing what was going on with Prince Zen's board. His scolding that letting _these_ two come that close to death interfered with her freedom. He all of a sudden couldn't breathe.

He looked up at the short _black_ hair on the bodyguard of the Court Pharmacist, who turned at that moment, wondering why he felt eyes on him. The eyes the same color. The skin as well. "Mister Shidan, are you okay?" Obi had turned completely to face him, the staring worrying him.

"Obi...are there ears or eyes in this room right now?"

Obi stiffened, then carefully he turned his head, listening, feeling. He turned back, frowning. "No, Mister Shidan."

Shidan looked at him, then glanced up. "Are you sure?"

Obi raised an eyebrow and disappeared. He reappeared shortly thereafter, dropping to a crouch in front of him. Quietly he said, "The room is clean, Mister Shidan. What is it?"

Shidan considered him carefully. "There are eyes and ears in Lyrias, and often in here."

Obi was still, then he nodded. "I had wondered. Are they dangerous?"

Shidan considered it. "Not all of them, but some of them are, yes. I do know that I'm being protected, and I've just decided that the three of you are as well. What kind of eyes follow you?"

Obi considered that. "Watchful ones."

Shidan relaxed. "You're sure none of them are in here right now?" Obi nodded, his curiosity finally reaching his eyes. Shidan leaned forward, then shook his head, remembering that the ears were as sensitive as the nose. She knew where Obi stood just by smell. "Bring me pen and paper." Obi was quick to obey. Shidan wrote, _Do you know the name Ilena?_

He watched Obi. The reaction was deep. Obi didn't show much true emotion on the surface. He was as stray cat as it got. Shirayuki held the leash and Shidan was pretty sure Prince Zen was the owner of the collar. The stillness with which Obi held himself was the indicator of how deep this name penetrated. His eyes snapped up to look into Shidan's and the demand in them was sharp, then suddenly erased and calm forced over it. Shidan just watched. The tail twitched just slightly at the tip, a sharp slap. Then one ear, that had been held so sharply forward with its brother, also twitched. The fingers of one hand slowly closed as if the claws had come out on the front paws and were being retracted. The other fingers were already digging into the carpet and the arm and hand muscles were forcibly made to relax. When Obi's mouth opened, Shidan held up a hand and Obi was obediently silent.

Shidan considered what he'd seen, what he'd already deduced. He needed to let Little Cat hunt Obi on her own. This was deeply between the two of them. His answer to Obi needed to be carefully thought out. He didn't want to interfere with her dream. He put pen to paper again. _You look amazingly like her._

He was rewarded with an extremely excited male cat image. The ears pricked forward, the tail came up with a curly twitch and the whole of it leaned forward, all his attention on the words in front of him. When the tawny golden eyes met his again, Shidan smiled, a bright happy smile. The cat did three circles, then asked a question, though Obi held himself rock iron still. Shidan shook his head. _She isn't ready yet. She will come when it's time, when she doesn't have to protect you anymore. She said only a few more years at most. Be patient a little longer._

Obi was staring at him like Shidan had just ignored him and he couldn't figure out why he was still talking. But that's because Shidan was talking to the cat, not Obi. Obi finally reached out and his fingers asked for the pen. Shidan passed it over and held the paper for Obi to write on. _How do you know this one?_

Shidan answered, _She is my star student since she was fourteen._ He couldn't help the pride from welling up again. Obi looked as much at Shidan's face as the written words, which he had only really glanced at. Obi sat back on his heels and looked at Shidan with some confusion, working it out for himself.

Finally he asked for the pen again. _You're from a House originally._

Shidan nodded, one small nod. He'd never admitted it to anyone. Obi added, _Pharmacy_?

Shidan nodded again, then took the pen and wrote, _and more._ Obi's slight raise of the eyebrow was expressive. Shidan added, _linguistics, strategy, and anything she puts her mind to. But she has stayed true to her heart, so I'm relieved._

Obi slumped, collapsing on himself, unable to look at Shidan, though it was a slight movement. Even for Obi that had been his greatest worry. Shidan reached out and rubbed Obi's head between the ears, that were sad, the whiskers droopy from loneliness. When Obi looked back up, Shidan pointed to his earlier note. _She will come...be patient a little longer._ He folded the paper into a small packet and handed it to Obi. "Please burn this for me, immediately. Do not disobey." He said it quietly, so only Obi would hear it. Obi immediately took it from him and walked to the small fire under the tea pot, lighting the paper and watching it burn until it was ashes. For just a moment he paused there, one hand on the table. When he turned back he was back to his normal exterior and he went to stand in his usual place.

Shidan watched him, then watched as he joined in with the conversation with Ryuu and Shirayuki as he always would, moving to join them on the floor and make a funny comment about one of the things Ryuu had drawn, then make a rather insightful comment to the current direction their thinking was going. Shidan felt another part of him relax inside. Little Cat would be going to a good home.

-o-o-o-

Little Cat visited, not too often, but regularly over the time the Wilant Castle Court Pharmacists were present, never when they were in the pharmacy. Shidan made sure to update her on all three each time she and he visited in the night over tea. She was always calmly glad to hear about Ryuu and Shirayuki, but when he gave updates and anecdotes about Obi, her eyes sparkled, and her cat-posture said she was as lonely for him as he was for her. He was careful to not overdo. It wouldn't be good to make her break her promise to herself to keep Obi and the others safe until her task was done.

He didn't ask her to see the Dean anymore. The Dean had come to his office after he'd heard for himself from the students in the library about the girl named Ilena who had visited with them that day and helped them move forward in their research. Shidan had smiled proudly to himself in a proprietary way as the Dean animatedly discussed the absent but still visible young woman he wanted as Assistant Dean.

"Did you talk to the one named Flandras?" Shidan asked him as he was winding down.

"I know Flandras," the Dean said. "We don't have a proper professor for him. He has two statistics professor and one that is close but not good enough for the other side - strategy. He wanted to come here instead of Sereg because they don't have high enough professors of mathematics to handle his needs. Plus he isn't interested in the actual methodologies of battling. He wants theoretical and there aren't any there at the moment. We are all a bit distressed, but trying our best to help him."

Shidan nodded. "But did you talk to him today?"

The Dean considered it. "I think he just said, 'Yes, I got to speak with Miss Ilena today'." He looked at Shidan quizzically.

Shidan shook his head at stoic logical minded researchers. Perhaps Flandras hadn't run into his road block yet to understand. "How long has he been here?"

"Mmmm...about four months, I think?"

That was it. He gave the Dean a secret smile. "I don't think you need to worry too much about him having a proper professor. It will be infrequent, I'm sure, but he will get his push when he needs it."

The Dean was still looking quizzical, then suspicious. "Wait, Shidan, is _she_ helping him?"

Shidan's smile split his face and the Dean's face went to shock. "Not only was she keeping up with him, she was leading him. She's already his professor, in word, deed, and feel. He's as adopted as any pet student."

The Dean was quivering. "How - how do you know?"

"Serendipity. I was in the right place at the right time to receive a favor from a long time ago and I got to hear her work the entire library. She saved Flandras for last and I wept to hear it." He was not ashamed to admit it to the Dean who was himself tearing up. "I was told she's embarrassed by it, though, and that if I tell her I know she'll likely stop." He tried to turn his sad face firm, but it was difficult. "I won't betray that, Dean. We need her doing exactly what she's doing."

"But if she'd only come get the diplomas!" The Dean said in agony.

Shidan nodded. "I know. I wish it, too. It would be nice...I'm hoping...if we let her she will heal and finally come of her own accord. Last time, she admitted that when it was time, maybe she'd be able to do it. That was a pretty good concession, actually."

The Dean nodded, but his face was still twisted with internal agony. "I agree, but I don't know, Shidan. If she's being his strategy professor, we may need her before she's ready. I've already been told that if they can't test him properly...he may not get his degree." His face fell and Shidan felt the old fear stab his heart again.

"Can we call in a strategy professor from Sereg?" he asked.

"That's the only other solution I've been able to come up with," the Dean wrung his hands. "We aren't on the best of terms, you know, the two schools, and he wouldn't go there. If they can forgive it, then maybe, but the diploma will be from here not there, so I'm concerned. It may take some negotiation, which is doable, but the final outcome concerns me."

Shidan nodded, thinking. "Keep that as a back-up, but let me work my contacts. Maybe we can get an outside influence to help get our little stray cat back here and pinned down long enough."

The Dean relaxed in utmost relief. "Thank you, Shidan."

Not pressuring Little Cat about talking to the Dean made her relax just a little more, which made life all around easier when she came to visit. Shidan had made his contacts and was content to let them decide what they would do about it, so life became comfortable, routine, happy for the most part, except the usual research angst that came when it usually did during its normal phases. She came for Ryuu and Shirayuki's graduation, though only Shidan and Izuru knew it. She was very pleased for both of them, as if she had been an assistant professor for Shidan, even though she'd only been his moral support. He didn't disabuse her of it, though. He wanted her to feel what that felt like. One more temptation to get her to forgive her past and want it for herself in the future.

When Shirayuki, Ryuu, and Obi left the university to return to their court appointed tasks, the pharmacy was very quiet. It took all of the rest of the Lyrias contingent a while to not be wondering when Obi's voice would crack a joke and Shirayuki's laugh ring out through the room. They all looked down at their feet when they walked through the space Ryuu used to lie down in to write his works on his papers, and felt just a little sad when there wasn't anything there to step over or around. Shidan hid in his own work - his usual escape from the sadness of losing a student he particularly enjoyed - but more frequently than normal, he found himself in Little Cat's chair with Izuru perched on the arm of it purring as he held onto the back of her lab coat, jumping just a little in surprise every time he realized he was actually touching her.

She finally looked back over her shoulder one night and sighed. "If I hated it, Shidan, I would have already told you to stop. I miss them, too."

He gave her a rueful, embarrassed look, but after that he didn't jump anymore when he woke up from his musings and one night he said, "How is it possible to miss three people so much?" She just smiled and twitched her tail, ...then patted his knee since that was right next to her. He froze, then remembered her comment and forced himself to relax, but he was embarrassed again.

One night he found himself, instead of sitting in the chair - pacing. He stopped and was astonished at himself. He turned and looked for Izuru, looked under his arm and around behind himself, turning in a complete circle.

"What is it, Shidan?" Izuru asked, having seen the search around his person when she came around the corner of the cabinet.

He looked at her, puzzled, walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, then took her to the arm of the chair and sat her on it. "Stay there a bit." She looked at him a little nonplussed, but settled in to watch him, crossing one leg over the other.

He moved back to where he was before and found himself in front of the teapot, pouring tea. He put it to his nose, then drank a bit, then clunked the tea cup down and stood frozen. "She's been gone too long." He turned towards Izuru. "I'm missing Little Cat. She would have come at least once, and maybe even twice by now before." His shoulders drooped and he sighed at himself. "If they aren't here, she's keeping watch over them where they are. That's on the other side of the country." He changed out the tea from Little Cat's favorite to Izuru's favorite and took her a cup of it. Her eyebrow was raised. "What?" he asked her.

"Was it necessary to trade out the tea? It was perfectly acceptable tea, wasn't it?"

Shidan looked at his tea cup, then sat down philosophically. "It isn't what _you_ want."

She froze and for a long time very nervously sat in her place, stiffly drinking when she remembered to. Shidan's lip twitched, and he didn't touch her that night, knowing she would flee under the bed if he did. He'd confused her and she didn't know what to do about it.

-o-o-o-

Shidan sat down to his desk and opened up the packet he'd received in that day's mail. He'd been waiting to look at it, since it was thick, until he really had time to devote to it. It was from Wilant Castle, Head Court Pharmacist Ryuu. He'd been excited, but had refrained. He opened the flap and slid out the document inside. _Practical Applications of the Street Drug 'The Little Death' and Methodologies for Gentle Retrieval of Addicts_. He stared at the title. It could be said that was a random research topic. From a Court Pharmacist it was almost ludicrous. From gentle Ryuu, completely unbelievable. Except that he would certainly want to take the addicts off of the terrible drug. Surely it wasn't that big a problem in Wilant.

His eyes scanned down to the main researcher name. Elliot, with his credentials after his name. So, already a graduate in his own right, but...for surgery? That didn't necessarily compute either. The next name on the list made his breath catch and he was up out of his chair, his heart beating rapidly. The paper in his hands shook with increasing severity. He barely registered Ryuu's name listed third. Taking three gasping breaths because his body demanded the air, he suddenly turned and ran, not seeing anything, holding onto the paper as if it might be ripped from his grip and it was his life-line.

"The Dean, is he in?" his voice was strained, croaking, almost too loud.

The Dean's secretary looked up and took in his wide eyes and sweaty brow and blinked. "Yes, ..."

Shidan was already at his door, pulling it open, entering, and closing it behind him. He took the three strides to make it to the Dean's desk and slammed the paper down, completely unable to speak. He had to let his expression do the talking, that and his very visible shaking.

"Shidan?! Are you okay?" the Dean turned from his work to look up, worried. Shidan shook his head and impatiently shook the paper, still unwilling to let it go.

The Dean dropped his eyes to it, looking as confused by the title as Shidan had been. He put a gentle, meaty hand on the paper to still it enough he could read the names on it. He got to the second name and froze, his breath stopping completely, like Shidan's had.

"Where...?" the Dean's voice was breathy and distant.

"Wilant Castle," Shidan said with conviction.

The Dean's head came up, then looked down at the paper again. He stood and went immediately to his secretary, demanding she look up the records on the graduate, Elliot, from surgery. Two minutes later he came back into his office, carrying a file. He flipped through it, then said, "He was called up by a patron before he graduated, but his paperwork came back and so did he for the final." The Dean turned on his heel and Shidan followed him, still holding his paper tightly.

They rushed to the library, Shidan almost dancing in impatience as the Dean hunted through the submitted papers until he triumphantly pulled out Elliot's thesis. There, on the front under Elliot's name, was Ilena's name again. Shidan sagged against the bookcase. Four-five-six. Six papers with her name on it. He started shivering again. The Dean wasn't in much better shape - pale and trying to swallow.

Shidan suddenly remembered the topic of the paper he was holding and he was hit with a sudden suspicion. He flipped to the first page and scanned the summary. He didn't really like what it insinuated. He started walking to the closest set of chairs available. He read the one in his hands while the Dean read the one he'd picked out. When they were done, they paused and blinked at each other, then traded papers and started reading again. When they came up for air again, they just sat for a while. "Why?" the Dean asked. "Why would she be willing to be the experimental subject for this man?"

Shidan shook his head. Slowly he said, "When she was here working under me, she was trying to find a way to help the people around her, in her place." He paused, thinking it through as best his scrambled brain could. "If Elliot had been called up by her House...maybe she was using him to help them still. She would have been willing to do it for their sake." He looked into the Dean's eyes. "She's like that."

"But...those are rather awful things...the Little Death...," the Dean was looking faint.

Shidan nodded, frowning at the paper in the Dean's hand. "But Ryuu sent it, and his name's on it...so something happened." He looked away for a bit, remembering that she'd been watching over them, too. She'd never made contact with them, at least when Obi was around. But she also had wanted Ryuu. Maybe she'd been able to make contact with him once he'd been made Head Court Pharmacist. He nodded, that could be it. If she'd wanted to get the paper reviewed properly, maybe she'd finally sent it to him, or at least the researcher. He nodded. That would make sense. "Even if she didn't go herself to the castle, she would have sent Elliot, so Ryuu could review the research and see it was properly handled." He pursed his lips and held his hand out for the paper. "I'll send a letter to Ryuu immediately. If it hasn't been too long, maybe he, or Elliot, can tell us where she is."

The Dean handed the paper over and rose with Shidan. "Do that. I'll cover the expense for it be sent expeditiously. The sooner we let him know to hold her down, the better."

Shidan nodded and went immediately to his office. He carefully set down the research paper and pulled out a pen and blank letter paper. He took a few minutes to calm down enough to compose what he wanted to say, then set to writing. He reviewed Ryuu's letter that had come with the paper, and saw it was an initial draft for review. He jotted down his notes in that regard at the end, then called his fastest student to him and gave him instructions to see it was sent by fastest courier to the Head Court Pharmacist immediately.

Once the letter was on it's way, he picked up the paper, trembling slightly again, and sank down into her chair. Right now he needed the sense he got of her putting her arms around him that the chair gave him sometimes. It was dark when Izuru gently tugged the paper out from between his arm and his chest and pulled him to his bed, made him lie down, and tucked the blanket around him. Then she stayed and gently pet his head until he fell asleep.

Shidan went through the next eight days in a daze. He was grateful with Izuru immediately brought him the letter from Ryuu when it came. He quickly ripped it open and ran his eyes over the neat, painstaking writing of the boy genius. It wasn't news to him, really, but the Dean would be unhappy. He sighed, both sad for the Dean, and relieved. Little Cat was finally making her final moves. She was finally at the door of the house she really wanted to be living in. He sincerely hoped she'd be taken in this time, and properly cared for. He allowed Izuru to read it and she sagged in relief as well, though her eyes were as guarded as his were. It wasn't a done deal yet. "I'll be back. The Dean wants to know," he told her and she nodded.

The Dean looked up at Shidan after reading the letter, his face a mask as he hid his disappointment. "Well, I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that if the Prince learned what she is, he'd want to keep her," the Dean allowed.

Shidan looked at him in sympathy and nodded. "Wherever she is, she will work for the good of Clarines," he said. The Dean nodded, his eyes bright. Shidan reached over and put his hand on the Dean's forearm. "She's far better off there than where she was. I'm sure if she gets the chance, she'll come visit, and now you have perhaps an ally to fulfill your promises - our promises." The Dean looked down and nodded. Shidan paused a little longer, then politely left the Dean to deal with his disappointment in solitude.

-o-o-o-

Nearly a year after Shirayuki and Ryuu's graduation, things had settled back down to normal again. Letters arrived from Wilant Castle from Shirayuki about the same time that notices from the Castle itself arrived at the Dean's and other high offices. Yuzuri, the bouncy, vivacious botanist who had helped with all of their works to date and who had claimed the Court Pharmacists as hers, arrived as well, brandishing her own letter from Shirayuki. "They've done it! They've finally done it!" Yuzuri crowed as she stood in the entry of the Pharmacy.

Everyone stopped and grinned at her. "We know," one of the others who had received the invitation said, holding his up. Shidan moved up to stand leaning on one shoulder, arms crossed, one foot up on the toe against the herb cabinet. A small smile was on his lips. Shirayuki could cause a stir here even if she wasn't present in person.

Yuzuri's face fell just briefly that she wasn't the first to let them know, then was right back up, happy they'd been invited, too. "So, are you all going?" she demanded to know.

Everyone turned to look at Shidan. "I'm staying. You're all going."

"No way!" There were general cries of dismay. "But you have to go!"

Shidan shook his head. "No, I have to _stay_. It's my responsibility to see to this place in any circumstances. We can't leave it unmanned. I'll get to congratulate them when she comes for the fall requirement, and he won't stay behind, now that he's got her next to him. It's the same with the Dean. He'll also be here to stay. He's been wanting to get the ear of the Regent for a while now, so they'll both come because of that, too. But any of you who want to go, are free to. Just don't stay over long. This place weighs a lot without all of you and my shoulders aren't getting any younger." He winked at them. When they had nattered on long enough he scolded them and set them back to working, roping Yuzuri in as well since she'd showed up, though she complained at him for it. He set her to work anyway.

"Shidan," it was quietly said and he finished writing his sentence, then turned to look at Izuru.

"Yes?" he asked her calmly. She looked a bit nervous.

"If it's all right, I - I don't think I should leave you alone. I'd like to stay."

"If it's what you want to do, that's fine by me," he said calmly, leaving his hands loosely in his lap, his lanky legs stretched out in front of him. "As long as it's what _you_ want to do." He blinked at her. "It would be okay if you wanted to vacation with the others, as well. I don't mind." He tipped his head at her. His white house cat wasn't fond of going out of doors and her head was swinging uncertainly side to side and her tail switched low on the ground nervously where she was crouched on all fours low to the ground.

He watched her, waiting. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the fingers rubbing each other and she shifted from foot to foot. Finally she sighed and he saw the cat settle down on the ground. "I'd really rather stay. I can give my congratulations when they come, too. That's really good enough for me."

Shidan nodded. "Okay. I'll welcome your company ...and very much your help. It's been a long time since I've carried this thing without it."

The cat wrapped its tail around itself and sighed as Izuru sighed. "Well, there is that. It would probably fall apart with only just you here."

He laughed, reached out and rubbed the top of her head. "That it would, most likely." Izuru blushed, but didn't pull away, and the cat let him rub her head with only a little twitch of the ear. He turned away before it got too much, though, and returned to his notes. She shifted a little more, then moved to her place and settled with a sigh. That put things to rights and he was gone, back into his research again.

-o-o-o-

When they all returned from the Royal Wedding and Announcement, nothing would do but for them all to close down the Pharmacy and drag Shidan and Izuru out to a local restaurant to regale them, and the whole establishment, with the story of it. It was a wild and raucous evening with the story being told multiple times and people talking over each other and sometimes around each other as well. When Shidan and Izuru were finally able to tear themselves away, it was quite late.

As they walked down the street back to the University, Izuru took hold of Shidan's jacket and held on without saying anything. Shidan finally looked down at her. "What is it?" He had his hands in his pockets to keep them warm in the late fall, early winter weather. She had her mittens on. Lyrias was the highest altitude city in Clarines and winters came early here, but the residents were all used to the weather and always dressed for it.

"It's you I'm worried about," she answered him finally.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?" She paused, not sure how to say it. "No," he said, "wait until we're at tea."

She nodded and they continued to walk companionably to the Pharmacy, though she didn't let go until they were through the door and taking off their coats. She took his to put away and he slowly walked to the tea pot. As he tried to decide what tea to pick, he stopped. It shouldn't be that hard a decision. Slowly his hand clenched into a fist and he closed his eyes and his jaw muscle twitched.

Warm arms slipped around his middle from behind him and Izuru rested her head against his back, just a little timidly. He held still, needing the comfort, then put his hand on her arm so that she released him just enough. He turned around to face her and she looked up into his face, then took his hand and led him to the chair... _her_ chair...and sat him in it. She knelt on the ground in front of him, upright and held his hands in hers, wiping his cheeks first with one of her hands. "What is it, Shidan?" she asked him.

"He...I know we don't know because they couldn't remember her name, but...he...Little Cat," he couldn't go on and she pulled his head to her shoulder as he cried.

"Obi...was supposed to be Little Cat's?" she finally asked him. "Is that why she would come?"

Shidan nodded into her shoulder. She pet him until he calmed enough to fall asleep...in _her_ chair, grieving for _her_ sake. When royal marriages were arranged there was little anyone could do. Shirayuki and Zen being married was a fairy tale wedding, an almost unheard of thing. Princes were reserved for alliances. It was likely only the alliance with Tanbarun, Shirayuki being titled as the only Friend of the the Royal Family of Tanbarun, made it possible at all. No one knew who the new Second Princess was that had been given Obi, who should have been Little Cat's. They only knew she'd been recognized by the King and Prince as a Wisteria, even though she didn't look like one, not having the signature white hair.

The others were excited for Obi's sake because they loved him too, and to be raised up to Consort to a Princess was as big a deal as Shirayuki becoming First Princess, nearly, but Shidan knew. Knew that a stray cat was somewhere crying tonight, and had been crying since probably before the announcement. It cut him, and he could only hope she would come here where he could hold her and pet her and help her heal.

The next day, it got worse. The Dean came to see Shidan, a sober look on his face. "You know we've been concerned about Flandras." Shidan, his eyes already bloodshot and feeling terrible could only nod. The Dean did stop and think about whether or not he should say anything right at the moment, bless his soul, but it needed saying, so he took a breath and tried to be gentle. "He's been put on the watch list."

Shidan felt like another hole had been shot through his heart, and the tears rose to the surface again, and he clenched his hands. The Dean put his hand on Shidan's shoulder. "I don't know, Dean," he whispered. "I don't know where to find her. I would if I could. She's crying alone," the tears dripped and the Dean tightened his hold on him, his own jaw clenching. "Consort Obi was supposed to be hers. ...To lose her student, too," Shidan closed his eyes, not able to take sight right at the moment. He couldn't imagine she would stay at the castle to watch Obi being someone else's. It wouldn't be a place she could call home.

The Dean, surprised at the other news, finally moaned, and his other hand was fumbling for his own handkerchief, to dab at his forehead, then wipe his nose (and surreptitiously his eyes). Shidan could feel his hand start to tremble. "Will - will we lose both of them?" The Dean's strained voice begged for relief from his fear.

Shidan shook his head. "No. I think she'll come here before giving up. Here is where she learned that. We need to teach it to him, too. Help him hang on until she gets here." He looked away from the Dean. "He may have to wait to graduate, though. She may have to heal before that can happen, but she'll probably have enough in her to help him through the insurmountable problem. She won't want to lose him either."

The Dean nodded and took a deep breath and his hand back, though then both wrung his handkerchief with worry. Shidan looked down at his clasped hands, hanging loosely between his knees. He hadn't been able to leave _her_ chair all day and _her_ tea was simmering in the pot, a message to please come back to him. The tears would hit him suddenly so Izuru was minding the floor and keeping everyone away from him, though they were terribly confused. His only other possible ray of hope was that she was somehow the Second Princess, even though that seemed so fanciful. He had a few stray clues that it _might_ just be possible. He was trying to get to the point where that would be enough to cling to so he could move forward again.

"Watch him, Dean. Call me if you need to. Since I know her I might be able to help him."

"...Can I send him down to talk to you? Getting out of his lab would help. ...You know how it is."

Shidan nodded. He'd sent Little Cat down to the Observatory more than once to get her head wrapped around reality again to bring back the hope just a little, Bodyguard sitting watch over her, and sometimes one of the other students to talk her back, while he worked on it for her, trying to find what she might have missed. Flandras didn't even have that much. "Yes, send him here. Maybe it will help me find the hope, too. Give me until tomorrow, though." He gave a small, wry grimace. "Today I'd only make it worse."

The Dean nodded, patted him on the shoulder a couple of times, then left him alone. Shidan took a deep breath. Maybe he needed a walk, too. He stood and wrapped his coat around him, tying his scarf on, too, just to hide his face in and as a back-up handkerchief. Izuru came around the corner as he jammed his hat on low over his face, hoping to hide his eyes at least a little.

"Shidan?" she asked worried, coming to take his hand and hold it tightly.

He looked at her and gave her a small smile. "I need to clear my head and see the sky. I'll come back, I promise. ...If she comes...keep her here. I won't be gone long." Izuru nodded, her eyes holding her worry. Shidan pulled the scarf down enough to give her a kiss on the top of her head. "Thanks." She walked with him, then let his hand slip out of hers before they made it to public space. He didn't really want to let her go, but... He took a deep breath and walked out of the Pharmacy as calmly as possible without looking at anyone.

He looked around the library for any sign of her, listening, but not hearing what he wanted to hear. He hit the cool air, not really cold enough yet for how bundled he was, but the extra layers and warmth felt like a warm blanket barrier against the world. He just wandered the streets, finding himself looking at the shop he bought her the clothes from, then finding himself outside the bathhouse. He looked at the entrance, then the tree branch, then finally turned to the porch and looked for a long time, having to wipe his eyes a few times to see it.

His feet took him past the Stock Pot Inn, where he only watched it as his feet kept going to places he didn't know. Slowly he did start breathing again. Slowly, the exercise got his heart beating again. Slowly his mind returned to him. He was just starting to look around to get his bearings when a small hand slipped into his. He looked down in surprise. A young child was holding his hand, looking up at him with a smile and eyes that were filled with light. His heart skipped a beat. For just a second, though this one was much younger than fourteen, he was looking at Little Cat.

The child tugged on his hand. "Come with me, Mister Shidan," she said, her light voice kindly asking. "It's okay. It's a safe place."

His curiosity piqued, he allowed himself to be led by the hand to a small eating place in this part of the town he didn't know well that his feet had led him to. When he entered, hands removed his hat, scarf - which he grabbed and held onto around his neck, needing the soft comfort of it still - and it was left, and coat. The child led him to a table, but he got hugs all along the way from people he didn't know at all, male and female, of many ages.

He was seated against the wall, at a central table, so he could see everyone in the room and they could see him. He stared at them, not knowing what to do or say, or why he was even there. They all gave him kind, sympathetic looks in return. When the child removed herself from the table and he was sufficiently settled a thin man with a scar on his jaw sat down across the table from him and folded his hands on the table, resting on his arms. He looked like a street cat, full of the wisdom that had kept him alive, but also the calm bearing of one that had taken care of other cats, leading them to food and safe bedding.

"Mister Shidan. The Children of the Pharmacy have not told you what you need to hear." The eyes of the man in front of him were light like the child's and as he looked around again, all of the eyes in the room were light. He nodded. They hadn't. He knew that much. "We have watched you walking and seen your darkness and have decided to come out of hiding and silence. We understand all too well what you're feeling. We lost Mother for most of the summer. We would rather not have you live that, since you're our charge. We've been your protectors, and your benefactors. We are Mother's Children, those she freed from her House, and from the darkness, because you taught her and helped her to live also. Because we are grateful, we won't hide the good news from you until she comes again with Mistress Shirayuki." The man's eyes crinkled up with the smile that was trying to come on his lips. " _Take a breath,_ " he whispered.

Shidan obediently took a deep breath. He'd actually been holding his breath, he realized. He held up a hand. "Wait, I can tell you're going to tell me more than I can handle all at once. Let me catch up." The man nodded and sat patiently. So did all the room. Shidan was amazed. He looked around the room again, average-counting this time. It was full. Every table with more than could reasonably hold them, many standing, though not to prevent others from seeing. " _All_ of you watch over me?" He got lots of nods. "You don't fit." He got laughs.

"Not all at once," the man in front of him said. "And it's a chain when you're on the move."

Shidan nodded. He understood that. "And for Shirayuki and the others when they were here, was it also you?"

The man in front of him paused, then said, "We did, but the numbers were greater. After all, they traveled the city. You stay in one spot fairly well." He did grin this time and Shidan answered it with a lift of the lips.

Shidan did the brief calculation then was surprised. "She has _that_ many Children in this city?"

The man blinked. "I think that number is too much for you today," he answered calmly.

Shidan swallowed and agreed but pondered on it. She had been, from the time she started with him at least, working on freeing people for ten years now. "She has been very busy," he whispered, in awe. He received a nod. Tears sprang to his eyes. "How happy she must be."

Smiles, just like hers, blossomed on the faces in front of him, and he blinked at the brightness of them. "You know her well," the man in front of him agreed. "Will you hear our news, so you can be also?"

Shidan took a deep breath and his heart wanted to leap out of his chest. He tried to hold it down. He finally closed his eyes and nodded. "Mother is Mistress Ilena Polov Wisteria, Second Princess of Clarines. You know her as Little Cat. Her Consort and Lord Husband is Obi Melick. They both stand together at the side of Regent Zen behind Princess Shirayuki. Mother is free."

He opened his eyes long enough to see the truth of the words, then lifted his scarf to cover his eyes and sobbed. Several pairs of arms wrapped around him and held him. When he reached the point that he was surprised he could even still have tears from all his crying from the night before until now, he was finally able to recover. He wiped his face and was handed a mug of water, which he drained. He handed it back with a shy 'thanks'. He was given a rub of the head and a kind smile and his eyes widened just a little at it, particularly when he wanted to lean into it and it resumed for a brief moment more until he moved. He looked around the room again, his eyes a little narrow. "Are _all_ of you cats?"

He got laughs again, and the man in front of him said, "She is _Mother_ , Shidan. Even yours. You are also a cat. She adopted you, remember?"

He stopped and remembered. He sighed. "Yeah," he nodded. He guessed he'd always known he was one too, just never acknowledged it. He wondered if she'd pet him the next time she came. He'd like that if she did. That thought brought him up short and he shook himself. "So, the Princess the kids couldn't remember the name of is Ilena - Little Cat?" The man across from him nodded, still patient. "And she did get Obi and Obi got her?" He nodded again. Shidan relaxed. He didn't ask to verify the other. He'd cry again. He would think on it little by little until it sunk in. "Good. That was my straw. She'd left just enough clues that I could wonder if it was true." There were nods again. He looked at the spokesman curiously.

"She always leaves clues everywhere, like a child leaves bits of clothing and toys. She doesn't keep secrets very well because of it, but we don't let on, she's having so much fun."

Shidan laughed. He couldn't help it. The whole room lit up. "That's a good one. That should keep me going for a while," he chuckled. He looked at the spokesman again, who was looking at him with a much calmer expression himself. "Please tell her...Flandras has hit the insurmountable problem and was put on the watch list today. I'll do all I can to keep him going, but the other professors say it's in the statistics. He needs her." His words and eyes were soft.

The spokesman nodded at him. "We'll tell her, but she moves to the will of the Regent now, so has to move at his pace. They began the fall requirement today so are on their way, but he has included an entire Wilant progression with it to introduce themselves, since even he is new. It will be several weeks before they arrive."

Shidan sat back, relieved. "We can do that. If he knows that help is coming that soon, he should be able to hold on. He's already gone five months." Breaths were taken in and he looked around.

The spokesman shook his head. "That's about how long we were without her. We know how hard that is."

Shidan was puzzled. "You said that before. Will you tell me?"

The room settled into 'listen to the storyteller' mode and he settled comfortably with them.*

-o-o-o-

When Yuzuri showed up at the Pharmacy in the late evening to tell her grand story, that Ilena was the Second Princess, Shidan just smiled at her the whole time. Izuru scolded her soundly for missing that one piece of data and making Shidan (and herself) cry. Yuzuri apologized deeply. She had known that Ilena and Izuru were friends but in her carefree manner, and because of the secretiveness of both Pharmacists, hadn't understood other things, which Shidan reminded Izuru of so she relented early.

Shidan had told Izuru, and the Dean, that all was well and he had received the full proper story when he'd gone out walking. He was so glad that he'd been reminded of that one simple saving step for when the insurmountable problem is being faced. His grief and worry had been completely swept away with the joy of knowing of her freedom and the accomplishment of her goals. He offered it on several occasions to Flandras as well, so he was able to diligently continue to press forward until she should come. Flandras also agreed that a few weeks was a possible goal. When it became too stressful, he showed up at the Pharmacy and Shidan gave him tea and let him just sit and be in the different environment to rest his mind.

Seventeen days later, after Mother's light had been brought back to Shidan, there was a whirl of wind on his ankles and he took two steps back and leaned back to look at who had entered. His whole being lit up and he was moving forward immediately. "Shirayuki! Prince Zen! It is so good to see you. Congratulations." He shook Prince Zen's hand, then gave a brief hug to Shirayuki, surprising her. Then he looked at the two he most wanted to see and he couldn't contain his smile, nor his happiness at seeing them.

"So...," he couldn't prevent the tease, "I hear you've finally gotten hitched, Ilena. I'd have to say you're probably the last person this place would have expected to see it happen to." He looked at Obi from the corner of his eyes, "Except Obi, and certainly not to him. You spent a lot of time avoiding these two." He raised his eyebrow at her mockingly, "Or, is that why you did get him? You didn't want him to know just how much you liked him?"

Little Cat put her hand to her head, blushing red for the first time ever in Shidan's presence. "Shidan. That really is enough. You wouldn't have me since you're going to wait here for the rest of your life instead of knocking sense into _that_ woman, so I took the one Zen told me to take." Shidan could feel his eyebrows raising. She had both stories wrong and he wondered if it was on purpose. "Though I can see Yuzuri had to come tell you the story as soon as she left us. I wonder if she told the real one or threw in half her made up stuff again."

Shidan laughed himself silly, inside. She was keeping secrets still. He would have to get the truth out of her later, but for now..., he turned to Obi, "So what was it really?"

Obi sighed. "Ilena came and knocked some sense into me and I said yes."

Shidan was surprised. "That really works?"

Obi shrugged. "It did in my case."

Shidan wasn't surprised about that. He already knew how much Obi had missed her and wanted her, too.

"Ilena," Prince Zen called. He was looking at her suspiciously and Shidan tasted the beginning of victory. "Just how much time did you spend here at Lyrias?"

Ilena shrugged. Shidan wasn't going to let her get away with that. He laughed. "Enough to become a fully qualified researcher of about four subjects - linguistics: written and spoken, pharmacy, and surgery. That's why no one can really believe it. She was married to her research, when she was here, just like any other good researcher."

Zen and Obi both narrowed their eyes at her. Shidan was amused she had kept it secret even this long, but not surprised. They would both help him get _his_ other dream. "Ilena...," she looked away from them, "you said you weren't allowed to leave the side of the earl."

"Well," she answered defensively, "I already explained it to Obi - which earl I was with wasn't necessarily the same one all the time. Remember the third earl, the one you found here in Lyrias?"

Zen's eyes were still narrow. "Yes."

Ilena shifted nervously, the cat being scolded by her Master. "He was a researcher here. Whenever he wanted to come up out of his lab to do research, or attend conferences, Marcovik had to send me here. That was his payment for the jobs he did for Marcovik. It was pretty boring, so I kept myself occupied." Both Zen and Obi weren't buying it and snorted in disbelief. Shidan himself was surprised. He'd never known this part. He didn't believe the 'boring' part either and he shook his head.

"Okay, that makes sense," Zen said, "but why didn't you tell me you had diplomas in those fields from the beginning?"

Ilena rolled her eyes and looked away. Shidan saw the cat trying to roll away and escape the game, wanting to hid under the table, but collared and leashed as she was, she couldn't move and had to answer. He was feeling very satisfied right now, but he relented and laughed and pat her head a few times to calm her down. This one _could_ still choose to use her claws, though she probably wouldn't in this case. "She works very hard, Prince Zen, but she never did let the Dean give her the diplomas."

Zen was surprised and asked him, "Why not?"

Shidan shrugged. There was too much to that story to tell it here when she was already struggling. Zen looked back at Ilena and she flushed and finally had to succumb to the cat's fear. She scooted behind Shidan, hiding from the others behind her hands. Shidan nodded. They'd pushed her too far. He looked at Zen. "I think you should ask the Dean that, perhaps, Prince Zen."

The prince got a sour look on his face. He wasn't pleased to not get her answer from her. "I think I will."

Shidan danced inside. He was really going to see it today. Today of all days. To restrain his excitement, he turned to Shirayuki. "It's good to see you again, Shirayuki. How are things at the castle?"

Shirayuki smiled. "Much better, now that Zen and I are married. I had to step away from the pharmacy to do that, though, so it's been nice to get back to it on this trip."

Shidan was surprised it had only taken the summer for it to happen. Of course she put the pharmacy on hold. "And how are the _Olin Maris_ plants doing?" He wanted the Regent upstairs talking to the Dean as soon as possible. Shirayuki handed him the report from her progress. She was so diligent. Already completed and immediately handing it in. He shook his head at her while she gave him a short verbal summary. He opened it, but only pretended to read it. Obi was on the move and Shidan wanted to watch. He could feel Little Cat shifting ever so slightly away from Obi as he hunted. He wondered if she'd stay put or flee. Obi paused, and Shidan could tell he'd sensed her break point. Obi motioned to Zen for help and Shidan was surprised when the young Regent immediately complied, coming at Little Cat from the opposite direction. Little Cat panicked, feeling them both. Shidan held very still. He didn't want to be clawed. All he could see was a kitten trying to climb up him to the top of his head, tiny sharp claws poking as she went up. That wouldn't work, of course, so she had to choose something else. She started shivering and his heart went out to her. She was too panicked. He looked over his shoulder at her and soothingly said, "Really, Ilena. It will be alright." She shook her head, not moving her hands. He wanted to pet her, but had his hands full and if he moved, the hunters would jump.

And they did just then anyway. Zen first, then Obi. Ilena chose Obi, who wrapped her in his arms, but Shidan could see it was a warm, loving hold, not an angry or punishing one. He smiled at her. She really had gone to a good home. It was proven by Zen's words. "You don't have to say it, Ilena." He was soothing her, as if stroking her fur, to calm her. Shidan almost wept with gratitude right there. They understood Little Cat.

"Master isn't angry, Ilena," Obi was petting her, literally, just like she needed. "He is just curious. You are still full of surprises, you know." Zen nodded and Shidan was in agreement. _He_ knew very little about her, for having known her for ten years. "See, even he said it," Obi said in his usual agreeable way. She wouldn't move, and Shidan could see she was still hiding under the bed, her tail tucked under her, shivering. But Obi's arms were comfort, too. She was in her safest, most comforting hiding place. It warmed Shidan to see it, but the next step was to leave them alone so Obi could get her out from under the bed. He turned to Zen. "I would like to spend about an hour or two in deep research discussion with Shirayuki. I'm not sure that would be to your tastes so much. Perhaps you could come back? We'll need interrupting, I'm sure."

Zen hesitated, and Shidan could see he was reluctant to leave his new bride's side. His lip lifted in humor. "It will be worse than the time I tried to sit in your meeting with the first garrison captain," Shirayuki agreed with Shidan.

 _Oh, the problems of young love,_ Shidan laughed to himself. Trying to fit such dissimilar roles together must be giving them fits.

"Then, I'll find things to occupy me," Zen answered her, his love oozing for Shidan to see. He was glad this Prince could be happy.

Shirayuki walked over to him and kissed him lightly. Shidan's eyebrow rose. If this went on much longer, he was going to have to air out the Pharmacy. "Thank you, Zen. We'll see you in a while." Shidan had to move out of the super-sweet zone, so he turned and moved to lead Shirayuki back to his desk, but he looked at Little Cat one more time. He was so happy and contented to see her exactly where she needed to be and belonged - in Obi's arms, her home, no longer a stray.

Remembering her sharp hearing, Shidan let Shirayuki talk on about the things that she had done and seen on her journey as he searched his desk for clean paper and his pen, putting the report on the desk to the side. He heard Zen leave the room. That was what Little Cat needed...and was what Shidan wanted. He would be going up to the Dean's office now, most likely. His curiosity needed answers. Shidan looked at Shirayuki significantly. She stopped talking and looked at him curiously. He put pen to paper. _When Obi takes Ilena out we'll wait a bit, then go, too._ He looked up at Shirayuki. She looked up at him eyes wide. He put his finger to his lips and wrote further, _We've been waiting for this day for a long time. The Dean won't let her get away without giving her the diplomas today. We'll need to prepare to give her the Pharmacy exam, orally. Will you take general knowledge and test her on the things she needs to know, in your informed opinion?_

Shirayuki gaped at him and Shidan put his finger to his lips again. It looked like she wanted to blurt out things she shouldn't. Izuru came up, almost sideway, looking at Shidan. She quietly put an arm around Shirayuki and congratulated her. Shirayuki absently accepted it. She finally mouthed, _What?_

Shidan grinned and waited. Shirayuki shook her head slightly as she tried to move her mind from _Olin Maris_ to graduation examiner. She took the pen from Shidan and wrote, _In pharmacy?_ He nodded at her, not able to contain his glee.

He looked at Izuru, then picked up a second pen. _Izuru, will you take the things Little Cat is supposed to know from here? Shirayuki can take castle and practical applications. I was her pharmacy professor, so I'll ask the questions pertaining to her actual research._ Both women looked at him in absolute surprise, then burst into beams of pure joy for Ilena's sake. The wind swirled at his ankles and he moved to look out into the room. It was now empty except for two guards for Shirayuki. He moved into action, speaking very quietly to them and they very quickly put together the full plan and set of questions.

When they were ready, Shidan led them to the door of the Pharmacy and looked out. Obi, Ilena and their guards were in the library and moving slowly. He opened it and stood looking in awe. He couldn't help it. He moved slowly until he was in the doorway to the library. "Shidan?" Izuru whispered, coming up on one side. Shirayuki came up on the other.

"She's doing it...for Obi. What she couldn't do for anyone but her guards before. Thayne let me hear it once when I was in the right place and time. It gave me the hope that today might come." He was very quiet also. They watched as she acted like Yuzuri, flitting about like a butterfly, lighting softly next to a student and fanning her with her wings gently until that student was refreshed and ready to move onward and upward. Then she would lift and fly again. Over and over, moving from student to student. Shidan's heart filled and he could feel his eyes going misty again. He turned away briefly to look at Izuru. She looked up at him, wonder in her eyes, then gave him a happy smile, happy for him. He smiled mistily back at her. She reached up and he took her offered hand, his heart full. He looked at Shirayuki, who was looking at Ilena in wonder. "She was hurt so badly by this place, twice, when they refused to give her the linguistics diploma at twelve and the pharmacy one at fourteen. To watch her do this is to watch a miracle. She has no self-confidence at all with it, but it is so natural and beautiful. Every one of those students has a different field of study, yet she helps every one of them."

Shirayuki nodded, delight on her face also, "You can see it in their faces, just before she leaves them to work on it," she said.

Shidan nodded. "I wish I could see it on her own student's face when she does it for him, but it will have to be private, I'm afraid. He's under watch. He's been almost six months now beating himself on the insurmountable problem, because she wasn't here to help him. He is going to just glow."

Shirayuki was looking at him, horrified. "S-six months?!" She breathed.

Shidan nodded. "I know she couldn't help it. We all know. She only ever could come on occasion. Even he knew it, but it was too long at four months. Only knowing you were coming has kept him going the last three weeks. After months, weeks is possible."

Shirayuki nodded, but her astonishment didn't go away.

Izuru stiffened and drew their attention back. Shidan looked back to find Ilena. She had lit on a new student and Obi was moving. Shidan held his breath. Ilena threw a glance at Obi and kept talking, kept listening, didn't fly away. Obi timed his landing perfectly and became the second butterfly on the flower and the three talked in complete harmony.

"Ah, excuse me," came from behind them.

Shirayuki turned. "Henry," she said.

He paused and looked over Shirayuki's head. "Oh, is she about done?"

Shidan nodded. "Likely. We'll leave before she sees us." He had recognized these two of her guards, and Thayne of course, but these two had always been the ones to interrupt him in the library to allow her to escape.

"And, Master Obi is doing masterfully, as usual," the grin in Henry's voice was evident. Shidan wanted to wipe his face for him suddenly. He turned, angry just a little, but stopped at the look in Henry's face. He was just as enrapt, just as bright as the three of them were. Henry glanced at him. "We couldn't take it any more. Thayne was so excited to find you up there. We all made sure she never knew."

Shidan felt his heart melt, and his eyes again, because they always seemed to with her. "Thank you. That was the best gift I've ever received...except today. Make sure she doesn't escape. Bring her to the Observatory when she's done with Flandras."

"Will do," Henry nodded. Shidan moved so he could get through, then threw one last glance at Ilena and Obi, sipping nectar at a newly opening flower, giving it the light and encouragement it needed to begin to bloom into the beautiful fully fragrant flower it would be some day soon.

He turned and led the other women down the hallway and towards the Dean's office, soft tears dripping down his cheeks. When Izuru reached up to wipe his cheek and Shirayuki pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the other, he said, a little brokenly, "Can there be any better day than this?" Izuru squeezed his hand. He squeezed back and didn't let go.

When they walked into the Dean's office, the Dean was in the same state Shidan was. Zen turned and gave Shidan the same surprised look he was giving the Dean. Shidan and the Dean looked at each other, acknowledged their shared joy, then didn't look at each other any more or it would be much worse. "Prince Zen," Shidan said, looking at him. "It is impossible for the Dean and I to express how much we have longed for this day. Thank you so much for bringing Ilena to us. I have hurt for her for ten years, since I helped her with her research and knew she wouldn't be recognized for it. She had other reasons that helped to push her through, and the recognition has never meant anything to her, really, but it has damaged her nonetheless."

He turned to the Dean. "I've just come from watching her work her magic in person...and watching her allow Obi to join with her. She has moved the next step. I think she will be ready, though uncomfortable. I believe we have reached the pinnacle today." The Dean was in heaven. "Shirayuki has agreed to perform the practical part, Izuru the knowledge level, and I will do the thesis part, of course. They should be taking her to Flandras now, so we should move soon, I think. I've asked them to take her to the Observatory."

The Dean nodded. "That's an appropriate location. I've sent for Professors Mander and Timmons. We'll need Professor Mander anyway for the transfer of student, but with them and myself we can give her the teaching exam."

Shidan nodded. "And the statistics professors?"

"I've sent them word. They should be getting ready also, though they'll take a little longer since they haven't prepared for his exam yet."

Shirayuki was looking between them confused. "Excuse me, can I understand what is going to happen?"

Shidan let the Dean explain. "We are going to examine Ilena first for her basic diploma, in Pharmacy. Then we'll follow it immediately with her examination to full professor, in Strategy." Zen startled in surprise. Shidan smiled at him. "Then we'll call in Ilena's student and his two statistics professor so that Ilena can test him today. He has only the insurmountable problem and the final writing to be completed. We want to have him tested while she's here. It isn't unusual to perform the exam before the written part is fully completed, as long as that is all that needs to be done."

Shirayuki blinked. Her hand was cupped at her heart, and her mouth was slightly opened. "Oh, my. That - that's rather...will she survive?"

Shidan smiled. "Oh, yes. I may not, but she will, and then she'll be free. She was freed from her harsh Master when she came to you at Wilant. Today she'll be freed from the pain and constraints of the past here in the University, and we in Lyrias will also from that time see the sun that shines in the face of Mother when she walks the halls unreserved." The tears were dripping again. He impatiently dashed them from his eyes. "Ah, I'm sorry Prince Zen. I'm afraid I've cried more tears over Ilena in the past month than I've ever cried in my life. It isn't a normal thing, I assure you."

Zen laughed lightly. "No, she does this to everyone. We've gotten used to it. Obi carries four or five handkerchiefs now all the time and swears they own a handkerchief factory since they need so many."

Shidan laughed. That sounded like an Obi joke, and he wouldn't be too surprised if it was also true.

Zen paused. "I would like to speak with her before the examinations start. Let me go collect her from Flandras' laboratory and bring her to the Observatory and talk to her there. That way she won't be so suspicious and can't run away. At the proper time, you can come in and we'll begin." He looked down at the Dean's desk, picked up the reports and handed one to Shirayuki. "You'll recognize this."

Shirayuki looked at the name on the front, then opened it. Her mouth fell open. "It's Ryuu's language." She looked up in surprise.

Shidan nodded with the others. "She formalized it and it was her second paper. Her first was for an oral language and she passed that exam, but they didn't know how to give a child with no heritage or parents a diploma. Because of her, we've been trying to understand how to help genius grow. Ryuu was our first acceptable experiment, but we want them to thrive here. You and he have set the example. This university is now ready, after today's correction of those past errors, to move forward, properly caring for all holders and seekers of knowledge, of any age." He looked soberly at them all, his pride in his university, his home, finally able to find roost in truth.

Izuru held his hand tightly again, just as proud. The Dean also was very proud. Zen's look was soft. "My brother will be glad to hear it. He's also waited a long time. He was so angry to learn who had hold of her when he was here. He's loved Ilena a very long time, since she was five and she led him to her light then." Shidan blinked, then smiled a slow, very bright smile. He understood completely. The Dean rose and he, Shidan, and Izuru all bowed to Zen, then the Dean led them to Flandras' lab, where they quietly left Zen and his guards and took themselves to the Pharmacy again. Shirayuki's guards stood on the door, outside, and when Zen had taken Ilena into the Observatory, they opened the door to the Pharmacy and they all walked, with the education professors, to stand at the door to observe their star pupil.

Shidan stood behind the Dean, leaning on the door frame. He just couldn't keep the beaming smile off his face. As they filed into the room, and Little Cat stood stiffly, ready to flee, with nowhere to go, his look to her was gentle. Her Master and her Partner were by her and gave her the final courage she needed and when he, Shirayuki, and Izuru stood before her, she did as she had on the day she walked into the Pharmacy those ten years ago and took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and said 'go'. He was so proud of her. This moment was the culmination of that one step she'd taken that day and the correction of the errors of two years prior to that.

When the full examination set was completed, including a very happy Flandras' exam, and Ilena faced him again, he held open his arms, and she was in them. He held her very closely. "I'm so proud of you, Little Cat." He squeezed her. "Please...come visit tonight, if you can. I'll set the tea on."

She looked up at him and grinned. "I might have to bring another stray with me."

"I'd love that," he answered, glancing at Obi. "I like him, too."

She let him go and turned to Izuru and took her hand in her own warm, but trembling one. "Thank you for taking care of him for me. I often wondered who would see he was properly fed until you came." Shidan was suddenly reminded of the Family calling him a cat, too, and he realized she had really seen it that way. He smiled to himself, chagrined.

"It's my pleasure," Izuru answered Ilena gently with a smile. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Ilena released her.

Shidan and Izuru bowed, as they were the last to leave of the university contingent, and left them to walk back to the Pharmacy. As they walked slowly for Shidan to recover from his blissful feelings, he looked down at Izuru. He gently pet her head. She looked up at him and blinked a few sleepy-eye cat blinks. He smiled at her gently, then reached for her hand again. She shyly gave it to him. He looked away from her, knowing cats don't like direct eye contact. "You know," he said conversationally, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, "I've made you wait a long time. ...I'm sorry."

Izuru looked at him with round eyes. "No, I don't think so?"

"Well, you've been patient, nonetheless." He said calmly. "Would you be willing to make it official? Will you be my house cat and wife for the rest of my life?"

She froze on the spot. He stopped and waited patiently, not letting go of her hand. Finally she said, trying to get her mouth to work. "You know I'm a lot younger than you, right?"

He smiled, "Well, when you first came you were the age of my students, but that was a long time ago. I think that gap has closed some since then." She looked incredulous. "I really don't know what I would do with myself without you there. You really do make the place home for me, and I would very much miss you." He bent down to present his head to her. "I'd really like you to pet me, too. I'm adopting you as my owner." He waited, then heard a sniff. He smiled softly and a little sadly to himself. He really had made her wait a very long time. Softly, her hand touched the top of his head and timidly stroked his hair, then her arms were around his neck and she was crying in his arms.

He leaned back against the hallway wall and let her cry on him. She had waited so patiently, holding in her frustration and worry and tears, with only Ilena to vent to when she could come. "I really am sorry," he whispered to her.

She finally recovered and wiped her eyes, though he didn't let her go. "I knew you would need to see her to her home first," she said quietly. "Even I couldn't rest well, knowing she was still at that place. Our place was still her home until then. It's okay."

"I love you most because you understood that," he told her, looking her in the eye. "It made all the difference that you were never jealous to my face, but only patient. I know how hard that was." His heart hurt.

Izuru put her hand on the side of his face, searching his eyes. "You...knew?"

Shidan nodded miserably. She blushed in embarrassment. "I was glad she would take you out and let you vent when she was here. I hoped she even would let you beat up on her, your one rival you couldn't get rid of."

Izuru blushed harder. "Well...she did, sometimes, but she always wrapped her arms around me after and loved me for taking care of you for her. It made it easier, to know she cared for you, too, and for me." She looked up into his eyes. "I knew she loved Obi a long time before you. She told me early so I could be a little less jealous, though sometimes I wanted to throw it in your face."

Shidan kissed her forehead. "I know. Thank you for resisting. I saw you bite your lip and cheek so much I often wondered that you still had them."

Izuru shook her head, then thumped her head onto his chest hard enough to make her point. Then she sighed and turned her head to rest it on his chest...and froze. Shidan turned to look at Prince Zen and Shirayuki and their guards. He smiled lazily at them. "Don't mind us. I'm just making my most favorite day into my most perfect day."

Shirayuki laughed and Zen smiled. "Izuru, is it something you want?"

Izuru looked at Zen, a little surprised. "Yes," she said as if it should be obvious.

Zen looked at Shidan. "Are you happy with that?"

"Of course," he smiled.

Zen nodded. "Since I've heard it and I'm here, consider it official. Congratulations, you two."

Shidan grinned wider. "Even better," he looked down at Izruru. "Married by the Regent himself. Can we get any luckier?"

Izuru reached up and planted a kiss on his lips, making him blush. "Nope," she said with a teasing smile. "Perfect."

Shirayuki reached out a hand and Shidan let Izuru go. They hugged and Shidan got his handshakes, and his hug from Shirayuki. He'd wait to tell Ilena and Obi that night, and asked that they keep it a secret from them so he could tell. That was approved as well, happily. He bowed them out of the hallway, then took Izuru's hand in his and walked them into the Pharmacy. "Hey, everyone," he called softly, but at the tone in his voice, everyone was instantly where they could see and hear him. "Today, is the best day ever."

-o-o-o-

That night, very late, as Ilena and Obi were getting ready to leave, Shidan looked at her. "You know, there are a great many students here who rely on you now."

Ilena nodded. "I'll be back regularly. We'll come with Mistress Shirayuki on her progresses."

"Good." He tipped his head at her. "You know the Dean was going to make you his successor. If, in the future, you find yourself becoming bored in the castle, please consider the possibility of returning to us in that position, or his." He winked. "You'll always be welcome here, in your second home."

Ilena smiled. "It's on the board still. Izana's not there yet. We all still have a lot of life to live first. But...he's not opposed to it. I'm glad you made it my first home. Thank you, Shidan. For everything."

He shook his head and took her in his arms. "No. Thank you...Mother."

She held him and cried. He let her, just petting her hair calmingly until she finally recovered. "I-"

He stopped her. "I know. You've waited a long time to hear me call you that. They told me. Thank you for watching over me all this time, even from a distance. It has helped me to know you were present even that way. The first seven years were very difficult, but the more eyes I was surrounded by the more comforted I felt. It gave me hope."

She sniffed. "I'm glad, then."

Shidan put his hand on the top of her head, then remembered. "Oh, yes." He leaned down, "Please pet me."

Ilena laughed through her sniffs and obliged, lovingly running her hand over his head until he purred.

"I didn't know you purred!" Izuru said.

Shidan looked at her from the corner of her eye triumphantly. "Well, I'd say I learned it from you, but I didn't. It was what attracted me to you, though."

Izuru giggled, pinking up. Obi took Ilena's hand and Shidan rose to standing. "I think we need to leave the two of you alone, now," Obi said wryly. "Wedding night, and all."

With grins at them, the two black cats, who had found their home together finally, disappeared, leaving the two white ones to look at each other lovingly and finally come home in each other's arms, the dust finally leaving Shidan's fur coat and the white sparkling through brightly, his home cleansed and his heart filled.

"Hey, have you figured out how they do that, yet?"

"No."

"Hmm... Think they'd tell us?"

"...No."

"Haah. ...Well, I thought not, but thought it worth asking."

*chuckle*

*kiss*

*fade to black*

-o-o-o-

* * *

* _The Missing Princess Book 1:Obi's (Back)Story and Book 2:Princess of Three Countries are this story. I'm sure the spokesman gave the summary and abbreviated form, but he might not have..._


End file.
